hope is a dangerous thing

Brew St. Cafe never failed to amaze Mason. He could sit there for minutes, to hours on end and just feel content. As a person who grew up hating the sound of silence, it was nice to have a place to sneak away to. 

He hadn’t always been a reader, but he had to do something to keep himself busy for five entire years. Turning the final page to end the current book he was reading, a small sigh escapes his lips, a feeling of pride as well as sadness going over him. It was always bittersweet to finish a story. 

Finally looking up, he locks eyes with…

Gemma usually did her best to leave people to enjoy their peace and relative quiet at Brew St. Cafe, but some days it was harder than others. Moreso when they were reading one of her favorite books. 

She hadn’t realized she’d been staring, but when Gemma’s eyes locked with Mason’s she felt a flush rise up in her cheeks. Rather than look away and try to hide her face, Gemma simply laughed and nodded towards the book. “It’s always rough finishing a good one, yeah?” A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. “Promise, I don’t usually make a habit of staring at strangers in coffee shops, but that’s one of my favorites.” Gemma pointed to the book Mason held in his hands.

“What’d you think of it, if you don’t mind me further interrupting your peaceful afternoon?”

Elijah observed Gemma as she seemed to be completely out of her element. Not that she wouldn’t be seen at a place like Sapphire, but that she just simply didn’t seem like herself at all. He had lived above the bar that she worked at for a while now. It would be impossible to not run into the employees of that place, both above and below, every now and then. Gemma was usually so full of life, something that could help put a smile on Elijah’s face if someone had done something stupid to fuck it up. But there was a small part of Eli that knew that ray of sunshine was dulled by recent events, and he couldn’t blame her for that.

“That’s what I’m here for. Forgetting about everything but my name is the goal, but the bartender inside didn’t agree with me.”

He looked back to the door behind him, wondering if he could sneak some more drinks by some other method or through a change of bartenders. The truth was, his best luck was to just go back home and start drinking from his own personal stash. At least that he didn’t have to pay for (any further) and no one would be cutting him off if he decided to break some things later in the night.

A small smile flashed across Gemma’s face as Eli spoke, a brow lifting upwards. “Didn’t agree with you, huh?” She took one last drag from her cigarette before tossing it to the ground and using the toe of her boot to put it out. Gemma knew better than to think it was a simple disagreement, but considering recent events, Elijah got a pass. She watched as he looked back to the door, no doubt trying to figure out a way to get more liquor. 

For as much sympathy as Gemma had for what Elijah was going through, she felt for the poor bartenders that had to deal with their shit, too. 

“Y’know, there’s a liquor store a few blocks that way,”She pointed southeast. “If you’re up for sharing, I can get us a handle and we can forget everything but our names however and where ever we like. No bartenders to disagree with, unless you pick a fight with yours truly. I promise not to cut you off if you do, though.” She held her arms out, her best attempt at a grin crinkling the corners of her eyes.

“And I appreciate you a lot for it,” she laughed. For whatever reason, Gemma had ended up being one of very few people in the city she had grown comfortable around. Though she had to think a lot of it was due to the woman’s kindness. She smiled and stepped up to the counter with the other woman. “Hi,” she said to the barista. “Can I get a small vanilla latte? And then whatever she wants.” Corinna gestured towards Gemma, allowing her to order. While she did that, Corinna pulled her wallet out from her bag, rifling through it for some cash. 

She shook her head and chuckled. “No, I guess you haven’t.” There was no doubt they’d look good at the wedding, but she did wonder how it would end up going. “And if it looks anything like their engagement party, it’ll probably be spectacular looking.” Corinna let out another laugh at Gemma’s antics. “You’re welcome. I’ll try to remember to be more appreciative in the future.” 

Gemma grinned over at Corinna and shook her head, “Your appreciation is appreciated.” And so was the fact that Corinna had taken to Gemma. She’d never had trouble making friends - it was the keeping them that Gemma struggled with her whole life. The fact that Corinna hadn’t moved on to more exciting pastures boded well for Gemma’s self confidence.

Stepping up with Corinna, Gemma ordered her iced cold brew with almond milk and two shots of espresso with a smile, pulling her own wallet out to tip the baristas a little something extra. 

Tilting her head, Gemma pretended to act hurt. “You guess?” She laughed. “Ye of little faith.” Letting out a soft scoff, Gemma nodded. “That ain’t no shit. Can you imagine growing up and events like that being normal? A wide grin swept over Gemma’s face and she laughed. “If you don’t, I promise to remind you.”

