here's my dick for gratiturity

“I didn’t say you weren’t having fun. I just want you to be having fun, that’s all i really fucking care about.” His hands fell to grip her waist. “I was always an asshole, Val. You know this. Even in fucking high school. I was a damn nightmare then. I was the art kid with a bunch of fucking friends that thought I was cool ‘cause I fucked with people. Also known as a bully. See? Asshole. Yeah, you’re one of a kind, Valencia Alves.”

He lifted his hands to rest them in her hair. “You could get slightly buzzed and it’ll be really fucking cute. Then I’ll be forced to carry your ass home, but it’d be worth it if you’re at least having some fucking fun. Yeah, you kinda were. I was just always an extra fucking asshole. But hey, if that’s all I need to fucking do then I can for sure do that.”

He was sure they were moving too slow for the song that was playing, but he was perfectly fine with just holding her in his arms. “Getting shit faced is never fun. But you can get a little drunk and it’ll be fucking fun. Even if you’re a married woman now. I’m sure you will be. Makes it really fucking easy to impress you.”

“You can still get drunk if you want to. I ain’t gonna fucking stop you if you want to. The key word is might.”

“No, but if you don’t get too fucking drunk, then maybe I’ll plan something special for you.”

“Well, come the fuck on then. We don’t got all night. It’s only Thursday.”

“As if you don’t fucking love me anyway.”

“Well, I get real fucking angry when I drink so I prefer to have some control over my actions. You can get wasted to your little heart’s content though. I’ll be there to take care of your hungover ass in the morning. Yes, really. I will fucking dance with you.”

“Dance? Spend money? Fuck. Do I have to pay for all the drinks? I ain’t get a paycheck this week. Mostly ‘cause I didn’t make any shit for the gallery, but still. I’m broke as fuck right now. Then again, I am married. Mi casa es su casa and shit. Actually, nah, I’m just fucking with you. I don’t gotta drink. I’ll dance with you though.”

“How the fuck did you talk me into this? Bars I can handle. Clubs are an entirely different thing.”

“I do know. ‘Cause you do that fucking face every time you are. I like fighting though. It leads to some pretty great fucking. I don’t ‘bitch’. I complain. Very fucking aggressively.”

“Well, you have a face. It’s a cute face, but I don’t fucking like it because it means you’re either upset with what I had to say or you think I’m being really fucking stupid. A lot to handle? That’s real fucking subtle. Yeah, I guess people fucking suck.”

“That fucking face you do every time you don’t agree with what I have to say. Yeah, of course you fucking think that, but it’s not true. Or it only lasts for a really short fucking time. I know you do.”

“Don’t fucking give me that face. You know damn well nobody fucking likes me. Don’t act like they do because you fucking love me.”

“When I don’t have a fucking criminal record maybe. And since that’s not fucking happening, I’ll go with never.”

“Well, you did. Not me. Nobody fucking likes me for them to care.”

“Yeah, what the fuck to that, right?”