summary: when harry and remus are back from hogwarts, there is a clear tension between the student and his godfather. so when sirius bribes harry to tell him what's going on, he reveals that he caught remus kissing the new charms professor.
wc: 4k+
cw: some suggestive themes, kissing, professor x professor relationship, sassy harry
charms professor!reader
The savoury scent of something warm and homemade filled the air of the Potter Manor, though the atmosphere that accompanied it didn't match. All throughout dinner, neither Harry or Remus looked at each other, the student and his godfather worrying the three other adults sat at the table. It was Harry and Remus’s first night back from Hogwarts, and as per usual, a celebration was in order. However, a somewhat awkward silence overtook the dining table as Harry and Remus silently poked and prodded at the food on their plates, accusing words lingering on the tip of their tongues.
But as Lily squinted her eyes, staring at her son and her best friend, she realised that it wasn’t anger left between them. No, it was humiliation.
Shame.
Guilt.
“What’s going on with you guys?” Lily finally interrogated, putting her fork down. Remus and Harry, sat opposite each other, looked up at each other in unison before glancing down at their food again, voices squeaking in synchrony as they yelled “Nothing!” Sirius scooted his chair closer to Harry, ducking down and stage whispering, “I’ll get you tickets to the Chudley Canons game next month if you tell me.”
Remus ducked his head with a sigh, knowing the agreement him and Harry had come to was instantly broken. It didn't matter how ashamed Harry was of his own actions, or fearful that his parents might find out — the reward was just too great.
“Uncle Remus has a crush on the new charms Professor!” Before his friends could comment, Remus huffed, countering with “Harry almost got expelled last week!”
The gasps around the table doubled in volume, three heads across the table shooting back and forth between the two men, the age gap between them forgotten as they snitched on each other like twelve year old boys. James’s jaw was slack, and he calmly put his utensils down. “Okay, hold on.” But Lily had already cut in, pointing an accusing finger at Remus. “I knew you had a crush on her!” Harry slumped in his chair in relief, but his mother wagged a finger at him, saying “I’ll get back to you later, Mr. Potter.”
“Wait, all this awkwardness just because you have a crush on someone?” James laughed, stabbing at a piece of sweet potato on his plate. A silence fell across the table once more. Remus was glaring at Harry with a warning intensity James, Sirius and Lily hadn’t seen from him in years. Harry’s lips parted, before he shut them closed again. “Remus…” Sirius teased, reaching across the table to poke his friend in the arm. Remus’s face went red, his hard front breaking for just a second — long enough for Harry to admit “I caught them snogging in his office!”
“For fuck’s sake, Harry!”
Truth to be told, Remus didn’t know why he didn’t tell his best friends about you sooner. He had always been open with them about his romantic life, but for now, he wanted to keep you to himself, away from any judgement. It was all just, so new.
It started at the beginning of the school year, which was almost ten months ago now, when he had noticed a new figure figure coming to sit at the staff table. You looked professional, all poise and stern expressions, but when you had introduced yourself to him as the new charms professor “because Flitwick can only handle so many students” as you had said, something else had come through.
A kindness that was rare to find. A mischievous glint in your eyes.
So Remus made it his mission to be your friend, or at least a friendly face in the crowd of much older staff and students near half your age. He knew you were younger than him — you were a student at Hogwarts, but not whilst he was there — and yet it only made him more intrigued. The students caught onto this blossoming friendship immediately, asking Professor Lupin (Hogwarts' token favourite teacher), about you.
The newbie. Fresh meat.
But more importantly, you were the newbie Professor Lupin approved of — perhaps as something even more than a coworker.
To the students of Hogwarts, you were strict, setting homework once a week and not letting anyone leave the classroom until everyone had at least cast the spell correctly once — which usually wasn’t a problem because you were that great of a teacher. Similarly to Remus though, they saw something in you, like the way your lips tugged upwards when playful banter filled the classroom, or how you turned your back to them when someone made a dirty joke, trying to hide your delighted chuckle. They softened you over time, showing you that sternness wasn't required for greatness.
Remus answered the questions he got from his students in the most professional way he could, saying “She’s a brilliant witch” or “She could definitely beat me in a duel” which sometimes concerned his students as he was their defense against the dark arts professor. But the questions only got more vigorous after he walked into your classroom one day while you were teaching the same group of seventh year students who relentlessly asked him about you.
“Oh sorry.” Remus said, freezing in the doorway of your classroom at the realisation that he had barged into the middle of your lesson. You smiled fondly, eyes softening at the sight of him. “It’s alright, Professor Lupin, come in.” As he walked into the classroom, he took note of how all the desks were pushed to the side, some students sat on the floor whilst others stood proudly, attempting to cast the newest spell you had taught them. It was a tricky spell, and Remus was impressed with the number of students who so effortlessly cast it with a quiet whisper and a subtle wave of their wands. You had morphed their messy spell casting into one of elegance that only masters could acquire. Subtlety that would be hidden from duelling partners, potentially saving lives.
What Professor Lupin didn’t notice was that nearly everyone halted their work, listening in on the conversation between you. “I think these may have slipped in with my papers when we were marking essays together the other day.” Remus held out a couple of essays for you to take and you thanked him with a smile, oblivious to the eyebrows raised around you.
“Has Professor McGonagall given approval of the trip for the seventh years?” Remus nodded at your question, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried remembering the date. “She’s given confirmation for november 10th, and we need parent signatures by october 30th.” You nodded, absentmindedly flicking your empty hand in your direction, prompting a pencil and notebook to fly towards you from your desk.
If your students weren’t interested before, they sure were now. Wandless magic wasn’t common in the wizarding world, countless wizards who tried to conquer the feat giving up when no signs of magic appeared. It was difficult to control; it was majestic. “November 10, october 30th.” You mumbled under your breath, jotting down the information as you swayed from the balls to the heels of your feet.
“Okay, so can we do the assembly for it next week then?” You asked, continuing to write things down. “Yeah, I’m free for first periods all of next week but tuesday.” You nodded, raising your voice by the slightest bit to ask your students “When does the year group have a free period one?” The response was instant, and you raised an eyebrow, suspicious that they had been listening in on your conversation.
“Alright, perfect.” And as Remus left the room, everyone dropped their wands to bombard you with questions about your wandless magic. “Get used to doing non-verbal spells and then we can discuss wandless magic.” You told them, turning around at the feeling of someone staring at you. Harry Potter. Remus’s godson, if you weren’t mistaken. Besides him, the two students you had never seen leave his side, gossiping excitedly, the curly-haired girl shooting the ginger boy next to him a pointed look whilst nodding her head in your direction.
That afternoon, Harry burst into Remus’s classroom, immediately asking “What’s going on with you and Professor l/n?” Remus looked up from where he was grading papers and ran a hand through his hair.
“What?”
“It’s so obvious you like her!" The seventeen year old started, slumping down in the chair facing his godfather's desk. "I bet you even took those essays from her just so you had an excuse to come into her classroom.” Remus shook his head, deciding not to answer his godson as he continued marking papers.
"Oh don't ignore me! Even Hermione was saying that she saw you guys walking together by the black lake and can I just say, you sit next to her at every single meal. It's not subtle."
Then, the best thing that could have happened to Harry did. The door opened, and in came the familiar voice of his charms teacher. “Hiya Remus. Oh sorry, I didn’t realise you had company.” Harry grinned widely, looking back at his godfather with a knowing look on his face. Harry opened his mouth, ready to tease, but Remus was already spoken.
“Don’t be. He’s just here to bother me.” You giggled at that, the sweet sound causing Remus to perk up happily. Harry’s eyes went wide at the view, and he held back a grimace. No way did you have that much of an effect on Remus. “Well Harry, since you’ve got so much time on your hands, I’m assuming you’ve finished my essay?” Harry’s face went red and he spluttered, trying to find an excuse. Remus laughed loudly, raising his eyebrows at Harry.
“It's due tomorrow, isn't it?” He asked, and you nodded, walking deeper into Remus's office, taking a seat next to Harry. "I have loads of time, then." He dismissed with a wave of his hand. Your eyebrows rose at his words, mildly amused at the casual conversation he partook in.
"Harry." Remus warned, attracting the eyes of his godson, who finally took pity on him. "Yeah, fine, I'll leave." He mumbled, dragging his feet out of the office. As the door slammed shut behind Harry, Remus felt his cheeks heat up at your individual presence. It had become such a familiar thing to him, and yet every time he found himself alone with you, he felt more nervous than the last, trying to find new ways to relate to you.
It didn’t stop him from finding excuses to be with you alone though, slipping to Professor McGonagall that doing curfew rounds would be enjoyable with someone he could talk to about things, like the upcoming seventh year trip. Even as he gave McGonagall his poor excuse, and she shot him a knowing look, he shot her a grin, sighing in relief when she jotted his name down next to yours on the curfew plan.
“And here I thought your casanova days were over, Mr. Lupin.” Remus had blushed furiously, but thanked her nonetheless as he left her office. He made sure to thank her again a few weeks later, when the curfew rounds had proven to bring you closer to each other, not shying away from cozying yourself into the older Professor's side, muttering something about the cold. Every time, Remus wrapped an arm around your shoulders, his warm arms bringing you a comfortable heat that your abandoned jumpers could never achieve.
It seemed that this yearning wasn’t one sided though, because it was only a week later that you poked your head through his classroom door whilst he was teaching, your footsteps quiet on the stone as you entered the room. Remus was sat on his desk, a smile on his face as he spoke to his students about something that didn’t relate whatsoever to the subject he taught. He didn't know why he entertained their ideas, and yet, he never tried to stop it.
As he caught your eye, lingering in the back of the room, he rolled his eyes playfully, finally bringing his students’ attention to you. “It’s always this class, isn’t it?” He complained jokingly. You hummed in agreement. “Perfectly confident speakers and yet horrible essay writers. One would think those went hand in hand.” You laughed as the students all began talking at once, coming to their own defence, and approached Professor Lupin.
“Would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow morning?" You asked in a low whisper, the students' chatter giving you the briefest moment of privacy. Remus froze, a flush overtaking his features at your invitation. "I need to grab some things for my upcoming lessons.” Remus nodded, enjoying the secret conversation amongst the room of students.
“Oi, would you stop flirting and make a move already!?”
The room burst into a fit of laughter and Remus furrowed his eyebrows. “Detention, Harry. And whilst you’re there, you can finish last week’s essay you never gave me.” The class ‘oohed’ at Remus’s instant reply, and he ignored his godson’s immediate complaints. If Harry thought he could be the only pain in the ass in this room, he thought wrong. Remus squinted at his godson before turning to you, sending you an apologetic look. You smiled at him, taking a seat next to him on the spacious desk.
You leaned in closer to Remus, bringing your voice down to a whisper as you nodded towards a few students in the back of the classroom. They thought they were being subtle, but the slow movements of their hands only caught your attention, the sound of creasing parchment painful in Remus's ears. “Passing notes. Should we have some fun?” Remus nodded eagerly, and you pointed your hand in the direction of the note being passed around, wiggling your fingers slightly. A squeal caught the attention of the other students, who watched as the folded parchment flew across the room into your hands.
“Any guesses for what’s written in this note?” You asked, and immediately, someone yelled “A love confession!” You and Remus chuckled quietly as you unfolded the piece of parchment. Your shoulders stiffened as you read the recognisable messy scrawls of two of your students.
‘theyre so into each other it’s actually embarrassing’
‘they need to fuck and get it out of their system’
‘professor l/n? nah, she's giving more like professor lupin’
‘i’m sayingggg’
'theyre my dream age gap relationship'
'yeah this is the height difference i deserve'
'i bet they make out in his office after hours'
'dudeee curfew rounds too.'
'nah i don't think so bc they have their own rooms'
'oh. i see.'
'sex all night every night'
'its okay. as long as theres a ring on her finger by the end of the year.'
'lol, i think we'd know tho. bc right now the sexual tension is through the roof'
You hummed, folding the paper back up. “Not a love confession.” “Disappointing really” Added Remus with a snort.
“Right? Tell us something we don’t already know.” Remus’s eyes widened and a gasp was heard from the back of the room. You stared at the parchment until it caught fire in your grip, the paper turning into ash in your hands, which you instantly wiped away with another spell.
“Tell us something we don’t know.” Remus echoed, and you turned to face him, feeling suddenly confident. “Well, we have known, haven’t we?”
“I have. Wasn't aware you did too.”
"Interesting bet though."
"Yeah, we could probably push things in their favour."
You hopped off the desk with a shrug of your shoulders, nodding towards the students who had been exchanging the note. “You two, come with me.” At once, both students began apologising, “Professor, we’re so sorry, we didn’t-” “We didn’t, it wasn’t-” Your laughter interrupted them as you repeated, “Come on.” and that’s how they knew they weren’t really in trouble. After all, you had received one too many detentions as a student because of exchanging notes in class, and you wouldn’t cause the same misery upon your own students. Especially not when it came to pondering about your Professors' private lives.
Remus let his students leave after that, but they all insisted on knowing what was in the note. He didn’t tell them. Obviously. But he spent the rest of the day thinking about what you were like as a student. He had his mischievous moments, getting in trouble for the pranks he plotted with his friends, missing assignments dates because he didn't want to do the chapter readings. But what were you like? Were you one of the girls who giggled with her friends in the back of her classroom? Or did you write notes down vigorously, showing the teachers you had their respect until you could finally speak your mind when you left the classroom? Fuck, did you sneak out past curfew to find some broom closet to make out with your boyfriend in?
Remus briefly wondered if he should ask Professor McGonagall about you. Or at least, if she would approve of the two of you together. Did she think you'd make a good match? When she taught you, was she reminded of him due to any similarities? Or were you both stars waiting to collide?
There was so much to you Remus hadn't discovered yet.
And that's when it struck him, in a moment of panic and awe. He had agreed to go to Hogsmeade with you. He had agreed to go to Hogsmeade with you and he had agreed that ‘they need to fuck and get it out of their system’. When he had agreed that 'the sexual tension is through the roof.'
It only dawned on him then, sitting alone in his classroom. You had openly stated that it was something you knew. That — fuck, did that mean you wanted to fuck him? In secret passageways when you should be doing your curfew rounds? Late at night in his private quarters? All night every night?
Remus almost stood you up the next day, just in fear of having to face you again, the knowledge of your desire for each other out in the open, introducing a game of 'who would make the first move?' But he forced himself to find you at Hogwarts’ entrance hall nonetheless. You straightened up when you saw him, and Remus genuinely didn’t know what overtook him, but one moment he was standing across from you and the next he was cupping your cheeks and pressing his lips onto yours.
You gasped into the kiss, but brought your hands up to Remus’s chest, hands curling around the collar of his shirt, peeking over his thick jumper. Remus broke away from the kiss, his eyes going wide. “I’m sorry, I don’t know wh-mmph-” He was pulled into another kiss, eagerness shining through it, your lips steady against his. Your lips separated from his with a loud smooch, and you immediately looked down at your feet, suddenly shy.
He caught a glimpse of the real you, just then.
Remus chuckled, the shyness on your face reflecting your youthfulness, and he softly pinched your chin between his thumb and index finger, encouraging your head up so he could properly look at you. He leaned down, capturing your lips in one last, short kiss, before pulling away again and saying “Come on, you need to get some things from Hogsmeade don’t you?”
Your trip had been quick — you only had one hour to spare before you both had classes to teach — but you couldn’t help but get distracted along the way, Remus stealing kisses from you, knowing you’d have to be discreet with them upon your return to the castle. You stumbled into alleyways with a rebellion Hogwarts Professors couldn't show, but desperate lips had found each other and portals were opened to glimpse into each other's past. You weren't the careful kind as Hogwarts students, neither of you. But as Professors? You were. At least, for as long as possible. You were careful all the time, kisses shared in either of your classrooms only lasting a couple of seconds as the weeks went on.
You saved the affectionate moments for nights when you’d sneak away to Hogsmeade, in the corner of the three broomsticks or hidden away at hog’s head pub. Or for nights when he'd knock on your door, poking his head in to find you still marking papers. He'd distract you then with loving kisses and gentle hands.
But Remus just couldn’t help how nosy his godson was.
The door to his office had been locked — for good purpose too. But Harry had tried the door handle once then decided that coming into the office while Remus wasn’t there couldn’t hurt.
Except, it did a little, because the office wasn’t empty. No, Remus was there, holding you in his arms as he tilted his head to the side, lips locked with your in a passionate kiss — a good snog, Harry called it later, when telling his friends the story. His friends, who would promise to keep their mouths shut, despite the rumours that were spread around the castle the next day, as though they didn't already exist.
Somewhere in the castle, your seventh year student was pocketing the three galleons she was promised — easiest bucks she had every made, all thanks to a silly bet. But your relationship went further than exchanging kisses behind closed doors. On most nights, Remus slept in your bed, arms keeping you snug against him. After full moons, it was you instead of Madame Pomfrey tending to his wounds, leaving kisses on the tender skin and offering to cover his lessons the next day instead of Professor Snape. Over the next few months, you had warmed up to your boyfriend's godson, exchanging playful banter with him whenever he walked into Remus's office to find you there instead.
But Remus wasn’t going to give Lily, James and Sirius that entire explanation, and he surely wouldn't tell them about how he had strictly told Harry not to utter a single word about you to his parents or Sirius. He wouldn't tell them how Harry had furrowed his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders as he said "Why? They'd all love her." Nor how on the way to the Hogsmeade train station, Harry called out for you, jokingly pleading for you to meet with his godfather at least once a week over the holiday, otherwise he'd be unbearable. He wouldn't mention how you had laughed, and Remus had caught up to you, shamelessly pressing his lips against yours for all the students around you to see as he whispered in your ear that he'd see you after tomorrow.
No, Remus wouldn't say anything. Not when the lights in the room were so bright and everyone felt like teasing, no wine in his bloodstream yet to ease away his humiliation. He would only tell them by the fireplace when Harry went to bed, admitting to them that he didn’t want to scare you off. He’d tell them that you were new to him, younger than any girlfriend he ever had, which made him afraid.
He'd share the rest of his fears too.
Like the irrational worries asking if you would get along with Lily, even though she was seven years older than you? Even though she had a teenage son, who you taught on a daily basis? Would you laugh along with Sirius's jokes, giggling at Remus's expense when embarrassing stories were told just for the sake of bonding? Would you accept the most vulnerable stories James would share, his emotions loud and proud, exchanging ones of your own despite the difficulty? Or would you be a stranger, closing in on yourself at their intimidating personalities, scared away by Harry Potter who would take every chance to poke fun at his two professors?
So for now, Remus settled with “Harry almost got expelled last week.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
synopsis: after being brutally rejected by James Potter, the last thing you expected was for him to show up in your common room—grinning, holding a bouquet, and calling you his girlfriend.
warning: cursing and kinda yearner james
i accidentally made him a yearner because i couldn’t stop picturing that one scene of ATJ in kickass LOL
“Sorry, I just don’t see myself liking fairies,” James tells you, right after you’ve finished confessing your long-standing, deeply rooted crush on him—one that’s been quietly blooming since second year.
The two of you are alone just outside the Quidditch pitch. He had just been practicing with the entire Gryffindor team when you suddenly asked if you could talk to him for a moment. A few Gryffindors had gone, “Ooooh,” or exchanged glances with smug, knowing smirks.
It’s no secret that James Potter—Quidditch Captain and Gryffindor’s Golden Boy—has a long list of admirers at Hogwarts. With his easy-going nature, magnetic charm, and that infuriatingly boyish smile, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t found him attractive at least once. It doesn’t help that he’s genuinely good-looking. The only real flaw, perhaps, is that he’s arrogant, a bully, and a bit of a troublemaker. Still, even that doesn’t stop some girls from loving the thrill of “fixing” the bad boy.
You never really expected him to accept or say that he saw something between the two of you. But still, you didn’t expect this to be his response to your confession.
