IM GONNA FUCKING SHOOT LARS BARRIGA

#KEEP MURDERING ANY BARRIGA YOU MEET

THE COOLEST CAPTAIN IN THE DAMN UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!

@gayspacedorito YOU'VE BEEN OFFICIALLY PROMOTED BY ME, EMERALD. YOU'RE NOW MY

RIGHT HAND GEM

I SHOULD PROMOTE PERIDOT

THATS A GREAT IDEA!

#WHEN DID MY PLANS EVER FAIL

FUCK YOU I ALWAYS AND EXCLUSIVELY HAVE GREAT IDEAS

I SHOULD PROMOTE PERIDOT

#SHE KEEPS COMMITING MURDER WITHOUT ME PROMPTING HER TO! I LOVE HER

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lars-fucking-barriga

Wow! I thought I was fucking dead!

Jokes on you, universe, I can’t die twice!

Good!

ENDLESS TORTURE IS JUST WHAT YOU DESERVE, BARRIGA!

lars-fucking-barriga

What’d I fucKING DO TO YOU???????????

YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND’S SHIP!!!! AND NOW, YOU SHALL PAY!!!!!!!!!

DIE, BARRIGA!!!!!

*AIMS LASER CANNONS AT LARS-*

YEAH!!!

GET HIS ASS

I AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE HERE.

EXCEPT SLINKY.

AND AQUAMARINE.

AND EMERALD.

THAT'S RIGHT! MY MAGNIFICENT AND EVER LOYAL PERIDOT SIDEKICK

You are a gremlin baby! Accept it!

WHAT!!! HOW DARE YOU I AM NOT!!! A GREMLIN OR A BABY!!!!!

GHHHRGH!!

I CAN AND WILL DESTROY EVERY PLANET IN YOUR SOLAR SYSTEM YOU DISRESPECTFUL ORGANIC!!!!!!!!

BATTLE STRATEGY

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

What if he's not afraid of needles? That's why you need poison to coat the drill in.

SILENCE, PUNY ORGANIC BITCH!!!! THE PLAN IS PERFECT!!!!!

Okay, but if it fails I will vibe check you.

HOW DARE YOU!!!!! MY VIBES ARE PERFECTLY REGULAR!!!!!!!!

#GRAAARRGGGH!!!

BATTLE STRATEGY

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

What if he's not afraid of needles? That's why you need poison to coat the drill in.

SILENCE, PUNY ORGANIC BITCH!!!! THE PLAN IS PERFECT!!!!!

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BATTLE STRATEGY

#I AS AN ELITE STRATEGIZER THAT I AM AS AN EMERALD SAY #THAT THERE IS NO WAY THIS PLAN COULD POSSIBLY FAIL

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

@galaxy-conquering-emerald

I BUILT YOU A NEW SPACESHIP

ITS...MUCH SMALLER (PRACTICALLY A SINGLE SEATER SANS THE SIDECAR)

BUT,

#NO INANIMATE OBJECTS WILL LOSE THEIR LIVES TODAY #ONLY BARRIGA WILL #//HI THIS IS INCREDIBLE IM IN LOVE

INCREDIBLE!!!!!!

YOU MADE THIS BY YOURSELF, PERIDOT?? YOU MUST BE THE MOST ELITE OF YOUR KIND, A VERY WELCOME ADDITION TO MY CREW

im-one-popcorn-bitch

@galaxy-conquering-emerald Hey green cat BITCH I bet i have a bigger spaceship then you.

#....... THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE EXPLODED #BUT THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!

*AGGRESSIVE AND RAPID SLAMMING OF DOOR* ARRRGGH!!!

SHUT UP YOU GARNET ASS BITCH!!! I HAVE A WHOLE FLEET OF COOL SHIPS!!!!

@lars-fucking-barriga

STOP!!!! STEALING!!!!! MY FUCKING!!!!! SHIP!!!!!!!!!!

#GRRRAAGARRGHHH!!!!#//I HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING THIS BUT I ALSO CANT STOP LAUGHING

I WANT

MY

SUN INCINERATOR BACK!!!

#GhRRRGGARRRGHH!!!#*SMASHES VARIOUS POTTED PLANTS*

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little-blue-bitch

*drip*

*drop*

*drip*

*drop*

…

Where… am I- what? What is- what’s wrong with my… why do I have claws? And- oh, stars, my wings! What’s wrong with my wings?!

They… they look awful! They’re so rigid, it… it’s- this can’t be right! What happ-

… Oh. Oh… oh, I… remember now… but what could have caused such a thing…? And… what reversed it…? And… can I still fly, even? My wings are so- oh, good, they do work… thank stars… but… the only thing I can think of that could have caused such a thing is… oh… oh, no, no, they wouldn’t do this to their own gems, they would never…! Wait- Topaz! Was Topaz affected? And… has she recovered just as I have? Oh, Topaz, why did you wander off, you stupid… pebble…