Damn Dixon

The bright headlights of one of the trucks flicked on as soon as Rick and a few others from his group came running right into the trap. They were carrying a women on a cot, who didn’t look like she would make it through the night if she didn’t get help fast.

This was the moment Negan was waiting for, this was where he was ready to make his point clear.

The whistling grew louder and louder as the saviors surrounded Rick’s group, they came from every angle, all holding their weapons up ready to fight.

Simon had emerged from the crowd and demanded the weapons be removed from Rick and the rest of his people. I could see panic across Rick’s face, sweat was dripping down his forehead, and even more so when he realized his friend was already submitting to the saviors.

Eventually, everyone was on their knees, they knew something that would change them forever was going to happen.

Dwight was ordered to open the doors of another vehicle, which released other members of the group.

I held my breath for a second as my stomach dropped to my feet. The man that was pulled out first, I knew him. He was bloody and had a blanket wrapped around him. This to me was a sign that I was doing the right thing with the saviors in this moment.

Simon knocked on a trailer and the man of the hour was about to appear, Negan himself. He had Lucille over his shoulder, as always, and of course had a smart remark ready.

“We pissin’ our pants yet?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

He began making his threats and barking orders at Rick, who didn’t respond. This would only make the matter worse.

“This is Lucille and she is awesome.” Negan introduced his bat as he held it up, making sure to show it to each member of the group.

Negan had pointed the bat towards the sick women, which triggered a reaction from a man to the right of her. They must be in a relationship, close friends, lovers, possibly husband and wife. I wasn’t sure, but I was certain that this would make this event much more tragic than originally planned.

Negan began whistling again, and before I knew it, he was playing eenie meenie miney moe with his bat pointed in the face of who was to die.

Everyone was sweating and shaking, including me.

Negan was nearing the end, with the words “and you are it.” The bat was pointed in the face of a large, red haired man, who stood up to Negan like he wasn’t afraid.

Negan had lifted his bat above his head and was ready to swing down crushing his skull.

“Get ready ladies.” I heard a voice come through my earpiece. I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded my head. I moved my gun slightly through the tree leaves making sure to not make much noise.

I held my breath, put my finger on the trigger, and pulled. Multiple other guns had gone off with mine, all from different directions.

Negan fell to the ground, lifeless, as blood escaped his head and made a puddle around him.

Rick’s group was ducking and running for cover and I’m sure the saviors would think he had something to do with this.

I watched Simon fall to the ground, but he was still alive. I aimed towards him to try and take him out, but I couldn’t get him. I moved on to other targets taking them down.

They couldn’t figure out where we were firing from, and it was great, watching them run in fear.

Saviors began escaping and getting in the trucks, those who were still alive at least.

Once they had gone I slung my gun over my shoulder and began climbing out of my tree post. Just as I was doing so, the rest of my group was joining me. Some coming down from trees like I did, and some coming from hidden spots in the forest. I looked around and made sure none of my people had been taken out, and to my surprise, everyone was accounted for.

“Good job girls, I’m so proud of us.” I said as we ran to the center forming a group hug.

“Who are you.” Rick said as he emerged from the forest where he and the rest of them were hiding.

I tried avoiding eye contact with the man in the blanket, Daryl. We had met at the very beginning, but I had decided to leave and go on my own.

“Free.” My friend stated as she extended her hand to shake Rick’s.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The man with the red hair had asked.

“We used to be Negan’s property, but we can’t be anymore.” I smirked as I nodded my head towards him. “Now we better get out of here before they come back with bigger weapons and more people. We can help you get to where you’re heading. Looks like a few of you need a doctor.” I offered with a smile.

“How many walkers have you killed?” Rick asked us.

“I don’t know, tons?” My friend shrugged.

“How many people have you killed?” Rick asked.

“Well all them.” I said looking around at the bodies, my eyes lingering over Negan’s longer than the others.

“Would you wanna be part of our group?” Rick asked and the rest of the group looked at us hopefully.

I turned around looking at the rest of the girls. “We have nowhere else to go.” I shrugged. The rest of the girls nodded and that was that.

—————————————————

“Hey.” I smiled as I knocked on the door of the recovery room of the hilltop.

“You gonna get up and leave again after all this is over?” Daryl said as he turned away from me.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” I sat on the side of the bed he was laying in and he scooted away, which caused me to sigh.

“Look I left last time because what’s the point of being with someone when the world is like this? I couldn’t give you my entire self knowing that one of us might be gone the next day.”