“Fairies?” you ask, confused. “What do you mean?”
Fairies?
What does that even mean?
He visibly looks awkward before scratching the back of his neck and saying, “You know… really beautiful people, but that’s it.”
You stare at him, confused—and now slightly offended. “Pardon?”
Did he just say you had no personality?
He just sighs and mutters, “This is what I mean…” He continues, “You already know what I mean. Don’t make me hurt your feelings more—then you’ll go telling people I gave you some confusing reply.”
He says it, and all you can do is stare at him with the most offended, confused expression you’ve probably ever made.
You couldn’t believe this was real. Sure, you admit it—you knew he wasn’t going to accept your confession. He was most likely going to reject you. But not like this. He was always known as that really nice, one-year-above-you senior. You didn’t expect that this was how he actually talked.
Can someone really be this full of themselves?
To think that if someone got rejected by them, they’d automatically go around badmouthing him?
That was exactly what you remembered happened last year—when you confessed to James Fleamont Potter about your childhood crush on him.
It was short, bittersweet, and you were ruthlessly rejected.
So why, exactly, had one of your housemates just barged into your room saying that James Potter was waiting for you downstairs… with flowers?
You look at her, confused. “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”
“I’m serious! He’s been standing there for a couple of minutes now—some students are already starting to form a crowd!” she says, her hand still gripping the doorknob.
The two of you just stare at each other for a moment—your eyes narrowing with suspicion, hers wide with urgency, silently begging you to believe her.
Then, you throw on your student robes and rush out of the room together, heading straight for the common room.
When you finally reach the common room, the first thing you notice is the crowd of students gathered near the door, all looking and whispering about something.
“E-Excuse me,” you say. “Please let me through…” you continue as you try to push past the sea of people.
Did no one have classes today? Seriously.
As you finally make it through, your eyes land on the man of the hour—leaning casually against the wall, one hand tucked into the pocket of his robes while the other holds a bouquet of flowers.
He’s staring down at them, looking at each petal as if counting them. But then, as if sensing your gaze, he lifts his head, turns in your direction, and locks eyes with you. His eyes widen—then he grins and immediately jogs over.
“Fairy! I’ve been looking for you!” he calls, picking up his pace before stopping right in front of you—and wrapping you in a hug, right there in front of everyone.
Shit.
He pulls away, and you just stand there, frozen. You don’t even return the hug—you’re still too stunned to move.
He pouts. “Why didn’t you visit me? I missed you,” he says, then offers you the flowers. “Here. Flowers for my beautiful fairy.”
You take them slowly, glance at them for a moment, then look back up at him—still stunned.
Then, without warning, he cups your face—both hands gently resting just below your cheeks—leans in, and presses a kiss to your forehead.
Your eyes go wide.
And it’s not just yours. All around you, you can hear it—the gasps, the stunned whispers. Some girls are even tearing at the sight, as if their world had just ended.
James Potter isn’t in some temporary fling, this isn’t a will-they-won’t-they with Lily Evans again.
No.
He has just publicly declared, to the entire student body of Hogwarts, that Gryffindor’s Golden Boy is officially off the market.
He then looks at you, still grinning. “So, what time are your classes again? Want to sit in the courtyard while we wait?”
You look at him, now slightly confused. “Uh…”
Before you can respond, someone running towards you cuts off your thoughts.
“Prongs!” the person yells again, sprinting over—two other boys close behind him. You squint to get a better look, and sure enough—it’s Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew.
James turns towards the voice and, upon seeing Sirius, waves brightly. “Padfoot!”
Sirius finally reaches you, parting through the crowd as he pushes forward. Once he and the others are close enough, all three immediately fix their eyes on James.
“We’ve been looking all over for you,” Sirius says, slightly out of breath. “You’re not even supposed to be out of bed yet, remember?”
Remus and Peter stand on either side of him, also panting, clearly having run all around the school.
James just laughs. “Poppy said I could go early. Said I heal fast,” he says with a grin, flexing his right bicep for emphasis. Then, he casually throws an arm around you. “Also, I wanted to visit my fairy.” He turns to you, smiling as he gently tightens his grip on your shoulder.
His response makes all three of them look at you—each with a different reaction, but confusion is the most obvious. They glance at one another, then at the lingering crowd still watching everything unfold.
“Hey, Prongs…” Remus is the first to speak. “Can we borrow, uh… Fairy? Just for a quick talk. Won’t take long.”
He steps closer as he says it, and James looks at him, puzzled.
“Why? I’ll just come with you guys. It’s not a big deal.”
“No! Uh… Wormtail… has something to talk to you about,” Sirius says quickly, throwing a pointed look at Peter.
Peter stares back, blinking. “I do?” he asks, which earns him a sharper look from Sirius.
“I mean… yeah, I do! It’s kind of a thing only you can help me with, so…” Peter adds, hoping he doesn’t sound suspicious.
James raises an eyebrow at them but eventually shrugs. “Okay,” he says, then turns back to you. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah? We have a lot of catching up to do.” He caresses your cheek gently before winking.
You, still slightly frozen, can only respond with, “Y-Yeah. I’ll see you… later?”
He grins, then walks away with Peter. You’re still watching him when Sirius and Remus come closer—Sirius lightly taking your arm.
“Haha, yeah. Just talk to her later,” Sirius says, waving back at James, who waves one last time before disappearing down the corridor with Peter.
Once they’re out of sight, both boys turn back to you. “Can we talk somewhere more private?” one of them asks, casting a glance at the students still lingering nearby, though the crowd has thinned.
You just nod. “S-Sure. We can go to the covered bridge. No one’s usually there at this hour.”
They nod, and you lead the way—both of them walking silently just a few steps behind. The air between the three of you is tense and awkward, thick enough to cut with a knife.
You still can’t believe what’s happening.
What was up with Potter? Why did Black and Lupin want to talk to you? Why did he call you Fairy when that’s not even your name??
A hundred questions circle in your head as you finally near the covered bridge—and just like you said, there’s hardly anyone around this early. When you all get there, the three of you just stand in silence for a few seconds before Sirius finally speaks up.
“So… you’re Fairy?” he says, arms crossed, staring straight at you.
You stare at him before replying, “If you mean my name is fairy, then no.”
He squints, narrowing his eyes at you. “I meant—you’re Prongs’ girlfriend. The one he’s apparently had for a couple of weeks that none of us knew about.”
His words make your eyes go wide, and instinctively, you throw your arms up near your chest, as if that could shield you from the absurdity.
“Whoa! I am not his—or anybody’s—girlfriend. I barely even know the guy!”
“You’re not his girlfriend? Then why did he say you were?” Remus jumps in quickly, eyes narrowing slightly.
You all stare at one another for a tense beat, glancing between faces. And then, all your heads click into the same thought.
“I did not give him a love potion!”
“You love potion-ed my best friend!”
“You gave James a love potion, then?”
All three lines fly out at once.
Sirius pointing accusingly at you, you flailing your hands wildly in protest, and Remus standing there with arms crossed and one brow raised.
“Then…” Sirius stands up straighter. “Who are you to Prongs?” he finishes.
“I…” you start, trying to find the right words. “He rejected me last year, if that counts as being something to him.”
They both stare at you, visibly confused by your answer. You got rejected by James and now you’re his… girlfriend?
“Wait…” Remus says, brows furrowing as something clicks in his head.
“Didn’t Madam Pomfrey say something about possible distorted memories? Since he got hit in the head really hard by that quaffle?” he continues, turning to Sirius—whose eyes widen in realization.
“I’m sorry, but who was hit in the head?” you ask, completely lost.
“Prongs was—last week, during the match with Slytherin…” Sirius says, his tone shifting into confusion. “How do you not know that? It’s been a pretty big deal all week.”
You just shrug. “I’m not a Quidditch fan.”
They exchange glances before diving right back into the earlier conversation, discussing everything Madam Pomfrey had told them—the possible outcomes of James forgetting or misremembering things, how there was even a chance he’d forget his name or his friends entirely. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Only the first part though.
You suddenly cut in, realization hitting you like a train.
“Wait. Are you saying Potter thinks I’m his girlfriend?”
Your voice snaps them both out of the conversation, pulling their full attention back to you.
“Yes—but it’s fine! It’ll just be for a few weeks—” Sirius starts, trying to reassure you that the situation is temporary.
“No way,” you interrupt sharply, immediately turning on your heel to walk away from the madness.
There was no bloody way you were going to pretend to be the girlfriend of the same guy who rejected you. Especially not now, when you’ve finally moved on from him.
They chase after you instantly. “Wait!” they both shout, jogging to catch up to you.
Once they do, Sirius starts again. “It’ll just be until he gets his memories back on his own. We promise.”
“I don’t care. I’m not doing it,” you say, still stubborn, still walking. You turn a corner without slowing down.
Sirius sighs and turns to Remus.
“I just realized this must be why he couldn’t name who ‘Fairy’ was—because he didn’t even know her name at all.”
Remus gives him a look, then replies, “Realize things later. Right now, we’re convincing her.”
And with that, they break into a jog again—just in time to see you turning another corner. You’re speed walking now. You have free period and your classes are done, so you’re heading back to your common room.
“Please reconsider,” Remus calls out. “Madam Pomfrey said it’s not advisable for us to interfere with how he regains his memory.”
You glance at him, before sighing and suddenly stopping—making them nearly crash into each other trying not to bump into you.
“And what is advisable?” you ask, looking at Remus directly.
“That we don’t tell him anything too stressful. Madam Pomfrey said any added pressure might worsen his condition.” he answers calmly.
“And the news that his girlfriend isn’t actually his girlfriend is… kind of stressful. I’d be going insane if I were him,” Sirius adds with a shrug, which earns him a glare from you.
He shuts his mouth, then offers a sheepish smile.
You look at the both of them, arms crossed—still unconvinced, but clearly thinking it over.
“We’re pleading with you here,” Remus says. “We know it’s a little weird, but honestly—what isn’t weird at Hogwarts?”
“It’ll just be a few weeks. Or days, even! Prongsie does heal fast—according to him, at least!” Sirius chimes in.
You’re still staring at them, and just as you’re about to speak—
“Also, being Prongs’ girlfriend is a title every girl in Hogwarts would die for,” Sirius mutters under his breath, and you immediately glare at him then start to turn around again.
“No, no, no! Come back! I was just joking!” Sirius says quickly, reaching out a hand.
Remus simply watches him, sighs, and rolls his eyes.
This tosser.
You turn back around, staring them both down.
“Fine. But only because Madam Pomfrey specifically said those things,” you say. Then, you continue. “Not because of… that.”
You finish with another pointed glare in Sirius’ direction. He just flashes you a sheepish grin again.
“Fairy!”
All three of you are suddenly interrupted by someone calling you. You glance over Sirius’ and Remus’ shoulders—and there he is.
Your apparent boyfriend.
—
Just a day after that, the news had already traveled all around Hogwarts that James Potter was apparently dating a girl no one even knew existed. And by that, they meant you.
You weren’t known as the smartest, like Evans. You weren’t considered one of the prettiest, like anyone from the Black family. You weren’t even a well-known Hogwarts Quidditch player.
No one knew who you were.
So—who was Fairy?
You weren’t aware of any of this yet. You were just heading out, having just finished getting dressed and about to make your way to the Great Hall for breakfast. You told your friends to go on ahead, saying you’d answer their questions another time because you weren’t quite comfortable yet. Truthfully, you just didn’t think it was your place to explain James’ situation.
“Good morning, my fairy.”
The moment you opened the door, the first thing you heard was his voice—the one you now knew far too well.
“Potter!” you exclaim. “W-What… are you doing here?”
You look at him and see him leaning against the wall, just like yesterday. He’s already in his Gryffindor robes, hair still a mess—like he just rolled out of bed.
Has he been waiting for you?
“I’m walking you to breakfast, obviously,” he says with a slight tilt of his head. Then, more pointedly, “Did you just call me Potter?”
You, now slowly walking towards him, glance up. He waits for you to catch up, and the two of you begin strolling together, side by side. His question still lingers in the air. Oh. Should you be calling him something else? Like… what?
“Sorry, uh…” you cough lightly, “love, I didn’t sleep well last night,” you say, deciding on that nickname—because that’s what people in love call each other… right?
He goes quiet. The two of you continue down the corridor towards the Great Hall. There are barely any students around—most of them are already eating. You’ve always been a bit late anyway, so it feels normal to have a few quiet moments before the noise.
Then suddenly, he turns to you with a smirk. “I’m your love now, huh?”
You look at him, confused. “What?”
He grins wider. “Thought you said you weren’t the nickname type? You used to only ever call me James. What changed?” He leans into you, bumping your shoulder like he’s teasing.
“Am I… making you change your ways, fairy?” he whispers in your ear.
Your eyes widened at the way he said it. And before you know it, you shove him away and start walking faster towards the Great Hall. You don’t notice it—but your ears are now the faintest shade of pink.
He laughs at your reaction, finding it adorable, then jogs to catch up.
“Wait for me, love!”
“Sod off, Potter!”
—
You told yourself that you weren’t going to fall for this again.
For him, again.
“And that’s another ten points to Potter!” screamed the Quidditch commentator as James scored once more, causing the crowd beside you to erupt in cheers. You were sitting in the Gryffindor stands because James had asked (begged) you to come. He insisted that the reason he was hit last time was because his “lucky charm” wasn’t there.
Of course you weren’t there. He hadn’t even known who you were.
And yet… you didn’t tell him that. You’d reluctantly agreed, which meant cramming all your homework the night before just so you could make time for James’ game.
“Potter gets the quaffle again, now zooming past the Ravenclaws—will he score another go—He did! Potter scores another goal for Gryffindor! What a game!” the commentator shouted as James’ name echoed across the pitch once more.
James immediately began scanning the Gryffindor stands, eyes darting as though searching for something—or someone. Then he spots you, locking eyes. He then grins and points right at you.
Your eyes widen, and you instinctively shake your head slightly, mortified. James only laughs at your reaction.
“Oh! Looks like Potter is dedicating that goal to someone—who is… his lucky charm?—wait, no, my partner just told me that it’s Potter’s Fairy! Woo!” the commentator cackles, his partner whispering excitedly beside him to clarify just who you were.
The moment the announcement was made, the Gryffindor crowd exploded again. People beside you began pushing playfully at your shoulders, cheering for you, teasing you, all in good fun. James’ “dedicated” goal had now turned you into a minor celebrity. You smiled at them, laughed along with the teasing, trying desperately not to let the heat rise to your cheeks. You were not going to make this a big deal.
You were here to help him recover. To keep your promise to his friends—that you wouldn’t stress him out. That you’d go along with it until his memories returned. And when that day came, you’d forget this ever happened.
That’s what this was supposed to be.
It’s just…
Maybe you were starting to wish it would all be over sooner, because if this went on any longer…
You weren’t sure you’d be able to stop yourself from falling for him all over again.
—
“How long are you going to write that? It’s been hours,” James complains, watching as you scribble another paragraph for your Potions homework.
“As long as I need to, Jamesy. There’s no time limit when it comes to finishing homework,” you reply, skimming over the last paragraph before adding a transition to connect them smoothly.
He just groans again and lays his head down on the table. The two of you are currently in the library. You’d both just finished classes, and he was about to invite you for a walk around the Black Lake—until you told him you were going to finish assignments that weren’t even due for another three days. He’d grumbled at first, clearly displeased with the idea, but eventually gave in, realizing this was the only way he could spend more time with you.
“I’m surprised you didn’t have practice today. I thought Quidditch was like your number one priority,” you say, glancing at him before returning your attention to your parchment.
He gasps dramatically, placing a hand over his heart.
“How dare you?” he says. “Spending time with you is my number one priority. Quidditch is only a close second.” He grins at you.
You make a face at his words before looking up from your work, you punch him playfully on the shoulder.
“Eugh! You’re so cheesy!” you say, scrunching your nose at him.
He laughs, rubbing the spot where you hit him. “I’m not kidding. You’ll always be my priority.”
“Pfft—stop it!” you say, punching him again. “I doubt you even know me that well to say things like that.”
His right brow arches. “Oh? Are you challenging me?” He shifts into a mock-thinking pose, arms crossed. “Let’s see… First off—you like doing your homework way earlier than anyone else in your year,” he says, gesturing toward your parchment, making you giggle.
“You… like arriving late to the Great Hall because you enjoy the silence in the hallways when you walk. You like putting your hair in braids when it gets too hot. You love talking about your family—especially your four dogs…” he goes on, and now you’re smiling, looking right at him.
“Now let’s get into what you hate... hmm,” he muses, tapping his chin. “You hate people telling your stories for you—that’s why you never do that to others either. You hate anything too sweet, especially sweet coffee, because in your words—‘that’s not the purpose of coffee!’ he mimics in a high-pitched tone, trying to sound like you, which makes you laugh.
He carries on, “You hate it when someone uses something and doesn’t put it back where it belongs. You hate running out of ink—so you buy ten bottles every month, just in case. And…”
He leans in closer, the space between you two vanishing, and suddenly it’s just you and him, smiling at each other.
“…You hate knowing that I’m right about everything I’ve said so far,” he finishes, grinning at you.
Then, without another word, he leans in—and kisses you on the lips.
You’re the one who pulls back first, both of you staring into each other’s eyes. His hand gently caresses your left cheek.
“I should’ve never rejected you.”
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by what James just said.
“What did you just say?” you ask, now slowly leaning back.
His eyes widened. “I mean—”
Before you can hear another word, you gather your things in a hurry and speed-walk towards the library doors.
“Fairy, wait!” you hear him call out behind you as you rush through the halls toward your common room. Tears are building at the corners of your eyes. Luckily, no one’s around to see it—because if anyone did, you just know this would be all over Hogwarts by tomorrow.
Someone suddenly grabs your shoulder, spinning you around—of course, it’s James Bloody Potter.
He stares at you, eyes pleading. “Please, let me expla—”
“Explain what?” you snap, your voice raising in frustration.
“What I said earlier, it’s not what it sounded like.”
You just stare at him, giving him the chance to explain himself.
“I really, really, really do like you. It’s why I never brought up that… I’ve already remembered what reality is. What you and I actually are,” he says, voice soft, almost desperate. “I know it’s selfish. I know I’m in the wrong…” he trails off.
“But I didn’t want to lose you…” he finishes, his hands now resting gently on either side of your arms.
You just look at him, tears in your eyes as he gazes back at you with those soft, pleading eyes of his. The hallway you’re currently in is quiet—only the two of you, and your voices, would be heard if anyone happened to walk through right now.
You take a breath first before asking, “How long… have you had your memories back?”
He just looks at you, silently begging you not to make him say it. But you shake your head and ask again.
“How. Long. Potter.” You say each word with heavy emphasis.
“…I got them back the night before our game with Ravenclaw,” he admits, still holding onto you.
“Argh!” you push his hands off your arms, clutching your things tightly to your chest as you storm off again—this time faster, heading toward your common room.
“No! Please, just give me another chance—” he calls, catching up to you easily and wrapping his arms tightly around you from behind as you struggle to get free.
“Let go of me, Potter.”
“No. Not until you hear what I have to say,” he insists, still holding you in his arms.
“I’ve already heard what you had to say—and I don’t want to hear anything else,” you say, still struggling.
You can hear his ragged breathing near your ear as you swipe at your tears. “Y-you rejected me… y-you said I-I had no substan—”
“I was wrong. I was so wrong,” he interrupts. “You’re vibrant, sweet, funny, and kind.” His head drops near your shoulder.
“So, so kind… please…”
You try to breathe properly as his words trail off. His warmth surrounds you as he continues to hold you from behind, your tears silently soaking into your hair and robes as you struggle to steady your breath.
“I’ll…” You slowly pull his arms off of you, taking a deep inhale as you try to calm yourself. You turn around to face him, and see that his eyes are red now too, his breathing heavy. You swallow hard before speaking, “I can’t. Not right now… I just… I want some distance between us.”
