They're at shane's parents and they're going through their family photo albums cause why won't you let me see baby you, what are you hiding hollander, were you ugly, is impossible, and shane gives in and ilya's obsessed, just dying at shane's baby freckled face, big eyes and rosy cheeks. and shane now gets it, cause he immediately realizes he really wants too see baby ilya too. was his hair this curly back then, was he a chubby baby or was he ripped at 3 years old already cause knowing him this man came out of the womb already perfect. he needs to see it. but he realizes it might not be an easy subject to approach, not when they're having a good time, not when ilya is laughing and making fun of the stylish outfits yuna put him into and, you had more style when you were 5 hollander, very embarassing for you. and ilya might not have many photos, possibly none at all. he doesn't wanna ask, he doesn't wanna bring the mood down but he needs to know cause he knows this is gonna keep him up at night if he doesn't ask so he very carefully does. and ilya goes, yes, back home. and then adds moscow. and shane's heart breaks for him. cause this man has lost everything, including something as small as photographs. so he makes it his mission to find some for ilya, to give some of his (hopefully) happy memories back.
He hits up svetlana, asks her, actually begs her, to find some photos of younger ilya, of irina, he's like imma take a flight to moscow myself if it means finding anything for him, he's a man on a mission and she helps. the next time she's in moscow she finds some of the two of them together at her house, she pulls shane-doesn't-even-know-what off to find some at ilya's actual family house too. there aren't that many, not many with ilya and his mum only but they'll do. she leaves behind all the ones with his dad and brother. she sends them to shane and shane spends all his free waking time putting together an album.
Ilya's birthday is approaching and he knows he might ruin it by giving it to him then but he's got a feeling he won't. the day arrives, all the planets align and they actually manage to spend it together. he waits until later in the evening in case it ruins everything and then the moment is there and shane is terrified, he's overthinking it, what if it brings up every single bad memory he's ever had, what if it just makes him sad, what if it ruins his day, his week, his month. what if he despises him for going behind his back, for contacting svetlana, for bringing it all up but also, what if it makes him happy. what if it gives something of his old life back. something good. I would be happy about that. so he pushes all these feelings down and just gives it to him and has to physically stop himself from running away.
They're sitting at a table and the moment ilya opens the album and sees his mum, he just gets big fat tears in his eyes and shane's like fuck, here we go. but ilya reaches out for him, takes his hand while he flips through the album in silence with the other. they just look at it together without saying a word and then
"You look so much like her"
"Are you calling me beautiful, Hollander"
"Yes, you are the most beautiful person I know"
That's a fact and the easiest thing he's ever said. and ilya gives him a small smile through the tears and shane just has to get up, hug him tight from behind and hook his chin on his shoulders to keep looking at the photos even if he knows them by heart by now. and then, to lighten up the mood, he starts making fun of baby ilya cause why are you dressed as a kangaroo for halloween??? and you want me to believe you're supposed to be a big scary russian??? I AM, uhuh sure. a kangaroo??? even if it's secretly the cutest shit shane has ever seen in his life and he just wants to make that photo his phone wallpaper even if he knows he can't. that hurts.
Ilya doesn't say anything and when he finally finishes flipping through the few pages he just says thank you in a thick voice. and shane holds him a little bit tighter and apologizes for making him crying on his birthday and ilya just says those are the happiest tears he's ever cried.
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