lee felix enjoyer and shane hollander understander

My low stakes heated rivalry headcanon is that Shane 100% had a brief cameo in Crazy Rich Asians. Like maybe he was on a poster or a billboard in the background, or they briefly show one of his commercials or post-game interviews where he’s all sweaty and handsome

❤️ shane manhandling ilya ❤️

It would be really funny if Ilya's bachelor party takes on mythic status because of his reputation, with tonnes of rumours and people saying there's nothing on social media because people had to sign NDAs, only for it to never have happened. Too many people joked about throwing him the wildest party ever and he spent the time in between the season ending and the wedding ducking and weaving plans because he was NOT jeopardising this! He is not waking up just before marrying Shane in another country, in jail, or drunkenly married to someone else! He just wants to marry the love of his life so bad he's not even waiting to order chairs, STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

shane listening to white noise while working out yes yes yada yada but also consider that shane's mind is constantly running ilya porn in the background. like one of the 24 tabs in his brain is always ilyahub and shane is very good at doing whatever he's doing while his brain is replaying what he and ilya did two weeks ago in extremely graphic detail. SO. anyway. let's all consider post-marriage shane that's now playing for the centaurs with his husband and said husband has maybe sent him an audio file the last time they had to be apart (the reason why is irrelevant here, let's just pretend ilya was visiting sveta in boston). and let's consider shane at the gym with his expensive, full noise-canceling headphones on, surrounded by his teammates as he's doing his bicep curls or RDLs or whatever, and listening to ilya fully moaning and whispering dirty talk in his ear with a completely straight face. let's just all consider that for a second

i need ilya to be the little spoon so bad. i need shane to be so curled up around him. i need him nuzzling into shane’s chest. i need his curls to be pet and played with. i need him tucked into shane’s neck. i need his back scratched. i need shane cooing in his ear. i need him to have so many soothing kisses. i need him to wake up so wrapped up and loved up, he forgets for a moment that he ever felt lonely.