former stylist

negan SHIFTS his head , almost in a fashion of hilarity . a short scoff is    freed    , a hand RAISING to this woman just could not grasp the   damn situation    . it’s SHIT like that which was why people died in that world , well , that and the dad PRICKS just doing whatever it is they do . ❛ you have no fuckin’ clue about    shit    . your people STARTED this , they killed    my people    and KILLED more of my people when this shit was going to be    sorted out    . and to be absolutely crystal clear . that second death .. that was not    NECESSARY    .. that is on good ol’ daryl . ❜

    The scoff was not expected so Jessie glared at him for it. His disrespect and arrogance seemed to ooze off him and he seemed to like it, at least she thought that was the case. “You really think I know nothing about the death Rick and his group bring to people? I know. Before all of this I had a husband, he was a piece of shit but he was still my husband.” That she was angry about but she understood why it happened. “My two kids died when Rick became the leader and my oldest son killed at the hands of Rick’s right hand. You killed two people but he killed my entire family. I have more than a clue about what shit he starts but you should take it up with him and not the people who are just following his orders. Glenn was a good man who had never killed anyone before Rick made him. Instead of killing the person actually responsible, you went for a power trip and wanted to break him to your will. Tell me again how I have no clue.”

Denise nodded “They are good, they are good,” she reassured, “I know no one is as worried about small cuts or splinters or scratches anymore, but band aids are great to keep IVs in place. And they are usually kept sterile so sometimes when they find them so they are still very useful as the first layer when dressing a bigger wound.” She obviously didn’t have access to all the supplied she could have asked for, but after the attack of the Wolfs and the herd, she had learned to make the best of what they had in the infirmary to provide her patients with the best care she could give. “Band-aids are great.” 

“Oh, me?” She had suggested that someone with medical knowledge should go on the runs almost on an impulse, but the mere thought of she going outside of the gates was terrifying. “No, I shouldn’t… I don’t think I’d be… yeah, not, that’s probably not a good idea.” She had given lists to the people who was leaving on runs before, but she could understand how difficult it was finding specific things for people who didn’t know what they were looking for or where to look for it. “Have you ever thought about going out? On a run?”

     She was right, no one really cared about small or minor injuries so they just got on with it most of the time. “They found a whole unopened pack so I guess that must help with the condition of them. Even if you do just use them to hold IV’s in place, it’s still something.” And that was always better than nothing which was a rarity as the days went on.

     "I think you’re right. We can’t have you out there when we need you in here.” They couldn’t risk the only doctor that they had, it wasn’t right and it was a risk that was too dangerous to take. “Have I?” Jessie shook her head. “No. I always had the kids and after they...after what happened I know if I see one of those things, I’ll freeze like I did he night they broke through. I can’t.” Her throat tightened and she felt like the walls were closing in just at the thought of it. “I want to help but not like that.”

Denise’s inner psychiatrist recognized the woman’s reaction as familiar. That need of justifying the abuser’s behavior –maybe because of learned helplessness, maybe to honor memories of a better time–, even after they weren’t in their lives anymore. Pete was a bad guy, yes, but it was his husband, in the end. And a good doctor. The best doctor Alexandria ever had.

An insecure chuckle followed Jessie’s question. Despite Deanna’s words of encouragement when she announced her that she was going to have to take over the infirmary, she still felt that that place didn’t belong to her. “Well, I’m all we have, now.”. She looked at the floor for a second and swallowed to collect herself, “So… yeah, I guess I’ll have to get my hands dirty… figure of speech, of course.” She responded with half a smile.

        The last thing she wanted to do was justify how Pete treated her or the kids but she could not help but remember the time before the world turned. He was a different man. “He was one of the first people to know in his hospital, you know. About the outbreak. He was in a really good position there so I guess when they told the hospitals, he knew. That’s how he found this place so quick.”

       Jessie gave Denise a smile, a genuine one, and gave her arm a gentle squeeze for comfort. “You’re not just all we have, Denise. You’re all we need. I know you are a great doctor and you do, too. At least, I hope that you do. And if you need help, I’m here. I’m not sure what I can do but I’ll try my best and make sure that some of the pressure is off you or a bit.”

❛ now i know that   your friends   ‘round here are probably PAINTING me out to be this .. asshole that goes ‘round batting the SHIT out’ta people .. ❜ a hand gestures about , almost of its   own accord   , with no care in the world . which is pretty fucking funny , seeing as he has a   community   to run , and these little ISSUES —— such as ironing out alexandria just were   part   of that JOB . ❛ .. they’d be half right , i am far from   an asshole   , i’m pretty fuckin’ REASONABLE . ❜

@fxrmerstylist / starter call .

     Hearing what happened to Glenn and Abraham terrified Jessie but what continued that fear was knowing that this man, the one responsible for all that, was now in control of their community. “They are painting you out to be an asshole that just beat two of our family members to death. What makes so reasonable? I don’t think killing two people to prove a point is even close to reasonable.”

