Na Na Na Na Na Na

It’s just been one of those days. Where I lay still and stare at the ceiling. Days where the minutes go by far too slowly and I find no warmth in the sunlight.

It’s just been the kind of day, where everything collapses, on top of each other and nothing feels quite right.

The kind of day, Where all I want to do, Is to forget everything and start over.

It’s just been the kind of day, where I feel lost, sad and lonely. Where I feel like apart of me is missing, and I ache for this feeling to go, so I can finally be happy, again.

This is how I always felt. This is why I spend every hour I can in the T*-REX office, planning T*-REX events, trying with every ounce of my being to create positive change for the trans community.

And then to have a fellow trans person throwing a workshop tell me my current decision not to pronoun is a privilege, end of story, is insulting and hurtful. My internal gender struggle to find a pronoun that even remotely suits me feels nothing like priviledge. Having my name be the only verbal identification used with me that I identify with seems the opposite. Practicing a language that does not allow for a pronoun that suits me as a human being is constant daily struggle. And to have someone respond with “that’s a privilege to do that” creates an unsafe space for some fellow trans people.

Even if I did have pronouns that suit me, outing myself to an entire group of strangers isn’t what I wanted to attend for. I wanted to learn and your response has kept me from doing so. So thank you and fuck you.