“I thought about that night ever since it happened, you told me you loved me and you were gone the next morning.” He finally turned back towards me, pain obvious in his eyes.

“But I still do.” I said as I put my hand over top of his, but he pulled his away and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah well we don’t need none of that.” He grunted and looked away from me.

“Daryl, don’t you get it? We were brought here tonight for a reason. Everything that just went down in the woods was supposed to happen. This is how we were supposed to meet again.”

I heard him sigh and I looked up to see his eyes closed and his hand pressing against his forehead like he was in deep thought.

“I thought you were dead.” He finally spoke after what seemed like minutes.

“So did I.” I looked away from him and back to the floor as I remembered everything that happened between me, Negan, and the rest of the Saviors. “I thought about you everyday, I made a mistake.” I whispered.

He then looked up and grabbed the both of my hands and held them in his own. “Look, Y/N, maybe you’re right, maybe you left that night so you could save me today. I don’t know how none of that shit works, but what I do know is that you’re here now. You better not take off again because I don’t think I’ll survive without you.”

I didn’t say anything else, I just laid in his arms as he held me, wiping tears off of my face.

The sun was just starting to come up, peaking through the branches of the trees that were straight ahead. The light shed through them so beautifully, and the world seemed so quiet and peaceful.

I sat and admired the sunrise, picking at my hangnails without realizing it. I watched the way the sun made shadows on the ground and the way the sky changed color.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I heard a faint noise that was undoubtedly from someone who is no longer alive. This had brought me back to where I really was in the world,which is a watchtower at a prison.

All I did was sigh as I watched the walker roam through the trees and into the grass, stumbling around and roaming pointlessly.

“Times up sunshine!” I heard a voice yell from the bottom of the latter. A cross bow came swinging up and Daryl quickly followed behind it.

“See anythin’ good last night?” He asked with a crooked smile. I just shrugged and grabbed for my gun, ready to be off guard.

“Well I’ll see ya later, that is if we’re still on fence together?” He smiled at me again and I nodded, and then climbed down the latter.

I always felt bad when I didn’t speak back to Daryl when he talked to me, he was different from the others. Something inside of me wanted to try to respond, very much unlike with everyone else.

Back at the barn with Maggie’s family, my sister had been bitten, and the group left her behind, including me. Ever since that night something inside of me wouldn’t let me speak. No matter the situation, I had no will to open my mouth and use my voice. I couldn’t forgive myself for leaving, I thought about it everyday, which dug me deeper into silence. All I wanted was to go back and save her, but what’s done is done, and she’s gone.

It had been almost a year that’s passed since I heard the sound of my own voice, and I couldn’t fix it.

Daryl’s the only one who still talks to me like I’m speaking back, he hasn’t given up, and he shares the pain I feel. He understands what it’s like to know someone was left behind, because the group did it to Merle too.

When the others try to talk to me they don’t know how to handle it, so they smile and go about their business, leaving me standing there feeling helpless.

I walked back to my cell with my head hanging low and occasionally kicking rocks along the way. I decided now was a good time to take care of my weapons considering I’ll be on fence duty tonight. I cleaned my gun and sharpened my knives while I waited just to pass the time.

Cleaning my weapons didn’t take as long as I had intended, so I thought exploring the prison might be something else to do. I didn’t worry much about going out by myself considering it was clear for the most part, so I set out.

The halls were dark and the pipes were dripping, causing puddles to form all over the place. There wasn’t much to look at around here, it was dark and gloomy, much like my own thoughts.

I had come up to an intersection, and before I knew it, a walker was right in my face. Considering it was such a sudden action, I wasn’t ready and I was startled. I was struggling a bit to keep it off of me, but once I pushed it hard enough I had time to reach for my knife, stabbing it in the brain.

It fell to the ground and I felt my back hit against the wall, and my body went sliding down it, slowly, until I got to the floor. My knees were held tight against my chest and when I looked down I could see a faint reflection of myself in a puddle on the ground.

I looked older, worn, and was starting to look like one of them. I instantly became angry, an emotion I had felt too often, and stomped on the puddle, ruining the mirror effect it had on me.

I decided exploring was over for me, and I was just going to hop onto fence duty early since I didn’t know what else to do with my time. Eating or sleeping were out of the question, both I couldn’t seem to do properly.

***********

“He sunshine you’re here early.” Daryl said as he approached me from behind.

