First Day Back (Lila x Female Reader Highschool AU)
Ok so for context I read an amazing x reader highschool AU thing from a show like but which fandom I rarely participate in and I don't have much interest in now (It was a fic called Ember from the Breaking Bad fandom). And it inspired me to do this simply because of the lack of Lila x Reader and f/f content for Spooky Month in general. So I decided I'm going to write a multi chapter fic for it on AO3. But motivation was lacking for a long time until recently. So I decided to go ahead and post the first and so far only finished chapter here to see if I should keep going or not. Anyways, that's about it.
TW: Period Typical Homophobia, mentions of violence, OCs and teen angst. Plus Y/N has a bit of a character but not enough to be like OC coded.
It was the beginning of senior year, your last day in high school as a matter of fact. And you didn't know whether to feel pissed or happy that it was your last year here. You were happy because you hated this place. For some reason THIS whole school drove you mad, and you didn't like anyone that much here besides a very select few people. You were going to celebrate graduation as the death of an era of pain, sadness and regret. A death of some Hell that you would be glad to forget about anytime of the week.
But you were pissed though because in a way, high school was the only thing you truly had that made you feel less empty. Sure, you had a decent life in Spooky Town, your parents were good and treated you as well as they could, and even though you knew they would never understand you completely, you were middle class and didn't have to deal with much. Overall you had it well for your life so far. But you also felt empty. Like really empty, you felt like you lacked any sort of true purpose in life, one that truly represents you as well… you. And despite the fact that you were a girl who hated the absolute shit out of high school and a lot of things about it. You did extremely well, even at subjects you were not good at you still somehow got an B at least. You were not popular but you were one of the best students Spooky Town offered. You could go to any college you asked for. Yet you didn't feel like wanting to go or even having the will too. Which was strange, but you felt that way anyhow.
You thought you were going to be worthless after this year. And honestly… you didn't know where to go besides maybe college. Even then you were not sure if it would feel like high school again or not. You didn't want to find out.
Tonight was the last night before school started. You sat on the bed, feeling hopeless as you looked out at the dark night sky. You're currently looking at the neighbors next door, who were pretty friendly but never talked to you or your parents much. You saw one of the other popular girls, one with purple hair reading something. Looks like some magazine, but you didn't know. She then turned off the lights while watching TV, probably falling asleep soon after. Her parents must be chill, you thought, my parents would never want me to have a one playing in my room if they even allowed me to have one, which they don't. Kind of fair but still sucks either way.
You just stared for another moment before looking away with a sigh. You couldn't stop but stare for a little bit. But not much because you felt like a creep when you looked at the window too much. A lot of quiet but interesting things happened in that house. A lot of things your parents told you not to think about or associate with. Like the horror movies or the fact that one of the other popular girls like Jaune or Carmen show up to do things you were never interested in. Maybe it was because you were not too girly and didn't want to cause a fuss.
You already had enough of that when you came out to your parents that you liked girls and girls only.
But still, as you lay on your back and almost tear up thinking about that one Radiohead song playing in your head as you look up at the ceiling. You kind of wished you were less of a reluctant rule follower and more like them, hoped that people like you or your friend Jack (the only non straight guy you know of that wasn't crazy like that one kid who gave teachers stunners like Stone Cold) would be liked and not judged because of who they were. You wished you were like that girl who was nice and had natural purple hair (you just assumed it was). You wished a million things as you pulled up the sheets over yourself.
You checked the clock, it read that it was midnight. You then sighed and went to bed without your brain shutting up. Like all the other countless nights after you looked at the purple haired girl in the house next to you, you just passed out and had the most un-restful sleep anyone could have asked for. Not even a dream, just you seeing pitch black after a feeling of doom and loneliness stabbing your back yet again for the past five years. Just waiting for the cycle to continue with another state of mental torment made by you and your choices that you made in this dreadful situation you were in. At least mentally.
At least you hoped that tomorrow would be different and that maybe… just maybe things could get better. At least a little bit, maybe you'll be as good as the girl in purple hair. Just maybe.
The next day you woke up at around six AM with a blaring alarm. You immediately sit up and stretch before getting up and looking around your small but fairly cozy bedroom, appreciating the quiet moment before turning the alarm off and getting up. You didn't have any motivation on getting up from bed, you just… kind of did this on instinct by this point.
You go and do the usual routine, you make your bed, do everything you need to do at the bathroom and change into some cargo pants, a tee shirt and a hoodie (as it was pretty cold and wet outside). You then went downstairs, ate a simple breakfast of some yogurt and granola bar, packed your stuff, brought a book in your hand and then went to the bus stop and got picked up at around a surprising 6:35 in the morning with some feeling of existential dread and that you were going to probably be dealing with a lot of the same judgmental and/or weird people in school like always. You hoped you'd see Jack sometime at school as well. Granted you and him didn't have much time to hangout due to how schedules worked out plus his other friends and parents.
