lee felix enjoyer and shane hollander understander

the fact that i can watch on the package tracker as my package very slowly makes it way closer to my house is kinda cool. i'll give you that amazon. i hate your guts on like a moral level but i'll give you this one thing

i take it back it's stressing me out. HURRY UP. I NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE

hollanov would loveeeee being the bitchiest nosiest gossips this town has ever seen about skipdivorce. shane has a google alert for any and all related keywords. ilya is paying paparazzi to send him photos before they sell them to the tabloids. whenever a new article or photo drops they are spending 30 minutes minimum dissecting it and beating various dead horses. and then they fuck about it because they are the Number One Best Gay Hockey Couple and they Won

thinking kip uses scotts hockey money and influence to become curator of a really successful art gallery and has a very glowing profile in new york magazine or something. hes pretty well known among the well connected new york crowd and scott hunter obviously a public name so their divorce really makes waves. kip being so classy about it and is making no public comments except for a “please respect our privacy at this time” . meanwhile scott is on instagram posting the most cryptic messages over a black background and is spending a lot of time in the hamptons and a carousel of young twinks are seen coming and going all hours of the day from his westhampton rental and he probably catches a dui or public intoxication charge. the mugshot is really funny and ilya makes it his profile picture for 4 hours before yuna tells him its not tasteful and makes him change it back

I do love that we seem to be celebrating Hollanov's 5-year wedding anniversary by imagining Skip's divorce. Ilya would be so secretly proud. Stay messy, Hollanov nation.

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off