      “That’s right.” He turned to face the woman in front of him and he gave some type of a smile but he was mostly trying to register where he was because it all felt surreal. Jeff dragged his fingers over his hair and nodded his head, “Yeah, Deanna took me to their house. I didn’t stay very long. Wanted to see my place. Looks pretty nice. Place is fucking nuts though.”

         Jeff looked up at the sky then he looked toward the water, watching it closely, he raised his water jug. This was too hard to adjust to, everything was so comfortable and the people were so fucking friendly. He hadn’t met people like this in a very long time. 

      It was so rare to reunite with family in the world now which is what made it all the more fantastic and extraordinary when it did happen. For Rick, Carl and Judith, she was ecstatic. “Yeah, it is,” she answered with a more genuine smile, “but it’s also a pretty great place. It’s not only that but we can have a normal here. Everyone can. Just think, your little niece can grow with this place instead of watching everything die. It’s hopeful.” 

send me a url and I’ll answer | accepting | @singlesighted

my opinion on;

character in general: I love Carl! He is one of the most complex characters in the show and the most complicated. I particularly love in the earlier seasons how he was struggling with the world and how it was changing him and his development since then. I’m a huge fan of Carl!how they play them: ah-mazing. Such a great portrayal and I love reading your threads.the mun: such a sweetie! they are really nice and are one of the reasons I bought back my Jessie blog so thank you! 

do i;

follow them: alwaysrp with them: at any chance I will get. We don’t have a thread but I want one!want to rp with them: YESship their character with mine: ew no. Carl is underage and Jessie banged his dad so nope.

what is my;

overall opinion: muse portrayal is absolutely amazing and I think they are genuinely nice person so I think everyone should follow!

Denise put aside the pot where she was disinfecting some medical supplies when she heard someone coming into the infirmary. “Hey.” She greeted the other woman. “Good. Band-aids are always useful.”.

She walked towards Jessie to take a look at what she had bought. “It would be nice if someone with medical knoledge went on the runs,” she said, glancing over the items “that way it’d be easier for them to know what to get.”

      Even though she had not spoken with Denise much, she remembered what Pete had always said. The woman was nervous but had potential to be a great doctor. Jessie had hoped that a partnership between her husband and the younger doctor would relieve some of the stress and make things better. That never happened. Part of her always thought that Pete didn’t train her enough so he had use. “They might not help much but it’s still a medical supply and the kids could always use them.”

      Denise was right. “If you wanted to go on a run, they’d let you. If not, you could make a list and pass it out of people who go on the runs. I’ve done it once or twice and they deliver if they can. It is getting harder out there. We’ll probably need to make our own stuff soon.”

          Too many things had happened in one year and yet Jessie still looked stuck. It wasn’t her husband’s death what she grieved but the loss of her two sons. Eventually, the leader had stopped thinking about that night. That was until Glenn and Abraham were taken away from them. That was when nightmares came back and when the image of Michonne’s sword piercing through the older Anderson’s chest became recurrent in his mind. 

          Rick listened to her in silence. She had to move on at some point, right? Especially with the upcoming war at their doorstep. “You won’t be stuck forever.” He said quietly, eyes locked on the piece of wood with Ron’s name carved on it. “When Lori– when she died, I thought there was no way out. That I would never get over it. But I did. Carl did. It will never stop hurting but, trust me, you’ll learn to live with the pain.”

     The deaths of Glenn and Abraham was just further proof that all that the world had for everyone was just ore death. Walkers or people...it ended in the same thing. She couldn’t help thinking about Maggie and how she would be raising her child without Glenn. It was a shame and a devastation. 

   Looking over at Rock, she wanted to give him a smile but couldn’t find it in her to make that happen. “When will that stop?” she meant the question because she had no idea of the answer and needed some guidance. “You got over it because you still had family around you. Carl, Judith, Glenn, Maggie...all of them. They’re your family and they helped you get through this. I don’t have that. I know to live with the pain but it is crippling me.”

      There weren’t many other parents in Alexandria but the ones that were in the small little town, they were all close. Jessie had never really connected to any of them. That was partly because her own children were never connected to any other kids. They spent a lot of time with kids who didn’t have parents like Enid and that made her proud. When the new group came in, Ron in particularly got quite attached to Carl Grimes and was always asking to have him over and she would always accept. After the death of Pete, he stopped but Jessie wanted to encourage their friendship so invited Carl and his mother over.

    “Ron really did love spending time with your son, he’s just going through a hard time like Sam is but he was closer to his dad, He...he’s having difficulty adjusting. It means so much that you agreed to let him come over and that you came over as well. Thank you.”

      It had been a year since the walkers had come through the walls and all Hell had broken loose. A whole year. It felt like so much longer. Every single day since that night she would go to her children's grave and just be with them. Today was harder but she still went. She promised herself and them that she would. Just before she was about to leave, she turned and saw Rick. They had barely spoken to each other since that night. 

    “A whole year.” She said quietly. “It doesn’t feel any different than it did when it first happened. Things have changed and grown but...at the same time, it seems as if I’m stuck in this grief. That I’m stuck in that night.”