GetReadofMe

that create no constellation

not bound to have connection.

We are debris

a piece of our old self wanting to connect

but pushed to become shooting star.

As they wish upon us

i wish that next time we’ll live

we’re no longer stars, but each other’s worlds.

Falling

sa mga bituin sa langit.

Na sana may sumagot,

dahil malapit nang mabagot-

ang pusong muling napaibig,

susugal na sana ngunit,

biglang napunit ang papel kung saan-

isusulat na’tin ang magpakailanman.

Nauna na namang humalik ang luha kesa sa tinta,

sa papel na sana ay magdadala,

ng tuwa sa bagong istorya.

Huwag na sanang magpapakita ng motibo,

kung iiwan lang din naman pala sa dulo.

Bolabola’t Asado

The thrill of seeing a smile,

of wanting to wake up the next day-

and looking forward to having a great time.

With the someone you only want, but you can’t have.

I felt it again.

The ache when you smile because of someone else,

of wanting the next day you’d fall for me-

and we’ll be having a great time.

With someone like me, whom you also want.

I wish I could never feel this again.

So then sorrows won’t visit my dreams-

“What ifs” and “could have beens” will remain drawings.

The flutter I feel that I can’t even utter a single word.

The butterflies in my stomach, but you can’t even stomach-

the fact that I am ME.

This too, shall remain a silent story.

Love story.

Love.

Store-y.

Spiderman

inuulit mo naman ang daang dati mong nalakaran.

Tanawin man ay naiba,

iisa pa rin ang kwento ng aking tula.

Lubos pa ring umaasa.

Sa mga maliliit na bagay na nakatutuwa-

pagmasdan, pakinggan kahit ito’y kathang isip lang.

Dahil malikot ako mag-isip, may kulay nga pati maitim na singit.

Biktima pa rin ng matatamis na salita.

May diabetis na pero sige pa -

sa paglaklak ng asukal na malayo sa katotohanan.

Totoong nakakaadik ang kending nagtatamis-tamisan.

Nabibihag pa rin ng mga ngiti.

Na tumatagos naman sa akin pero bakit pati-

ako ay nahuhumaling sa ngiting hindi laan sa akin,

kung hindi sa nasa katabi, o sa likod na iyong pinipintakasi.

Ginawan ka lang ng pabor,

akala mo, ang pag-ibig niya ay sinlaki ng bapor.

Na sa dami ng pwede niyang maisakay,

hindi naman ikaw ang nais niyang kasabay.

Mali ang ulitin ang nakaraan.

Mali na sa hinaharap, ikaw pa rin ay nasa dating daan-

dahil patuloy ka pa ring pinaglalaruan ng mga kulay,

sa bahaghari, ng mga ngiti, ng mga matang singkit,

ng mga salitang hindi naman para sa’yo, pero pinipilit mong inaako.

Dahil ang pag-ibig ay hindi umiikot sa salitang AKO.

Ito ay binubuo ng TAYO, pero sa atin ito ay malabo.

Hindi pa rin totoo, sa 2022.

has reached its deepest drain.

That even the loneliest drop of tear has vanished -

on the air. Disappeared.

Your smile that is painted by your lips -

is already gone, and rarely seen like an eclipse.

For it was once my cue to be happy -

seeing you smiling because of me.

But;

Your eyes now, are full of worries -

on things that you shouldn’t be dealing solely.

Your vast emotions are encapsulated -

by a small bottle called depression.

Your lips that were once a painter -

of smile had gone wild, and became the gate.

Of words like “bullshit” and I suppose those words-

came from your core that is already sore.

Exhausted and drained -

emotions restrained.

Take a rest but not quit-

life is full of uncertainties: always believe.

Unheard Cry

Hindi sobra, o kulang.

Tamang nasa gitna -

pero, mapapanindigan kaya?

Nakakalito ang magmahal sa panahon ngayon.

