math class with don corleone

[You sorta deadpan. What’s with her? You try to not get huffy, but you’re not the most mature individual.]

"Right…"

[You sort of look around, thinking to yourself. Hm. You may have over done it a bit. You couldn’t really help yourself, and you’re so far out of your element. Nomad’s unhappy, for god knows what reason. Maybe they’re on to you. Probably not, but maybe worried. Whatever.]

"I guess we should go… Come on, Nomad… We probably should settle down and eat?"

[He certainly doesn’t sound like he cares a whole lot about how on-edge you are right now. That’s…no, no, he wouldn’t be acting like this normally, right? Of course not, right? Something’s…wrong here. Something’s up and you don’t know what’s going on and this is most definitely not helping your situation. Ser’s glaring him down, too…you edge a tiny step away from him. The notion of eating right now makes you feel a bit queasy. You’re really quite quiet when you speak again.]

"Mmh, I’m…I’m not r-really that hungry right now…I need to feed my bugs, though…"

[You give him the flintiest look you can manage before glancing over at Bug. They seem...a lot worse off all of a sudden. Something's fishy here, and it sure as shit ain't the anchovies in the food. You'll need to look into this, too.]

[You figure you won't cause Bugs anymore grief today.]

"Beans, would you mind doing the honors? I've gotta go get the bar ready."

[He nods, and gently sets his hands on both their shoulders. A gust of air, and they're back in the hall. He tips his hat to them, and vanishes.]

"No… Not really… Biology is more what I’m interested in…"

[You pause, drawing a claw to your pursed lips. Maybe you should look into physics. Especially if there’s monsters involved. You glance over to Nomad, frowning briefly before moving closer to nuzzle your head against their cheek.]

"We’re heading back? Why did you take us all the way here?"

[You’re clearly confused.]

[You quickly fold your hands under your arms. You feel a little…unstable. You’re shivering a tiny bit. You hope nobody notices. You just want to go back, go feed your bugs. It’s probably past their dinnertime. Maybe you’ll write more notes on Aphrodite. Maybe go read a book. Let’s not overthink things any more than we have.]

"Then don't bother with the math shit. It's less exciting than it sounds. Interesting things are one in a billion."

[You half give him the "are you shitting me" stare. You aren't even that good at emotions, but you know discomfort when you see it. He should really get the hint. You flick your tongue in annoyance.]

"Yep. You asked for evidence, kid, and that's what I gave you. I said, I'm gonna give you a while to get used to it. It takes a lot of getting used to."

[You frown a bit at Nomad’s panicked bug sounds, biting your lip. What’s their deal? It’s not like you could even go through. Sighing a little, you continue along to where Beans started walking.]

"Really? Why don’t things come through the hole if that’s sorta… where things should be coming though?"

[You pout a little. You can tell the two of them are saying something, but you definitely can’t make out what they’re saying. Damn it.]

[You’re wondering much the same thing. Your deal is that this is your boyfriend, the love of your life, and you are not about to even think about chancing having him fall into a mysterious void from which you don’t know if it’s possible to return from. With your luck, concerning the people you love? Dear god, you don’t even want to think about it. You really, really don’t.]

[You bite your lip. You hope you’re going back home soon. You’re quite done with today. You hope Ser knows enough about your history as she seems to, and has one of her friends take you two back instead. You have nothing against her, she seems quite kind, but she smells like fire, and you don’t particularly want to think about that either.]

[You shrug.]

"Hell if I know. Actually, no, I do sorta know, but I wouldn't want to bore you. It's all math from here, kid, and I doubt you're particularly well-versed in physics."

[You can tell Weirdbug is getting antsier by the second. Alright, time to end this trip, you think. You poof a rather large bag into your hand, and hand it off to Godzilla.]

"Right, well, I think I should give you guys some time to let this all sink in. It's a lot to handle. If you want to, you could go make some friends online. That should be working again. Go get some more pals in new and exciting places. Endless possibilities and all. Oh, and I packed some dinner for youse two. Figured it'd be nice. We'll probably be back around in a week, since I think Fish wanted to talk to you and he ain't in right now. If you need me, I've got one of those bloggy bits. The name's in with your dinner. Ready to head back? It'd be a good idea, 'fore it starts gettin' late."

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[You sorta sit there and marvel at the idea of all these monsters from who knows where coming stumbling in from this weird science hole. You really want to know how to get through now.]

"Huh… So how does stuff get through if it’s solid? Is it like… a one way?"

[You crawl over to it and knock at it, smiling with curiosity.]

[YOU DO NOT TRUST THE HOLE.]