“I know right,” she laughed. “You could blink at someone the wrong way in this city and and start a ten year feud it’s ridiculous.” Maya tacked a stray hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear. “So any plans for the weekend?” she asked, as she stepped forward in the line, one step closer to her caffeine fix. “I heard there’s a rave on Saturday somewhere in River North.”

“I swear to God, I barely looked at a guy the other day and I’m pretty sure there’s a hit out on me now.” Gemma chuckled, obviously joking. Only just, though. Tensions in the city were clearly high, despite the impending wedding, and it was hard to avoid causing a spark even in the most neutral parts of town. “A rave?” Gemma stepped forward with Maya, careful to not take anyone else out with her bag. “I haven’t been to a rave in literal years. I’m sure I’ll still be recovering from this wedding, but that might actually be fun. Are you planning on going?”

Ben offered the woman a sympathetic look. She laughed, but it felt forced. She was walking around Chicago, bare foot, wearing a dress from an event that had ended in the gruesome death of a young, twenty-something year old bride. Ben was not there to cast out any sort of judgement on anyone. Despite not knowing the stranger before him, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility. He felt the need to get her to a safe destination.

“I was,” Ben finally said with a nod. Still, Ben wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole thing. There were some days when his moral compass was too set in its ways. Some of the tasks the Costellos assigned were questionable, at best, and Ben struggled with knowing he didn’t do very good things sometimes.

But, there was another side to Ben - a far more prominent one - that urged him to stay right where he was. Lola needed a good life. She needed a car, a prom dress, college tuition. Whatever she wanted. And it was that side of Ben that told him to be the perfect employee. Question nothing, do as your told, and - during times like this - help those who need it.

“Pretty fucked up.”

He sighed. The streets of Chicago were understandably empty. Everyone was in shock. 

“Were you heading anywhere in particular?” Ben wondered. “It’s late. People are likely out, looking for answers. I don’t know you, but I do know it’s something I personally don’t want to get mixed up in. Not tonight.”

“My car’s a few blocks that way. Or I can get you an Uber.” 

Gemma seriously needed to get her shit together. That sad, sympathetic look on Ben’s face was more than enough to make Gemma want to crawl under a rock. It wasn’t so much that she was embarrassed as she felt weak in this moment. Standing in front of a stranger and finally feeling the true weight of everything she’d seen that day was...not the greatest look. This life was gritty and violent and Gemma knew that, but finally seeing it? A whole other thing.

This poor guy just happened to be the unfortunately soul to stumble upon Gemma and her breakdown. 

“Understatement of the fucking century.” She let out a deep sigh, humorless chuckle escaping with it. 

Gemma shook her head, sniffling and blinking away the last traces of the tears that never fell. “Ah, well, kind of? I was supposed to be heading home, but I am apparently taking the long way?” She nodded, a small smile spreading over her lips. “Can’t fault you there. Tonight’s probably not the best night to be wandering aimlessly, huh?”

“Shot first. Kieran after.” Clinking her shot glass against Gemma’s, she tapped it down on the bar and threw it back. Grabbing a lime slice, she put it in her mouth. “I bailed him out of jail, he took me back to his place. And then he kissed me. And maybe I kissed him back, I just…I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Pouring another shot, she sighed. “He literally broke off our engagement and left me and now he’s kissing me.”

“Cheers!” Gemma followed suit, tapping her glass against the bar before tossing it back. Reaching for a lime, Gemma coughed, choking on both the bomb Cici just dropped and the shot. “Fuuuuuuuck, Cici.” She finally bit into the lime and shook her head. “I mean, kinda makes sense, but shit.”

Gemma set her shot glass down next to Cici’s to be refilled. “Have you guys talked since? You guys never really got any real closure after he broke things off, did you?”

Sighing, she gave Gemma a look. “Sorry…things are all…weird with Kieran and all of this drama is stressing me out.” Pulling out two shot glasses, she placed them on the bar and poured some tequila in them. “Shots are always helpful…”

Gemma raised a brow, “What happened with Kieran? And, seriously, it’s okay. I get the stress.” She finally made her way around to Cici and plucked a shot glass from the bar. “Shots it is, then.” With her free hand, Gemma grabbed a salt shaker and a bowl of limes. “Shall we?” She asked, holding her shot glass up to Cici.

