Why Should I Compromise Myself

Anne Lister as portrayed in Gentleman Jack

oh my god oh my god oh my god I LOVE that little 4th wall break so much – I’ll try to explain why I love it so much.

You already described the situation: Anne just left Crow Nest and she’s super happy about how things went and she shares some personal thoughts with us. When Washington calls her, she just finished telling us that all Ann Walker “needs to do now is realize that the nature of what she feels for me, is love.” That’s some powerful confession right there (and it also shows how confident Anne is, and how good she is to read people). If we go past the way she phrases it – the “all she needs to do” makes it sound like Ann Walker needs to realize her feelings all by herself, but we know that’s not really the case – she’s basically telling us what is gonna happen next: Anne Lister will help Ann Walker realize how deep are her feelings. At this point we are excited, we can’t wait to see how their next meeting is gonna go.

Now, keep this in mind: at this point nobody knows what Anne Lister is doing, not even Ann Walker. Only we, the lesbians audience, know what is happening. Nobody, nobody, knows what she’s doing and what are her intentions with Ann Walker. Nobody even knows that she has been visiting Ann Walker.

When Washington calls her you can tell that she’s absolutely surprised to meet someone while she is going back home from Crow Nest. The little look she gives us in that moment is a look of understanding. It’s like she’s telling us: “even if now, with Washington, the mood of the situation has to change and I have to act normal don’t forget what I just told you”. She wants us to linger in that exciting, flirty feeling you get when the first date with your crush goes incredibly well – She’s all dressed up, she’s feeling very confident and probably very flirty because of what happened with Ann Walker, and she looks at us like “oh, look at this man that has no idea about what the fuck I’m doing with the ladies, but you and I do know what is going on and I know that we both love it” – I mean, look at that mischievous smile! She takes pleasure in the situation, she takes pleasure in being surprised in that moment, after a successful meeting with Ann Walker, and she takes pleasure in the fact that she knows that what happened is a secret between us, a secret that we have to keep. That little look expresses all that and strengthens the relationship between us and her.

It’s like when you’re sitting in a cafe, talking with a very close friend about something really private and very exciting that happened to you, and an acquaintance comes close to say hello or something. You just stop talking because you have to pay attention to that new person but your mood doesn’t change immediately, just a second before you were in a completely different mindset but the situation requires you to pay attention to something/someone else now and so you give your friend an understanding look that can convey what you can’t say anymore.

Another thing worth noticing is that the look she gives us there doesn’t have a single trace of panic or worry. She wasn’t expecting to meet Washington (or anyone else for that matter), yes, but when it happens she has the situation completely under control, and she wants us to know that. And when Washington says: “I called at the hall.Twice. No one seemed to know where you were”, Anne shows us that she knows exactly how to handle the situation: she keeps her mouth shut.

Miss Walker! We thought you were in Scotland. I was. Well, well, well. How are you? I’m sorry to intrude. No, no, not at all. Please, sit down.

+ marian being marian: