innocence is killing me ;

There was a weight weighing Tyson down at this point and all he could think was that he desperately needed to get out of there. He needed to get away from Sebastian and away from the mess that his relationship had turned into. He needed a stiff drink and something that would make him forget his own name as well as Bash’s. “Enjoy the rest of your life,” he grumbled, rubbing his bruised knuckles as he exited the dressing room and tried his best not to fall apart as he went.

Eric watched the other man leave and shook his head, looking around for a tissue or something and finally finding a towel, kneeling next to the fallen man. He’d done this so many times it was rote now. Pressing the towel to his face, he sighed softly. “You’ll need to get that cleaned up. But I’m sure Cassie will find you sooner or later. Get that taken care of or it’ll get infected. And then your face will fall off and it’s your job so -- take care of it.” Standing up he stared down at the broken, bleeding man on the ground and shook his head. “You know... I would’ve loved you ‘til my dying day, Sebastian.” He shook his head. “I absolutely fucking worshipped you. You were my star. But I guess it just wasn’t enough. Goodbye, Bash.” He took one last look at the man before leaving, his body immediately collapsing into sobs as soon as he was in a safe place. He was alone.

tysonbradford:

Between the other boy’s outburst and Bash’s difficult confession, everything became abundantly clear to Tyson. He’d been in a relationship with someone who was seeing other people as well. And he’d kept it a secret from him. And now all Tyson could feel was that he’d been the world’s biggest idiot. He’d fallen in love with some guy who couldn’t even stay faithful to him. His blood was boiling. He was to scream, to cry, to throw things and let out all the emotions flooding through him in that moment. He settled for a small burst of violence, his fist colliding with the wall next to him in the middle of his furious pacing. A dent was left in the wall and he could see where his knuckles had busted and were bleeding but none of it registered. None of it felt any worse than the feeling of his heart being stomped on. “You love of us both? What the fuck, Sebastian? What the fuck kind of line is that - is that what you pull out when one person isn’t enough to keep your dick fucking satisfied?!”

The moment that Tyson punched the wall, Sebastian couldn’t help but flinch and step back just a little bit. It was reflex, honestly. But the words that followed honestly just hurt. “You think this is just about sex?!” he yelled back, pain bubbling in his stomach. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t upset. He was hurt. “Do you think that our entire relationship was a lie? Eric?” he looked down at the other male. “Do you think how I acted toward you was fake? ‘Cause it fucking wasn’t!” He looked back up at Tyson. “I do love both of you, and if you can’t fucking believe that because you think that all I care about is sex, then clearly you haven’t taken the time to get to know me the past four fucking months, Tyson!” He was breathing heavy, and his chest hurt, but he wasn’t done. “Have you seen the people that have thrown themselves at me? If this was about sex, then I would have fucked plenty of other people aside from you two, and I haven’t. If this was just about sex, I wouldn’t have stayed with you for four months.” He looked down at Eric. “If this was just about sex, then I wouldn’t have dated you and asked your permission before we did anything and made sure you were comfortable.” He swallowed and inhaled shakily–he could feel the tears coming but he wouldn’t cry, not yet. He lowered his voice, looking down at the ground. “If this was just about sex, I wouldn’t have told either of you I loved you.” 

Eric had stayed silent, well, besides for the occasional sob that had echoed through the space, barely heard because of the raised voices. “Four months.” Eric started laughing, and he didn’t seem to be able to stop. “FOUR MONTHS! Wow, Bash. You’ve been dating Tyson for four fucking months? And I was just your piece on the side.” He slowly stood up, wiping his face, shaking his head, another bitter laugh echoing from his lips. “This isn’t about sex, no, you’re right. This is about attention. You love attention, Sebastian, and you weren’t getting enough of it. So you sought someone else out, someone who would worship you and love you. You find a boy, you find an innocent fucking boy, you find me, and you let me fucking love you. Because you love to be loved. That’s what this is all about!” A deranged smile was on his lips and he laughed some more, the sound a bitter mockery of the joyful noise that usually left his lips when he was around the man. “You’re pathetic, Sebastian. Absolutely pathetic.” He flinched as he was saying it, and tears began to fall again, shaking his head. He turned to Tyson. “I’m so sorry. If I’d had known...” He turned back to Bash. “I... You’re sad. And I feel sorry for you. But I can’t. I can’t do this.”

As he looked at Bash, waiting for some kind of explanation, praying that there’d actually be some reason for this that wouldn’t leave him wrecked, he knew he wasn’t going to like this. There was no explanation being given, just a look of sadness and guilt in his eyes and all Tyson could think was how stupid he’d been. “I want you to say that this is some crazy random happening where this - this - this guy just threw himself at you and you couldn’t stop him. I want you to say that you aren’t fucking around with some little fucking fanboy twink behind my back. Tell me I didn’t just tell you I love you while you’re screwing me over with some other guy.”

