First World Problems

I have to get dressed so that I don't look too lazy when I go out to pay the gardener.

I cant find the right balance between my fan and my electric blanket.

I went to go babysit for an hour and the kids didn't know what their own wi-fi password was.

I type so fast that my expensive fake nails keep hitting the wrong keys.

The only power socket near my massage chair is "Plasma Display Only".

I want to enjoy my beer in the garden but the wifi doesn’t work out there.

I get embarrassed while I watch the maid wash my dirty lacy underwear that require to be handwashed.

Another Asian person set next to me on the bus. Now people probably think he's my dad.

I can’t fit a cocktail table in my family room because it blocks the foot rest on my reclining sofa.

I quit segregating the white from the colored laundry as a protest against linguistic ethnocentrism, but now my nice white shirts are all dingy.

I want to start smoking to complete the “Disenfranchised Poet” look that I have been cultivating with my wardrobe. But I hate the smell of smoke, and the e-cigarettes require a USB port to charge and I have none available on my PC.

Every time I download a language learning app in order to be able to order food 'authentically' at my favorite ethnic restaurants, the waiter asks me to confirm my order in English.