Kapag sumobra ka, nakakasakal.

Kapag nagkulang naman, baka hindi ka na mahal.

Paano ba magmahal ng sakto?

Sakto, yung tipong, Mahal kita mula umaga hanggang gabi,

hindi yung may iba sa umaga, tanghali, at sa gabi.

Sakto, yung bang hindi nakakaumay,

dahil baka magkadiabetis sa sobrang tamis.

O malanta, dahil wala ng pagsinta.

Pero, meron nga bang pagmamahal na sakto?

Sa tingin ko, wala.

Pero, tao na sakto, oo.

Nagsasayang ka ng oras at panahon,

sa maling tao na pilit mong sinasabing tama.

Tama na.

Matuto ka ring mapagod.

Inuubos mo ang mga tinta at papel,

kakasulat ng mga tula para sa isang taong -

ni minsan hindi ka naman naging paksa.

Sa mga kung ano man, dahil, kung mahal ka, ibibida ka din sana.

Pinupuyat mo ang sarili mo.

Nag-iipon ng sakit, hanggang sumakit ang sintido-

pero bakit hindi ka natututo sa mga sakit,

na dulot ng mga bagay na pinipilit mo.

Tumatawa at masaya sya sa mga bagay na hatid.

Hindi dahil sa iyo.

Gusto nya ang mga bagay na mayroon ka.

Hindi ikaw.

Hindi ka niya naiisip katulad ng pagooverthink mo.

Sa mga bagay na hindi naman magkakatotoo -

kasi ang totoo.

Sa inyong dalawa, ikaw lang ang may gusto.

Baka nga …

Nasanay ka lang at ginawa siyang bisyo.

Naadik sa kasinungalingan na gawa-gawa mo.

Hindi siya para sa iyo. Hindi siya magiging para sa iyo.

Kasi kung noon pa lang gusto ka na niya …

Hindi ka sana nag-aantay na parang tanga.

Limang taon na. Baka, naman, huminto ka na.

That you create your own world in a single drop of ink,

Tinted on a piece of paper,

Waved hand, with matching twitches of fingers,

And the product will be,

An effervescent and lovely literature.

It looks interesting the way you convert hurts,

Into something you cant imagine.

What a systematic thinking,

Or should I say correlation of heart and mind,

Of love and hate,

Of you and me,

Of never an us.

A picturesque view that suddenly you want to paint,

A sole individual writing his heart's out,

With his windows watering,

With his heart bleeding,

With his soul crashing,

With his love laughing,

With his someone he is loving,

With you alone weeping.

What a wonderful gift of pain in loving,

That what your mind cannot rationalize,

Suddenly gives you a sensational,

Feeling of happiness after you write your aches and hurts,

Comes a smile kept in a wounded ego,

Treasured by an imbecile person like me.

The swaying of love and letters.

liking the lifestyle I am no longer into.

You can calmly breathe and never be afraid into-

being yourself once again. Out from the closet you’ve made,

that I strengthened with words that almost killed you.

I am a murderer who uses no knives but sharp words.

I caged you.

From the bastille of what I believed in, not from what you believed in.

I made a monster from you. And you, too, were afraid of yourself before.

But that was before.

Now, you are slowly creeping back to the life that you had once,

where you haven’t met me yet. And that was peaceful.

Coffee, books, and movies.

19something

Yung sabik sa aking mukha -

hindi na masigla tumawa -

hindi na katulad dati ang saya.

Maraming nagbago.

Ako man, hindi ko inakala to-

masyado lang kasing maluwag yung kung anong meron tayo,

at biglang naiba nung tayo ay naging seryoso.

Meron pa akong panlasa -

pero hindi ko na malasahan ang saya ng dati,

nating pagsasama dahil baka pagod na,

at sawa na sa isa’t-isa.

Pagod ng hanapin ang dating ningning ng mata-

tuwa para kausapin ka-

kwento kong mahaba, dahil-

lahat ay tila ba, nag-iba na.