I just gave one quick nod and kept looking out into the distance, looking straight out into what felt like absolutely nothing to me.

“I didn’t see much up there either today.” Daryl remarked as he played with one end of the stick used to kill the walkers.

“Sometimes I just think there isn’t much.” He added to his last statement. This caused me to turn and raise my eyebrow, feeling like he read my thoughts, but I turned away and looked back out.

He just chuckled for a second, causing me to look back again. I gave him a look, he knew that it meant ‘what’ without me having to make any more gestures or facial expressions.

“Nothin’ darlin’.” He said smiling, which made me try to smile, even though it was small and weak.

“There ya go, I see you wanton’ to smile.” He smiled bigger at me and I just quickly looked away. He made me feel things other than angry and upset, but only occasionally. He made me want to try.

“I’m gonna tell ya somethin’ it’s gonna be alright, you’ll be able to do it one day.” He said and put his hand gently on my shoulder.

I turned to look at him, and something inside me wanted to say something back, so I opened my mouth to try. Nothing happened, it felt like my stomach had dropped to the ground and my heart was stuck in my throat blocking my voice.

I was embarrassed that I couldn’t do it and turned back towards the fence.

“It’s okay, I know.” Was all he said after that.

The two of us sat there, waiting for walkers, waiting for the sun to set, I wasn’t sure at this point.

Soon enough the sun did start to set, and all that meant to me was another day of unspoken words, unspoken thoughts, and unspoken feelings. I was, in fact, the definition of a disappointment.

“Beautiful tonight, makes me forget sometimes.” He said as his head tilted up and his arm rested on his knee.

Once again the sound of the undead interrupted a moment like this, causing me to become angry. It was headed right for us, so I stood up and got my spear ready.

“It’s alright darlin’ I got it.” Daryl said standing up next to me.

I pushed his spear back down and turned to face the walker. I killed it with no problem, quickly and easily.

What got me was when I saw the next one. It was wearing a shirt that my sister used to have, which made me feel every emotion possible. I didn’t wait for it to come to the fence, I started running towards the gate.

“HEY! Y/N! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?!” Daryl yelled as he started running after me.

Before I knew it I was outside, forgetting about protection, I let all my guard down. The feeling was different, it was like everything was happening in bursts. The gate flashed before me, flashes of blurred trees, and then the walker. I continued to stab it even though I knew it was already dead.

And that’s when I felt arms wrapping around me from behind, forcefully, but protectingly.

“Y/N, it’s okay. Calm down.” He said as he held me in his arms.

I felt myself pulling him down to the ground with me, falling back into his arms. And it took me until now to realize sound was coming out of my mouth. Screams and sobs were projecting out and it was the first time in almost a year that I had heard my own voice. It burned and ached, but the feeling was amazing, I had broken a wall that I was so afraid to break.

“Daryl… Daryl..” I whispered in between sobs, gripping onto his shirt and pulling him closer.

“It’s okay.” He said as he smoothed the hair down over my head.

“Thank you.” I replied and he nodded his head and held me there until I was ready to go back in the walls and to my cell. ____________________________________

“Groups of two, find somewhere safe within eyeshot.” Rick demanded the rest of us who were left in the old dusty barn. This new guy Aaron sat with his hands behind his back, looking up at Rick in fear.

I understood why Rick was being so careful, especially after what happened recently at Terminus and the church. I couldn’t blame him for not believing Aaron, and especially after we just lost Beth and Tyrese, we were in no position to lose another.

My gun was already sitting in my hand and I was ready to go. I turned and headed out of the creaky barn doors, right behind Carol.

Eugene was right behind me, followed by Carl.

“Hey! Y/N, wait up!” Carl said jogging to catch up with me. “Will show me how you do that one thing when you hide in the trees like that?” He asked as his eyes lit up.

“Just climb and be quiet that’s all really.” I said shrugging and laughing. I knew that he had tried multiple times before, but he was always so noisy.

“Sorry bud, she’s comin’ with me.” Daryl said and slung his arm around my shoulders.

“That’s not fair, you guys are always partners.” Carl whined rolling his eyes.

“That ain’t true, she didn’t come with me to get water the other day, Carol did.” Daryl said back cocking his head toward Carol, who had a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, but Carol didn’t give you a choice.” Carl argued back.

“Hey, you got her next time, I have dibs on you.” Tara said extending her fist for Carl to bump it.

“I guess.” Carl sighed and lightly bumped her fist.