[Unfortunately, by clinging to the Shep in an effort to persuade him to not go near the hole, the Shep has instead dragged you much closer to the hole than you would like to be. This plan has backfired rather spectacularly. What’s his deal? He’s not really listening to you. Which is odd, because you think you’re sufficiently loud.]

[…wait shit is he going to touch it—]

[VERY LOUD NERVOUS CICADA NOISES]

[ＹＯＵＤＯＮＯＴＴＲＵＳＴＴＨＥＨＯＬＥ ]

[Uh oh. That didn't seem to help much. Maybe it would be a better idea to get the both of them out of the room with the Mystery Hole. He has to kind of shout to make himself heard over the cicada noise.]

"Here, uh, we can talk about that on the way out-! Follow me, please--!"

[He starts to walk out of the room, only to breathe a sigh of relief when he notices you standing at the door. You wondered what the fuck that noise was. It's now apparent that it's Weirdbug. Don't say anything about going through it, Ser, he mumbles in Russian. You nod. Got it. They've had a long day. I'll take them back soon. You greet them both with a smile as they follow Bean out. Weirdbug looks pretty rattled, which is understandable. The hole's a bit of a shock to most. Shit, why'd you even take the both of them to see it? You really should have given them some time to process what happened before you showed them a hole in reality itself. What a genius idea. Not like people don't deal with timespace anomalies every single day! Fuck.]

"...Heard you were interested in the stuff comin' out. Well, I mean, I can tell you right now, it doesn't come out there. Just sort of materializes smack dab in the middle of the bar most times. You sit in there and watch that, and you'll be bored as hell."

[You glance about as you walk, looking over everything. You don’t notice Nomad staring, which honestly is something you should be paying attention to. All this information and stimuli is a bit much for you, but the other you would have been much worse off. ]

"Monsters have come through here? What did they look like…? Where did they come from?"

[You’re a bit excited. Very interesting! You lean forwards a bit, looking through the rip, despite not seeing anything.]

"What would happen if I walked through?"

[You do not trust the Hole. Scientific phenomena that nobody can really explain make you rather anxious. You cling to Shep, eyeing it warily. You are very careful to stay as far back from it as you can manage.]

[HIGH-PITCHED NOISE OF ALARM. CLICK CLAWS NERVOUSLY. You’re speaking a bit too fast. Shep. No. Do not do the thing.]

"N-no!! That would be v-very ill-advised!!"

"Oh, yep! We aren't quite sure where some of 'em came from. Let's see...there were quite a few indescribable horrors that made their way through the bar, along with vampires, ghosts, mummies, that sort of thing. A ridiculously large chameleon with a gun for a face has come through a few times, though Ser always gets annoyed because the thing accidentally wrecks all our furniture. There were some big gelatinous creatures and a huge beetle person here a few weeks ago, actually."

[Yeah, he probably wouldn't endorse walking straight into the Rip either. But, the bug kid is most definitely very nervous. Well, at least he can probably fix that.]

"Ah, no, don't worry about it, here, check this out..."

[He walks straight over to the massive black hole in the room, sticks out a hand, and knocks on it. It echoes weirdly.]

"See? Completely solid. You couldn't walk through even if you wanted to. I'm not quite sure why it does that, but hey, I'm not Ser when it comes to knowing stuff about this nonsense."

[As she speaks up, you purse your lips a tiny bit. Hm. Something is definitely up. You glance between both Ser and Beans, thinking for a moment. What is up with them…? Something secret? Probably, they are kinda messing up your plans. Not that they were going to plan anyway.]

[Tch. I guess you’ll just have to deal with what you get. Let’s see this Rip thing. Go back to smiling. You’re overdoing it a tiny bit, but you don’t know.]

"Yeah! Let’s see this Rip thingy… What… uh… exactly is it?"

[Odd. You glance at Shep. He looks like he’s thinking something, too. You’ll ask him later. You glance back over your shoulder at Ser. Is that…worry? Whatever she’s discussing with the huge eagle guy, neither of them seem particularly thrilled about it. Something’s weird. But, again, you dismiss it. You have no frame of reference here. Whatever. You smile right back at Bean! What a cheery fellow.]

[Bean leads the both of them out of the main room, and into a hallway. From the looks of it, the bar is smack in the middle of what seems to be a monstrously fancy hotel. He chatters on while he walks.]