As soon as you say it, he looks like he wants to object—but then he sees your state. He takes a few more deep breaths, trying to ground himself.
He reluctantly nods. “Okay. Take all the time you need.”
—
It had been a few weeks since that day.
As you predicted, rumors had indeed started swirling around Hogwarts about your supposed breakup with James Potter. The theories varied, most suggesting that James simply wasn’t enamored enough to stay—though you were convinced those were mostly crafted by his more obsessive fangirls.
Just like James had promised, he gave you all the time and space you needed to clear your head before speaking to him again. Still, every now and then, he’d send you a letter just to remind you that he was still waiting. Sometimes, you could feel his eyes on you from across the Great Hall, the Courtyard, the Library... even while walking the hallways. And yet, every time you glanced in the direction of his gaze, he was already looking elsewhere.
You were now walking towards the Quidditch pitch, remembering that James once told you they held practice every Friday after classes. When you finally reached the changing rooms, you approached a player whose name you didn’t know and asked if he could call James for you. He looked confused at first, then his eyes widened slightly as he seemed to recognize who you were, nodding quickly before rushing off.
As you waited outside, you heard a chorus of playful “Ooooh!” followed by James yelling, “Buzzer off, you wankers!”—which was followed by a round of muffled laughter and teasing.
He appeared moments later, scanning the area before spotting you tucked in a corner.
“Hey…” he greeted you with a smile.
“Hey,” you replied, smiling softly back at him.
There was a pause, just a few seconds of quietness before—
“So…” you both began at once.
“Oh no, you go first,” you said quickly.
“No, you go. I’ll just listen,” he insisted, nodding for you to continue.
You smiled again before glancing at the ground, your hands slightly clammy from nerves.
“I’ve thought about it and…” you started, “I think we should move on from everything that happened.”
You raised your head to meet his gaze. James was watching you closely, giving you his full attention.
You continued, “It’s not fair for either of us to stay hung up on a ‘relationship’ that started from something as absurd as memory loss. We both deserve to go through all the cute little things—the awkward first dates, the late-night talks, the butterflies—before being in a real relationship. I don’t want either of us to miss out on that. I’m really sorry.”
You finished your piece and waited. You were bracing yourself for disappointment, maybe even denial—but instead, James just smiled.
He nodded. “I respect that,” he said. “And I hope the person you confess to—or the one who confesses to you—makes you just as happy as I was when I was with you.”
You smiled at that, and almost instinctively, you stepped forward to hug him.
He hugged you back.
A few seconds passed before you both pulled away, exchanging goodbyes. You wished him luck with practice, and he cheekily wished you luck on your walks, which made you laugh.
As you walked away, your heart felt light and a little heavy all at once—happy but sad, calm but kinda conflicted. That was, until you heard that familiar nickname again.
“Hey! Fairy!”
You turned around, surprised to still see James standing in the exact spot you left him. His hands were cupped around his mouth as he called out across the pitch. You tilted your head, confused.
“What is it now, Potter?”
He grinned. “I like you! And I want to get to know you more—over butterbeers in Hogsmeade!!”
Your smile faded, your eyes widening.
What?
He kept going, calling out again with a grin that didn’t falter. “What do you say?!”
You stared at him, frozen—your expression stunned, lips parted slightly. He stood there, just smiling.
A few seconds passed before a grin slowly crept across your face. You laughed, the joy bubbling up inside of you as the words finally registered. He kept grinning, watching your reaction. You cupped your hands around your mouth, your voice carrying back to him.
synopsis: when you accidentally meet harry's parents for the first time, they quickly learn that you're a very sweet girl, but you have a very complicated family. slytherin!reader
✩ concussions and interruptions - You aren’t expecting to meet Harry’s parents for the first time while you share an intimate moment in the hospital wing after he sustains another quidditch injury (❀𖤐)
✩ after curfew - you and harry seem to forget his godfather is doing rounds when you sneak out after curfew (❀𖤐)
✩ it's a date - when harry and his parents see you in diagon alley, they are surprised to see the sudden change in behaviour you have at your parents' presence. but that won't stop harry from getting his kiss. (❀𖤓)
✩ heavy dresses, tight corsets - in the guise of having a sleepover with daphne, you go over to harry's house, where you can finally take this stupid dress off. (❀)
✩ people are watching - it seems that you begin to care less and less who gets to see the true side of your parents. and apparently, so do they. (❀𖤓)
✩ the talk - when james potter catches you and his son making out in his bedroom, he excitedly goes to tell his wife. but he isn't expecting her to call you both down for a talk no one can take seriously. (❀𖤐)
✩ hands full - sex with harry potter makes you lose your ability to think, even when his mother is speaking to him on the other side of the locked door. (❀꩜)
✩ pass the wrench - when james enters his living room and can't find harry to help him fix something, he decides you're fit to help with the job. after all, you're practically already his daughter in law. (❀𖤐)
✩ be my baby - another night at the potter household reveals that you love one of harry's least favourite songs, a.k.a his dad's all time favourite. (❀) COMING SOON
✩ the giant squid - harry and his friends find out you're afraid of the giant squid (❀𖤐) COMING SOON
✩ the glass room - you bring harry and his friends to meet your friend group in the glass room, hidden in the depths of the slytherin common room. (❀𖤐) COMING SOON
✩ in his arms - harry had been right when he told you not to go back home after graduation. but how could you not when your entire history laid there? (❀𖤓) COMING SOON
✩ baby fever - there are too many cute babies in diagon alley, and their innocent smiles and babbling voices make it difficult for you to focus on Lily Potter's story (❀) COMING SOON
summary: draco malfoy? smash. except you say those words a little too loud.
wc: 0.9k+
Immersed in the magazine in front of you, you only caught bits and pieces of the conversation Harry, Hermione and Ron were having around you, the great hall otherwise mostly empty. It wasn’t everyday the three of you had free periods together, but when you did, the conversations were always entertaining.
Especially when Harry started complaining.
You halted your focus on the magazine at the sound of Harry’s sassy and oddly loud voice. It was as though he wanted himself to be heard. Hermione scoffed from in front of the boy and you pulled the corner of your page up slowly, pretending to still be immersed in your reading.
“At this point, Malfoy is just following in his fa-” “Malfoy?” You asked, humming apprehensively, “Smash.”
From the slytherin table, sat right behind you, Draco’s head snapped backwards, his mouth parting in surprise before he forced his features into a confident smirk. Theo, Pansy, Mattheo and Blaise held matching looks at the bombshell you dropped so shamelessly.
A silence overtook your three friends at your comment, jaws slack and faces frozen in shock. “What!?” Harry spluttered. You flicked over to the next page, shrugging your shoulders as you scoffed carelessly. “Yeah, you can complain about him all you want, but that is one attractive man.”
“If you felt so strongly about the matter, you should’ve spoken sooner.”
Your head shot up and you slammed your magazine shut at the familiar voice, your eyes widening in panic. Ron, who sat facing you, grimaced at you softly. Clearing your throat, you spun around on the bench, kicking your legs over its side. Leaning your elbows back on the table cooly, you replied “Why would I have spoken sooner if you weren’t around to hear it?”
Draco grinned and you cocked your head to the side, holding eye contact, challenging him to keep your gaze. It was silent as you stared at each other, apart from Theo’s loud exhale and Mattheo’s chuckle before he turned his attention back to his cup of tea. Finally, Draco gulped thickly, eyes momentarily flickering to look back at his friends.
Humming apprehensively, you stood up, tucking your magazine under your arm and slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Makes sense you’re not a gryffindor,” You started, eyes trained on Draco as he stiffened up. You leaned closer to him, bringing your voice down to a whisper. “Find me when you’re brave enough to do something about it, Malfoy.”
And with a toss of your hair over your shoulder, you strutted out of the great hall, grinning as you heard a clatter of things behind you. Draco rushed to catch up to you, tripping over his feet as he followed you all the way from the great hall to the girls’ bathroom you dragged him into, pushing him against the wall and pressing your lips to his.
Draco groaned, immediately flipping your positions around so he had you cornered between his body and the stone wall, and he separated himself from you momentarily to ask you “What was that you said earlier?” before moving his kisses down your neck and instantly sucking on your skin to leave bruising hickeys that Harry will most definitely question.
“What? Find me when you’re-”
“No, before that.”
“Um, smash?” Draco chuckled against your skin, trailing his kisses back up your neck and towards your lips. “Would you let me take you on a date before that?” You felt your cheeks go hot at the embarrassing whimper that escaped your lips at his question, but nodded your head nonetheless.
Draco pushed himself off you with a satisfied smile, smoothing his uniform down as he stated “Good. Now, I believe you have a lesson.” You gasped deep in your throat at the realisation that he was correct, hearing the halls outside fill with chatter as students were released from their classrooms.
“Sunday. Hogsmeade.” He told you, pushing the door to the bathroom open and walking past the group of girls who were coming into the room, giving him judgemental looks as he passed them. But then they turned to you, and they were immediately gasping at the revelation of you and Draco being together. You giggled nervously, slipping out of the bathroom when they turned to look at each other, the gossip already beginning to spread.
Meanwhile, in the great hall:
Harry’s jaw dropped lower than he believed possible as he watched Draco stumble to reach you. He shook his head “We cannot let that happen.” Hermione scoffed, “Oh yes we can, and we will. I want all the details when they’re done.”
At the sounds of disgust both Harry and Ron expelled from their mouths, Hermione sighed disappointedly. “Right. I forgot you’re not girls.”
“Hey, Granger!” Hermione turned to the voice that had called out her name and she stared back nervously at Pansy Parkinson, who had a surprisingly welcoming smile on her face. “You can come discuss it with us, if you’d like. I’m a girl, and you’d think they are too based on how much they love the drama.” Hermione laughed whole-heartedly as Pansy nodded her head towards the boys around her with a joking roll of her eyes.
“Will that work if we’re getting different sides of the same story?” Hermione questioned, crossing her arms over his chest in mock rivalry. Pansy hummed, standing up and gathering her belongings. “I get his side of the story, you get hers, then we exchange?” Hermione grinned.
“Perfect. But I think she’ll want to join.”
Pansy winked. “Even better, I want all the filthy details.”
pairing : reader x slytherin gang x the golden trio.
warnings : smut - oral (f receiving), teasing, dirty talk, lots of pet names, female reader, draco is an arrogant prick sometimes, talk of virginity, truth or dare games, kissing, voldemort. lmk if i missed any!
a/n : this surprised me as well, i was gonna write some tom x reader smut in this chapter but oh well. hope you enjoy!
────── ☾ ──────
“and what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
ron’s voice was filled with pure hatred, but you couldn’t really react. you stood on the bed, limp, sore. to be fair, you could barely keep your eyes open - and it wasn’t much before they closed and you drifted off.
🤍
when you woke up, which seemed to be quite a while later judging by the darkness piercing through the windows, you spotted tom sitting on your armchair, his eyes carefully scanning the room before he noticed that you had awakened.
“passed out a bit there, have you?” the corner of his lips tilted up, and you couldn’t help but return his smile.
you didn’t know where the others were, but you were grateful that it was him there with you. “is it dinner time yet? i’m really hungry” yawning, you sat up, looking around the room as if still trying to adjust to the artificial light.
and then it happened again. that flicker in his eyes and the way his smirk turned into a soft smile. he didn’t get to say anything, because you decided just then that you’d point it out.
“why do you do that?” your voice came out soft, too soft for your liking. “sometimes you look at me like this and- it sends a shiver up my spine.”
tom was genuinely speechless in that moment, which he never was. he always had some snarky remark or dry chastisement. not now.
he just kept looking at you and not saying a word, which made you go crazy with nerves. shrugging, he looked away for a moment before turning back to you. “i look at you just the way i look at everybody else. it’s nothing special.”
ouch. because yes, you agreed not to speak of these things when you’d entered the ‘group’, but it felt too obvious. you were almost always lost in his eyes, but found a way to see through him. you knew when he would lose composure, and pretend it never happened.
“fine” you cleared your throat, looking at your body and thanking whoever cleaned you up and dressed you, because you really didn’t wanna have to put up with tom’s ‘indifference’. you stood up, brushing a hand over your skirt, before heading towards the door. “i don’t care anyway.”
🤍
after dinner, that was quiet and tense, you all decided to go back to the slytherin common room. nobody was holding hands, draco wasn’t all over ron, enzo avoided hermione’s eyes and vice versa. and to add to it, tom was ignoring you. he never ignored you.
entering the common room, you all sat down, some on the floor, some on the couch, some just leaning against the walls.
you felt guilty.
“i’m sorry we did it without you guys” you looked at the golden trio, and their faces seemed to soften.
ron kneeled in front of you, his fingers grasping your jaw ever so gently. “you didn’t know, peach. it’s tradition at this point, we all want to be there when someone new comes” he turned to glare at the others. “but they knew.”
“i challenged them” you spoke softly, and he continued stroking your cheek, cocking his head to the side as he listened quietly. “can we please forget about it? i feel bad, i don’t want to be the reason you guys don’t speak to one another.”
your ears perked up when you heard someone sigh. theo. “principessa” his eyes moved from your eyes to your lips, then back to your eyes. “you’re right. we didn’t want you guys to feel left out. it just happened so suddenly, and she looked so soft, her skirt had ridden up- you have to understand” whined theo as he looked desperately at harry, leaning his head against his shoulder.
“we understand” hermione was the one to speak this time, and your face lit up when you heard her voice. you had noticed the distance between her and enzo, and you hoped you were not the reason to it. “but we want to be there when she loses her virginity, maybe we’ll even make you watch without touching… you know, as payback.”
wincing at the mention of your virginity, you hid your face into ron’s neck, and his muscular arms wrapped around you instinctively. you felt him laugh, his chest vibrating against your body, making you flush even more. “ronnie” you whimpered helplessly, face beet red.
“oh, look at you, peach” he tsked, brushing a few stray hairs off your face. “let’s not torture the poor girl anymore, we don’t wanna pressure her; how about we play a game?”
the atmosphere seemed to shift for the better once ron mentioned playing a game, and everyone came up with an idea, but at the end, they stuck with the basic one - truth or dare.
“oh i fucking love this” you shook your head at draco as he threw an arm around your neck, keeping you close as he spun the bottle. it kept spinning until it landed on, surprisingly, mattheo.
draco’s grin widened and mattheo pressed his tongue into the inside of his cheek, his lips threatening to tilt up. “truth or dare, riddle?”
“you know me, malfoy. give me the best dare you’ve got.”
“kiss me.”
it all happened so fast, the yearning, the kissing, the biting. their aggressiveness made you weak in the knees - maybe it was the way mattheo pressed his body into draco’s, forcing the older boy to hold himself up with one hand on the floor, or the way draco devoured his mouth, the need to be so impossibly close to one another.
finally, pulling away, they gasped for breath, draco fixing his hair before returning to his spot next to you. you could tell that he was still shaken up, both of them were.
“hot” blaise mouthed to you and your eyes widened, earning a satisfied smirk from the boy.
“my turn” it was mattheo who spun the bottle this time, his eyes glaring at it as if he was trying to control it with his mind.
tom shook his head slightly, giving him a disapproving look. “only i can control it.”
“and i’m an occlumens” he defended, ignoring the bottle that had already landed on you. (occlumens = one who is able to close their mind against legilimency)
“thank merlin for that” his brother scoffed and he rolled his eyes, looking at you for the first time after your ‘argument’, albeit accidentally.
mattheo grinned like a cheshire cat as his eyes finally landed on you, and you bit the inside of your cheek. “y/n/n, i dare you to… make enzo blush.”
the room fell silent. your brows furrowed.
“i didn’t pick dare.”
“i don’t like the tone” he looked at you with mock offense, a hand clutching his chest. “besides, you should thank me. i could’ve made you do it to tommy here” he shrugged and you noticed tom looking at you from the corner of your eye. “merlin knows that one doesn’t have a heart.”
you shrank in your seat, completely ignoring tom’s intense gaze, instead focusing on enzo who was siting right beside you, a sweet, comforting smile adorning his face. “it’s okay, y/n/n. it doesn’t take much to make me blush anyway.”
“ready, then?” you looked at mattheo and he nodded fervently, eyes scanning you whole.
smiling, you leaned in, whispering in enzo’s ear, one hand caressing his shoulders and going up his neck. “and what does it take to make you blush then, sweet boy?” you felt bold, the adrenaline becoming too much. “hm? a kiss? or maybe i could just tease you a bit. tell you what i wanna do to you later.”
enzo gulped and it was almost audible, his hand moving up your thigh, but you still not touching him, nothing more than a hand on his shoulders. “tell me. please, tell me.”
you almost giggled. almost. you felt comfortable around enzo and you really enjoyed seeing him flush. “i want to have you between my legs, to feel your mouth devour me again. i want you to make me so wet for you that when you put it in, i’m all nice and ready for you, baby” you whisper just enough for him to hear, your lips pressing against the shell of his ear before tugging at it, causing the boy to whimper, and everyone reacted to it - gasps and shocked expressions all around, but you didn’t mind. neither did he.
“i bet it would slip right in” you leaned against him, nose against his cheek - his now burning cheek. you smirked.
leaning back against the sofa, you exhaled proudly, and the room erupted into laughter and loud chatter; everyone was either teasing enzo, congratulating you, or both. mostly both.
tom was sitting across from you, and his expression was different than you would’ve believed. he had a proud smirk on his face, his lips twitching as he kept eye contact with you, and your boldness went out the window again. “tease” his lips didn’t move, but you heard his voice in your head. you chose to ignore it until he spoke again. “making him believe he stands a chance at that. you’re so cruel.”
you jolted up, thankful that everyone was still teasing enzo and mocking him. “get out of my head” you whispered dangerously, your heart pounding in your chest.
“you know i could start ignoring you” he whispered too, and this time, his lips moved. “but i’ll still be there. i cannot make you stop thinking about me.”
and there it was again, that damn smirk.
choosing to ignore him, you turned back to the group, your chin resting on top of enzo’s shoulder, the simple gesture making him melt into you, his back resting against you. “that was hot.”
his voice was so small that it made you chuckle before placing a soft kiss on the side of his neck. you didn’t say anything, there was no need to.
everyone went back to the game and after some time it was mattheo’s turn again. oh, merlin.
each of you knew of his intentions, his urge to see all of you pressed up against each other, kissing, biting, blushing. the boy was a menace.
and what was even better? this time, the other end of the bottle pointed at tom, his dear brother.
you could practically see the disapproval on his face after hearing mattheo’s dare. because, of course, when it came to mattheo, the only option was dare.
“i’ll give you a simple one, brother” he smirked, “owl father… and tell him you love him.”
the air shifted and you froze in place. you studied tom closely; his jaw was clenched, and he seemed upset. at least upset. he looked down for a few moments and you could practically see the gears turning in his head. then his eyes lit up.
“surely, brother” he pulled a parchment out of his bag that was thrown under the table, a sign that he had stayed behind studying before dinner. your shoulders released all tension when you saw the way his mood changed. you really thought he would be offended, as tom was not one to speak much of his father.
after a few minutes of writing and paying the owl to send the parchment to his father, the game continued for a few more minutes, before everyone decided that it was too late already and you all headed to bed.