“Is this... Is this some kind of fucking joke?” Eric didn’t raise his voice often -- in fact, practically never. But in this moment, he burst out, his heart breaking in his chest, stepping back from the pair of them, his back hitting the wall. “Please tell me this is some fucking elaborate joke or even a damn acting exercise.” He stared at the two of them, tears welling up, but anger clear on his face. “You just told me you loved me -- this has got to be bullshit. You don’t just tell me you love me after you take my virginity and then it turns out to be some fucking joke because you’ve actually been fucking a fucking celebrity behind my fucking back.” He couldn’t stop at this point. “Someone better fucking explain this really fast because no -- I’m not some little fucking fanboy twink --” He spat the word out. “And I didn’t throw myself at him. In fact, he was the one who kissed me. So what is the truth here? Because I sure as hell don’t know anymore. Clearly I don’t know anything. Because here I was actually thinking Sebastian Rossi could actually love me but I guess I was fucking wrong.” He finished his rant and then slid down the wall, his head in his hands, finally just breaking down and crying.

After the other morning, Tyson had been pretty much on cloud nine. Bash had told him he loved him - loved - and honestly he hadn’t been able to stop smiling. This was perfect. It didn’t even matter that they were still going to have to deal with the distance thing. They were in love and that was all that counted. So he decided to squeeze in as much time with his boyfriend as possible while he was still in town. After informing security that he wanted to see his boyfriend - and that he was indeed Bash’s boyfriend - he made his way back to the dressing room, not bothering to knock as he opened the door. “Surprise, baby. I know we didn’t have plans but I wanted to surprise you and-” He froze in the doorway at the sight of his boyfriend half naked and making out with some other guy rather eagerly. “What the fuck?”

Eric turned around at the sound of a voice and his mouth fell open. “Oh my god, Tyson Bradford?” He stared at the man, his excitement growing. “Wait, Bash, is this your friend? The one you were hanging out with the other night? You know Tyson Bradford? Holy crap, I was basically raised on your show, I was like obsessed with you, it’s sorta embarrassing.” He blushed slightly. “But oh! I’m Eric, hi, I, um.” He held out his hand to one of his biggest idols, nervous energy pouring out around the room.

“That was….?” Bash echoed, curious. He propped his head up with with his hand, gazing down at the other boy with a half-lidded, lazy smile on his face. It was pretty wonderful, he wasn’t going to lie. He was a bit nervous about taking Eric’s obvious virginity, but in the end he did it right. He wasn’t the first virgin he’d popped the cherry of, so at least he had a little bit of experience there. That, and, well, he remembered his own first time, and probably would have liked it to be a little bit more… comfortable. “Pretty good for your first adult sleepover?” he teased, reaching up with his left hand to trace lazy circles into the younger male’s chest.

“Incredible.” Eric murmured, staring at him, loving the lazy smile on his lips. God, he was so beautiful. “You’re so beautiful.” Oh fuck, he’d said that out loud, hadn’t he? Immediately he blushed a deep red, hiding his face in his hands. Leaning into the soft touches, he looked back up at the other, still slightly red. “Pretty fucking amazing, Bash. I, um... Thank you.” He whispered. He wanted to say ‘I love you’, but he didn’t want to ruin this. He didn’t want anything to ruin this. And even though he knew he meant it, he knew it was right -- it was too soon. Far too soon. But it might just slip out sooner or later.

Bash: You're okay, I should go actually pay attention to him though.

Bash: I'm looking forward to our sleepover tomorrow. :P

Eric: Okay!! Go have fun

Bash: Of course I am. ;)

Bash: Good to know, baby.

Eric: You idiot.

Eric: :)))

Bash: Never. ;)

Bash: Then I will. Does that mean I'm technically your favorite too?

Eric: You're the worst best ever. :)))

Eric: Shhhh.

Bash: Good. You're cute when you blush, angel face.

Bash: Well I will take that as the highest form of a compliment, then. ;)

Eric: alskjfskfj stoppppp.

Bash: Nah, just you.

Bash: Am I now?

Eric: You're making me blush.

Bash: You're perfect.

Bash: A classic. One of the best.

Eric: Pretty sure you're talking about yourself there, silly.

Bash: Yes, a full blown adult sleepover. Pack your pajamas you probably wont end up wearing and toothbrush, and bring your best pillow for pillow fights. ;)

Bash: Done and done.

Bash: I will. Don't eat too much ice cream, you'll get sick. :P

Eric: Heheheh I will. ;)

Eric: Brilliant! Can't wait!!!

Bash: It's okay, it's normal. I'm just glad you told me.

Bash: Well I'm with you, alright? I'll take you out tomorrow and you can come to my place this time. Maybe even have a sleepover.... O:

Bash: Yeah, haha, I will.

Eric: I'm glad I am too. I feel better now.

Eric: Okay. An adult sleepover? Ooh la la. ;)

Eric: Let's get sushi or something.

Bash: You're not being dumb...

Bash: I like you a lot too, Eric. Don't think I don't.

Eric: I've actually never been jealous before -- it's a really weird feeling.

Eric: I'm glad to hear it, I just... I feel all weird inside thinking about you with someone else.

Eric: And it's making me irrational.