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Love Begins
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@getonwithyourbadself
please turn off the lights on your way out

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HILARY DUFF | WEATHER FOR TENNIS (2026)
whole lipstick on a pig is bogus to me because we put lipstick on a pig and this is what happened

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Here I go,
Letting myself fall. I want it and I don’t care. Let me trip and fall on my face because at least I know it was real. I honestly tried and you fumbled me. And that’ll live with you. For as long as you let it live. And I’ll move on. I’ll grow. As I always have.
I haven’t written poetry in years but here it goes.
I can’t have any role models! I scream. 2017 Chester Bennington, 2018 Anthony Bourdain, 2019 my dad, and 2022 my bestfriend. I scream out I’ll never be okay, but every day it’s still the same. The unanswered questions, cliff hangover conversations, everything’s cool till it’s not and you’re not here for me to even get closure. So I go to therapy, personal atrophy, act like your just a ghost who watches me smoke pot and take every substance to just sober up and realize that your still not. Not here not there, just a dream, to redeem and gleem in my eye because what you were then is no longer nye.
Someone who wants all sides of me... The nerd, the random thoughts, the sexual freak, the quiet, the lover, the loner
dating someone who naturally brings out your playfulness, makes you laugh, never stops flirting with you, and loves you a little extra on the days you don't feel loveable makes you feel so incredibly safe and secure which makes you fall even more in love
I honestly never thought I’d have a roster in my 30’s yet here we are. I spent my 20’s in long af relationships and never had my time in these streets. Dude some 24 year old gave me his number the other day and I texted him for the plot. He tried lying about his age 🫢 Like why am I attracting all these young af fuck boys in their 20’s? These boys hungry and confident af like what?

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So that was embarassing, he ghosted me after we smashed 😂
It’s cool, I got what I wanted. He ended a 2 year dry spell and I was touch starved af, but hey he boosted the fuck outta my ego that I still got it and can still fuck like the best. Dick game was aiight, but I know he held back 😮💨 Also now I know I can still pull hot af guys in their 20’s so thanks my guy.
Also I don’t put all my eggs into one basket so you KNOW your girl stay having options.
Also why tf am I attracted to cancer men? Still tho.
Holding out for Diego or Eric 🤘🏼 but one is too distant and the other is too scared too approach me. I’ll start working on them and see where it grows. ALSO. Someone has revealed themselves to me and they are the cutest and I never noticed them but also thought whenever just a sweeetheart. But I see you, I hear you, and I’m gonna come into work tomorrow. The way you conveyed how you saw me outside of work jamming out in my car when I was just in my own element and you like really saw me and that made you smile and beam. Ugh, what are you doing. You know we can’t do this, even though that’s exactly what I wanna do.
I can’t say it enough. Going from getting stood up by an ex who is balding rn btw to having a date planned by a fine af younger guy who is kind and patient is the ultimate getting your lick back. You know who you are, you had every chance but you’re too much of a coward to love yourself let alone love anyone else. Stop being such a narcissist and heal your avoidant attachment style because it’s honestly your biggest downfall. I worked through my anxious and avoidant attachment’s through counseling and I hope that one day you can too. I forgive you but also I’ll probably never ever give you that chance again.
With that said, I hope you keep going to therapy and here’s to me never pining for you like you have been pining for me ever since. Never again, I know my worth and I’m never going back. Also all of your boys like my posts/pics on my socials too so I guess that means I win 😌😉😘
So I met this guy at work right? He walks in, we lock eyes and he doesn’t look away. He’s seems curious and so am I. We exchange pleasantries as I check him in and he say he loves my hair color. Asks if it’s natural and I laugh and say I wish. We banter back and forth and he says well it looks good and I volley back with “right back atcha’ and smiled. That man was smitten, tell me why he come’s back out and says I’m fun to talk to and if I wanted to exchange info. Giiiiirl I grabbed that nearest note pad and pen and threw it at him. We’ve been texting and it’s so nice and refreshing. Like the conversations aren’t dry, he legit asks questions and responds thoughtfully. Like this man genuinely wants to get to know me. We have a date on either Monday or Tuesday that he himself is planning. The only thing is he’s a bit younger, I’m 34 and he’s 26 but I don’t get that young fuck boy energy from him at all. He says he wants to buy a house in 2 years. It’s seems a bit all too good to be true, but I’m really nervous and excited to see him again. And I don’t really have this anxious attachment to him like I’ve had with guys in the past. I guess that means I really am in my healing era and ready to receive love again and give it back. Thank you Universe for sending me Andree, even if it’s not a for sure thing, I’m happy to just be chased again. Omg and when he was writing his number down, I asked him for his name because I was so flustered I forgot 😭 I told him mine and went to shake his hand and tell me why this man grabs my hand with both of his and squeezes it like he didn’t want to let go and looks deep into my eyes. I wanted to melt right there. He’s so hot and I’m so excited, I can’t wait to make out him 😈🙈🙂↕️
I’m in my sexual awakening and I just wanna fuck any hot emo/goth/muscled tattooed guy that walks now. Even tho I know I won’t. I’m ready, waiting and seething. Be ready mf 😈💖
When you have to block an ex because he’s married and keeps following your insta stories and you know she has no idea. Blocked and be gone my guy. That shit hurt when you did it to me, I refuse to be apart of your toxic cycle. You ever reach out again and I’ll ruin you. Go away and leave me alone.

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I’m gonna rat on you if you ever reach out. You’re married, you’re gross, go away. Stop watching my stories weirdo 😉🖕🏼✨