🤍
the next morning was quiet, way too quiet. usually mornings were loud and obnoxious, making you want to make a hole and hide in it until the weekend arrived. only now, you realised that the weekend had arrived indeed.
the clock on your nightstand read 07:34 am, and you groaned into your pillow, cussing you out for not being able to sleep any longer. but after your little drama scene, you decided that it was best to use the time you could’ve been sleeping - studying.
you showered and got ready for the day, then gathered your ‘defense against the dark arts’ books and made your way down to the common room. since mostly everyone was sleeping, you figured you would just study there instead of the library, which was fairly far from the slytherin dorms.
just as you put your books down on the table, you heard shuffling and you didn’t dare raise your eyes towards the sound, you just couldn’t.
the voice that came next made you shiver, your chest warming with relief. theo. “what are you doing so early on a saturday morning, amorina?” his voice was still thick with sleep, leaving you in complete awe when you finally took a proper look at him. he was clad in his quidditch uniform, hair messier than usual and fists rubbing at his eyes in a failed attempt to wake up properly.
you smiled and patted the seat beside you on the large green sofa. theo sat down silently, letting out a helpless whine that made you laugh. "i couldn't sleep, so i thought I'd do a bit more studying," he hummed, fiddling with the hem of your sleeves between his thumb and middle finger. "is draco making you practice early again this weekend?"
theo whined again, clutching his chest, his eyes still only half open. “he is. i’ll give you an even better one. he wanted to start at six, but blaise pretended to feel sick and draco didn’t want his nauseous ass anywhere near his new nimbus.”
the words were emphasised with a dramatic roll of his eyes and you tried your best to keep yourself from giggling, but he was just too cute. “i’m glad my misery is amusing to you” he pouted and you couldn’t help but kiss his pout once. twice. causing theo’s eyes to widen before he grinned dopily, leaning in to kiss you again, this time softly biting on your lower lip.
“blaise was right when he said you tasted good” he licked his lips as he pulled away, his hand still holding you close to his body by your waist. “you know, enzo said that too and-”
“perv” you swatted at his chest and he chuckled, standing up as the other boys appeared as well, a furious draco leading them.
he looked completely exasperated, and judging by the looks on the other boys’ faces, you could tell that he was chastising them again.
“we could’ve been here two hours ago had you not faked being sick” he glared at blaise, who was completely unbothered, and threw his arms in the air. “and you don’t even care!”
“draco, i don’t think waking us before the sun is up is a great idea” mattheo groaned as he fell onto the armchair across from you, his eyes lighting up when he noticed you. “y/n/n! what’s with you here on this fine morning?” he spoke brightly before he turned to draco who was still angry as ever, whispering. “i think my morning just got better.”
you rolled your eyes playfully, softening when draco passed by to kiss your forehead, his arm tightening around your shoulders for a second. “i’m trying to study, but obviously not really succeeding. how many more of you are there?”
“just enzo” blaise shrugged, looking up at their dorm room door as if expecting him to come down any second, which he never did. “but he is a bit under the weather these days.”
“you say under the weather, i say he received a letter from his mommy this morning” mattheo spoke carelessly, shrugging when you gave him a confused look. then his eyes widened the slightest bit. “oh i got one too, i almost forgot” he pulled a letter from his quidditch bag, unfolding it and laying it flat on the table.
then, you got goosebumps. it started speaking in a very distinct voice, one that you knew all too well. voldemort.
“Dear son,
I appreciate the sentiment at the bottom of the letter, which nearly compelled me to fly to Hogwarts myself forthwith and cast a hex upon you.
Pray tell, do you have a fancy for men? As if I did not have enough in my hands already. I beg of you to steady yourself, lest I find you a suitable match in the first gullible pure-blooded young lady I encounter. I trust, however, that you know that she would not bear the name Y/l/n.
Yours affectionately,
Father.”
you gasped and your eyes widened, everyone looking at mattheo as if he had grown two heads. his father’s tone was stern, dry and unamused. whilst the atmosphere was tense, the word affectionately at the end made enzo, who was coming down of his room finally, inevitably snicker. “wow, you win. i thought i had a story to tell, but wow.”
but that did not phase mattheo, who was always about not making his father upset, not really encouraging his unique pastimes either. “how did he find out though? i thought hogwarts was the safest place there is.”
you rubbed his back, as the others tried to encourage him and calm him down. but it was no use, mattheo was determined to find out who was his father’s spy. and you didn’t think he’d actually find out who it was out of a castle full of people with questionable families, including yours. but he did. “tom” he spoke lowly, and you turned, thinking that tom was coming down as well, but he wasn’t.
his eyes were full of rage, fists clenched as he strolled towards his room, draco following closely, ensuring that nothing more than a few words would be thrown around.
one minute passed, then two, then five. you could hear their bickering and mattheo’s furious screaming from the common room, and it went on until it didn’t. until a death silence settled upon the castle, until the door opened and mattheo was carrying draco.
he was hurt. and the worst part of it all? he expressed nothing beyond the occasional heart-wrenching whimpers of pure pain. tom trailed behind them, an unmistakable expression of genuine guilt etched on his face.
you were all aware of what had happened. in that tense moment, silence enveloped the room; the chaos within each of you made it nearly impossible to string two words together. aware of the fact that madam pomfrey would never let no less than seven students into the hospital wing, you finally mustered the courage to call to tom. his steps faltered and he turned to face you, the weight of the situation hanging in the air. “what did you do?”
as he took a few tentative steps towards you, it was evident that his words were caught in his throat. tom riddle was speechless for the first time in his life. the usual confidence he would display was gone, guilt replacing it. “it was a mistake, i made a mistake. i only wanted to cast expelliarmus on matt, but i lost my temper and when he avoided it, it- i- draco was behind him and i hexed him” he spoke so softly that it was almost impossible to catch it.
you could sense the anguish in his voice and, despite his expectations, you pulled him closer to you in a gentle, reassuring embrace. as you held him against you, you felt a few more pairs of arms encircle you both. blaise, theo and enzo had approached you both, offering their support for tom as well, even though he had hurt their friend.
things like “it’s okay, tom. he’s not mad at you” and “you couldn’t control yourself. he knows you care about him” were said, but did close to nothing to soothe tom. he fucked up big time.
🤍
in the hospital wing, things were as tense, primarily due to the uncertainty of draco’s condition. mattheo stood by his bedside, gazing at the unfortunate boy who was suffering, all because of a stupid letter. but then again he wondered : how could a simple spell leave evident marks such as blood in its wake?
draco, on the other hand, fought to keep his eyes as madam pomfrey tended to his wound, a concerned frown adorning her face. “if someone stabbed him, you have to tell me. this is serious, mister riddle” she eyed mattheo warily, feeling for the poor boy who was wincing.
“no, madam. he got hexed by… he got hexed. accidentally” his voice came out hoarse, his cheeks flushing under madam pomfrey’s stern gaze. he felt like she knew who it was that had hexed draco.
“this is not a simple hex” she muttered under her breath, wiping her hands on her skirt as she finished bandaging draco. “i insist that you do not walk unaccompanied and refrain from too much physical effort. and yes, this includes quidditch” she asserted, before directing her gaze at mattheo again. “mister riddle, please send your brother to my office” she instructed, exiting with a decisive thud of the door.
“if you don't tell her, i won't either” draco smiled softly, wincing as he accidentally touched his chest.
“have you gone all soft, malfoy?” he inquired, amused, the corner of his lips curving upwards. “besides, the old hag’s figured it out.”
“i am not soft” mumbled draco, avoiding his gaze.
“you’ll be once i’m done with you.”
🤍
some time later, you were still sitting in the common room, worry etched on your face as you continued studying, but you could barely focus, given how clueless you were about draco’s condition.
werewolves, vampires, unicorns…
you read, but nothing seemed to click, nothing but the door as someone stepped inside, the portrait closing behind them.
“still studying, beautiful?” mattheo. he seemed so calm, slightly amused as you basically ran up to him, wide eyes searching for any trace of hesitation.
“how is draco?” he chuckled softly as you absentmindedly tugged at his jacket, seemingly unaware of your actions.
“he’s alright. madam pomfrey forbid him from playing quidditch and even walking on his own, so you can imagine how frustrated he was. but he’s healing.”
you exhaled, melting into him as his arms wrapped around your smaller frame. “oh, thank merlin” you hummed appreciatively when he squeezed you slightly, his hands caressing your hair. “who is with him now?”
“no one” he replied simply, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.
his words startled you, prompting your warm body to leave his own. “alone? on his own? and not being capable of moving on his own?”
“yes” he replied, not really understanding your point. “he told me he wanted to sleep. what could happen in his sleep?”
“even so!” you exhaled in frustration, forgetting all about your studying as you stormed off to find draco.
on your way to the hospital wing, you remembered that it was still dinner time and you figured you’d stop by the kitchens to gather some food for the both of you, considering he had been sitting on a hospital bed for hours.
with a bag of food in hand, you wandered the hallways in search of the quickest way to the hospital wing. the corridor was silent, the absence of the students allowing you to hear your thoughts for once. you were feeling relieved, content that draco was healing and madam pomfrey was confident that he’d be alright in no time.
finally reaching the door, you took a steadying breath and opened it.
to your surprise, draco was the only student there, and he seemed quite alert when he caught sight of you. but when you closed the door behind you and he noticed that you were alone, his shoulders relaxed.
“you should be at dinner” he remarked, but the amusement in his tone was palpable as you flicked on the lights.
“and you shouldn’t be here” you bit back, his face softening when he noticed how worried you were. it was simple for him to tell; your brows were furrowed, lips slightly pursed and you kept fiddling with your ring. “i’m glad you’re feeling better though” you continued softly, carefully placing the food on his small bedside table as you sat down on the chair by his bed.
he took your hand in his, humming. “me too… kinda. you could’ve told everyone that i died of a broken heart, but pomfrey had to spoil my story” his nose wrinkled as he quipped, a playful smirk on his face.
and of course you were very much aware that he was joking, yet the worry coursing through you made you react on impulse. leaning in, you pressed your lips to his in order to silence his playful banter.
draco responded to the kiss, hand tightening around your jaw as he drew you closer. and closer, and then some more. in the intensity of the moment, he almost forgot about his wound, but not you. supporting your weight on one elbow, you pulled away, gasping for air.
“you do taste good” he licked his lips just like theo had done earlier, and you groaned, causing the boy to smirk.
“i would throw a pillow at you, but…”
draco gestured to his chest, smiling. “i’m a wounded man. have some mercy, y/n/n” he whined, flinging an arm over his head dramatically. how thankful you were that the whining was back.
“alright, alright” you waved him off, “i brought apple tart and some kind of expensive beef, i saw you eat it before” you said casually, as if it meant nothing, but for draco it meant so much - bringing him his favourite food and actually remembering his preferences.
“you’re an angel” he beamed at you, admiring you for a second too long, before he started eating.
you looked at him as well, taking in every detail of his face. and even if he was not feeling good, he looked just as gorgeous. “and you’re really beautiful” you whispered.
“do you think i’m beautiful, doll?” he teased, but you could sense a deeper yearning beneath his lighthearted tone.
feeling your cheeks burn, you shook your head. “you know you’re beautiful.”
“i do” he nodded proudly, biting the inside of his chin to suppress his wide grin. “but it sounds so much sweeter coming from that pretty mouth.”
you smiled, shy but sweet, and soon the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, your mind wandering. why was draco being nicer than usual? had he always been this way and had you been too distracted to notice? was you kissing him too much?
as always, your overthinking bubbled up at the most inconvenient time.
“before ripping me apart, tom actually taught me the art of legilimency” he stated nonchalantly, still engrossed in his food.
you dropped your fork on your plate, your eyes widening in disbelief - was he reading your mind? “draco m-”
amused, he shook his head, finding great amusement in the effect his words had on you. “i’m joooking” he drawled out, setting his food aside to focus on you.
studying you closely, he raised a hand, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. “pretty” you pouted, a smile threatening to appear, and draco mirrored your expression, tilting his head slightly. “now that i think about it… do you think what would make me heal faster?”
“what is it?” your curiosity piqued, eager to help him be out of this bed as soon as possible.
with a sly smirk, he pulled you closer, whispering. “tasting your sweet cunt” his icy blue eyes glinted as they bored into yours, and your breath caught in your throat. “it would be like my personal potion.”
sighing nervously, you moved to straddle him, cunt hovering over his face, “tell me if it’s too much” you whisper softly, hoping that nobody could was close enough to hear you.
he grasped your hips firmly, a smirk dancing around his lips as he met your gaze, “i should be the one saying that” he teased, curling one finger just enough to shift your underwear to the side, revealing the wetness.
draco let out a low groan, the sight causing his cock to harden, his pants tightening. “i can’t wait to get out of this stupid bed so i can finally have you suffocate me between your legs. i could die a happy man here” with a deft motion, he used two fingers to spread your arousal, causing you to jolt as he brushed against your hole.
“p-please stop teasing” you stammered, the effect of his teasing evident in your voice. draco reveled in your reaction, your vulnerability only fueling his desire. he was done teasing; all he wanted was to get a taste, especially to get back at enzo for telling him all about how sweet you tasted and how responsive you were.
“i’m gonna give you what you need, pretty” you felt his fingers ghost over your clit, finally beginning to draw slow, tight circles on your clit that had you crying out, more so when you felt his tongue prod at your entrance. “d-draco” you whispered his name like a prayer. “need it, please. fuck me with your tongue.”
he growled upon hearing you talk so dirty, amazed by the words leaving your sweet mouth, and without notice, his tongue plunged deep inside of you, sliding in and out as his fingers only slightly picked up their pace.
you felt empty when, out of blue, he withdrew his tongue, his fingers still working on you. “how about a deal, dolly?”
“anything” you whimpered, desperate to feel him again.
he smirked. “i make you cum and you tell me who did it better. me or enzo.”
as you peered down at him through blurry eyes, you shook your head in disapproval. “everything is a competition to you, isn’t it?”
“a deal’s a deal.”
you let out a scoff. “i don’t understand how that-” but your words got caught in your throat as his fingers moved from your cunt as well, and he raised at eyebrow at you, tilting his head. “okay, okay! i’ll do it, fuck. i’ll even tell him that, just- please- oh, oh my god!” you cried out when he resumed his work on you, fucking you with his tongue and causing you to let out the most obscene sounds, sounds you were not aware you were capable of making before.
it was nothing like you’d felt before. the way he was gripping your thighs, how precise the movement of his fingers was. he was magical.
you started trembling with the intensity of it all, and draco must’ve sensed it, because he moved his tongue, leaving you to clench around nothing before he replaced it with his fingers.
he was moving faster and you felt like you were tipping over the edge, your head thrown back as he made out with your cunt, sucking at your sensitive bud and nosing at it, adding just the perfect amount of pressure that had you seeing stars. “you look gorgeous like this” he mumbled against you and it caused you to cry, actually cry from the overstimulation, your orgasm drawing nearer and nearer.
and all of a sudden, your vision turned white. you couldn’t see him, you couldn’t see anything, but all you could do was pant, cry and whimper the only thing that was on your mind in that moment - his name.
“draco, draco, draco…” spilled from your lips as you grinded your hips against his face, draco happily lapping at your cunt as you started convulsing on top of him, his nails digging into the plush of your thighs to keep you from pulling away.
you were breathing heavily, so heavy that you could hear it and it was the thing pulling you back to reality, your head dropping forward and your gaze catching draco’s.
he grinned like a mad man, cheeks hurting as he didn’t even try to hide it. “i wanna be there to look at his face when you tell him that i am better.”
shaking your head, you felt a pang of guilt now, your adrenaline rush washing off. “you’re cruel, you know that?” catching your breath, you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from smiling, but he saw right through you.
“you didn’t seem to mind one bit when i was fucking you with my tongue just a few minutes ago.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
eventual james potter x fem!reader; inevitable angst and annoyance as james slowly matures over his time at hogwarts. slowburn. total word count: 56.3K
cw: lil angst, fluff, pining, minor uses of Y/N, reluctantly accepting feelings
There were a few things that came with being James’ little sister at Hogwarts.
You discovered the first one within the first month of your first year. You weren’t Potter. You were a Potter, but it rarely meant you.
A professor hollered, “POTTER!” down a corridor full of students. You stopped and looked at the professor with terror in your eyes. You had no clue what you did wrong, not seeing James weaving through the crowd to get away from said professor. “Sorry, not you, Miss Potter. JAMES!”
You trained yourself not to respond to Potter. ‘Miss Potter’ was still a stretch. “It’s too similar to Mister Potter,” you told several professors when you didn’t respond right away. Eventually, the professors learned to call you by your first name and save Potter for James.
You also learned that your brother had set quite the precedent in his one year at Hogwarts without you. Despite being in a different house than James, professors took one look at your surname and assumed you’d be trouble. You were sat in the front of every class. You noticed that another boy was also sat in the front in every class but always on the opposite side of the row than you. Regulus Black, brother of your brother’s best friend.
At least you weren’t alone in being immediately compared to your sibling.
The third thing that came with being related to James developed the older you got: hearing everyone’s opinions about your brother and his friends. It felt like most people could only feel one of two things about them: love or hate. The first time you heard someone describe James as a ‘dreamboat,’ you gagged. Even worse, it was one of your roommates. You thought she’d have the decency to talk about James when you weren’t in the room, but you were wrong. It only got worse for you as you got to know James’ friends. It became nauseating.
The hate they received was easier to ignore. It almost felt refreshing to hear compared to the unearned compliments sent their way. You sometimes felt the need to defend the boys, but that was only when something truly heinous was said. If they could handle the adoring fans they somehow accrued, they could handle the haters that came with them.
You managed to find a handful of students who were more neutral to the boys. They didn’t praise the ground they walked on nor did they wish them immediate, painful deaths. Just disinterest. It was easier to ignore your brother, his friends and everything related to them when you were with your friends.
That didn’t mean you completely avoided your brother and his friends. They were everywhere after all. You could chuckle at the occasional harmless prank. You cheered for James when he dominated quidditch match after quidditch match. On the rare occurrence that none of your friends could help, you went to James and his friends for help on homework. You’d try to bum a galleon or two off James before Hogsmeade weekend. And you’d sometimes have to seek James out when writing or receiving a letter from home.
As much as you tried to stay out of the Marauders’ way, you still liked them. Your brother could’ve chosen much worse people for his friends. The other three found their way to Potter Manor during the holidays, sometimes all together and other times separately. You tried to keep out of their way more or less when they were around. But you could hold a conversation with them. You didn’t feel weirded out if one of them struck a conversation with you when James wasn’t around. You knew that you were James’ little sister and they were being polite.
---
The summer before your fifth year, Sirius came to live with your family. No one would tell you the whole story, but your parents treated the situation with utmost caution. You could remember the way Sirius practically passed out into James’ arms the moment he answered the door. You couldn’t unhear the panic in your brother’s voice as he yelled for your parents and told you to get the healing potions from the bathroom.
You didn’t have time to process the sight in front of you. You ran to grab the collection of vials, not knowing which ones Sirius might need nor how much. You grabbed it all. The rest of the night went by in a blur with your parents fussing over Sirius and asking you and James to grab things or to clean up the guest room for Sirius.
Sirius never left after that night. He stayed with your family for the rest of the summer and you knew he’d be staying and he and James graduated from Hogwarts and got a place of their own. A week or so after he arrived, Peter and Remus came to visit. Their visit felt strategically planned, just enough time for Sirius to get settled but not too long after. It was the perfect time for Sirius to be surrounded by the people who loved him the most.
“Hey, Little Corvid! Where’s your brother at?” Remus asked as soon as he arrived.
Little Corvid was a nickname reserved solely for Remus. He gave it to you during your first year, having been freshly sorted into Ravenclaw. You had sought James out to see if he wanted to say anything in your letter home.
Remus had said, “Fun fact, ravens are corvids. Same family as crows and jackdaws.”
You had given him a confused look and said, “The Ravenclaw mascot is an eagle.”
He had laughed, “I see why she’s a Ravenclaw.”
And from then on, you were Little Corvid to him. He was one of the few people who had a nickname for you.
You looked up from your spot on the couch. Remus was smiling at you from just inside the front door. It wasn’t unusual for the boys to let themselves in when they arrived.
“Upstairs. Maybe Sirius’ room?” you said before returning your attention to your book.
“Thanks!”
