So I asked my colleague (slowly becoming a new friend) if I could hug her today. She's an awesome person and sometimes I just want to hug people to convey that feeling. But that kind of feeling doesn't come over me all the time and usually it only occurs with people that I feel like I have a deeper relationship with, or am starting to.
I'm realizing right now that the last person I hugged was one of my closest friends. Two weeks ago. For some reason that makes me extremely sad. That's a long time to go without a hug. Because I live with most of my family I feel like we don't hug regularly. I don't know if that makes sense, but since we see each other everyday it's as if we don't really get a chance to miss each other.Â
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post other than I think I'm starting to recognize that I'm lonely and I really don't like that feeling. It saddens me that although I'm meeting these colleagues and we're all struggling towards this goal, I don't feel deeply connected to them.Â
I think I felt this way this same time last year. Then I started a new job and was connected with some new and old friends through a play we worked on... And then I moved home. Now I'm starting that same process all over again, but it's slower and involves longer days. More homework. Lesson planning. And it's all temporary. I could move again in less than a year and have to reinvest myself in new people, places and occupations.Â
I just want a hug and a friend who will be spontaneous with me on Friday or Saturday nights.Â
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