I'm sorry

the idea that dirk gently couldn't say the word fuck is beyond comical.

dirk and todd go to a pumpkin patch montage

Nobody in Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency is straight or neurotypical

good evening to overly enthusiastic holistic detectives, grumpy and tired assist-friends, badass bisexuals, holistic assassins and kidnapped computer scientists, gay princes with daddy issues, extremely confused detective partners, girls-turned-dogs and dogs-turned-girls, magical forest fairy godmothers, chaotic inhuman punks who commit daily arson, dumbass redeemed villains in control of government facilities, evil mothers turned evil queens, shark kittens, and 1800s scientists turned entrepreneurs turned modern millionaires who hire holistic detectives to solve their own murder.

good morning to people who aren't psychic, hotel employees who just got fired, punk drummer girls, competent and badass women, psychic vampires, lovable assassins, electricians who don't really know what's going on, rockstars from the 80s who went missing, fbi himbos, police officers who probably should've just gone for a doughnut instead, time traveling inventors, girls disguised as dogs and dogs disguised as girls and sharks disguised as cats, and, last but not least, people with cool jackets