You heard his bags hit the ground and then the thundering of his footsteps up the stairs. You rolled your eyes. He was going to be sleeping in either James or Sirius’ room, so why didn’t he just bring his bags up now? Peter had shown up earlier that morning and his things were already upstairs. You knew it was going to be hectic with all four of them here; it always was, but now that Sirius was living here, you assumed it would be worse. Like always, you planned on not imposing too much on them. But if you got bored, you might tag along.
“Corvid!” Remus called up the stairs later in the week. “We’re going to the shore. Need anything?”
“Yeah, give me a sec!” you hollered back.
You adjusted your hair tie and hurried down the stairs. James groaned and rolled his eyes as you slid on your shoes.
“We were offering to grab it for you, not for you to come along,” James mumbled.
“Oh…” You began to peel your shoes back off, trying to not look disheartened.
“Shove off, Prongs. She can come,” Sirius said, giving you a smile. “We don’t mind.”
Sirius had been extra polite to you since he arrived. He constantly worried that he was intruding on your life, suddenly being at your house for the rest of summer and he was James’ friend and only sort of yours. Remus nodded along with Sirius’ statement. He didn’t mind that you were coming.
“Looks like she’s coming,” Peter said. He was simply indifferent and led the group out of the front door.
James grabbed the back of your shirt and hissed, “Don’t embarrass me.”
“Not trying to,” you replied.
You didn’t say much as you walked with the boys to the store. You figured that was the least embarrassing thing you could do. Can’t say anything wrong if you don’t say anything at all, but you still laughed at their stupid jokes. At some point, Remus ended up walking next to you with Peter on his other side while James and Sirius tried to do some kind of stunts ahead of the group. You wouldn’t be surprised if they’d need a bone put back together before you got home.
“What d’you need from the store?” Remus asked you casually.
“Just some snacks and a book. I’m on the last chapter of my current one.”
“They sell books in the corner store?” Remus asked.
You shook your head. “No. There’s a muggle bookstore just a block over. Figured I’d nip over there while you lot get whatever you need from the store. If you leave without me, you leave without me.”
Peter laughed, earning himself confused looks from you and Remus.
“What? You just told Moony there’s a bookstore nearby. He’s going with you. Ain’t no way we’re leaving without you.”
“I mean, if you don’t mind me coming with you,” Remus said with a chuckle.
“I don’t mind.”
James gave Remus a curious look as he followed you down the block to the bookstore. He hadn’t heard the discussion as he and Sirius were attempting to do flips. Peter explained as the remaining three entered the cornershop.
Inside the bookstore, Remus continued to follow you as you browsed the titles. You didn’t expect him to stay glued to your side the whole time you were in that store, but he did. You ended up getting three books – it was a series, you couldn’t help yourself – and Remus got a book himself. What shocked you even more was when he offered to pay.
“No, Remus. I can afford my books. Thank you though.”
He shrugged and let you pay for yourself. You had half a mind to pay for Remus’ book; you had quite the book allowance for the summer. Remus asked you about the book you were finishing up as you walked back to the corner store. The rest of the boys were still inside, debating how many bags of crisps they wanted, when you arrived. You grabbed your usual snacks and then lingered in the crisp aisle as Remus tried to get the boys to make a decision.
When you got back to the house, the boys dropped their snacks in the kitchen before going back outside. You heard them say something about getting the brooms out. You planned on following them out, but you would not be getting on a broom. Instead, you grabbed a glass of lemonade, your almost finished book and the first of your new series. You reclined on a sunchair near the house. The boys had started a game of ‘monkey in the middle’ with a quaffle. James was currently in the middle. You smirked to yourself, knowing that he wouldn’t be for long.
You were right. It only took two more throws before James caught it and Sirius was sent into the middle. The boys were rotating fairly often, not that you were keeping track. They were just loud.
“Oi! Heads up!” Sirius yelled as the quaffle he’d just thrown soared through Peter’s outstretched hands.
You shrieked as the ball hit you. You bolted up out of the chair. You lost your spot in your book, but frankly, you were more concerned about keeping it dry as the ricocheted ball knocked over your cup and drenched your shirt with lemonade. You swore under your breath. The boys slowly descended from their positions in the sky. You kicked the quaffle toward them, still holding your arms up. You left the book on the small table your cup had been on as you went inside to clean up.
You completely missed how Peter elbowed Remus, who had gone slack jawed at the sight of your shirt clinging to your body. It took Remus a minute to regain his composure, staring at the door you disappeared behind. It was impressive that James didn’t notice. The boys, minus James, would be lying if they said they didn’t notice how you’d grown up. Sirius and Peter were just more discreet when they checked you out.
The rest of the week goes by without incident. You give the boys their space, opting to spend your time by yourself or with your mother. You helped bake desserts and cook dinner. You read your books and worked on your summer crochet project. And when it was nice, you’d lay out in the sun, without a book and with your drink at a small distance to avoid another mishap.
One of the evenings you’re sitting on the couch with Remus. You’ve got your back propped up with a pillow on the armrest with your legs bent so that your feet rested just before Remus’ thigh. You were both reading. It was the night before the full moon so Remus was taking it easy while the rest of the boys were messing around elsewhere in the house.
You laughed softly at your book and Remus looked up from his. A smile tugged at his lips when he saw the happy look on your face and the soft smile that adorned your lips. He watched you read for a few minutes before turning back to his own book. You somehow didn’t notice him staring. You were too deep into your book.
You were a little sad to see Remus leave a few days later. He was your favorite out of James’ friends. Without him and Peter, the house did become a little quieter. James and Sirius were still rowdy, but it was on a lesser level. The end of summer was approaching and the three of you remember that you did have some summer homework to finish before you went back to Hogwarts. That took up a decent amount of your time.
---
You separated from your parents and the boys the moment you were through the barrier at King’s Cross Station. Yes, you’d miss your parents, but you felt that you would explode if you spent one more second with James and Sirius. They had been talking nonstop since breakfast. It was driving you mad.
“Love you, see you in a few months!” you called as you bolted away.
You scanned the crowd as you moved toward the train, trying to spot your friends.
“There she is!” Marissa, one of your friends, said with a grin when you spotted her.
Marissa was standing with some of your roommates and friends from other houses. The rest of the group greeted you as well. It didn’t take long for you to move onto the train and find a compartment. Turns out the group was just waiting for you.
“Right, so anything happen over the summer?” Elias, another friend, asked you once everyone was settled.
“The usual Marauders gathering,” you answered with disinterest. “Sirius moved in so we’re stuck with him more than usual.”
Lindsey, one of your roommates, perked up. “Sirius Black moved into your house?”
You nodded.
“Oh. My. Merlin. What’s it like?” she asked eagerly, leaning forward. “Did you get any? You know, since you have easy access?”
You made a disgusted face, drawing laughter from your better friends. They knew how you felt about Sirius – platonic if you could even call it that.
“I most certainly did not get any. Bloody hell. I will never get any from him.” You shuttered. “But overall, a bit chaotic. I thought living with one James was a lot and now there’s two.”
“Wait, why has Sirius moved into your house?” Marissa asked.
“I’m… not exactly sure? He just showed up and never left.”
“Odd,” she muttered, giving you a confused look.
You shrugged. You had nothing else to say. It seemed insensitive to tell them how horrible he looked when you arrived. It wasn’t their business especially if your parents wouldn’t tell even you why he was staying.
“Elias, did you have a good summer?” you asked, trying to get the conversation off of your summer.
You got comfortable in your seat as Elias started recounting his summer. His family traveled a lot so he had stories. You listened to the conversation as it shifted from Elias’ summer to Martin’s new quidditch broom to the latest gossip that Lucy heard. It was relaxing to be in the company of your friends again. And as long as the conversation didn’t drift to the Marauders, Lindsey and Alison were tolerable.
Soon enough, you were back at Hogwarts. You fell back into the rhythm of school fairly quickly. With O.W.L.s looming at the end of the year, the professors took no mercy on you. Homework was ramped up with ungodly expectations. You knew it was coming, everyone did. Fifth year was notoriously hell and now you were living it. This meant spending plenty of time in the library because as great as the Ravenclaw Common Room was, it wasn’t the library.
Your increased time in the library brought something to your attention: Remus was often there. Sometimes he was alone, others with the Marauders or other Gryffindors. You make eye contact a few times as you look for an open table. He’d give you a warm smile that you’d return. You’d tell yourself that the flip your stomach did when Remus smiled at you meant nothing. He was just your favorite of James’ friends, that’s all, and he was just being polite.
A few weeks passed and you were in the library just after sunrise on a Saturday. There was no quidditch and no scheduled visits to Hogsmeade, so you decided you would crank out as much work as you could. You piled up a collection of books on your table and got to work. Students slowly drifted into the library as the morning progressed. Among those students was Remus. You didn’t notice him until he was standing right next to your table.
“Mind if I sit here, Little Corvid?” he asked, gesturing to the seat across from you.
“Feel free.”
He gave you that warm smile and sat down, getting straight to work. Before returning to your work, you look around the library. There are still plenty of tables open and Remus asked if he could sit at your table. You bite your lip, sending him a quick glance before bringing your attention back to your essay. Maybe Remus saw you as more than James’ little sister. You can’t imagine Sirius or Peter, or James even, choosing to sit next to you when there were open tables.
Your thinking is only reinforced. It felt like every time you were in the library before him and he was alone, he’d sit with you. You took that as an invitation to sit with him when he got there first. If he was with someone else or one of your friends came with you, the two of you would still exchange smiles, but that would be it.
You didn’t mind this increased friendship with Remus. It grew to waving to each other in the corridors and talking a bit more. Alison saw you talking with Remus outside of the History of Magic classroom in between classes and she whined about you getting close with “the wrong Marauder.” You rolled your eyes at her. You didn’t see why you couldn’t have a friendship of your own with Remus without it being tied to James. Well, you did know why but you liked to think that even if you weren’t a Potter or if Remus hadn’t been friends with James, you still would’ve become friends at some point.
“Hey Potter!” a male voice called down the corridor a few days later.
You were standing with Lucy, but neither of you looked up, carrying on with your conversation. Everything about it screamed that Potter was referring to James.
“Potterrrrr,” the voice said again, drawing out your surname.
You still gave no acknowledgement.
“Potter, hi.”
The speaker was now standing in front of you. Connor Darby, a Hufflepuff and roommate of Elias.
“Oh, hi Connor,” you said.
“Did you get a surname change or something?”
“No,” you sighed, giving Lucy a sideways glance. “But Potter being yelled down the corridor usually means James.”
“Right, right. Erm, could we talk in private?”
“Yeah, I suppose. Lucy, I’ll see you later.” Lucy walked away and then Connor reached out for your elbow to guide you into an ever-so-slightly more secluded area of the corridor. “What’s up?”
“I was… Ahem, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”
“Oh,” you said, a bit startled. You hadn’t been expecting that; you didn’t really know Connor all that well. “Okay, sure. I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you.”
Connor’s face lit up. “That’s brilliant! I’ll meet you around 11 outside the Great Hall!”
Connor gave your arm a gentle squeeze before leaving you to go to his friends. You smiled to yourself as you watched his friends clap him on the back. You headed to your next class, where you sat next to Elias.
“Did Connor talk to you?” you asked after sitting down.
Elias grinned at you. “Possibly. Did he finally grow a pair and talk to you?”
“Finally? What do you all know about this?”
“He’s my roommate, of course I know about this. He’s had an eye on you since the start of term. I’ve been telling him you’d give him a chance.”
“Yeah? What gives you that impression?”
“I mean, I was right, wasn’t I?”
You rolled your eyes. He was.
“Come on, Darby’s not bad looking. He’s an alright bloke. You’re single and fit and are too nice to turn someone down.”
“You think I’m fit?” you laughed.
Elias put his hands up in front of him in defense. “Just stating a fact.”
For the rest of the week, your roommates and female friends talked about your upcoming date. They teased you about it. It was your first real date. It was like they were more excited about it than you were, but in your defense, you were nervous. You weren’t close with Connor; you had no clue what to expect.
By the end of Saturday, you learned that your nervousness wasn’t warranted. The date was fine. You met Connor outside the Great Hall, walked to Hogsmeade and spent some time in the enchanted garden there. You talked, basic stuff. You were going to get butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks, but you caught a glimpse of your brother inside and steered Connor away. He seemed a little disappointed that you were ending the date early, but you were not going to parade your first date in front of your brother, especially when you weren’t sure if you wanted a second.
“What do you mean you don’t want a second date? Connor’s a cutie!” Lindsey said when you got back to your dorm. “What kind of guy are you looking for? You don’t like Sirius Black. You don’t like Connor Darby. Do you need younger? Older?”
“I’ll know him when I see him,” you said, sounding a bit more testy than you meant to.
“You’re a Potter. You could have any bloke in this bloody school. You do know that, right?” Alison asked.
“I said I’ll know when I see him.”
The girls exchanged disbelieving looks. You never talked boys with them, unless you were telling them how you weren’t interested in a particular one. You always had the same excuse of knowing him when you see him. The girls joked that you must be blind. A whole school of boys and you were simply disinterested.
You had talked about it more with Marissa. Sure, boys were pretty and sometimes funny, but you needed to feel something. You had yet to feel something substantial. You certainly didn’t feel enough for Connor to justify another date. The date itself hadn’t been exceptionally riveting. Elias ended up talking to you about Connor later. Connor told him that he had a good time but wasn’t sure if you felt the same. You told Elias that it was fine, but there wouldn’t be a second date.
There was a plus side to not knowing Connor all that well: avoiding him was easy. A downside to being you: your brother heard all gossip about you.
“You had a date?” James asked, sitting down next to you at lunch.
You hummed, stabbing your fork at some food on your plate.
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m your brother. I need to know these things.”
“Do you?”
“What about you, James?” Lindsey asked from across the table with a saccharine smile. “You go on any dates recently?”
“Erm, no…” James answered, barely sparing her a glance. “I need to know when you go on dates.”
“Well, you can relax. I’m not going on a second one with him.”
“Why not?”
You shrugged. “Not my type.”
“Next time, tell me before you go off with some sketchy bloke, yeah?”
“Whatever,” you said dryly with absolutely no intention of telling James about your next date, whenever that would be.
James looked from you to Lindsey. He gave her a polite nod before getting up from the table and leaving you alone. You rolled your eyes. From across the hall you could feel the eyes of the Marauders, and various others since James didn’t visit you at the Ravenclaw table all that often – it was usually you visiting the Gryffindor table. You didn’t expect James to be the “protective” older brother type, given how little he seemed to want to associate with you.
As the rest of the week passed, you swore that eyes seemed to follow you more than usual. You didn’t understand why. The only thing that changed is you had now gone on a date. Was that really enough to bring attention to you? Or was it because the date was enough to bring James to your table?
You tried your best to ignore it. But it wasn’t long until James’ next visit to the Ravenclaw table. Saturday morning, already dressed in his quidditch uniform, James strolled over to you and placed a generic Gryffindor jersey in front of you.
“What’s this?” you asked.
“What’s that? That’s what you’re wearing to the match.”
“Did you hit your head or something during practice? I’ve never worn Gryffindor stuff.” You moved the jersey away from your plate.
“If you’re going on dates now, you’re wearing Gryffindor to my matches. Remind people that you’re my sister.”
“Right, because that’s so important?”
“You know that if someone breaks your heart, I’m breaking their face.” He put the jersey back in front of you again. “Wear it.”
As he walked away, you mocked, “Wear it.”
You did change into the jersey, which caught eyes as you walked to the pitch with your friends. Elias gave you a scandalized look. (“They’re playing Hufflepuff!”) You called it ‘all good fun.’ Elias knew you cheered for your brother, rather than Gryffindor as a whole, and the only time you didn’t cheer for him was when he was facing Ravenclaw. Still, your new jersey stuck out among your friends’ more generic outfits.
The match was intense as always. James dominated the sky. The Hufflepuff team didn’t bother him as he flew circles around them. Elias was exceptionally vocal with every foul and point scored. Marissa, also in Hufflepuff, wasn’t quite as loud, but then again, no one in your group was as loud as Elias. He was passionate about the sport. Before long, Elias was slamming his hands down on the railing with anguished shouts as the Gryffindor team took a victory lap before descending.
You left your friends to find James to congratulate him, as you always do when he wins. It takes a little bit of effort to actually get to him. Both friends and fans have flocked to his side to tell him how well he played. You managed to get up to James and offer him a quick ‘good job’ before someone puts their body between you and your brother. You take a few steps back. You flinched as an arm was slung over your shoulder.
“Jus’ me,” Remus said, leaning a little more weight on you as you relaxed at the sound of his voice. “They sure do like attention…”
Peter, Sirius and James had started a Gryffindor chant as the Hufflepuff players were still leaving the pitch. All of Gryffindor’s fans were getting louder and rowdier. Remus pulled you another step back.
“You should come to the party later, Little Corvid,” Remus said with a casual tone.
You snorted. “A Gryffindor party? Because that’s so my scene.”
“They’re not all that bad. You can hang out with me.”
You met his eyes and saw the kind and hopeful smile he was giving you; your stomach did that flip you’ve started to ignore. Hanging out with Remus didn’t sound too bad, even if you were going to be surrounded by obnoxious Gryffindors.
“I’ll think about it. What’s the password?”
You didn’t bother to tell your roommates where you were going. They might’ve begged you to come along. A party with the Marauders? Lindsey and Alison would’ve loved to be there. Instead, only your footsteps echoed in the corridor as you made your way to the portrait of the Fat Lady.
From the moment you stepped into the common room, you were met with the heat of bodies, the pounding music and the stench of sweat and alcohol. Within seconds, someone handed you a cup filled with something. You held it close to your chest as you scanned the room. Where was Remus? You spotted him leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room.
You started heading his way when someone stepped in front of you and placed their hands on both your shoulders. You look up with a shocked expression. Sirius.
“Baby Potter showed up!” he said louder than necessary. “Oi! Prongs, you see this?”
You cringed internally at his immediate bringing your presence up to James. First you wore a Gryffindor jersey to the match and now you were at their party. Yes, James had insisted that you wear the jersey, but he might see your coming to the party as an intrusion. It wasn’t like you had spent excessive time with them ever.
James, looking over at you and Sirius, now with his arm over your shoulder, just waved at you and turned back to the girl he was talking to.
“How much has he had to drink?” you asked Sirius.
“What convinced you to join the fun crowd?” Sirius asked, completely ignoring your question.
“That’d be me,” Remus said, walking up to you and Sirius and moving to remove Sirius’ arm. “Figured it’s about time Little Corvid experiences a real party.”
Sirius let out a low whistle. “Make good choices, you two.”
Remus gave Sirius an annoyed look, which he responded with wiggling his eyebrows. Still, you let Remus guide you back to where he had been standing before.
“What makes you think I haven’t been to a real party?” you asked Remus.
“Ah, Little Corvid, you’re a fifth year Ravenclaw. You haven’t been to something like this.”
“Certainly never smelled anything like this.”
You and Remus chuckled. From the side of the room, you’re able to see the room better. Drinks were being passed around, students were dancing together, a few students gathered near an open window passing around a cigarette. Sirius was with that last group. James was still talking to that girl and Peter was dancing with someone else. Students from your year were mainly dancing or lounging on the sofas scattered across the room. You weren’t sure where the music was coming from.
“It’s not too far off from Ravenclaw parties,” you told Remus, tilting your head up to look at him.
You were a bit shocked to see that he was already looking at you with a slight smirk on his face.
“What?” you asked.
“You said this wouldn’t be your scene.”
You turned your gaze back to the room, but Remus kept looking at you.
“Because it’s here,” you said, waving your hand in front of you. “And James is over there looking like he’s about to start snogging that girl.”
“Oh, he won’t. She’s not Lily.”
“He’s still trying to win her over? How many times does the poor girl have to say no?”