The bus ride lasted for about 25 to 30 minutes. It was enough time for you to just go and have your mind wander off or to get some reading done. It was a moment of peace and even if that peace was probably short. You appreciated not having to worry about anything for a bit and let yourself daydream or read some novel chapters or a couple of short stories to ease your mind. Unfortunately you don't check on the time much and as soon as you got in and read a couple of chapters of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy the bus was already at school and students were walking out. You followed them and soon you were off.
You thought you were an outcast as you got out of the bus and walked in the high school. The rain poured on your hoodie as you slowly walked over to the main school entrance. You looked for your goofy journalist friend Jack, unfortunately he wasn't anywhere near the place. Probably hanging out with John or Ben, maybe even Frank for all you know, you thought. You sighed and grumbled, rolling your eyes and feeling alone, like always.
You didn't know why you felt this way besides maybe the fact you came out as lesbian a few years ago during freshman year. Because ever since then everyone seemed to stare at you with a look that wasn't anything but positive. You were even called slurs by a couple of people just because of it when you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes you felt like the only reason why people didn't beat you up for it was because Ben (the local crazy kid who was also one of the top students academically) openly admitted he was bi and beat the shit out of anyone who said a single bigoted remark regardless of who it was. He was also the reason why metal folding chairs and baseball bats were banned from the school entirely and why the school no longer had a baseball team. He was a help but also only made people more afraid and resentful against queer people unless they're queer themselves.
The looks somehow managed to become less when you were in junior year, but they still were there and you were aware of them. You tried to ignore them, as even if no one wanted to be openly queer in the late-90s to early 2000s. You didn't want to go around thinking that you're some victim. Because even if you did have issues, you thought it was wrong to feel helpless all the time. You didn't want to be helpless, you wanted to be better and have a brighter future.
You walk into the school soon after, you do the same thing as you always did around these parts. You said hi to Jack who you found with John and Ben all studying some sort of thing for a history class. They were doing fine, Jack was still feeling pretty nervous about it though and you had to give him some reminders and encouragement, which he thanked with a nod and a thumbs up. You nodded as well.
“I'll probably buy us donuts Friday then if we don't mess this up,” Jack said, much to the agreement of Ben and John. “Thanks for just sticking around and being there for me Y/N, I'm not sure where I'd be without you,”
“Don't mention it, I appreciate your company too,” you replied before walking away. “Make sure you tell Miss Erotoph I said hi!”
“I definitely will!” He said with a smile. Damn, Jack was an amazing friend. “Hope I see you at lunch or after school!”
You then went over and checked your locker before closing it and going to your first three periods uninterrupted and not bothered by anyone in particular. Just doing the same as you always did, just studying and being successful at whatever the teachers gave you. It wasn't the thing you enjoyed but it was predictable and that's all you really wanted from that. You then went to lunch right before Fourth period and then realized how much time passed by when all you did was just… working on schoolwork and going to your locker to check on stuff and get some fresh air on things. Either way you were glad it was time for food. You were hungry and even though you were not a fan of the school lunches, you tolerated the pizza enough to consume it. So you got that with some chocolate milk and then went over to some random steps and began eating there. Hoping that you didn't bother anyone and that people left you alone and only looked at you at most.
You were looking around, there was still NO sign of Jack or his friends. And there wasn't anyone who tried to bother you in any way so far. No one even looked at you or thought about you. That was until you nearly jumped when you saw something you didn't expect. The purple haired girl and one of her friends showed up and approached you carefully and calmly.
You kept yourself a little composed. But also a little worried because despite the fact you barely talked to her. You knew her quite well, especially with the same fancy purple winter jacket she always wore when it was cold and rainy outside.
Her name was Lila, you've never really talked to her before. You only really chatted with her parents once or twice. She was the overall known perfect girl in every way it seemed who had a more nerdy side to her. She was well known all around the school and was almost every boy's crush if they shared the same grade as her. She was extremely pretty, one of the top students in school and well liked by pretty much everyone. You only really interacted with her best friend and fellow popular girl, Jaune before. Who was a kind and sweet blonde who was also kind of aggressive and… let's just say not as smart as you or Lila and needed help from the likes of Lila, Richard or even Ben for homework. Especially if it's math. You tried helping her once before and it didn't go well for either of you.
