✨ life is very beautiful ✨

[few days later]

romeo: lmao you realise i fucked about three other girls whilist with rory?

romeo: all in a span of three days, and then i also made her friend remember how sex felt

anya: I had heard

anya: whatever. what's done is done and all we can do is move on, right?

“you know what, that’s fair.” rory hummed, looking down at her scuffed shoes, sighing a little. “everyone’s got their shit to deal with and he’s certainly no exception. but, yeah. just…um, don’t even worry about anything. about me and him, i mean. it’s all good.” a lie, but. whatever.

“okay...?” the confusion only intensified as she continued trying to decode what she was trying to say. the conversation seemingly took a different turn as each word was spoken. “I’m glad it’s all good then.” her smile forced.

romeo: i don't think you're getting my point anya

romeo: you wanted me to kiss you. you don't just want friends to kiss you.

anya: [...]

“look, hon, i don’t care if you’re just friends or not, i said that already.” rory shook her head, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. she didn’t know what else to do with them. “you guys could’ve been fucking since before we got together, it doesn’t matter. just - look. he’s a wild dude and should come with a warning label.”

her fingers quickly ran through her hair, trying to push the unruly curls out of her face as she listened to the girl. “we haven’t.” her voice soft and timid. why do you feel that you need to assure that so much? “I...I mean I know he has his problems but we all do, don’t we?” what the hell is she getting at?

and with his life intact - boyfriend secured, best friend and his close friend having a friendship brewing, even his career taking off, there was a no drama taking place for once in eros’ life. when he heard the voice turn around and saw that it was anya, he quickly recalled the brief twitter incident the two had. usually one to stand his ground and deliver comebacks like it’s nothing, when confronted in real life by someone out of anger, he tended to behave with cowardice. “uh, don’t know what you’re talking about, onion. or was it anchor. or whatever your name is..shouldn’t you be kissing girl’s boyfriends? ya know, something you’re used to?!”

her blue eyes rolled as he continued on his little games. arms were crossed and pressed against her chest tightly, as if it was her shield. “my name is anya. it’s not that hard to remember.” the malice behind her voice unnatural to her. “you have no idea about the context of anything. and, to top it off, you accused me of sleeping with him. I admit, we kissed. it was wrong. but we did not sleep together. so...just fucking stop, okay? you don’t know everything. hell, you don’t even know the half of it!”

romeo: no like i shouldn't have kissed you.

romeo: i never broke up with rory and i shouldn't have done what i did

romeo: so i'm sorry

anya: I didn't expect you to break up with her

anya: but thank you

anya: [...]

“i do know that,” rory said, sighing. “i wouldn’t want him if he wasn’t good. but - he’s a good person…sometimes he just does bad things.” she moved her hair out of her face, hated the blonde again and didn’t know when she was going to go back to herself. “i don’t - look. just friends, or if you like him, whatever. i don’t care. just be careful, okay?”

anya nodded softly, finding herself fiddling with the loose threads from her flannel. fiddling was her usual default when nerves began to bubble to the surface. bad things? what the hell is she talking about? her eyes met with the other’s again, feeling those nerves continue to rise like an over shaken soda can. “I-we’re friends.” she was quick to jump onto her accusation. though, she wasn’t quite sure what she felt. “be careful? I-I’ll be fine?” the look of confusion resting on her features. 

romeo: ah so y'know i messed up the other day

romeo: so i'm sorry

anya: you didn’t, though

anya: you have nothing to be sorry about. I promise you that.

anya: it was me.

romeo: um hi

romeo: how are you?

anya: hi

anya: I'm alright.

the laugh that came out of rory’s mouth was this bitter, bark of a thing, a sound she didn’t like one bit. “relationship? fuck, that’s such a stretch,” she said, shaking her head as she looked down at her shoes before back up at the girl in front of her. “he and i are a fucking mess, okay? whatever it is we have going on, it’s not good and him kissing you was the absolute least of our problems.” she hadn’t meant to be so honest, especially to a stranger, especially to someone she was supposed to be angry with. but it came out and there was no way to take it back.

“oh....” her voice trailed off into the air. the dark vibe around her words put anya on edge. even through all of the confusion, the messy emotions, they were still talking about her friend. sure, she knew they were fighting but they way rory spoke, it was worse than she was lead to believe. “like I said, just know it wasn’t out of malice. we’re just friends.” are you trying to convince yourself or her? “he’s..uhm, he’s a good person. just know that.”

“look -” rory stopped herself, bit down hard on her lip, the skin around her teeth turning white. she was more nervous about anya hating her than anything else; about what romeo could’ve said about that fight, how he could’ve twisted rory into the bad guy that this time, she knew she wasn’t. “i know…i know, okay?” she decided on, which - no tact, perfect. “i’m not mad about it. i don’t even care?” and she didn’t. “it’s not a big deal. he’s -” she stopped herself from saying ‘he’s done worse than kiss another girl’, but she didn’t want to get into it. “just don’t even worry about it.”

eyes grew wide as the other began. the lump in her throat was forming evermore obstructive. you’re an idiot. now she’s going to scream at you or something even more awful. however, when she stated that she wasn’t mad and that she didn’t even care, a quizzical relief came to anya. “I’m still so sorry. you may be alright with it but I’m not alright with imposing on your relationship like that.” she stated, hoping her words were properly used. “I promise, all I feel for him is friendship. we both were just in a bad emotional space and it happened. I’m sorry.”

wanting to stay but feeling the need to go, made him very conflicted. he didn’t know what would be better still, he stared at his feet in thought, “i’ll um text you later.” just stay, go on. his mind was egging him to comfort her but his touch is what got them here. it shocked him. he had hit his girlfriend only hours before hanging with anya, and even though he wasn’t aggressive to her, he almost feels like he was because his touch was still wrong. he rose to his feet and adjusted his shirt, taking a small glance back at her before he wandered out of her room, and out to his car. 

there’s nothing more the girl wanted to do than vanish. blend into the walls and never be able to be seen again. tell him you want him to stay. just tell him everything. what are you so goddamned afraid of? “o-okay.” she nodded softly, her words not representing the thoughts flying through her mind. teeth dug into skin as she found herself biting at her knuckles, a coping mechanism developed over the years. her head only lifted to see him give her one more glance. don’t leave. the absence of his silhouette was heartrendingly obvious. head fell into her hands as anya let out the emotion that had been building up inside her. what the fuck have you become?