Pahina

I would still be wearing the same smile,

you planted on me. My thoughts-

became different from what it was used to be.

I let you drew a line.

To which, I am afraid of crossing-

for I might lose myself, or you,

or all of the things we shared and do.

If only, I hadn’t listened-

to the emotions of your heart.

Drops of feelings from your eyes.

I can no longer see you - eye to eye.

We lost us.

O kung ano man ang ipinasok sa akin -

akala ko noon, masakit, pero …

Hindi pala totoo ang sakit.

Simula noong hinawakan mo -

pinisil-pisil hanggang mamula ito.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako napapikit,

Dahil ba, sa unang tira mo, mejo masakit?

Natawa ka, pati rin ako.

Ramdam ko ang kaba sa mga kamay mo -

tinitigan mo ako sa aking mata, at sinabing:

“Idederetcho ko na.”

Masakit, pero masarap.

Sa bawat pagbaon, doon ko nalasap -

ang unang pagkakataon na pinasok mo ako.

May kaunting kaba, haluan ng dugo, sa susunod ulit -

magpapabutas ako.

Hikaw lang pala.

numb from the feelings of affection towards me.

As friend, as a lover, as a person - whom you share your jokes with.

And we’ll pass each other by like we don’t know each other.

In a pavement full of people -

chattering, but our silence is defeaning.

We meet eye to eye -

but we did not smile.

No one is bitter -

and we don’t even bother,

ask each other’s whatabouts and whereabouts.

What this is about?

You just woke up one day -

felt tired of understanding yourself.

Then I came. I took the blame.

Caring is killing myself and giving it to everyone else.

Indeed, you’re not my responsibility.

But that’s how friendship should be …

Fin

Pasensya na kung lagi ko kayong nasasaktan,

Sa mga letrang aking kinaadikan.

Hayok ako sa mga sakit at hinagpis,

Nung nagmahal ako ng taong sinaktan ako ng walang mintis.

Adik ako sa letra, lalo na sa U,

Ayoko sa X, na laging hinahanap mo.

Sa pormyula mong ikaw lang ang may alam,

At sa pagmamahalang ako lang din ang nakakaalam.

Nahumaling sa mga titik ni alpabetong Pilipino,

Na nagturo na sumulat ng mga tula’t liriko,

Mula sa pusong nabasag at nabigo,

Unti-unting nabuo sa tulong mo.

Hanggang ngayon, dala-dala ko parin,

Ang pagmamahal na umusbong sa palitan ng mga tula natin,

Kalakip ng sakit na magpahanggang ngayon andito pa rin,

Hindi ko maintindihan pero sinusuong parin.

Hindi ito kwento ng isang masayang pagmamahalan,

Hindi tambalan at walang ugnayan.

Tapos na ang mga araw na hawak ang kalkyuleytor at ikaw lang Mahal,

Dahil ngayon, hindi na ikaw ang aking mahal.

Sana sa susunod na tula,

Masaya at puno ng pagmamahalan na ang dala,

Ng mga letra at pangungusap.

Pero sa ngayon, pasensya na muna ...

Hindi ako marunong sumulat ng tula, na pagmamahalang matamis ang nagdala.

has reached its deepest drain.

That even the loneliest drop of tear has vanished -

on the air. Disappeared.

Your smile that is painted by your lips -

are already gone, and rarely seen like an eclipse.

For it was once my cue to be happy -

seeing you smiling because of me.

But;

Your eyes now, are full of worries -

on things that you shouldn’t be dealing solely.

Your vast emotions are encapsulated -

by a small bottle called depression.

Your lips that were once a painter -

of smile had gone wild, and became the gate.

Of words like “bullshit” and I suppose those words-

came from your core that is already sore.

Exhausted and drained -

emotions restrained.

Take a rest but not quit-

life is full of uncertainties: always believe.

Unheard Cry