ghost garden

when you try and improve yourself but you’re still the same

Everything’s gonna be okay, pt. 3

I call it feminism instead of equality because it is the feminine traits that men and women are shamed for. It is the feminine traits that society needs to accept.

“Good Morning” “How was your day?” “Be careful” “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe” “Sweet dreams” “How are you?” “I hope you’re feeling better” “Have a good day today!” “I miss you” “Good night” “Can you come over?” “Can I come over?” “Can I see you?” “Can I call you?” “You’re beautiful” “Want something to drink?” “Watch your step” “Let’s watch a movie” “What are you up to?” “How is your day so far?” “It will be okay” “I’m here for you” “Do you need anything?” “Are you hungry?” “I just wanted to hear your voice” “You just made my day” … You don’t have to hear “I Love You” to know that someone does. Listen carefully. People speak from the heart more often than you think.

i tell him: here is where the fork goes, which paint looks best, what to wear to this, what to say in response to a gift, here is how to turn down food twice before accepting the third time, here is how to be nice to someone who is not nice to you, here is how you clear a table, here is how you clear someone else’s table, here is how you thank someone for dinner, for wine, for being there, here is how to state your opinion in a quiet and differential way so they will be more accepting, here is how to ask someone to do something and not be considered bossy, here is how to say “no” and not sound angry i tell him: watch her bag, you’re in the way; go get the door for that woman, she’s carrying her baby; there’s a child behind you, don’t step back; you just cut in front of them, at least send them an apologetic look; please tell that man to shut up, i am too small to punch him and i might if he keeps talking; please tell that man to stop offering her drinks, she doesn’t want any and he’s not listening; please please please call your friends out when they make jokes that would poison me he asks me how i keep everything straight, he says, “you’re always so polite, always looking out for everybody,” he asks me how i know how to run a house and a business and a party, how i know all of these small lessons in etiquette as if they were ingrained in me, how i weigh every situation i walk into in a fraction of an instant, how i always seem to know what to do and i love him dearly but i would love to live in a world where i would not have to know these things, i would love to be like him and walk with my spine straight at a train station, i would love to leave messes wherever i went and expect that someone will clean them, to never worry that i’m drinking or eating or laughing or talking too much, i would love to be able to calm down at a bar and just talk instead of worrying that the girl next to me is too drunk to walk and the person creeping on her isn’t letting her go home, i would love to be blind to the things that i know, i would love to be rude and loud and to take up the space that the mountain range in me wants to expand to but i tell him: here is how i survive. it is all i know how to do.