Genuinely Deluded

It's important to me that Shane and Ilya are criers. Big wet sniffling weeping snot guys. Shane's crying in the car on the way home from the club when he should be fucking his hot girlfriend. Ilya's crying in Shane's arms in Tampa because dammit Hollander we can't do this but I want to do this I want it more than anything. They're crying while they say I love you in the refuge of the cottage because they're safe now, they're safe to feel everything they've been wanting to feel. Ilya's crying after fucking his boyfriend so good on Halloween but it doesn't cure him it doesn't make everything better. Shane's crying after they fight because he fucked up mom I'm a terrible boyfriend I fucked up I didn't see how unhappy he was and now I'm going to lose him. They're crying on Facetime because Ilya could have died, and then Shane would have died, everyday, for the rest of his life. They're crying because they're going to spend the rest of their lives together. And then they fuck and lick up each other's fat Studio Ghibli tears while doing it raw. And I give it a standing ovation every time.

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to