"Oh! Right. Ser probably didn't explain it. Aha, you probably wouldn't want her going on about it. She tends to get real confusing real fast, and I don't think either of you are physicists, so it wouldn't have helped much...the Rip is exactly what it sounds like, actually! It's a pretty decent sized hole in reality, and it ended up right here in our bar! Don't really know how it opened, but hey, it's here. It's kinda why we've been stuck in a loop here for so long. It won't let us break the loop, which is fortunate, since we really love it here! Ninety years is a long time to be somewhere, sure, but we manage to keep up to date with a lot of things. People end up falling through their own rips all the time, and they end up here! That's why there were so many people with pajamas on in the main room. They end up getting booted soon enough, though. We've seen lots of things come and go over the years. Celebrities, presidents, monsters, things from unfamiliar dimensions...you name it, we've seen it, and it's all thanks to this thing."

[He leads them down a row of hotel rooms, opening the door at the end of the hall. Inside the room, there's a humongous, impossibly black hole hovering about three feet off the floor. Tiny chips of purplish grey metal litter the floor beneath it. The rip itself is at least the size of two couches stacked on each other, and the space around it is distorted. It's like a really weird sci-fi movie.]

[You’re sorta distracted by surveying the area. You flick your tongue out multiple times, tasting the air as you stay clinging to Nomad. You’re practically latched onto them. You stare up at the two new people, remarking at their Weird Bird Asses. Whoa.]

"Alright, I guess… I dunno what we’re gonna do… I mean…"

[You kinda shrug. It’s a bar, and you definitely aren’t old enough to drink.]

[This is a pretty interesting place. You weren’t expecting to jump straight back into a mobster movie today, but hey, you’re always up for an adventure. You don’t suppose these gentlemen went about getting their bird halves in the same manner you got your bug ass. How interesting!]

"Ah, yes…Madam, this place is very interesting and all, but I do not believe either of us are old enough to appreciate it. Would you mind just taking us to see this…rip?"

[Oh, crap. That's right. They're like, 18 or 19. Shit. You've gotta talk to Pete and Beans about the Thing, but you can't very well go talking over them in a language they can't understand. Then they'll get suspicious. Okay. Crap. Here goes nothing.]

"Oh, shit, you're right. Here. Beans'll take you up to see it, and I'll catch up later. I gotta talk to Pete about somethin'. Business, y'know?"

[You shoot a glance at Bean, and he nods, fixes his glasses, and turns back to the kids with a friendly smile.]

"Ah, hey! Don't think I caught your names before. The name's Bean, by the way! Bean Brennan. Alright, then, follow me! It's this way."

[He starts to trot away. You turn to Pyotr, mumbling in Russian. Something came out of the break, you say. He frowns. I guess it was a matter of time. Did you see it? You huff. No. All I know is, whatever it is, it's pissed. He nods. Mmm. I suppose that illness you concocted will be getting some use. You look away, frowning heavily. Yeah, I guess so. I just hope these two are gonna be okay. They're good kids. I don't want to see them get hurt by something they couldn't help. I really don't, Pete. He pauses for a moment, puts his hand on your shoulder. I bet they'll be fine. We can worry about this later.]

[You gently drape a somewhat flabby lizard arm over them, snuggling up against their side.]

"As long as you’re okay. I guess this means we’re getting out of here, huh?"

[You smile a little, though your tail and ears twitch. Something is up, but you definitely don’t know what. But you don’t have time to think about that. Suddenly you both are in a bar, of all places. You definitely haven’t been here before. Still, you can’t help but sway your tail to the beat.]

[You can’t help but smile. Luv this lizard.]

"It seems that way, indeed! Perhaps we will be able to get out and about a bit more, eh?"

[You hold your breath for a moment, until you remember that, oh, wait, you have spiracles now. You can just use those, and you won’t smell the smoke. Those are better. Though…you get a bit of a chill as you go. It unsettles you, a bit, but only for a moment. You think nothing of it, and immediately forget it once you land in the bar.]

[It’s quite a magnificent and fancy place, and you admit, you feel a bit underdressed, as you’d stumbled out of your room with your pajamas on. Well, at least it seems like some of the other patrons had the same idea - they look like they just rolled out of bed. Wait, the song the band’s playing sounds oddly familiar. Is that seriously Tainted Love? Well, that’s anachronistic, you think. But, in typical naturalist fashion, you just sort of amusedly look around yourself for a while. How very, very interesting!]

[Well, they seem to be finding it alright here, especially Weirdbug, which is good. You grin. You love it when people have a good time.]

