certified kindergartener

did peridot kidnap lars? sure. but it’s not as if he gave much resistance! and now he’s waking up, though peridot doesn’t notice for a while. she has been preparing her finger-screen, ready to take notes on any of the information she is going to get out of lars. and she will get information. the human steven did mention his name, after all, so he has to know something.

“ oh-! ”     turns now, acting as if she had almost forgotten he was even there. screen moves with her as she takes a clanging step forward, then bending down to match his height. she has his wrists tied; the knot is loose, but she doesn’t really think he will be able to escape.     “ if you ever want to see your... ‘donuts’ again, you will answer my questions! ”

“ i just need more time, my diamond. ”     tries not to show any hesitancy ( fear? ) as she looks up at yellow diamond. peridot has never been this... close before. of course she has always wanted to meet yellow diamond ( who hasn’t?! ) but not like this. not because of a failed mission. this is the one time peridot would prefer her instructions to come from another gem rather than directly from her diamond.     “ everything is nearly complete. we’ve just met some... bumps that can easily be smoothed over. ”

“ i’m sorry but- ”     they're not sorry.     “ shooting arrows is not very impressive. anyone with a bow and a bit of mathematical knowledge could do it. ”     thea possesses no real powers, or at least none that peridot would consider to be anything more than mere talent.     “ further, it is far less effective than, say, a gun. why don’t you just shoot bad guys with a gun? i’m sure it carries just as many legal ramifications as shooting people with arrows does! ”

“ as you can clearly see, amethyst-! ”     a big grin matches excited voice as peridot gestures behind her to lion, who is fast asleep curled around a half-eaten fish.     “ i have gained complete and utter control over steven’s ‘pet.’ anything i will, lion carries out. ”     obviously she demanded that lion go to sleep. he wouldn’t be sleeping otherwise!     “ using this method, i could move on to more complex creatures and eventually- to HUMANS! and- ”     leans in real close and whispers now.     “ i’ll let you help me. but you can’t tell anyone! this is just between you and me, kapoche? ”

“ are you ... alright? ”     NOT that peridot cares. this pearl is p e r f e c t; quiet enough to not push peridot’s patience, and distant enough for peridot to almost forget she is there... just watching. perhaps peridot shouldn’t have said anything but... well, the pearl’s entire demeanor is DISCONCERTING. maybe it is because peridot isn’t used to such obedient pearls ( most are defective in one way or another ), but even peridot can’t help but feel worried ( is that the word? it’s not really concern. curiosity, perhaps? discomfort? ) about white pearl. whatever the reason, it is taking her focus away from her incredibly important work.     “ i’m almost done. i don’t require anymore assistance. ”

“ you’ll never get me to talk. ”     peridot doesn’t seem to consider the fact that a wall is between her and rose quartz as she speaks, her words coming out as nothing more than muffled grievances. it’s not like she would care if she did notice; rose quartz doesn’t need to hear her! all peridot has to do is get the point across that no matter what anyone says or does, she isn’t giving up ANY of her incredibly valuable information.     “ especially-! ”     she adds, now speaking louder with a dramatic pause between words,     “ not to a traitorous, murderous CLOD like YOU! ”

“ why aren’t you asleep? ”     a hiss, almost, as peridot turns to connie. it isn’t anger in her eyes, really, but more concern. concern that manifests in peridot stomping toward connie, fussing over her as she grabs her by the shoulders and forces her to turn back toward the bedroom.     “ according to your natural circadian rhythm, you need to be asleep right now to get the optimal amount of rest. ”     or perhaps connie only needs half as much sleep -- being part diamond and all -- but peridot isn’t willing to risk it. she was the one tasked with watching over connie, after all, and from all the reading she has done peridot has easily come to the conclusion that it is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS for a human ( part or otherwise ) to get less than the recommended seven-to-ten hours of sleep!     “ you are disturbing your natural cycle! ”

“ it’s just not fair, lapis. ”     words are drawn out as if peridot is heavily sighing with each one as she lays on the floor of the barn. refusing to make eye contact with lapis, she eventually just closes her eyes. then, as if finding new energy, she quickly sits up and near-shouts,     “ why would percy and pierre split up? it doesn’t make sense! ”     voice has reached a new pitch now.     “ they were the superior pair and now- and now they’re NOTHING, lapis! ”

peridot does not like dealing with pearls. of course, she forces a bit more respect toward the pearl of a DIAMOND, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be nice. it’s not like she owes anything to a pearl; any ‘kindness’ ( kindness only meaning a lack of hostility ) shown by peridot to yellow pearl is only out of reverence for her diamond.

a glance over, then back at her screen. shoulders hunched and body lowered as if in an attempt to hide what she is looking at, peridot can’t help but redirect her attention to pearl every few moments. and, finally-     “ could you not... stand there. it’s incredibly distracting. ”

“ step aside, bigger steven. i can handle this. ”     greg doesn’t really have a choice as peridot pushes him out of the way, grabbing a hose off the ground and aiming it at the vehicle greg had been working on.     “ as i’m sure you know- ”     a glance at the car-wash’s sign. sure, she had to do with the previous one’s destruction, but this sign is way better anyways!     “ the car wash was a hit when you were abducted by blue diamond and taken to space against your will. i am obviously the SUPERIOR vehicle-cleaner. ”