Daryl and I kept walking and found a good spot to cover. We all surrounded the barn so there were no surprise attacks from anywhere, one of us would have to see them coming, that is if someone actually was coming.

“Alright my bluebird, get up there and keep a high watch. Let me know if ya see anythin.” Daryl said.

He always called me that, his bluebird. When they found me, they found me in the trees, which was like a safe place for me. In my time in them, I found that walkers couldn’t climb, you could see farther, and you were mostly hidden from people.

I sat with my sniper up and watched through its scope, like I would if I had binoculars.

“Daryl?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yea?” He responded and looked up at me, with his hair partially covering his eyes.

“Do you think this guys serious?” I asked as I leaned my head against a branch.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want you anywhere near him until I know for sure. You’re gonna stay right by me until we know.” He said looking away from me and back out into the woods.

“But what if this is a chance for us to actually be safe for awhile?” I asked as I too looked away, but instead of looking into the woods, I looked into the horizon.

“Maybe darlin’, but my main priority is to keep you safe, so if I sense anything wrong we ain’t goin’.”

“We’ve been out here too long.” I whispered more to myself than to him, but he looked up at me and grunted anyways.

*******

Hearing Rick say that we were leaving for this camp at sundown made my stomach churn. I hated night travels, and especially considering that we could potentially be targets made it even worse.

Rick decided who was going with Aaron and who went on the RV, and for some reason Daryl and I didn’t get separated this time.

Glenn, Michonne, and Rick went with Aaron and the rest of us climbed into the RV, ready to go to this camp which Aaron called ‘Alexandria’.

I took my seat close next to Daryl and across from Carl, who was holding baby Judith. Nobody was really talking, the only sound I could hear was Eugene humming to himself. Daryl’s thumb traced small circles on my thigh as I watched out the window.

It wasn’t long until I heard Abraham mutter “Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Gabriel asked worriedly.

“We lost them, they went right through that damn herd.” He hissed and smacked the steering wheel.

“What do we do?” Carl asked with worry in his eyes.

“We’ll find them we just have to stay calm, we just keep going.” Rosita said with her voice high and shaky.

“We’ll find them.” I reassured Carl.

We kept going for about a mile and a half until I thought I saw something shoot up in the air.

“Wait, did anyone else see that?” I asked as I pointed out the window.

“That was a damn flare gun, follow that shit now. If it wasn’t them that shot, chances are they think we did, and they’re followin’ too so let’s get a move on.” Daryl said standing up and slinging his crossbow on his shoulder.

We drove until we got to where we estimated the shot would have been, but it wasn’t Glenn, Rick, or Michonee, it was a man we’ve never seen before, he reminded me of Aaron.

There was a large tire rolled on his ankle, and I immediately knew it was broken, it was obvious by the way his leg was twisted. There were a few dead walkers around him and I knew that even though we were supposed to be cautious we had to help him.

Abraham got the tire right off while Maggie hurried to examine his ankle. Daryl and I kept a close watch on the man, and the surrounding area, while everyone else remained in the RV.

***********

After about an hour, everything was finally settled, and I was laying next to Daryl in what was like a safe house. Mostly everyone was asleep by now, except Rick, Daryl, and I.

Rick was keeping a close watch on Aaron and Eric, and Daryl seemed to be keeping a close watch on me.

“Daryl?” I asked as I rolled over on my side to face him.

“Yea darlin’?” He whispered as he turned his head.

“I hope this is real. All I want is to be safe with you, protected from everything.” I said as I played with a small tear in his shirt.

“I know bluebird, I just don’t want nothin’ to happen to ya, and it’s hard because I don’t know what will if we go through with this.” He said as he pulled me close to his side.

I laid my head on his chest and shut my eyes for a moment and then spoke. “I know so much bad has just happened, but I don’t think we should pass up an opportunity where so much good could happen.”

“Nothin’s sure.” He reminded me as he kissed my forehead, his scruff brushing my skin.

“I know Daryl.” I said placed my hand over his chest.

“Well maybe one thing.” He said, his eyes now closed too.

“What’s that?” I asked as I looked up at him, taking in all his features.

“That you’re mine, mine to love and to protect, and I ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to ya.”

“I love you Daryl Dixon.” I said placing a small kiss on his neck.

“I love ya darlin’.” He smiled and placed another kiss on my forehead, but before he could completely pull away I pulled him on and placed a kiss on his lips. _______________________________