Born To Be Wild

For anyone not going, do you like, hate fun?

I guess that’s one way. Maybe we should go out one night, see who can get the most free alcohol? Up for it?

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Oh little boy, you really don’t want to play that game with me. I run these bars and you’ll be eating your words and crying back to Mama.

Mmmm, I have a magic trick of my own.

Originally posted by spellmanmortuary

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I know that trick. It’s called getting on your knees.

I feel there’s literally never anything going around here though! It was much needed, in my opinion, I don’t think I had been at a house party since high school. 

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Maybe Lima doesn’t invite you to parties, but I certainly have fun more often than not. Plus, don’t you work at a bar, how can you say nothing happens?

Damn, you’ve missed a lot. TL;DR: I was outed by my uncle to my parents, they evicted me, cut me off, and completely shut me out. I am now living with my friend Anna, who is amazing. 

The stick has been removed from my ass. And, I’d like to point out, that out of my family, mine was the least intrusive of sticks. 

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Missed a lot? Nah. Stayed out of rich bitch business? Yeah.

So what I’m getting is that you removed the stick for the ability to add a dick.

It’s always a great day when there’s a party in Lima, considering how shocking our nightlife is a party just feels so refreshing. Did you have fun? I feel like the free alcohol really helped everyone to let their hair down, it was wonderful.

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If people are waiting around for a party hosted by Lily-Jane to let their hair down, I don’t even want to know what’s going on in their lives, talk about boring. Obviously people need a little more fun in life.

Of course I did, but I didn’t stick around the whole time, I don’t remember the last time I spent a night out in one place.

Wasn’t it amazing? I didn’t stay for a super long time, but a party in Lima? It was honestly probably the most amazing thing in years.

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I wouldn’t have called it “amazing”, it’s not like I don’t have fun any other time, but watching other people make fools of themselves was quite entertaining.

Who can say no to free alcohol, let’s be honest here. I always seem to manage to somehow get a free shot or something, whenever I go out somewhere, must be luck? Maybe…

Originally posted by mrdirtyhands

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Considering I know exactly what one has to do to get free shots, you’re not fooling anyone, kiddo.

Oh, well I disagree! Ruby Gloom was a big crush of mine when I was younger! But if you wanted me to be something more promiscuous, I could see if a Brittany Miller from the Chipettes costume would be in the cards. Saying that, I’d probably need a Jeanette and a Eleanor is that was the case…

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The sexiness of a costume should be your first priority and if you have to be relying on other people, I feel like that’s not worth it. Plenty of options that aren’t some form of ... cosplay.

Did ya have a great time at the party? At first I thought I’d hate the mundane schedule life but I love order, I guess. It was real nice to enjoy the evening though and not have to worry about work the next day.

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As good of a time as any can have at a Lima party. Finished the night off at Scandals though, like any person with a brain would have done.

Order? Fuck that. If I was stuck in an endless cycle of all the scheduling I think I would pull my hair out.

Always a pleasure, George. 

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I would be if you didn’t have such a stick in your ass like your entire family.

So, now that it’s August, I need to start planning my Halloween costume. Last year I was Red from Fraggle Rock so I can’t do another Muppet two years in a row…Maybe Ruby Gloom? Or Euchariah from Halloween is Grinch Night! Ugh, so many options!

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None of those even sound remotely hot, so what’s the point?

Yes, you heard it right, Morgan McCarthy has returned from his travels to grace the beautiful town of Lima with his potentially temporary presence for the first time in I want to say around a year? Who knows for sure, but guess what? I am indeed employed this time, and at my alma mater of all places. McKinley, are you ready for your new swimming coach? Anyway, work is boring so moving onto the more important questions. Is there any big goss I’ve missed whilst I was away? Who’s been fucking who? What’s the drama? I need to catch up on that gossip blog, don’t I?

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You were ... gone? There’s so many of you that it’s hard to tell.

Well… I survived a week at the Police Academy. I was top of my class in physical, top 3 in academic, and top 2 in marksman, however, a majority of those in my class, and my instructors, were the last kind of people you’d hope to be police, yet the exact ones you would expect. 

I was basically assumed to be ‘one of them’ and they’d make the most intolerant, ignorant, racist, sexist, or homophobic jokes possible. I’d never laugh. I learned that it’s ‘shoot to kill’ in just about any semi-violent situation, which I think is bullshit. It’s not at all what I expected. I don’t want to be part of an institution that pushes all this shit instead of actually making things better. Maybe it’s because of the dinosaurs still teaching at the academy, or maybe it’s simply because we’re in Ohio. 

I’m back. Luckily, they had yet to find my replacement as the football coach at McKinley, so, Coach Clarington is back as well. I’m not going back to the RROTC though. 

Did I miss anything exciting while I was gone?

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Do you, like, want a prize for figuring out it’s a waste of time and the police are corrupt pieces of shit?