( &. help . )

Michael B Jordan on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/259563294

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #9 

I just rly like this snap✨💛

“crum-bummy? take a look at yo fuckin’ forehead gordita. now extend those ears and catch a breeze, i have too much to worry about without dealing with you.” 

     “ sorry --- where does your hairline start again, burnt up freddy krueger lookin’ ass. you were the one coming at me for looking at your sandwich, which is nasty by the way. ”

“are you eyeballin’ my sandwhich?” she asked, looking over at the other with a raised eyebrow. “’cause i will smack a bitch up if they try and snatch my meatball marinara.” 

     “ nobody wants your crum-bummy ass sandwich, gil. ”

     “ for someone who’s so patriotic you’d think he’d know the laws. so what, you’re like -- on a work visa for the avengers?? that’s not very fair to the 700,000 people that don’t get granted citizenship, don’t you think?? ”

              “ and you’re going steady with this old lady. ”

     “ stop exposing me, ‘phelia. you’re very good looking for your age, okay?? ”

     “ that sounds fake as fuck, scarlet witch doesn’t have her citizenship, how’d you get yours?? ”

             “ i don’t understand that reference. ”

     “ oh right, i almost forget you’re an old lady. ”

     “ mister, i’m an american. ”

             “ w–words? ”

     “ somebody once told me the world is gonna rule me, i ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. ”

Michael B. Jordan attends the Opening Celebration Of CATCH LA on September 17, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.

Michael B. Jordan seen out in Studio City, Calif. on September 20, 2016

❝ YOU’RE MY best friend, man. ❞

     “ and you’re mine. ”

  ophelia fiddled with the phone in her hand before waiting for the other’s response. 

     “ oh - no, no no. you’re not calling them, ophelia. hell no. you’re gonna walk your cute little ass the fuck in there and tell them you’re not working for the fuckin’ nazis anymore. do you know what shield could do with all the shit you have on them?? they’ll put you under protective custody like THAT if you go to them first. i mean -- i’m not big on shield but, i think it’s the best option for you. i just want you safe. ”