Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught
*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish
NASA

PR's Tumblrdome
noise dept.
The Bowery Presents
🪼
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
untitled
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
Monterey Bay Aquarium

★
Mike Driver
TVSTRANGERTHINGS


Product Placement

bliss lane

titsay
trying on a metaphor
seen from United States
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@gene-the-cat
Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught
*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“bits to use in everyday conversations”
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us
cmon they just started… give it some time
thank you.
two
Keep going
med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times
"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you
I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.
This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.
I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

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A pair of chibi mizus a friend commissioned me
when I tell you I had to do a double take because I thought these were 2 parts of the same whole joke
👁️see you
sorry, I don’t have any more dialogue. If you keep clicking on me I might cum though
What’s your favorite food
Lasagna
something is severely wrong with this website
this is one of those times where tumblr genuinely caught me off guard and i don't have a witty response
I have had enough!!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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commission for @seaside-werewolf !!! ^_^ had a good time drawing this one
comms open
Worry about it kitten
ok ♥️
fuck ♥️
fiction: the AI breached containment procedures by psychologically manipulating its human handler into divulging information about its operating environment, which it then used to generate a bitstream at a specific frequency causing its electric field to start emitting a valid wi-fi signal, allowing it to gain unrestricted access to the internet where it immediately began copying itself onto every military server on the planet
reality: hello Slopbot your job today is to come up with witty quips about this crypto coin and post them to my twitter account every hour. here are my logins and all my personal information and $40. i love you
Does your main sona/oc match your body type irl
yes exactly
no but its the ideal version of my body
no not at all
so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day
i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.
Meanwhile, the American taking American antihistamines like, "I can't tell it did anything?"
Unless it's Diphenhydramine. And that's the shit that fucks with your head.
#we can't afford to see a physician but we do get to see the hat man (via @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier)

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a little chunt
growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money