ALRIGHT,let’s start

you and món have been in a loving relationship and both of you have started talking about engagement and everything

not talking talking,but you both have been hinting at it which made you happy because that meant món was serious about you and this relationship

so one day you and món decided to go visit his family, he said he had something important to tell dina

you thought this would be great to break out the news,to món and his family. you were pregnant!

another baby arellano was on the way,which is why you were so happy that ramón was hinting at engagement

when you found out at first,you didn’t know how to react,as you didn’t know how serious this relationship with ramón was and how he would take the news

when you arrived he left to go talk with dina while you went to see benjamin and ruth

after a while,món came back and said he had to get some work done and would be back for dinner to which you nodded and kissed him on the lips

món would swoop you up in his arms and kiss you all over ,whispering in your ear,”i have a surprise for you later” before heading out. this left you with sharing the news at dinner

a few hours have passed and you were playing with baby ruth,imagining how it would be when you would play with your own child

“dina?” you heard benjamin call from downstairs and you looked downstairs to see dina standing there not moving,tears in her eyes

“ramón...” was all she muttered before she started crying and you knew what she meant,she didn’t even have to say it

you didn’t do anything,you just sat there shocked,not moving. ruth looked over at you to see your reaction but you just stared into space and didn’t blink

you were all sat down in the living room,the siblings crying. benjamin was yelling at his sicarios to go find mayo immediately so món could be avenged

you never saw benjamin like this. you saw him in his moody state but never crying and yelling

when dina asked you if you needed anything,that’s when it hit you

you needed ramón,but he was gone

you would never have him,you would never marry him and he would never get to meet his kid

he even died without knowing about his kid

you broke down immediately because it all hit you at once,the realization that you lost the love of your life hit you like a truck

dina was comforting you,as she was the one that knew how it was to lose a lover

“he would never get to meet his kid” you said while crying,and everyone in the family looked at eachother,everyone just becoming sadder with this new information

“you’re pregnant?” benjamin asked you and you just nodded,”i wanted to tell you guys at dinner” you said between sobs

“did ramón know?” dina would ask and at that you would shake your head and start to cry more because that mere thought of ramón not knowing about this

dina would start crying as well because ramón had asked for her help when buying you an engagement ring and the whole trip he talked about how happy you made him and how he would love to have a family with you

and dina was so happy when he did because he had finally found someone he loves and trusts

dina would turn to barron with her threatening voice and would tell him “i want everyone who’s important to mayo dead.”

after a few weeks and after the funeral,you would stay at the arellano house,which at first you would deny because in your mind you had no real connection to them anymore

but benjamin would tell you “you’re carrying an arellano what do you mean you have no connection to us” IM SOBBING

you would spend most your time with dina and you both would grow so close because now you understand eachother

when dina told you about the engagement ring ... OOF you would not stop crying for days,because you were so close to building a future with ramón

i mean you always had this scenario in the back of your mind since ramón was involved in this kind of business. you knew the dangers of it and you knew he was never truly safe no matter how much he’d tell you he was strong and that nothing could happen to him

you knew and yet you still didn’t think it was going to happen. you weren’t ready for it especially because you found out you were pregnant

the house was quiet without ramón around. so quiet that you could hear everything. but you couldn’t hear him yelling and getting angry at the rival cartels,you couldn’t hear his laughter

you couldn’t hear him cursing at his video games or the cartoons he would watch on maximum volume

you couldn’t hear him saying “mi corazón” whenever he would approach you :-(( is anyone else crying?