Lila didn't really speak to you that much simply because she seemed to not have the time to do so. She always seemed to kind of focus on her thing while you did yours. But even while the whole lesbian thing was happening she always looked at you or gave you a wink or a nod. She knew you were around at least. You even shared the last two class periods with her. Sometimes she stares at you when she's done with work, wondering about something. You didn't know if it was related to you or something else that was going through her mind.
You didn't really blame Lila for not talking with you. You and her were extremely different, sure you were kind of a golden child but had been resentful of anything and everything relating to it and high school while Lila was the same and thrived in such an environment. You two didn't seem like you'd ever interact with each other directly. Just two girls with good grades but fundamentally different goals and mindsets all together. Plus Lila didn't seem as hopeless as you were.
So it was strange when she openly went over to you and looked down into your eyes before asking, “Hey, are you Y/N?” While Jaune waved at you with a smile.
You bookmarked the page you were on for your novel and closed it before putting it next to your lap as you looked up at her. You raised an eyebrow at Jaune before you got up and nodded. Jaune kind of frowned but smiled as you began to speak.
“Yeah, I'm Y/N,” you said calmly. “And I'm assuming you're Lila right?”
Lila nodded and smiled before offering your hand to shake. You accepted it almost impulsively, which made you extremely shocked. You gave yourself goosebumps almost as Lila smiled at you and shook it gently before letting go.
“Yeah I am! I've heard so much about you!” Lila said. “Jaune along with Jack and John and Ben have told me so much about you! And since I live next door and haven't spoken to much I thought I might change that,”
You were pretty damn shocked. You gave the slightly scared Jaune a judgmental look for a second, she just shrugged and said, “Hey, I just wanted to share with people how cool you are. I thought the way people treated you because you were lesbian was unfair. So I decided to talk to my friends about it. Also Jack and John told me so much too, and since you lived next to Lila, it made sense y'know?!”
You didn't like it but she had a point… somehow. You then turned to Lila.
“What?! You know of my friends and talked to them?!” You asked her. “How?! They're not anywhere near popular though and not that friendly last time I checked,”
Lila gasped a little bit at the shock of a response you did, but she wasn't shocked for long. As she then decided to go and continue speaking in a calm tone.
“Oh, I try to be at least on good terms with everyone here,” Lila said as she did a rather surprising gesture with her hands. That made you almost blush. For some reason you couldn't help but find her oddly endearing just for that. “I'm friends with Jack in some way, same goes for the others. Especially Ben. Anyways, I would like to tell you that I want to at least be on good terms with you as well. I don't know why but I really admire what you do here, I see you around sometimes and the house nearby doing work as well. I thought maybe we could… hang out sometime if you want? That's only if you want to of course, I know I have a large friend group and sometimes they can be a little crazy… but I promise I'll try to make it worth your while, and hopefully make it so it's just you and me, if that's alright,”
She nervously chuckled afterwards, feeling a little awkward. I mean… this was the first and most direct conversation you two have had in your lives.
Also, not only was she also staring at you doing stuff on your home sometimes from her house. She also wanted to hang out with you?! Like she wanted to be around you? You blinked awkwardly for a bit before just nodding and rubbing your hair awkwardly.
“Honestly, sure, I'll consider it,” you said, having a little smile on your face. “I'm not sure if it should be now because well… I have things to do and my parents are expecting me home today because I ain't going out with anyone at the moment,”
“Great!” Lila said as Jaune traded glances between you and Lila like there would be something going on between you two in the future. That made you frown a little bit. “I'll give you some time and I'll talk to my parents about how interesting and kind you are, you seem really nice to talk to. I think I should probably leave you alone now because you're busy eating and reading Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Read that last year and just got immediately obsessed with the rest of the series. I'll see you at fifth and sixth period,”
You got a wave goodbye from both of them as they walked away to talk to some other students. You on the other hand just decided to sit there, finish the rest of your food and continue to read your novel. But despite that you had an extremely hard time paying attention to it at all. Even thinking about it was hard.
The rest of lunch and the school day ended in a total boring blur that dragged on your mind way too much. You didn't have a chance to speak to Jack and his friends until right before you had to go to the bus. As the day went by you couldn't help but think about Lila all the time. It would be immense hell if you somehow gained a crush on the woman, even though that's what it's starting to feel like. Something along those lines, as she really did, suddenly makes you have some sort of attachment towards her. You wanted to hang out with her in some way. It didn't help that Lila felt so close to you yet so distant at the same time. The mix of familiarity and mysteriousness had got you in some sort of hook that you were never going to get out of.