“Three million four hundred twenty seven and counting.”
You laughed softly before taking a sip from your cup. You gagged.
“Merlin, this is awful!”
“What? Don’t they serve jungle juice at your corvid parties?”
You shook your head with a grimace. “‘M usually handed a bottle.”
“Ah, because you’re a Potter.”
You rolled your eyes.
“What does that mean?”
“You’re a smart bird, Little Corvid. You get a little something-something for being James’ sister.”
“Great. He’ll think I owe him,” you said dryly. You braced yourself before taking another sip. You gagged again and handed Remus the cup. “Nope. I can’t. That isn’t drinkable.”
Remus immediately downed the rest of your cup and stacked it inside of his.
“And you can drink that?”
“I’ve drank worse,” he said casually. “This one makes me feel good though.”
“Merlin… How many have you had?”
‘Not enough to give me the courage I need,’ Remus thought before saying out loud, “A few.”
“So, I’ll be the sober one in the room. Didn’t think I was being invited to be a chaperone.”
“Eh, I’m usually alright. It’s the other three you may have to worry about.”
“I’d rather not think about what James does when he drinks.”
“You did come to a Gryffindor party after a quidditch game. Did you expect him to be sober?”
“I’m not sure what I expected…”
“If it gets to be too much, we can go upstairs. I have plenty of books or cards or whatever.”
You laughed and nudged Remus with your shoulder. “Inviting me up to your dorm? How scandalous,” you teased.
Remus blushed and looked away from you. He hadn’t meant to imply that, but it wasn’t like he had never imagined it. It was one of the things the boys never discussed; James was always involved in those types of conversations and to mention his sister would’ve been suicide.
“Figured it smells nicer and is quieter than down here,” he mumbled.
You chuckled and leaned back against the wall. You stood there in silence for maybe a minute as you watched the party. Then you slid down the wall until you were sitting on the ground with crossed legs. Remus looked down at you.
“Alright, love?” he asked, blushing again when he realized he called you ‘love’ rather than his usual ‘Little Corvid.’
“Yeah, yeah. Jus’ don’t want to stand the whole night.”
Remus nodded and sat down as well. He stretched his legs out in front of him, creating a tripping hazard for his peers. He took a sip of his drink. If he could, he would’ve willed his heart to stop pounding in his chest and for his hands to feel less clammy. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so nervous as he sat next to you; he’d been next to you before, held conversations with you, studied with you for hours in the library.
You thought Remus looked a little stiff next to you. Stiff but pretty as ever. You couldn’t explain the urge you had to touch Remus. Just be in physical contact with him, not grope. You could lean your shoulder up against his or rest your head on his shoulder. If you were feeling exceptionally bold, you could drop your hand from your knee to the ground next to you and then slowly move it over until you reached his hand. You, however, were not bold. Being in Gryffindor Tower was a bold enough act for you right now.
You wouldn’t admit it outloud but Remus’ invitation to read in his dorm was slowly beginning to sound more tempting as the night went on. The smell, the sound, the constant movement of people around you – it was a lot. Every once in a while someone stopped by and refilled Remus’ cup. Once he grabbed one of their forearms and said something to them in a low voice. You couldn’t hear what he said, but within a minute, you had a bottle of butterbeer in your hand.
“Your doing?” you asked, clinking your bottle against his cup.
“You looked a bit parched.”
You snorted as you took a sip and immediately started coughing. Remus hit your back in an attempt to help.
“I… I looked parched?” you managed to gasp out in between coughs.
“It’s a party and you had no drink. Can’t be having that now, can we?”
You took another sip and swallowed before saying, “Thank you.”
“Anything for my Little Corvid.”
‘My.’
“You ever dance?” you asked Remus, tilting your bottle to where students were dancing and pressing their bodies against each other. You spotted a few students from your year.
“James ‘n’ Sirius dragged me out during third year. I fear I’m more suited for the couch… or floor.”
“Maybe you just need a better dance partner,” you said with a soft laugh. “If that, what’d you call it? Juicy juice wasn’t so bloody awful, I’d be game.”
“Jungle juice…” Remus said, trying not to look at you.
You just said you’d dance with him if you had a better drink in your hand. Remus knew that it was more for getting you to dance rather than for dancing with him. The more time that Remus spent with you, the more he thought he might have a chance with you. He was beginning to think that getting James to not murder him for asking you out would be a bigger challenge than you saying yes.
The rest of the night passed like that. Small bits of conversation littered with thickly-veiled flirting. Neither of you were confident enough to make a move. The most that happened was Remus used your shoulder as a pillow after a few more drinks.
“Comfortable?” you asked him.
He hummed in response, letting his eyelids flutter shut. You chuckled softly. It was a sweet moment that made your heart beat faster. He was close enough now that you could barely smell his cologne over the room’s stench. And there was the flipping in your stomach. That didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything. This was one of James’ best friends.
As it got later, Remus eventually started to nod off. He sat up, stretched and said it was probably time for him to turn in. You watched him get up and head to the dorms. You stayed seated until you finished your current bottle of butterbeer before leaving the party yourself. You took the longer route back to Ravenclaw Tower. You needed the coolness of the stone corridor to settle yourself and think.
There was a little gossip about you going to the Gryffindor party, but apparently James’ nonchalance about it at the party extended to after as he didn’t confront you about it. Because you only sat with Remus for the entire night and you left alone, the gossip cycle spit you out pretty quickly. Suddenly your entrance into the more social scene was old news. You faded back into being the younger Potter. Just the way you liked it.
You still studied with Remus in the library. Things more or less felt the same; the main difference was now you stole more glances at him. He still gave you those warm, kind smiles that did things to your stomach. You still had small conversations, although they usually pertained to your assignments. Your favorite conversations were the ones that drifted. Talking with Remus about life was easy and titillating.
---
You were sitting in study hall, working on an assignment for Defense Against the Dark Art. There was a low murmur around you as you worked. The professor supervising wasn’t too strict as they graded assignments at the front of the room.
“Potter.”
You flipped a page in your textbook.
“Oi – pretty Potter?”
You retraced over the last word you wrote, making the ink darker and continuous. You sighed and scanned the open page of your book with your quill hovering over your parchment. You had no idea what to write next. Then a wad of parchment hit you in the face and fell in front of you. You slowly reached for it and uncrumpled it. There was nothing written on it. You frowned. What’s the point of throwing parchment at someone without a nate? You looked up and immediately locked eyes with Sirius.
“What?” you hissed at him.
“About time. You going to the dance?” he whispered.
You made a face and shook your head, turning back to your assignment. The upcoming winter ball was for sixth and seventh years and their dates. You’re a fifth year. You were able form half a sentence in your brain before Sirius scooted down on the bench until he was right across from you. He reached his arms across the table and blocked your paper with his hands.
“What?” you repeated yourself.
“Do you want to go?”
“What?” This time you asked it in shock rather than irritation.
“Is there an echo in here or something? Do you want to go to the dance, Potter?”
“Uh, are you asking me to go with you? As your date?” you replied in disbelief.
He rolled his eyes. “Duh. You wanna go or not?”
“Don’t you have a list of girls who’d die to go with you?”
“Probably,” he said with a shrug. “But I’m not asking them. I’m asking you.”
“Why?”
“You know Prongs managed to get Lily to go with him.”
You nodded. You had heard that from the whispers around Hogwarts. And James’ ecstatic declarations throughout multiple corridors various times a day for the past week since she said yes.
“And he’s been so… so… so ugh?” he said with a disgruntled flourish of his hands.
“I believe the phrase you’re looking for is ‘over the moon’ or even, happy?” you laughed before sending a glance toward the professor at the front of the room. They were still engrossed in their grading.
“Whatever. He’ll be with her. So I figured I’d ask my second favorite Potter to help me survive the night.”
Your amused smile twisted into something more wicked. “I’m your second favorite? I rank above Mum? I’m so telling!”
Sirius gasped. He took his hands off your assignment to grab your wrists.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Calling me your second favorite above the woman who oh-so-graciously let you into her home, into her family,” you teased with a subtle shake of your head. “It’s a disgrace, Sirius.”
“Let me backtrack and correct myself.”
“Okay.”
“Would my second favorite Potter who is currently attending Hogwarts like to go to the dance with me?”
You chuckled and pulled your hands from his grip. “Nice save.”
He sat there, staring at you. You gave him a curious look.
“Well?”
“What?”
“Godric, Potter, the dance. Will you go with me?”
“Oh, you’re being serious.”
“I’m always Sirius.”
You slapped his arm, which was still ersting halfway across the table. There was a beat of silence where he stared at you again. It’s clear that he’s not leaving you alone until he got an answer.
“Sure. I’ll go with your sorry arse.” Sirius smiled at your answer. “Who are the others with?”
“Wormtail’s asked Mary. Marlene got asked by Dorcas. Pandora Rosier’s going with Lovegood. Oh, um, Junior in your year is going with her brother. Stebbins is going with Vance… Uh, that’s all I know.”
You tilted your head curiously. “Remus?”
Sirius matched your head tilt. “Hasn’t asked anyone yet.”
“Yet?”
“Prongs is insistenting that we all ask someone. If he has a date, apparently we all need one.”
You hummed, looking down at your assignment. You don’t want Sirius to see the slight disappointment on your face as you considered what he said. Was it actually nice to get asked to the dance when you weren’t expecting to go? Yes. Was Sirius an attractive bloke? Also yes, but he wasn’t your type and was bordering on being a brother to you. The latter was heightened with his moving in over the summer. You would’ve much rather said yes to going with Remus. Then Sirius could’ve gone with one of the girls who drooled over him.
“So, you’re a definite yes?” Sirius asked, bringing your attention back to you.
“Yes, Black. Now, leave me alone. I gotta finish this for Professor Ceriffine.”
Sirius nodded and slid back down to where he had been sitting with Peter, Mary and Dorcas.
“Padfoot! Got a date yet?” James called across the common room after study hall.
“Asked her in study,” Sirius answered, walking toward him with Peter in tow.
“Who’d you ask?” Remus asked, briefly looking up from his book.
“Little Corvid,” he said with a lazy grin.
“What?” James and Remus gasped at the same time.
“You asked my sister without asking me first?” James continued as Remus fell silent, gripping his book more intensely.
Remus didn’t listen to Sirius’ defense or James’ continued berating. Remus hadn’t told anyone but he had planned on asking you himself once he plucked up the courage. For the briefest of moments, he’s glad he didn’t because of the look on James’ face, but the feeling passed as quickly as it arrived. Remus tried to swallow the sudden resentment he was feeling for Sirius. Sirius had tens of girls who’d be more than happy to go with him. Hell, more than half of them would ask Sirius themselves if they heard Sirius was actively searching for a date. Remus on the other hand, well, he wasn’t sure who else to ask. Peter had already asked Mary and Emmeline got asked too. Remus made a mental note to compare the moon cycle to the dance; maybe it would be too close to a full moon and he could get out of it.
“So that just leaves our Moony!” James said, clamping a hand on Remus’ shoulder, causing him to jump in his seat. “Got your sights set on anyone?”
“No,” he grumbled as he trained his eyes on the pages.
“Well, you got to ask someone. You’re the only one with a date now,” James said, although his tone said he wasn’t okay with Sirius’ date being you, but he would tolerate it.
At dinner, you told Marissa, Lucy, Elias and Martin what happened during study hall. They all seemed surprised.
“I would’ve bet on Remus asking you,” Lucy said. “Given how much time you’ve been spending together.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked.
“Oh, please. You spend more time in the library studying with him than you spend doing anything with us,” Marissa said with a smile. “Like you say, you’ll know it when you see him.”
“What does she know?” Martin asked.
“Nothing. I know absolutely nothing,” you said with a warning tone and look toward Lucy and Marissa.
Yes, you had talked to Elias about Connor, but that was only because they were close. Martin and Elias didn’t need to know much about your potential relationships. The two boys watched as you had a silent conversation with the girls. Lucy and Marissa were fairly certain that you finally had a substantial crush, but you were still coming to terms with it.
“Anyways, I’ll need help deciding on a dress. Boys, you’re welcome to come with if you want,” you said.
Martin snorted a laugh. “Right, because that’s how I want to spend an evening.”
“You don’t want them there. They’d be no help whatsoever,” Marissa said pointedly, reaching for her cup. “You’ve seen what they wear on the weekends.”
You and the girls laughed while the boys attempted to defend their fashion choices.
Remus now had the problem of finding a new girl to ask and working up the courage to ask her. He had checked the moon cycle and the dance was too far away from a full moon to use his furry little problem as an excuse not to go. As Remus went through his day, he’d decide a girl might be alright, ask one of the boys if said girl had a date already and then sigh when they said yes. He debated telling James that he would just go stag – all the girls he’d tolerate an evening with already had dates.
Then he went to Herbology with Peter, their last lesson of the day. Remus scanned the room, almost certain they had already had a class with everyone in the room. Then Remus nudged Peter.
“Tara McMahon. She have a date?” he muttered, trying not to get his hopes up over the Hufflepuff.
Peter pursed his lips and tilted his head as he thought about it. Then he shook his head. “Don’t think so.”
“Right. Cool. Yeah.” Remus told himself that he needed to use class to prepare himself and just ask Tara after the lesson ended.
The worst she could do is say no, right? No. The worst she could do is laugh in Remus’ face, but he didn’t think she would do that. If she already had a date, she’d let Remus down easy. She was a nice girl. He would’ve rather gone on James or Sirius’ word that Tara didn’t have a date yet, but alas, they dropped Herbology the first chance they got.
As soon as the class ended, Remus hurriedly packed up his things and made his way to Tara. If he hesitated, he’d lose all his nerve.
“Hey, Tara! Got a second?”
She looked up from putting her things away. “Remus, hi.”
“Would you like to go to the dance with me?”
Blunt. Straight to the point. Very romantic. Just how every girl dreams of being asked.
“Yeah, I’d love to,” she said with a sweet smile. She appeared to mean it.
“Great. Thanks.”
There, he’d done it. He got himself a date, even if it wasn’t his first choice. He hated that you were going with Sirius instead of him. He was the one you sat with in the library. He was the one who invited you to the Gryffindor party and then sat with you all night. He was the one who called you Little Corvid. But it was one night. Remus could survive one night with you on Sirius’ arm, even if it killed him inside.
---
As you walked down the corridor toward the Great Hall, you pulled uncomfortably at your dress. You don’t remember picking it out or even trying it on. If you liked it in the store, you certainly hated it now. It’s uncomfortable. It’s itchy. It’s too tight. Something poking you in the side. You saw Sirius waiting for you outside the hall. He smiled when he saw you, taking your hand to lead you inside. You don’t even recognize the Great Hall or half the people around you. As if the dress wasn’t enough, the music is too, the bass vibrating your brain and bones. Suddenly, you’re chest to chest with Sirius in the middle of the dance floor. The music shifted into something intense with strings. Your arms were around his neck with his hands on your waist. You were swaying in time to the slow song. Then Sirius started to lean in. He pressed his lips to yours. You wanted to move, to back up, to get away from it, but you’re frozen. You can’t even scream. All you could do was wait for it to end, but his lips picked up speed and ferocity. You wished you could bring your hands down from around his neck to push his chest away from you. Just as he began to pull back-
You sat up in your bed in a cold sweat. It was the middle of the night. You couldn’t catch your breath. It wasn’t real. You tried to slow your breathing, or at least make it quieter so you don’t wake your roommates. When you’ve calmed yourself, you relaxed a bit more; it had only been a dream. A weird and uncomfortable dream.
As much as you tried, you couldn’t fall back asleep. You tossed and turned and eventually settled for staring at the canopy above your bed until morning. You knew you were going to be a zombie all day. From barely eating anything at breakfast to nearly falling asleep in Transfiguration, you’re so out of it. The few times a professor called on you during class, you answered their questions wrong, even if you knew the correct answer in your bones. Focusing and being present weren’t things you could do. Getting through the day was tough enough without professors expecting you to learn.
You went to the library after classes like usual. Maybe some quiet was what you needed. Then you spotted Remus. You’ve never been quite so glad that he was alone. His presence could be what you needed to focus. You approached his table and took the spot across from him, like you’ve done many times before. Except you realize, before you even take out your things, that you need to talk. That dream really struck a nerve. You didn’t bother bringing it up to any of your friends. Even if they didn’t care too much about the Marauders, Marissa and Lucy would tell you that they were wrong about Remus and that you actually liked Sirius. Lucy was already coming around to that idea – because why else would you have said yes to him?
Remus looked up from his book and gave you a warm smile. Your stomach most definitely did not flip. Nope, that would be silly. Why would a smile make you feel weak in the knees? That wasn’t rational.
“Remus, do you know how to interpret dreams?” you asked, voice sounding more weak than you had expected.
He chuckled softly. “Don’t take Divination, but I can try if something’s bugging you, Little Corvid. How hard can it be?”
You rubbed your temples gently. It was really, really bugging you.
“It was about the winter ball. There was a slow dance and Sirius kissed me-”
“Maybe you should ask one of your friends ‘bout it?” Remus interrupted you. “One of them must take Divination, right?”
“Oh, um, I mean they do but…”
Great, you thought, Remus can’t help. Remus felt miserable as he watched you. He didn’t understand your expression. You had said yes to Sirius and were now dreaming about kissing him. Were you expecting Remus to be a wingman for you? You already had the date.
“I’ll, uh, see you later, Lupin,” you muttered, standing up and hurrying away from him.
That hadn’t gone how you wanted it to. You really thought Remus would’ve listened to you longer and given some advice. Your breathing was uneven as you returned to Ravenclaw Tower. Your roommates watched you move through the common room and head straight to your dorm; they swore you had just left for the library and didn’t expect you back until late, like usual. Did they say or do anything? No. Their trivial gossip was more important to them.
Remus didn’t stay much longer in the library after you left. Your expression was burned into his brain. It baffled him. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and your dream. He knew he probably didn’t handle it the best, but what was he supposed to say? He was sitting in his dorm alone, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, when Sirius entered. Remus regretted asking Sirius about it before he even did.
“You know much ‘bout dream?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“Probably as much as you. Why?” Sirius responded, loosening his tie and tossing it in his trunk.
“What does it mean if you have a dream about kissing someone?”
Sirius snorted a laugh as he undid his shirt buttons. “Usually means you want to kiss that person.”
Remus’ stomach twisted but he tried not to show his reaction on his face. Sirius had gotten to you first and now you wanted to kiss him. Remus lost his chance.
“So,” Sirius started to say with a grin on his face, “who do you want to kiss?”
“Wasn’t my dream.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide. Now Remus really had his attention. Sirius moved to lean against Remus’ bedpost.
“Whose was it?”
Remus didn’t answer right away. He knew he shouldn’t tell Sirius since it was about him.
“Y/N,” he said quietly, staring at the floor.
That got Sirius invested. He watched Remus with a curious expression.
“Who does she want to kiss?”
Remus knew he’d ask that.
“You,” he said with an eye roll. All girls want to kiss Sirius. “I guess she had a dream about the dance. Real romantic, eh?”
“Yeah… Romantic…” Sirius muttered, more to himself than Remus.
Sirius was silent as he moved to his bed, collapsing on top of it. He ran a hand through his hair. His mind was spinning. He had asked you platonically to the dance. He meant it when he said that he wanted a Potter to hang out with at the dance. If James was going to be distracted by Lily all night, he wanted a girl he could joke around with. But you wanted to kiss him. He hadn’t been expecting that.
---
Marissa and Lucy went with you to find a dress. The dresses you picked out looked better on the mannequins than they did on you. It was a bit disheartening. But that’s why you brought the girls with. You knew they’d be able to help you. You gave them your minimum requirements and set them loose. Within minutes, they had more dresses for you to try on. And you tried them on until you were happy.
It fit right. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t itchy. There was nothing to poke you in the side.