whew after months of depression you would force yourself to become better since your baby bump was already growing

and you knew ramón would want you to move on and not dwell in the past. of course that didn’t mean forget him

i feel like this whole ordeal would start after benjamin refused to sell the imperial valley to chapo,guero and azul

we all know how that scene went down right,everything seeming like it’s ok and chapo leaving with a salty look on his face and then the shooting at christine happens

well you and món and everyone else are having fun at the club,celebrating benjamin’s birthday,drinking,dancing, threatening claudios balls

and then the shooting happens. hearing the first gunshot,ramón would immediately push you behind him,or would just bring you close to his chest so he can protect you

and while you all were running away in that chaos,you would slip from ramóns grip somehow and that’s when chapo would snatch you

when món realized you weren’t with any of his family when getting in the car,you know what would happen

he would go crazy,and i mean CRAZY

he would be thrashing around,yelling at everyone,yelling at barron for not being there to protect you if he himself wasn’t able to

and ok,let’s try not to sob,but when everyone would go to their rooms,to sleep,ramón would be in his own room tearing up because he thought you were dead

and you know he would be blaming himself for this

benjamin tried to calm him down by telling him that you weren’t amongst the dead at the club

which did calm him down just a tiny bit,but then he went back to being angry because that means you were lost somewhere

he would pay everyone,and i mean everyone in the surrounding cities just so they could look for you

something in his mind was telling him that you actually were dead,they just didn’t want to tell him or they couldn’t identify you

món wouldn’t sleep for days because he would be patrolling the streets looking for a sign of you

and then one day he got a phone call

when he heard chapo from the other end of the line,different types of curses left móns mouth,as expected

and then chapo said “your girl’s with me” and ?$!? ramón would experience many emotions at once

at first he thought you purposefully ran away with chapo,but he knew that wasn’t the case,you weren’t like that

the deal was,”your brother gives us the imperial valley,and i return your girlfriend,if not then my condolences” and then chapo hanging up

you know ramón broke that phone in pieces from anger

then he went to benjamin yelling at him and telling him about the phone call

this put benjamin in a hard place because he didn’t want to give the valley to the sinaloans but he knew if he didn’t you would be dead

and that would be bad for ramón as well because he knew his brother finally found the one and he knew ramón would go even more insane than he was now if he lost you

if he’s creating chaos right now imagine what he would do if you were actually dead

he would start a real war in mexico over you

because right now,ramón was killing and torturing everyone that he even suspected was working for chapo,he was burning down facilities that might be theirs and as i said just creating utter chaos

benjamin could already see what would happen if you were dead

after a few days of ramón yelling at everyone and breaking everything in sight he would go catatonic :-(

he couldn’t sleep because he missed you and he was scared for you,imagining what’s happening to you right now

he was scared they would do something bad to you that would scar you for life and he knew he wouldn’t ever forgive himself for that

he was blaming himself for all of this,how he wasn’t able to protect you back at the club,how he didn’t notice you disappearing

every few hours he would go to benjamin and ask him if he’s made his mind up and when he would say no món would just go back in his room and secretly cry

until one night he decided he couldn’t go like this anymore and he had to find you

in the middle of the night he got up and loaded himself with every type of weapon and went to barron and the narco juniors

telling them to get ready because this time they were going to actually find you

so they took off,without anyone in the family knowing about ramóns plan

if he told benjamin,he would’ve tried to stop him and tell him he would still need to negotiate with the sinaloans but ramón couldn’t wait for that,he needed you back and safe

in the next week,he,barron and the narco juniors interrogated every guy that was connected to chapo and eventually some of them talked

they hit the jackpot with one of the guys,who knew the exact location where they were hiding you

you were hidden in a warehouse somewhere outside of culiacán

ramón would drive so fast over there the others were scared they would crash

when they got there of course the warehouse was guarded but knowing ramón his hand immediately went to grab his rifle and he started shooting

and then he finally found you

you were tied to a chair and he RAN over to you so fast,immediately untying the ropes and embracing you

he would squeeze you so hard and kiss you all over,maybe he would even tear up,or he would save his tears for just the two of you when you go back home

he would scoop you up bridal style and carry you to the car where he would gently place you on the seat

he would be so gentle with you on the way back because he didn’t want to hurt you as you were already in distress

he would be cursing under his breath,and you would hear “pinche chapo” many times

when you got home ramón would immediately run a bath for you and order the cooks to cook your favorite meals

and :-( when you two would be laying on your bed he would tell you how scared he was of losing you and this is when he would let his tears fall

and then the whole night would be the two of you talking about how much you love eachother and just not wanting to let eachother go ... my heart :-(