a jucy blog now i freaking guess

i hate to say it but i think vibe coding is probably saving my ass and i'm a supporter...

lowkey i feel like s*m* kh*d*r* has GOT to be gay...like fr though

trying to rush through the ending of a meeting with my supervisor because I’m about to start crying heyyyy well at least I know all the best places to cry in this building

Idk I’m really struggling w the timeline rn…and also trying to riddle out what of “this is the time when you should be having this meeting” / “I’m going to be away for July and August so when do you expect to have it” / “don’t work on stats rn you’ll have to redo it all when you get your other set of data back anyways” / “why aren’t your stats more complete” / “this is informal” / “why didn’t you write this formally” can possibly be true. And at the end of the day it feels like I’m having this meeting to work around the schedule of redacted which isn’t their fault that their going on vacation but it’s not my fault either

Does anybody know how to do things? And also to get them done?

I’m doing really classic “delaying the arrival of tomorrow” things rn

Realistic scenario: thyroid fine. Iron at like deficiency possible if symptoms present levels. I can’t even get an infusion. I continue to live like this.

ideal scenario: bloodwork back. Under active thyroid. Doctor says wow I can’t believe you’ve been living like this. You should be 430 pounds with this level of TSH. and also have not been able to get out of bed. The fact that you are functioning as is means that when we give you one time magic pill you will have thick luscious hair be able to run forever and be 120 pounds while eating everything all the time.

preface to say I love my mother but she lives in the past so hard and has debilitating adhd but also absolutely no acceptance of that or ability to like create structures. And it’s exhausting to be around. Like I am so stressed about her not having a job and I’m sure she could get one she just doesn’t have the organization and awareness of how she moves through the world to find one. Good god

Like I think that just is going to be my best singular day ever perhaps at the rate that I am so not getting married

(3mg of edibles in) I can’t believe Julien literally spotted me within the entire crowd when she was backstage and then LITERALLY FOR SURE smiled at MEEEEE and then phoebe spent so much time looking at me in the crowd during the concert that she decided to sit with me and face only me* and sing down to me while I accidentally and inappropriately groped her

Man I should have never said anything to that bitch and I should have never let him get back into my life without passing my riddles three!!!! Lmao

PISSED OFF. BLOOP.

ok I think I have to really admit to myself that I don’t really dream of a fulfilling job or having a meaningful career I basically just want to have a mindless and unimportant middle management job that makes me money so I have time and energy at the end of the day to go home and do my hobbies. And then retire

at least the del water gap will hit to its full extent

well not to be cynical but you want everything until I start reciprocating then you get icked out and ghost because you hate yourself. Like I don’t know what I expected LOL