“I don’t know, I think it’s just as much a shame that he wasted that attitude on a pretty face like you,” Jacob retorted without missing a beat, “Maybe that’s just a sign God doesn’t really know what he’s doing.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Gemma grinned, shrugging a shoulder. “This pretty face has been pretty good at getting me out of the trouble this attitude gets me into.” With a roll of her eyes, Gemma let out the first genuine laugh since starting this conversation. “That could be the first and only thing we’ll ever agree on.”

“Yeah, I’m not celebrating like Amanda Knox was when her roommate was murdered.” At least he was behaving appropriately. “Can I get a shot of honey whiskey?” Shiloh wasn’t even in the mood to mix shit together to have it tasting semi-good. He wanted the hard stuff. “You mind if I smoke?”

“Murder and cartwheels are, indeed, very questionable.” Even the idea of such a thing sent shivers down Gemma’s spine. “Of course.” She nodded, pulling the bottle from a shelf behind the bar and poured a heavy handed glass for Shiloh. “Not in the least. At least, as long as you promise not to tell anyone I’m also having a drink.” Gemma smirked, pulling out a second glass and pouring herself a drink. 

Elijah turned to see Gemma by the door he had just exited from. He hadn’t seen her inside, and she didn’t look like she was dressed up to be spending a night out at Sapphire, but he couldn’t think of any other reason she’d be around. Especially not with the events that had recently taken place. Apparently there was some gunman out there who didn’t mind taking down a full on member of the Sinclair family on her wedding day, so who’s to say they wouldn’t even think twice about taking down any of their loyalists.

Looking to the pack of cigarettes she held out to him, he reached out and took one, quickly pulling out the lighter he had with him at all times and lit the end of it. Taking a deep drag, he reveled in the feeling of nicotine entering his system again, then exhaled the puff of smoke upwards so as not to blow it in Gemma’s face.

He looked back to the young bar tender, honestly kind of relieved to be with someone who was probably going through the same thing he was. Confusion, anger, fear, resentment, sadness, determination. It was a potluck of emotions for him, and each one was fighting to be the prominent one felt. Well they’d have to take a backseat to the numbness he kept trying to layer on until he was given something to do. If there was someone he could beat up to make things better, he wanted to do it. Needed to do it.

Taking another drag from the offered cig, he nodded his head to the building behind him, still hearing the thumping of the music from inside.

“Come to forget too? Or were you just in the neighborhood?”

The beat from inside rumbled the wall behind Gemma, the vibrations oddly soothing against her back. Soothing as the repetitive vibrations were, it felt so wrong that the rest of the world carried on as if entire worlds hadn’t just been, quite literally, blown to shit.  

Everything was just so unbelievably fucked. 

Gemma took a long drag and shook her head. “Kind of just ended up here, honestly. Now I think trying to forget might be a half way decent idea?” She exhaled, the nicotine finally calming her shaky hands. “But fuck if I can handle that crowd in there.” Gemma flicked the ash off the end of her cigarette and scoffed. 

Under normal circumstances, Gemma was bright and friendly and the most sickeningly upbeat, people-person to grace the face of this Earth. Today, though? Today, that girl was nowhere to be found. Who was to say that sniper wasn’t in the club, waiting for as many Sinclair affiliates to show up as possible? Only to mow them all down in seconds. Gemma thought the fuck not, thank you very much. 

At the same time, the thought of being alone made Gemma nauseous. So, outside the club she remained, endlessly debating on going in or just going home. Neither of which sounded all too appealing. 

Morgan had essentially been in hiding since the wedding. Unable to cope with the fact that his daughter was dead, he had barricaded himself in his office with enough whiskey to kill a fraternity house. Finally letting Wyatt convince him to get out of the building, he sat on a bench at Burnham Park, facing Lake Michigan.

His left hand clutched a bottle inside of a paper bag, his right - a cigarette.

“What do you want?”

“Whew!” Gemma let out a low whistle, hands resting on her hips. “Bit of a loaded question, huh?” She’d been out for a run when she spotted Morgan’s familiar form sitting in the park and was still a bit winded. She really need to cut down on her smoking but, obviously not this very second as she was already pulling the cigarette pack from her leggings’ pocket. 

How ironic.

Plucking a cigarette and lighter from her mostly empty pack, Gemma sat at the other end of the bench - careful as to not invade Morgan’s space. “What I’d really like, though, is to make sure you know I’m here for anything you and your family needs.” She placed the cigarette between her lips and inhaled as she lit up. “I know I haven’t been around long but I owe you everything, so...” Gemma shrugged a shoulder as she exhaled, letting her sentence taper off. There was nothing she could say to make any of this better, so Gemma was determined to be as helpful as humanly possible. No matter what was asked of her.