[Bean puts down the glass he was polishing, and comes out from behind the bar to greet the bunch of you. Pyotr, being himself, sort of just mysteriously appears, as he is apt to do. Bean, as it happens, has gained the lower half of a huge secretary bird, and Pyotr's a gigantic god damn eagle. Why are you surrounded by birds all of a sudden? Two birds is a bit much. You had to tailor both of their pants for them, which you didn't mind, but it sure as hell took a while.]

[Bean is pale as hell, wiry, and freckly as all get-out, and is just about as Irish as they come, brogue and everything. Pyotr, on the other hand, can only be described as "looming". He has a peg leg, a hooked nose, and is wearing an impeccably maintained suit. They look at each other, slightly confused, before looking back at the new kids. Bean turns to you, nodding over at them.]

"Hey, Ser, you didn't mention they were-" "They're not. Just got slapped with a bit of mutation, I guess."

[You turn back to Shep and Nomad, and smile.]

"Youse two can go walk around and have a good time. I got a little something I gotta clear up with the boys, here. I'll be back around to show you the rip in a few minutes."

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[You quickly get up, ears wiggling slightly as you smile. To be honest, you’re kind of excited to see what they have in store. It’s a whole lot to take in at once, but you can handle it.]

"You alright, Nomad?"

[Waddle over to them and give a little smooch on the cheek. They seem a little shellshocked.]

[You sort of wriggle off the couch, careful not to poke a hole in it with your leggies. You’ve at least stopped making really loud cicada noises, which is a plus.]

"Ah, yes, I’m fine. Still a bit, well, surprised, I suppose. Today has been…quite eventful, after all, and it seems like it will just keep getting more and more interesting."

[You smile, and give him a quick peck back. Wiggle the antennae.]

[Alrighty. Everybody up? Great. Time to bounce. A quick double check to make sure you've still got your hands on their shoulders - yep. In a puff of black smoke, all three of you have mysteriously vanished from the hallway.]

[It's only for a fraction of a second, but...you get the heebie-jeebies. Something's watching all three of you. You can feel it lurking, and you sure as shit don't think it's nice. You must've let it loose when you broke the timeline. Fuck, you think. Just another ass I've got to kick.]

[With another puff of smoke, the three of you seem to have taken a trip back in time, and have landed smack in the middle of a particularly fancy speakeasy. There's a particularly lively jazz band playing. The room is dim, and a huge chandelier sparkles on the ceiling. The place is incredibly lively. There's a lanky redheaded guy behind the bar, and he waves excitedly. You grin, waving back at him.]

"'Ey, Beansie! Brought back some friends from the Big One! Get Pete, ain't a proper welcome without him."

[You brush your tail up against Nomad, listening to them go on and on about things you have no clue about. It’s all interesting, but you feel like it’s not super relevant.]

"Hmm, well, do you think we should go, Nomad? I’m kinda curious what she’ll show us…"

[You chew at your lip a little, looking over to her. Ser, was it? Hm…]

[You kind of end up looking at her like she has three heads.]

"Yeah, I still have the worm…I-I do, thank you for asking…"

[You turn to Shep, and give him a bit of a smile.]

"I suppose we should. Aha, as am I…I guess this really could broaden our horizons, huh?"

[You push yourself up off your armchair, and it disappears behind you.]

"Alrighty, then! Upsy daisy. C'mon. Fallin' right on yer' ass won't be very fun."

[You plonk your hands on both of their shoulders, grinning broadly. You're kind of excited, actually. You bet the rest of 'em will be glad to see some of the kids from the Big Loop everyone's been making such a stink over finally show up.]

"So, youse two good to go?"

[You listen, putting a claw to your chin as you think to yourself. Interesting, there is an odd memory gap — one you haven’t accounted for, and their time-space shenanigans would make sense. You’re not too certain it’s legitimate, though.]

"So you’re saying that… we’re repeating a weird chunk of time over and over, and that’s gonna kill us? That seems like a whole lot going on, y’know? Can you prove it somehow?"

[Frown. Well, that’s…worrying. You almost wonder if you were the same before. Did everything still…happen, then? Would it not have happened the next loop? It’s probably asking for trouble, but…]

"Ah…do you, uh…know what changed from the last…loop? It’s alright if you don’t, I guess I’m just curious, really…"

"Well, you've only redone it once so far. Nah, nah. It won't kill you, per se. You woulda lived just fine. Look at me. Almost ninety years stuck in one and I'm still goin' strong. Sorry. I ain't that good at explainin' the fine details of shit like this-- yours just erased and reset some parts of who you started out as. Like, uh...take Weirdbug over here, fer instance. Lemme tell ya what's changed from the last loop, kiddo. Scusi if I don't get all this shit right. Heard it secondhand. Fish's the one who saw you first loop, not me. Y'can talk to him about it if you want. But anyways."

