Confused™

omw to jupiter to get more stupider you guys need anything??

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

*listens to Vampire Weekend* anyone feel like smoking weed on the roof of an all boys private school and maybe form an unrequited homoerotic crush on a best friend?

*80s pop playing as I lay dead in the middle of the woods*

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

sleeping with your stuffed animals is punk rock don’t let anybody tell you different

whenever somebody responds with “I beg your pardon?” assert your dominance by announcing “Then Beg.”

lets all be proudly homoerotic and tacky this summer

graphic on screen torture of a woman is not provocative not metaphorical not deep women have made art and film about pain and sacrifice without falling back on a gross-out contest its not entertaining to see that its not compelling its actually one of the most tired things present in film today

it’s so dumb that broad shoulders are considered unattractive in a woman just because the ideal of womanhood is based on the perceived fragility of a smaller frame. have you ever seen a woman with broad shoulders? looks like she was sculpted by the gods themselves