Your parents didn't ban you from meeting Lila, they even tried making you talk to her once in fifth grade. But they did ban you from going to her place unless they came too. Which was strange because it was so random. They never gave a good reason either besides being in the house would be a bad influence or something. Which definitely made no sense. You appreciated what your parents had done for you, you couldn't go against them for that. But you really didn't like how they treated you like a child or someone who couldn't form their own identity unless it was on education or anything that was systematic.
Once you got inside the bus. You teared up in a few minutes of the bus ride home and hid it from everyone. You didn't say or read a word until you went home, you stopped having your eyes well up in warm eye water once the bus stopped. But you still felt kind of miserable. As you got up with your back and novel before walking down the alley.
The bus dropped you off at around 2:30 PM, as soon as you got out and walked all the way back to home. Once you were home, you went inside and did all the chores you needed to do for at least two days but have been procrastinating around as soon as possible. You spent your time just cleaning up your room followed by tossing the trash and then some laundry. Once after all of that was done you simply collapsed on bed and sighed, closing your eyes and yawning. You felt extremely warm out so far. Thank goodness you had enough time to get studying and homework done before the bus due to your free time. Maybe that's why you were so tired.
You didn't look outside to see what Lila was doing tonight. You just couldn't. You felt more wrong doing so now, and since you were probably going to be around her more. You didn't know why you decided to do it in the first place. The loneliness set its ugly head back in again as you looked around and listened to music on your CD player with some earbuds you saved for home use only. Your thoughts filled with what would happen next in your life before your mom called you in for dinner.
You didn't say anything as you pulled your earbuds out of your ears, paused the music and then just got upstairs and went down to eat another meal with your parents. You just go down and eat the food as soon as you go into the kitchen and sit down with your parents waiting for you already on the table. You don't say much, you just go and eat.
Your father starts a conversation. “So… are you thinking of applying to a college yet? It's going to be prime time for it at about spring but doing it early would be an amazing choice,”
“No, I'm not even sure what I want to do yet,” you replied bluntly. Which made your Dad just sit there in awkward silence. He's been like that ever since you came out. He asks you a question and then when you say something he doesn't expect or like. He just stays there in awkward silence.
Your Mom tries to say something, probably like “You will figure it out soon thanks to that 4.0 GPA you have” or something. But she doesn't once she realizes you're not in the mood to talk. You were never in the mood to speak unless it was something important like school or rule changes. The rest of the meal was just some blur, that's how all nights are with your parents. You and them feel disconnected yet somehow still able to be in the same house. It felt incredibly strange. You and them don't say much or even hang out anymore. And it only happened after you came out for some reason.
After dinner they go upstairs and leave you for a little bit. You do all the dishes from the day and start it before grabbing your novel and finishing five chapters in an hour and a half. Nothing odd happens for a while now until you hear a knocking from the door. That's odd, normally that didn't happen at this time of day. Either way you immediately got up afterwards and walked in quiet footsteps. You then gently opened the door to not see anyone in particular in front of you, granted you swear you see a tall feminine like figure run off into the other house. You immediately thought that was Lila. You then looked down and almost gasped as you saw what was left there.
You saw a large plate of cookies left on there, all baked in similar shapes and sizes. They're all wrapped in plastic food wrap and it had a note on it with the most high quality handwriting you've ever seen. You immediately take in your hands, bring it inside and close and lock the door behind you. You then went over to the kitchen and read the note on it, which confirmed your suspicions.
“I know that you couldn't hang out. Which is fine, we did just meet after all. But I wanted to do something hospitable for you since you gave me some of your time. So I spent my time baking these for you, I hope you like them. I was making a lot of things for my parents too. So I just thought it would be nice that I made something for you and your family too. I hope they're sweet and delicious for you. Just remember, whatever time you want to hang out is totally fine with me. I'll always be there, just tell me first. For now I'll see you at school tomorrow, from Lila.”
You were completely speechless. That was the sweetest thing that anyone has done for you so far. You reread it a couple of times before you just put the note in your pocket. You held it to your chest for a little bit before you just put it in your pocket and went upstairs, but not before getting your book and turning all the lights off before you went. You decided that you were not going to eat them tonight. You'll start doing that tomorrow. For now you just decided to go back to your bedroom.
As soon as you get into the bedroom, you immediately collapse and put the note on the table next to you. You then stretched, yawned and then closed your eyes, feeling so surprised and shocked that Lila was even interacting with you in the first place. It felt odd, really, really odd. But it also felt… nice in a way?! You couldn't help but feel a little better after all of that.
As soon as you went to sleep as well, you just thought maybe. Just MAYBE… that this was the beginning of something that will change your life forever, same with Lila's. But honestly, who knew?! You only knew you had one Hell of a story to tell Jack and the rest of your friends tomorrow.