Were you trying to avoid the situation from your dream? Maybe. But the girls said you looked gorgeous in the dress and that Sirius’ jaw was going to drop when he saw you. You reminded them that that wasn’t the intention, but you still wanted to look good. They assured you even more that you did.
Then the evening of the winter ball, the girls helped you get ready. Once again, you offered Martin and Elias to come hang out while the girls did your hair and you did your makeup, but they said they’d take a shower in gobstone goo. You thought they were being a tad dramatic. A simple ‘no thanks’ would have sufficed.
The night started to feel like deja vu. Walking down the corridor toward the Great Hall, except the corridor wasn’t eerily empty. Sirius waiting for you outside the hall and smiling when he sees you. At least you felt confident and comfortable in your dress. Sirius took your hand in his and lifted it to place a kiss on your knuckles.
“You look lovely,” he said with a smile.
“And you don’t look half bad yourself.”
“There’s the energy I need for tonight,” he replied with a cheeky smile.
It was already better than the dream. He led you inside the hall, which was more recognizable than in your dream. It was decorated with extravagant ice sculptures, gigantic icicles hanging from the buttresses and false snow falling from the ceiling without actually reaching the ground. The entire room seemed to shimmer. It was beautiful.
Also unlike your dream, you recognized the people around you. Seventh years you never talked to, sixth years who barely spared you a second glance most of the time, a handful of fifth years who got invited like you, and the Marauders, their friends and dates. Lily, Marlene, Mary and Dorcas were having a lively conversation while James and Peter stood near them. You didn’t see Remus.
“Oh my Merlin!” Marlene exclaimed when you and Sirius approached the group. “Y/N, you look beautiful!”
You blushed. “Thank you. You look fantastic!”
Sirius let you talk with the girls, going to stand with James and Peter. You wanted to ask the girls if they’d seen Remus, but you didn’t know if it was your place to ask. Surely he had gotten a date for himself and was off with her somewhere. You just wanted to see him. For him to see you all dressed. You wouldn’t let yourself linger too long on why you wanted him to see you all dressed up.
The girls take your hands and drag you out onto the dance floor. The boys followed, not wanting to stray too far from their dates. Especially James who placed himself right next to Lily. You were grateful the other girls were there; they made it feel less like imposing on the Marauders. After a few songs, Remus appeared with a girl you didn’t know. You thought she maybe was a Hufflepuff? Maybe you’d seen Lucy or Elias talking to her, or you’ve sat near her when you’ve been at their table?
When you made eye contact with Remus, you exchanged your usual smiles, but Remus’ didn’t feel as warm as they did in the library. It pained your heart slightly, but you knew better than to dwell on that right now. You were at a dance. You were supposed to have fun at dances.
The song shifted to something slower, romantic with strings. The feeling of deja vu returned. The group split into couples, and Sirius pulled you close. Chest to chest. It hit you that you’ve never actually been this close to Sirius. His hands rested on your waist and your arms were around his neck – just like your dream, except you felt more relaxed. You knew this was real. Plus, you knew that Sirius wouldn’t actually kiss you. You were James’ little sister. Certainly James would’ve had a talk with Sirius and told him that he was dead if tried anything. Right?
Then it happened all too quickly. Sirius was gazing down at you with a soft expression. Your chest tightened with panic as you realized he’s leaning in. Unlike your dream, you aren’t frozen. Your arms came down from his neck and gently pushed his chest as you took a step back. Then another step back. You weren’t focused on what your face was saying, but you’re sure it’s something akin to surprise and astonishment and freaking out. Sirius looked utterly confused. You didn’t know what to do so you did the only thing that felt right: you ran.
You turned and ran out of the Great Hall. You knew that you must’ve attracted a ton of eyes in doing so, but you needed to get out of there. You ran until you made it outside, breathing in the cold winter air. Each breath you took felt like a lifeline, but you were still freaking out.
As soon as you left the hall, Sirius, with his mouth gaping, gave Remus an accusatory look. Sirius thought that Remus told him about a fake dream so that he would make a fool of himself. Remus wasn't looking at Sirius though; he was turned toward the door before deciding to leave his date and follow you out.
That left Peter, and the girls, to wrangle James, keeping him off of Sirius.
As Remus left the hall, he could hear echoes of “That’s my goddamn sister, you git!” and “What the bloody hell were you thinking?” and “Stay away from her!” There were also “I thought she wanted it!” and “Prongs/James, calm down!” SIrius tried to not feel bad about using Peter as a human shield, but he knew that James wouldn’t murder Peter. He couldn’t say the same about himself right now.
Remus looked in various closets and empty classrooms as he passed them in his search for you. Luckily for him, the door you slipped out of didn’t close fully behind you.
“Corvid?” he called as he stepped outside.
He scanned the area immediately beyond the door. He didn’t see you right away. You had stepped off to the side, sitting on the wall ledge with your head in your hands. You weren’t crying, but you still felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your mind was reeling from your dream essentially coming true.
“Corvid!” Remus repeated when he spotted you.
He ran up to you. He didn’t touch you when he realized the state you were in. Instead, he crouched down and tentatively rested his hands on your knees to help balance himself. You gave a shuttered breath and looked at him. He couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you looked with your cheeks rosied up from the cold.
“It happened, Remus. Like my dream…” you said with a weak voice. “Except this time, I could move… Thank Merlin…”
He furrowed his brows and tilted his head.
“You ran away before he could kiss you, darling,” he reminded you, obviously confused at your state. Wasn’t that what you wanted?
“That’s the, um, ‘thank Merlin’ part?” you said slowly, appearing just as confused as the boy in front of you. “I… I don’t want to kiss him.”
The color drained from Remus’ face despite the hope now building inside of him. So, Sirius might murder him, but you didn’t like Sirius like that.
“You don’t? But… your dream?” He tried to put as much emphasis on the last word as he could. Dreams were good things, right?
You shook your head. “No, Remus… Perhaps it’s better phrased as a nightmare? I mean, it wasn’t scary, but certainly not something I wanted to happen. The whole dream was uncomfortable… As was that, but at least I could move. I could stop it from actually happening.”
Yes, Sirius was going to kill Remus.
You took another shaky breath and immediately followed it with a groan.
“The whole school’s going to be talking about this, aren’t they?” you whined. “Baby Potter gets asked by the Sirius Black to the dance and then she runs away when he tries to kiss her? Godric, it’s so much drama…”
Remus chuckled as he stood up and offered you his hand. You took it. As soon as you were up, he pulled you into a hug. You don’t think you’ve ever been hugged by Remus before. His body warmed you instantly and his smell flooded your nostrils. Your breath got caught in your throat. The feeling of his arms around you sent butterflies to your stomach, taking you by surprise. The butterflies were more intense than the simple flipping of your stomach.
“If it’s any comfort, you didn’t get a choice in the drama…” Remus muttered.
You pulled back ever so slightly from the hug.
“If I had said no to coming-” you started to say.
“Then the whole castle would be talking about how James’ sister turned his best friend down.”
‘And then I would’ve asked you,’ Remus finished in his head.
You sighed, understanding what Remus meant. “I didn’t choose the drama… James did.”
“I mean, I wasn’t going to point fingers, but… yeah. James, Sirius, Peter and me. Big ol’ dramatic bunch that you’re related to.”
“Damned by association and blood,” you said louder than Remus expected but there’s a smile on your face again.
“Let’s get you inside. It’s damn cold. … And we can see if there’s a bit of your date remaining since you left with James with only Peter as protection.”
You laughed. “Black can handle himself against James. Certainly more than Pete can.”
By the time you got back to the Great Hall, James was over by the drink table with Lily, still looking heated. Sirius, Peter and the rest of the girls were on the other side of the hall. You and Remus approached the latter group first.
“Erm, I’m sorry,” Sirius said as soon as he saw you. “I thought-”
“Don’t worry about it,” you said. You glanced toward James. “We good to have it not happen again?”
“Yes. Heard. Won’t be trying to kiss you as long as I value my life.”
You nodded and headed over to James. Remus watched you walk away until Sirius hit his shoulder aggressively.
“What the fuck, Moony?” he hissed.
“Apparently, Little Corvid didn’t tell me everything.”
“Really?” Sirius asked in mock disbelief.
“She called it a dream the first time and now she’s telling me it was a nightmare.”
Sirius hit his shoulder again. “A fucking nightmare? I’m going to end you.”
Marlene moved in between the two boys.
“Nope. We already stopped one homicide tonight. We don’t need to stop a second.”
“James,” you said, bringing his attention from Lily to you.
“Y/N,” he breathed. “Are you okay?”
He put his hands on both of your shoulders, looking you in the eyes.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Sirius and I, we’re good.” You paused. “Are you good?”
“The wanker tried to kiss you!”
“James.”
“First he asks you out without talking to me first and then he tries to make a move on you? I-”
“James,” you said more forcefully. “He’s already promised to never try to kiss me again. We’re good. And if it’s worth anything, he’s not my type.”
“Who is your type then?” Lily asked, moving to stand right next to James.
You flushed. “Unimportant. Just tell me you’ll forgive Sirius.”
James stared at you with a hardened expression. “Fine,” he grumbled out after a few seconds.
“Good. I think we can still enjoy the rest of tonight, yeah?”
“Yes!” Lily exclaimed, grabbing your hand and pulling you from James’ hands.
She brought you to the dance floor with the rest of the group following close behind. James was still giving Sirius warning glances while Sirius sent glares toward Remus. Peter was the only boy in the circle able to relax and have a good time. He had done nothing wrong.
You were right that running away from Sirius’ kiss attempt would spread like wildfire in the world of gossip, but you were more or less saved from it by the incoming Christmas holiday. Before you knew it, you were on the train heading home. And you were more than ready to leave your dorm. Lindsey and Alison were unbearable in the aftermath of the dance. They didn’t understand why you ran and they reminded you of their bafflement every second they could.
You had your own bafflement when you found your parents at the station. James, Sirius and Remus flanked them. And then all three of them went through the barrier with you and your parents following. No one mentioned to you that Remus would be joining you for Christmas. He would later tell you that his parents decided to go to the States for Christmas and his mother insisted on traveling muggle-style, which for some reason meant he couldn’t go with. And, of course, the Potters were always happy to host their children’s friends. You asked about Peter and apparently he begged his parents to visit one of his sisters for Christmas so he could join the party, but no success.
There seemed to be a silent agreement among the four of you that no one would bring up the incident to your parents. Some things they didn’t need to know. Just like over the summer, you tried your best to give the boys space. You didn’t want to mess up their dynamic anymore than you already had. You spent as much time with your mother as you could, which meant spending endless hours in the kitchen baking Christmas desserts.
“We expect to come back to an intact house,” your father said, looking at the boys. “I do not want to find the fire department outside. Do you hear me?”
The boys nodded.
“Great. Then we’re off. Be good.”
Your parents stepped into the fireplace and used floo powder to go to a Christmas party. It was going to be just you and the boys in the house until like 2 a.m. Your plans involved “borrowing” a bottle of elvish wine and settling on the couch with your latest book. You didn’t really care what the boys got up to as long as they left you alone.
You relit the fire and sat down on the couch. The atmosphere in the room was perfect, relaxing, calm. Christmas-y. The tree in the corner of the room seemed to glitter with the dancing light from the fire. You weren’t sure where the boys had gone while you prepared for your evening, but then James and Sirius bounded down the stairs with an ungodly amount of noise.
“Fancy a snowball fight?” James offered as he pulled on his boots.
You made a face and gestured to the fire. “No.”
“Ah, you and Moony… bunch of flobberworms,” Sirius said before pushing James out the front door.
So Remus wasn’t going to join their snowball fight. You wondered if he was going to sit upstairs all night. You wouldn’t mind if he decided he wanted to hang out with you on the couch, maybe reading his own book and enjoying the warm atmosphere you had created. You had barely uncorked the wine bottle and opened your book when Remus appeared at the stop of the stairs.
“Do, erm, do you mind if I sit with you?” he asked. You could see that he did have a book with him.
“Only if you drink with me,” you said with a cheeky smile as you raised the bottle for him to see.
He chuckled and came down the stairs. He sat down next to you and got comfortable, draping a blanket over his legs. He reached over to grab the bottle and took a swig.
“Your mum let you have this?” he asked.
“Guess we’ll find out if she throws a fit tomorrow or not.”
Remus smirked at you and took another swig before handing you the bottle back. You read in a comfortable silence for a while, handing the bottle back and forth. The only noise was the crackle of the fire and muffled yells from James and Sirius. You peered at Remus over the top of your book, appreciating how the fire accentuated his features in the best ways. He wasn’t even doing anything and yet your heart started to race.
“Can I tell you something?” Remus asked after taking a swig of the bottle and handing it to you.
“Yeah.” You placed a bookmark to save your spot and closed your book, giving Remus your full attention.
“I was going to ask you to the dance.”
You stared at Remus with wide eyes and now your heart was most definitely pounding. You had wished it was Remus who asked you. That was only increased by the incident.
“Why didn’t you?” you asked in a soft voice, your throat feeling tight.
“Sirius got to you first,” Remus said, throwing his head against the back of the couch. “I was working up the courage to ask you and he comes back to the common room announcing that he’s already asked you.”
You pressed your lips together, taking in Remus. “I wish you had asked me.”
Remus sat up straighter and turned his body to face you.
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
You stared at each other in a thick silence for a few moments. You were both trying to figure out what the other meant.
“Wouldn’t’ve had that awkward almost-kissing incident,” you said with an awkward chuckle. You immediately regretted saying it, because why on earth would you say that?
“What if… what if I had tried to kiss you?” Remus asked in a low voice, looking toward the fire so he didn’t have to see your reaction, as if rejection would sting less if he only had to hear it.
“It wouldn’t have been an almost.”
His gaze snapped back to you. “It wouldn’t have been an almost?”
You put the bottle of wine on the side table along with your book and scooted closer to Remus so you could move his book from his lap. You could barely think with your heart beating as loud as it was; Remus could barely breathe with what you said and what you just did.
“I wouldn’t have ran away,” you said, not breaking eye contact with Remus.
“You wouldn’t have…” Remus’ voice died in this throat.
He frantically patted his pants and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He gave it a quick wave. A sprig of mistletoe suddenly appeared above you, floating precariously. You looked up at it in awe and let out a small giggle.
“Oh, would you look at that,” you said in a soft voice that was laced with mirth.
“It’s tradition, you know,” he said, matching your volume and leaning just slightly forward.
“It’d be a shame to ignore tradition.”
“Right.”
A beat passed. Neither of you moved, yet you continued to stare at each other.
“Just kiss me already, Remus,” you said. You honestly felt that you might combust if he waited any longer.
Remus swallowed, wet his lips and leaned forward, meeting you halfway. It was soft and tentative, barely a brush of lips, but it was enough to send fireworks through you. You both pulled back, feeling shaky and blushing like crazy. Remus looked at you nervously until you broke into a wide smile. You shifted so you were sitting even closer to him. You looked up again at the mistletoe.
“Huh, it’s still there,” you mused. “Must mean we need to try again.”
Remus let out a shaky chuckle. “Yeah, yeah. Try again.”
This time you leaned into him. The second kiss was more confident. It was lips slotted together and movement. You were each applying pressure to the kiss, like you were fueled by a hunger for the other. Remus brought a hand up to cup your face as the other rested comfortably on your waist. You had one hand supporting yourself on the couch and the other on his chest. It was only a hair short of being considered a snog.
For your first and second kisses, you were quite pleased. When you inevitably told Marissa and Lucy about it when you got back to school, you would describe it as magical. Cheesy, but, Merlin, it was. Remus made you feel something. All those times you said you’d know him when you saw him, you didn’t realize that you just needed to see him in a new light.
And then the front door opened.
“Moony, what the actual fuck?” James’ voice boomed through the room.
You and Remus broke apart. You were both bright red, panting and wearing matching grins. James looked furious. Behind him, Sirius had an unreadable expression on his face. This would explain why you didn’t want to kiss him at the ball; he was the wrong Marauder.
You pointed to the green plant still floating above you and Remus.
“Mistletoe,” you said casually, as if your brother hadn’t just walked in on one of his best friends making out with his little sister.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: You and James Potter were once intertwined, hearts beating for each other, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you decided to break up, taking Harold with you and Harry with him.
Pairings: James Potter x fem!reader
"Do you have everything?" you softly asked your nine-year-old son, who looked so much like his father-minus the missing glasses.
"Yup, including this!" he joyfully replied, showing you the back of his ID, which had the ripped, almost greying picture of James.
You mirrored your son's smile, though it was a bit strained. There was a tug at your heartstrings, one you had become accustomed to whenever Harold brought up James in conversation. The feeling, though familiar, was never welcomed.
Heaving a deep breath, you squeezed Harold's shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you, bubs," you said in a melancholy voice, the slight waver in your words not lost on your nine-year-old boy.
Harold grabbed your face in both of his small hands, pulling it closer to meet his puppy eyes.
"It'll be just a few weeks, Mum," he said with a boyish smile, which made you roll your eyes. You were expecting an "I'll miss you too, Mum," but given that he was James Potter's son, you shouldn't have expected anything less cheeky from him.
The thought made your heart ache again.
"Have fun without me, yeah?" The sound of the train's whistle made him grin before he nodded his head in excitement, dragging you along toward the scarlet engine.
"I'll miss you too, Mum," he murmured as you both stopped in front of the train. You bent down to his height, peppering his face with wet kisses, which made the young boy giggle.
Your soft moment was cut short as the train whistled again, making you pull away with a sad smile, unshed tears glittering in the dancing rays of sunlight.
"Go," you softly murmured, ushering him inside the train.
Harold went inside, pausing at the entrance to wave a kiss goodbye. Then, he ran off, excitement radiating with each step he took.
Harold ran without looking back, a giddy smile plastered on his face. But it was soon wiped off as he collided with someone, letting out a small whimper as his bum hit the ground with a loud thud.
"I'm sorry," a young voice said from above, its owner stretching out a hand.
"Let me help you."
Harold took the offered hand and pulled himself up.
"Sorry about that. I wasn't looking where I was going," he said, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
"I'm Harold, by the way. Harold L/N." He offered his hand to the boy, whose face was adorned with round glasses.
The boy beamed at the introduction before taking Harold's small hand in his, squeezing it gently with a gently with a thrilled smile.
"I'm Harry. Harry Potter."
…
The two boys found themselves in a heap of candies, their mouths full of sugary delicacies that would surely make your face pinch in worry.
“So, what do you plan on doing during our camp, Haz?” Harold inquired casually as he took a bite of a licorice wand. “Can I call you Haz?” he added with a friendly smile.
Harry pulled his gaze away from the scene outside the moving train, having been fascinated by the picturesque countryside. “Probably try and learn some flying tricks,” he said proudly, a smirk—oddly identical to Harold’s—plastered on his face. “Actually, Haz is what my uncles and dad call me,” Harry added, his expression softening.
“How about you?” It was Harry’s turn to ask, his head tilting slightly in interest.
“Pranks,” Harold immediately answered, smiling playfully at Harry, whose eyes widened slightly.
“No way,” Harry murmured in disbelief. “My uncle Padfoot, Moony, and dad used to do that back when they were at Hogwarts,” he recalled.
“I bet they’re cool,” Harold whispered excitedly, his interest piqued at the mention of Harry’s dad and uncles.
“Super cool,” Harry affirmed with a nod.
For a moment, silence enveloped the children as they munched on their sweets. It wasn’t uncomfortable—it felt natural, as if they had known each other far longer than this train ride.
“You know, we can prank the kids in the camp. I brought dungbombs with me,” Harold said, breaking the silence. Almost immediately, Harry’s face lit up.
“My aunt Marlene sends me packages of dungbombs. It drives my mum nuts because she doesn’t really like them,” Harold added, rummaging through his backpack.
