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Fanny Emboldens William
My Secret Life - Volume 3, Chapter 1 Snipits
Another installment of language use in My Secret Life, by Walter.
But I for some time abstained from women, and had wet dreams.
- Apparently this isn't as new a term as I thought.
...although the idea of a female evacuating revolted me, yet used to try to get to our privy when one of the girls went to theirs, and would stand smoking just inside the passage by the back-steps of my house, tip-toeing to catch a glance of their heads, and stopping myself from bogging sometimes, so that I might get there at the same time.
- Despite the context, and my (non)exhaustive google research, I still can't quite make this out. Does it just mean that he was dirty? If so, why the verb? Or maybe it means going to the bathroom? He holds in his poop so that he can bump into a woman near the bathroom?
One day I had a hardish motion, and was randy that morning almost to pain.
- This doesn't really need explanation or commentary. I like the way it's arranged, but it speaks for itself. Which didn't stop me from writing three whole sentences.
One day by a sudden whim I let a fart as loud as I could, and heard a suppressed titter, they I think never knew I could hear, for usually I tried to be as silent as possible. I never coughed when there, and used to pull open my arse-hole to lessen the noise of my trumpet, and singular as it may seem did this out of a feeling of delicacy.
- I just picked this quote because I'm 12 and farts are funny.
Near Exeter Hall my cock which was in want of relief giving me impudence, and liking her looks I spoke to her about the things in the windows.
- At least he's honest about the fact that his cock controls him and not the other way around.
At length quietly, and feeling my prick all the time she said, "Promise me something." "What?" "Don't you wet inside if I let you." I promised, and turning on to her belly fucked her.
- Such a polite way to say it.
The end of this promiscuity was that again I took the clap, which laid me up some weeks, and made it again needful to open my piss-pipe by surgical tubes.
- The most graphic phrase I've yet read in MSL.
Here was a well-formed woman, a cunt at hand, and yet I was to spunk out on to the floor, was being made a fool of.
- Spunk as a verb.
Sweet, wet dreams!

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A mock Black mass room in a French S&M brothel on Rue Navarin.
A still from HOUSE OF PLEASURES (2011)
A still from HOUSE OF PLEASURES (2011)
After supper he said: "Susey, if you love me, show me your garters." "Oh, Uncle!" I replied blushingly, "would that be decent and proper?" "You are an ungrateful girl to refuse the first trifling request I make," he said. "Not ungrateful, Uncle," I replied; "see here, please examine my pretty garters," and I stretched out both my legs as I continued sitting in my chair. Uncle was on his knees between my legs in a moment, and put his hands first on one garter and then on the other, unclasping them and kissing my thighs just above the stockings. Then he said: "Dear Susey, do you know that your mother was my favourite sister? And that as children we used to sleep together, and were fond of taking off each other's nightdress and of examining the difference in our naked bodies, and making water in the same pot. And now, dear Susey, I want to tell you that your dear mother on her death-bed confided you to my care, and I have paid for your education and maintenance all your life; and now I hope you will love me and be a comfort to me in my declining years." "Yes, dear Uncle," I said, "you may depend on my doing everything in my power to give you pleasure." "That's a good girl," said Uncle. "But now you can do something this minute to please me, and that is to show me your cunny!" I told him he could look at it if he wished. So as I was seated in an easy-chair he lifted one of my legs over an arm of the chair and telling me to hold my clothing and chemise out of the way, he exposed my cunny and bottom-hole to his delighted view, and covered both with kisses, sucking and putting his tongue as far as possible into both places. The end of this, of course, was that I gave down my liquor of love over his tongue and he greedily sucked up every drop, declaring it was most delicious. After this he pulled out his prick and pretended to me that he had fucked my mother, therefore he had a right to do the same to me! I laughed at this reasoning and feigning ignorance of his meaning asked him to explain everything. He then laid me on the sofa before the fire and undressed me and also himself, all the time praising the whiteness of my skin, and then, dearest May, he fucked me, and fancied he was the first that had penetrated my virgin slit, as he fondly called it. Now I must close this letter, hoping you have had as much pleasure as I have in the way of fucking. By the way, dear May, why don't you get your father to fuck you? Uncle says you would find it delicious, for he knows your father well and says he remembers that his cock is both long and very thick!
The Pearl

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“But guess my surprise, when I saw the lazy young rogue lie down on his back, and gently pull down Polly upon him, who giving way to his humour, straddled, and with her hands conducted her blind favourite to the right place; and following her impulse, ran directly upon the flaming point of this weapon of pleasure, which she stak’d herself upon, up pierc’d and infix’d to the extremest hair-breadth of it: thus she sat on him a few instants, enjoying and relishing her situation, whilst he toyed with her provoking breasts. Sometimes she would stoop to meet his kiss: but presently the sting of pleasure spurr’d them up to fiercer action; then began the storm of heaves, which, form the undermost combatant, were thrusts at the same time, he crossing his hands over her, and drawing her home to him with a sweet violence: the inverted strokes of anvil over hammer soon brought on the critical period, in which all the signs of a close conspiring extasy informed us of the point they were at.”
- Fanny Hill, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure c.1749 by John Cleland (via supprosetry)
The horse grenadier mentioned in this post. Insert lewd riding joke.
Source
Risque postcard. Sheer top.

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Vintage French Postcard - Circa 1910.
Lush reclining nude.