🌞🌈

my friend is very confident and free and i always want to know how she does it so once i asked her and she just said “the only difference between me and you is that when people treat you badly you think it’s because there’s something wrong with you but when people treat me badly i think there’s something wrong with them.” scalped

To lovely humans who were excluded from invitations, left behind when they tied their shoes, forced to walk in the grass when the sidewalk was full, spoken over when you tried to contribute, whispered about or laughed at, given side-eye when you tried to fit in…. you are so worthy of love.

don’t be scared to live lovingly. compliment your friends on the little things and cheer for live bands in small cafes and leave tips when you can. tell the person you saw that you really like their shirt and write cards and letters to the people you love. make playlists for people and don’t be afraid to express your appreciation for others. life is so much better when you live it with love.

one of the biggest things i believe to be true about relationships is that you must make it feel safe for the people you love to call you out on shit. like obviously don’t let anyone emotionally manipulate or terrorize you but in general, in healthy adult relationships, there is always a pattern of rupture/repair. someone does something (unintentionally!) that makes someone else feel not great, and it needs to be addressed. the best thing you can do to preserve and improve your interpersonal relationships is to be open to these conversations. you have to be able to hear how your words or actions have affected someone, even if it absolutely wasn’t your intention, and you have to be able to simply acknowledge and apologize. it doesn’t matter if you didn’t see it that way. someone you love did, and they care enough to tell you, and that’s a gift. be grateful for the opportunity to do better.

i remember thinking that the only way to be loved was if i reinvented myself to be desirable. as it turns out, the person whose love i was seeking in the first place was myself, and the most desirable version of myself i could think of was a person who's happy, so i'm working on that instead.