[You look over at the bug kid.]

"Almost didn't notice who you were, actually. Figured you were the bug kid Fish as talkin' about since yer' a huge damn bug. Otherwise, you sure as hell ain't Loop 1 you. Totally different hair, eyes, skin, nationality, accent. You still seem like the same bug nerd you were, though. Maybe a bit more so. You still got that worm? You know, the fuckhuge underwater one. You still got...those, so I don't think your old story's changed much. Doin' a lot better for yourself though, it seems. Fish said Loop 1 you was havin'...problems. Real bad problems with someone. He'll be happy to hear that you're doin' good. Y'use 'they', right? Wouldn't want to make you uncomfy, y'know."

[You grin, and chuckle. You kind of sound like Muttley.]

"Oh, of course I got proof! I got proof out the eyeballs. If you wanna take a bit of a walk, I can show you something you won't believe!"

[You nod, taking the box of tissues. Right… How do you do this again? For fuck’s sake, you should know how to do a bloody nose. This isn’t fucking Awful Hospital. Alright. You wad up a pair of tissues and shove them up your snout. That should do it.]

"Whoa! That’s pretty cool."

[You’re sorta lisping a little with your nose snorked up with tissue. Still, you crawl up onto it. Yeah, comfy. Who knows what she’s talking about though.]

[You sort of flop over on the couch. You aren’t sure how you’re supposed to really sit on things anymore, since you are lacking one bit that is sort of vital to sitting. You frown.]

"What do you mean, stuck…? We’re stuck in this blasted school, yes, but I didn’t know we were stuck in something else…"

#cold blooded #Oh MAN what a tiny baby.

[Alright. They probably aren't getting it. You sigh.]

"Okay. When things reset after however long it is, nobody remembers anything. Sometimes a few people do, but mostly everything goes back to exactly the way it was when the loop started. Your loop, though...it was kind of different. It'd only gone through one complete reset so far, and it was tied to flip when everyone was just about to escape. It had a more...pervasive reset system, too. It didn't just stop at putting everything back the way it was. It changed shit. Changed a lot of shit."

[You pause, trying to think of a decent way to phrase this. You don't want Godzilla fainting again.]

"...Basically, if I hadn't broken it, it would have eventually killed the both of you, and everyone else, and you'd have been none the wiser. It would have made versions of you that were kind of similar, but...different. Sometimes almost unrecognizable, really. But, hey! It's alright now. You don't need to worry about timespace fucking you up anymore. Trust me. I'm kind of an expert on this stuff."

candlelightisfire

So tiny! So cute!

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[After a few moments, you twitch a little and push yourself up. Damn. Your nose hurts. Pausing, and still hunched over, you wipe your nose, only to find, hey, it’s bleeding.]

"Darn… Ugh… my head hurts…"

[Straighten up, looking around. Oh!]

"W-what’s going on?"

[Okay. Alright. He’s good. Everything is alright. Very gently hug the Shep.]

"Well, um…I suppose that’s what we’re trying to find out…"

[You turn to the weird snake lady. Something is making you kind of nervous. It’s probably the fact that the hallway now smells faintly of smoke. You don’t mention it, though. That’d be rude, you think.]

"Perhaps the short of it would be the best idea for now…?"

[You are very careful to make a box of tissues appear behind your back and out of his sight, so you don't startle him again. You hand him the box with some urgency.]

"Alright. Here. Before I get going, let me just get youse two a chair. I don't want you to pass out again and crack yourself a good one, got it? You might wanna sit down quick before I get started."

[Fwoof. In another puff of smoke, a rather ornate and comfy-looking sofa materializes in the hallway, right behind them. You give them a few seconds to sit down. Alrighty then. Time to get started. You poof your own (equally extravagant) armchair into existence and plonk down in it. You're gonna be a while.]

"First off. Have youse two seen Groundhog Day? The one with Bill Murray. You know how the day repeats into infinity? Yeah. That actually happens. 'S called a loop. Loops can repeat a day, a week, a month, anything. I should know, I been stuck in one since '25. And since up until a few minutes ago, you and all your friends were stuck in one, too."

[??????????????????]

[Whoa okay. That’s a lot more than you can do. You wish you could do that. You open your mouth to speak, raising a hand, only to drop it. Uh.]

"I—"

[Collapse suddenly. Whoops. You’re out. Bye.]

[Uh oh. You’re still quite firmly coiled around him, so you are at least able to catch him quite effectively. Even more nervous chittering. Very gently pap the Shep.]