Pain Is An Illusion

-Mark tries to imagine the three - or four - of them together. Evan, Josh, Madame Pain and himself, back in business… It’s… a rather charming thought. Still he’s not completely convinced. Is it the right thing to do…? Involving the kid…? Think about that later.-

Ah think th’ lightnin’ eyes cancelled tha’ out from th’ start, ah’m jus’ sayin’. -There’s a playfulness in his tone now that Mark seems to have taken that fine. Which is excellent for Evan, he’s jazzed.-

Wouldn’ tha’ be a sight, th’ three’o us rollin’ in, kickin’ arse an’ takin’ names~ -And now he’s daydreaming.-

Let’s see if we can get those things and dress her in it.

Jus’ a general wish, really. Got tha’ itch, yeh ken? Tha’ an’ ah may’r may nae’ve run inta yer kid yesterday. No proof ah influenced his decisions’r anythin’, but it seems th’ apple didn’ fall all tha’ far from th’ tree if yeh get m’ meanin’. Speakin’o sidekicks an’ all.

An’ t’ think ah couldn’ imagine tha’ thin’ bein’ any more scary than she already was...

said: are you pregnant

gaptoothedprince said: Oh?

You are not feeding baby turtles to that monstrous crab in front of me Evan. No. I will not allow it. I do wanna see it eat a peach though so feed it that. Just no. Baby. Turtles. Allowed.

[He bows and smirks at Evan, grinning up at him proudly]

[He’s gonna give you a sad put like look about the sea turtles.] Don’t feed it sea turtles. What have the turtles ever done to you Evan? Feed it the none living things I mentioned cause no you will not feed it baby turtles.

I don’t mind at all. [He holds his hands out, palms up as he takes a few deep breaths. Call it jazz hands all you like, he’s gonna deny it all the same. His eyes start to glow yellow and spark with lightning as he summons a rain cloud above them, making it rain around them so that they don’t get wet. He clenches one hand into a fist and summons a few lightning strikes as his eyes continue to spark. He slowly starts to get rid of the storm cloud and finally his eyes go back to normal and he’s just grinning at the Scotsman in front of him.]

Oooo but haven’t yeh heard th’ horrors o’ th’ evil baby sea turtles~!  -He attempts to effect a menacing b-rate horror narrative but it’s undercut by his own failed attempts not to laugh flat out from the kid’s sullen looks. Between that and his own silly mood the ominous vibe flops.-  Mebbe ah’ll save th’ turtle feedin’ fer yer visit~ if they didn’ sound so bloody difficult t’ acquire tha’ is.

-Oh, but hush, it’s starting. Exactly what he had been hoping to see when he’d heard Mardon’s kid had resurfaced and it’s all just as spectacular as he’d hoped. The kid’s got amazing control for his age, unsurprisingly considering they’ve been a part of him from the start. To see that small whiny thing with so much potential now grown into his gifts paints a sharks smile on the Scot’s face, all teeth and mirth. Yet again, though he’s undercut as his hair turns into a tiny brown sheep from the moisture and static, leaving him looking like a wild man.-

[You’re getting a snort like laugh on the Kraken comment] Yeah souls of the living aren’t on the crabs list of food. [He’s gonna pull out his phone and look at what coconut crabs eat for you. Don’t worry Evan, Josh is here to save you] Okay so the crabs apparently eat fruit and seeds. Sometimes other crabs and….and awww nooo little baby sea turtles. The poor babies. Nothing here on eating people. Though it does say that the claws can cause noticeable pain for humans and that they keep a grip on you for a long time. So…Yeah stay away from the claws.

-Oh right, phones have internet now. And fit in pockets. That is so weird.-  Hmm, doable, doable, sometimes doable, err... gonna be a tough one but ah’d rather a sea turtle than m’ arm. Ah was certain there was sum’in evil abou’ tha’ crab! -He chuckles again, really not believing his own declaration.-

Coconut Crab correct? I think they eat other crabs and trash. It looks big enough to eat anything though. I’ll make sure to bring some treats for the babies when I come. Pets always think that though. That you are solely there to visit them and not their owners.

Th’ Kraken, mebbe. Well, as lon’ as “souls of the living” isn’ on tha’ list ah think ah can manage her, then. Th’ trash thin’ is less than thrillin’ but so is havin’ a pup try t’ eat yer belongin’s. -shrugs- Th’ joys’o fur babies. Err, shell? Whatever. -waves hand-

All but the crab seem to be pets I could get along with. The crab creeps me out. I’d probably get used to it the more I’m near it, but currently….it’s creepy. The other animals seem to be ones I’d like. ‘specially the pugs.

Che, really though. Imagine waltzin’ in t’ see tha’ thin’ starin’ yeh down from atop yer sofa like it’s Queen’o th’ land. Ah got heart problems, man! Th’ pugs were supposed to be meetin’ him in th’ middle, but yer ol’ man does as he fancies. Ah jus’ gotta figure out what th’ beasty eats before ah become th’ eaten. An’ honestly as lon’ as yeh either bring treats or somehow sneak past the snort brigade to get some outta th’ kitchen, th’ pugs are yer BFFs fer life. They’ll also expect tha’ yeh came solely t’ visit them, hawhaw!