“You have an aunt called Marlene too?” Harry’s eyes went wide as saucers, his face etched with utter surprise.
“I do, but I’ve never met her. I only know about her because of my mum,” Harold said with a shrug, nonchalant about their shared, unknown connection, as he continued digging through his bag.
“My dad’s close friend is also called Marlene. They were friends back at Hogwarts!” Harry exclaimed.
“Speaking of Hogwarts, which house do you think you’ll be sorted into?” Harold asked as he finally pulled out a pack of dungbombs.
“Gryffindor of course,” Harry said casually, as if he already knew where he would be sorted.
“Just like your dad?”
Harry nodded. “Yes. What about you?”
“Probably wherever my mum was sorted,” Harold said with a small smile.
…
The whole train ride was spent getting to know a bit about each other, discussing plans for the camp, and sharing their mutual interest in Quidditch. Harry seemed more inclined to play the sport, while Harold was perfectly content watching rather than being a player himself.
Before they knew it, the train screeched to a halt as they arrived at the camp just before the sun began its descent.
The two boys started gathering the trash, stuffing it into a plastic bag to throw away later. Once they were done, they grabbed their bags, slung them across their shoulders, and left their compartment with beaming smiles plastered on their faces.
“Everyone! Please fall in line for the headcount!” A familiar voice called out, making Harry whip his head toward the source.
There stood a lanky man with scars etched across his face—some old, some freshly acquired. He looked friendly despite his scars, a gentle smile adorning his face as he encouraged the kids to fall in line.
“Moony!” Harry called, running toward the tall man, with Harold following close behind. Harold’s brows pinched together in confusion as he tried to recall where he had seen this man before. There was something familiar about him, but he couldn’t quite place it.
“Haz!” the man—whom Harry had called Moony—greeted enthusiastically, his gaze shifting to meet Harold’s eyes with a smile.
“I didn’t know you’d be here!” Harry said, grinning.
Remus nearly jumped out of his skin as he looked from Harry to Harold, then back to Harry again.
“I—Merlin’s beard,” he stammered, his face paling as if he had just witnessed a tragic death unfold before his eyes.
First chapter is out! Yay! Let me know what you think about it! I am open for constructive criticisms and as always, I apologize for any mistake that I have made.
synopsis: in which you become the secret santa of none other than james potter
genre: fluff
warnings: none
author's note: ik it isn't even december, oh well, i couldn't help myself :)
word count: 1.1k
part two!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ SNOW FLUTTERED GENTLY AGAINST the tall, frosted windows of the Gryffindor common room, casting a soft glow over the cosy space. The fire crackled merrily in the hearth, and the air buzzed with anticipation as the Gryffindor gang gathered in a circle on the floor, laughing and sipping on mugs of cocoa.
Sirius, always the self-appointed leader of mischief, stood atop one of the squishy armchairs like he was addressing a crowd of thousands. His dark hair flopped dramatically as he gestured toward the large bowl of folded parchment in his hands.
“Lend me your ears!” Sirius announced with flair. “It is time for the greatest, most legendary Gryffindor tradition—our annual Secret Santa! The only thing that rivals this sacred event is when James hexed Snivellus’—”
“Sirius!” Lily interrupted, fixing him with a sharp glare, though the corners of her mouth twitched in amusement. “If you could manage to keep it PG, that’d be great.”
Sirius sighed dramatically, holding a hand to his chest. “Evans, your lack of faith wounds me. I’m a model of propriety.”
Remus snorted softly from his seat on the arm of the couch. “Sure you are.”
“Can we please get on with it before Sirius bursts into a sonnet about himself?” James chimed in, sprawled out on the floor with his hands behind his head. His untamable hair stuck out in every direction, and his glasses were slightly askew. He was grinning, the kind of grin that could light up an entire room.
“You’re just eager because you’re convinced you’ll get Evans again,” Marlene teased, leaning over to flick James on the shoulder.
James shot her a mock-wounded look. “For your information, I have no such hopes. My heart will graciously accept any gift—except socks. Sirius.”
Sirius gasped. “I would never.”
“You absolutely would,” Dorcas piped up with a smirk, earning a round of laughter from the group.
“Alright, alright!” Sirius cut in, gesturing dramatically toward the bowl in his hands. “The rules are simple: pick a name, don’t tell anyone who you’ve got, and if your gift sucks, prepare to be ruthlessly mocked.”
“Sounds fair,” Peter muttered as he scratched his nose.
One by one, the group leaned forward to pluck a slip of parchment from the bowl. You waited until your turn, your fingers brushing against the cool paper as you grabbed a folded chit. Your heart skipped a beat as you unfolded it and saw the name:
James Potter.
Your eyes instinctively darted toward him. James was mid-laugh, probably at some ridiculous quip Sirius had made, and there was a mischievous sparkle in his hazel eyes. You quickly looked away before anyone could notice the heat rising to your cheeks.
Of all the names you could’ve drawn, it had to be James.
From the moment names were drawn, the common room became a hotbed of shenanigans.
“Oi, love,” James said casually the next evening as you sat near the fire, working on your Potions essay. “You can just tell me who you’ve got, you know. Save yourself the stress.”
You didn’t even look up from your parchment. “Nice try, Potter. Not happening.”
He leaned back in his chair, clutching his chest dramatically. “You wound me! After everything we’ve been through?”
“I’m doing you a favour,” you said with a smirk, finally glancing up. “Imagine the disappointment if I told you someone else got you and not your precious Evans.”
His grin widened, and there was a playful glint in his eyes. “Who says I want Evans?”
You raised an eyebrow. “You’ve only been after her for, what, three years?”
James shrugged, leaning forward on his elbows. “Maybe I’ve had a change of heart. Maybe there’s someone else who’s caught my eye.”
Your cheeks burned, and you quickly ducked your head to pretend you were reading your essay. “Well, whoever they are, I’m sure they pity you.”
He threw his head back with a laugh, and your stomach did an annoying little flip. Merlin, he was impossible.
The chaos only deepened as Christmas approached. James became increasingly annoying in his quest to figure out his Secret Santa, trying to weasel answers out of everyone.
“Wormtail, it’s you, isn’t it?”
“What? No!” Peter said, flustered, clutching his Charms textbook.
“It’s Moony, then,” James decided, turning to Remus.
“I’m not saying anything,” Remus said calmly, flipping a page in his book. “But if you keep pestering me, I’ll make sure whoever has you gets you socks.”
“Traitors, all of you,” James declared, throwing himself onto the couch in defeat.
“I heard Sirius in Honeydukes the other day asking the shopkeeper if they could make a giant chocolate wolf. Like, life-sized.” Marlene whispered, her eyes wide with glee.
You clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish I were,” Marlene said, grinning. “The poor clerk looked like they didn’t know whether to laugh or run.”
“Are you two gossiping about me?” Sirius asked, turning to narrow his eyes at you and Marlene.
“Always,” Marlene quipped, not missing a beat.
Sirius looked pleased. “As you should.”
You spent hours agonising over James’ gift. He was impossible to shop for—he had everything he needed, and he didn’t seem the type to care much about material things. But you wanted it to be special, something that would show you’d noticed the little things about him.
Finally, inspiration struck.
You bought him a small, leather-bound notebook, the kind with a soft cover and faint golden stars embossed on the front. James was always scribbling something—Quidditch plays, spell ideas, random doodles. It seemed like the perfect fit.
Inside the front cover, you wrote:
For all your brilliant (and slightly ridiculous) ideas. - ♡
You also found a tiny enchanted Snitch pin at a shop in Hogsmeade. It was gold and delicate, and its tiny wings occasionally fluttered when touched. You figured it was subtle enough to wear but still a nod to his love for Quidditch.
The common room glowed with the warmth of fairy lights strung around the tree, and the group had gathered again, this time with a pile of wrapped gifts beneath the branches. Sirius had, naturally, donned a Santa hat and was gleefully handing out presents.
When it was James’ turn, he tore into the wrapping paper with childlike enthusiasm, his grin widening as he pulled out the notebook and pin.
“This is…” He trailed off, turning the notebook over in his hands. His hazel eyes softened as he read the note inside, and a small, genuine smile played on his lips. “This is brilliant.”
He held up the pin, letting it catch the light, and glanced around the room. “Whoever got me this, you’ve officially got better taste than Sirius.”
“Oi!” Sirius protested, though he was laughing.
James’ gaze flickered to you for a brief moment, and your heart stuttered. Did he know? The way his smile lingered made you wonder, but you quickly looked away, your cheeks warm.
For now, you were content with the way his smile lit up the room.
⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters'. your first day goes very poorly . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 5.1k
⟢ warnings: there is talk about the reader's previous hostile home environment, although it's not pictured. walburga black is implied to be mentally unstable. a theme here is the lasting impact growing up in that environment has on a person: reader fears becoming like her parents, longs for a more loving environment, doesn't handle her emotions very well, and picks fights. both anger and sadness are dealt with unhealthily by different characters. if there is anything i should add here, please please let me know.
⟢ part 1 ⟡ part 2 ⟡ part 3 ⟡ masterlist
note: well! yikes! angst! i'm not sure i like the vision but i’m trying to remind myself this is a hobby and doesn’t have to be perfect <3
“A walk?” You questioned with a raspy voice.
“Mhm,” James nodded, “Just around the yard. Think it’ll help you feel better.”
You let James lead you to the back door, hand and hand. When he opened it, you discovered that “yard” was a bit of an understatement. The Potters’ property was larger than you knew— enormous, really. Lush garden beds thrived nearest to the house, and the grassy green beyond was surely where James practiced quidditch over the summers. The large trees scattered around the outskirts of the property made you picture a younger James climbing them.
James led you into the grassy landscape, taking notice of your awestricken expression as your eyes fall on Euphemia’s garden.
“I knew you’d like it out here.”
“It’s beautiful,” you mused, stopping to admire a bed of flowers. James dipped down and plucked one from the ground.
He fit it behind your ear and winked, “Don’t tell my mum.”
You frowned, reaching up to remove the flower from your hair. You twirled it inbetween your fingers.
“Your mum must think so poorly of me now,” you muttered, staring down at the flower.
“What? Why would you say that?”
“The first thing Sirius and I did after we were invited to stay is have a screaming match in the dining room. We sure know how to make ourselves feel at home,” you laughed bitterly. “And now she knows we’re together. Didn’t even get to properly tell her. I can’t imagine what she thinks of me.”
“Hey, look at me.” James said in a stern but gentle voice. You wonder how all the Potters can sound so kind even when they’re working up to a lecture.
You peered up through your eyelashes. James sported a pretty smile, and that alone made you feel a little better.
“It’s gonna be alright,” he said, “My mum’s not one to jump to any conclusions. She trusts me, alright? And don't worry about your fight with Sirius. No one's expecting this to be easy for you. For either of you."
James continued, “Besides, we all let our emotions get the best of us sometimes, yeah? We’re human. My parents will understand.”
James could tell you over and over again that it’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to slip up, but you didn’t think any amount of it would ever make it feel okay. You wondered how he could even believe it.
It surprised you, actually, how mature and level-headed James could be. We’re human so it’s just okay if our emotions get the best of us sometimes? Who actually thinks like that?
At your house, you had to be nothing short of perfect at all times. Now that you’ve seen Fleamont and Euphemia in parent mode, you can see where James learned it all. You never had anything like that, and it was difficult to wrap your mind around it.
Especially because it wasn’t too long ago that James was one of Hogwarts’ biggest trouble makers—his pranks were the epitome of immature. Evidently, he's grown up a lot recently.
Stupidly, you felt bitter about it. Which was completely absurd, you thought. Because surely you were not jealous of your boyfriend because he learned how to regulate his emotions better than you did. Because he was growing up, maturing? And you… well you don’t know what you’re doing. You felt stuck, like you’d always be a scared little kid who needs her older brothers’ no matter how old you got.
“Maybe you’re right,” you said, not really knowing what else to say. You were compelled to change the subject, “I’m worried about Regulus.”
“I know,” James began leading you around the garden again. You dropped the flower back where it came from, not wanting to be caught red handed with a freshly murdered flower from Effie’s garden.
“We have to get him out of there,” you sighed.
James looked at you through the corner of his eye. Apprehensively, he said, “From what Sirius told me, you guys barely got out of there.”
“Yeah, so we’ll need a really good plan so that we don’t get caught.”
James turned his head to look straight at you. He looked at you like you had two heads.
“What, you want to break him out or something? You want to go back there?”
“We have to. Regulus–“
“Regulus made his choice.” James interrupted warily.
You felt your heart sink into your stomach, “Please, not you too.”
“You heard what Sirius said. Regulus was given the option, and he chose to stay behind,” James tried to reason.
James knew how much your twin meant to you, it wasn't a surprise that you'd be worried about him. But to go back to that house? That was a step too far for his comfort. The moment that Sirius admitted exactly what his mother had done to him, James knew he'd never let either of you near her again. Something must've snapped in Walburga Black— she has been teetering on the edge for years, but she has unmistakably gone from being a cruel mother to an outright unstable woman.
The though of Regulus still being around her made him sick. Even though James didn't know him that well, he still found himself caring about him. It was likely an extension of your love for Regulus manifesting in James, who cared for you so deeply that your concerns became his. But that's just it— you're the one who he really cared for. Above all else, it's you he wanted to protect.
“He did not choose to stay behind,” you raised your voice, offended that James could ever think so.
“Love...”
James didn't mean to, but he looked at you with pity in his eyes, as if he thought you were in denial.
Anger flared up in your chest when you registered his expression, “No, don’t do that. Just because Sirius said so doesn’t mean it’s true. Regulus wouldn’t just choose them over us. Sirius– he doesn't have his facts straight.”
James didn’t say anything. What could he? It sounded like you were implying that Sirius was lying and James knew Sirius wouldn't do that.
For the record, you didn't think Sirius would lie either. But he was absolutely capable of missing something.
“You don’t believe me,” your mouth hung open after your words.
“It’s not that.” James rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, “I believe you, but I believe Sirius too. And Sirius said that Regulus refused to come. Whatever the reason, that's the choice he made. I’m not going to let you put yourself in danger for a– a lost cause.”
His words stopped you in your tracks.
“A lost cause?"
You had never been so affronted by James. He might not know Regulus nearly as well as he knows you or Sirius, but the fact that he could easily tag him as a lost cause was unbelievable.
"Don’t be an idiot, James. How could you say that?”
James had kept walking for a couple more paces, so he had to turn to face you. He tried to cover the way the venom in your voice made him flinch.
“You can’t force him to leave,” he said, sounding as understanding as he could muster, but he needed to get through to you.
Phantom alarm bells were ringing in his ears, his desperation for you to hear him growing. You were stubborn and you'd do anything for your brothers, James knows this all to well. But not this. He couldn't let you do this. He wouldn't let you go back there.
“Merlin, you’re siding with Sirius!” you accused, giving in to the anger burning in your chest.
James tried to remain calm as he spoke.
“I’m not siding with anyone.”
“Yes, you are! How could I be so stupid? Of course you’d choose Sirius over me!"
James features twist in anguish, "Love–"
"This is what I get for falling for my brother’s best friend. When there's a choice, it will always be him, won’t it?” You spat, glaring at James in a way that almost knocked him off his feet.
He was completely taken aback; you two had never fought like this. He tried to take some semblance of control over the situation, “Okay, you’re angry right now, and that’s okay–“
“Oh, would you stop that!” you shouted. A small part of you hoped the sound wouldn’t travel back to the house, but a bigger part of you was consumed with a growing rage. That part didn’t seem to care.
“Stop what?” James knitted his brows.
“Being some master of emotions all of a sudden! I’m accusing you of picking Sirius over me! I’m raising my voice at you! I’m calling you names! Why won’t you fight back? Yell at me, do something!”
James took a deep breath, “I’m not going to do that.”
He sounded completely calm and collected. Somehow, that pissed you off.
“Oh, you’re so perfect, aren’t you?”
“What?” James felt like he was going crazy, unable to decipher what he could possibly be doing wrong.
“Perfect James Potter, wouldn’t hurt a fly these days! You could never–! never lose your cool, could you?” you shouted.
James gaped at you. He couldn't be mad even if we wanted to; he was just confused. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? You yourself didn’t even seem to know what you were saying, your words tumbling out awkwardly as you said things even you knew weren’t true.
It’s not like James never lost the reign on his emotions. He throws his quidditch gear around when he loses a match, he can’t control his frustration when he doesn’t do well in class, he isolates himself when he’s sad instead facing it, he does a whole lot of things that he’s not proud of.
And you’ve seen it all before, but for some reason, you’ve chosen not to remember those moments. All you can think about is how you were so angry and scared, and he was so understanding and level-headed. And how you grew up with screaming matches and unfair punishments, and he probably got to grow up with calm discussions and soft spoken apologies. And it all felt so unfair.
“Are you–? Sorry, you're mad at me because I'm not getting mad at you? I’m sorry, I guess?”
“I don’t want you to be sorry I want you to yell at me! Be mad at me, fight with me!” You felt the familiar sensation of tears welling up in your eyes.
James looked shellshocked. Truthfully, he didn’t know how to deal with you like this, he’s never seen this before. Sure, sometimes you bicker— all couples do— but this was reaching an uncharted territory.
"I'm not going to yell at you for wanting to keep your brother safe–"
"Then yell at me because you think I'm naive for thinking I can get him out of there. Fight with me because I think you're an idiot for thinking Regulus is a lost cause!"
You were trying to rile him up, James knew this, and he so badly wanted to not let if affect him. Not because it was making him angry, no, it was making him sad.
But he couldn't fight it.
And James always does the same thing when he's sad.
“I think we need to take a step back from this conversation. Why don’t we go inside?” James offered.
He sounded like he stole that line from some therapist's book on navigating conflict. It made you want to scream.
“You go inside! I’m going to keep walking.” You pushed past him, deliberately letting your shoulder collide with his as you stormed away.
James let the blow knock him back a step, too thrown off to do anything else. He listened to your receding footsteps and he wanted to be the type of boyfriend who runs after you when you’re upset. Who holds you and listens to you until you can work out the problem. Instead—
“Just stay by the house, okay?” he called over his shoulder.
“Yeah, whatever.”
A few hot angry tears slid down your face. You aggressively wiped them away and willed any more tears to dry up. You were tired of crying.
You stomped around the gardens and grass, thinking of Regulus and how he deserved better than siblings who left him behind to find refuge with a boy who wouldn't think twice about rescuing him too.
Leaving that house was something you'd always dreamed of. But you had imagined both of your brothers by your side. No one was ever supposed to be abandoned.
Sirius just didn’t understand how horrible being alone in that house was. You and Regulus had already experienced a taste of it when he went off to Hogwarts a year before you two. Not to mention, Sirius was always the strongest of you, so without him, navigating that house was a whole new terrain.
Maybe that’s what Sirius senses is different about your relationship with Regulus. Those nine months were probably the worst of your life, and Reg is who you went through them with.
And maybe that's why you were so adamant that Regulus can’t be left there alone while everyone else seems ready to abandon all hope. Your parents had never been more furious than when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago. You suspected that they would be worse, angrier than ever after the departure Sirius orchestrated for you and him. You couldn’t let Regulus face that alone.
Somewhere along the line, worry for Regulus took precedence over the anger that held your gentle love for James hostage. By the time you came to a large trees on the outskirts of the lawn, the anger from the previous argument had simmered.
As you plopped down in the dirt and sat against its trunk, you tried not to be annoyed that taking a step away from that conversation really worked.
You took in your surroundings to distract yourself. It was to no avail, as a nearby shed caught your eye. Through its open window, you could see James’ broom and other quidditch gear.
“You idiot,” you chastised yourself aloud. You let your head fall into your hands as a million nasty thoughts about yourself raced through your mind, the most prominent being you’re just like your mother.
It was just like her to pick fights. You couldn’t breathe in that house without her telling you that you were doing it wrong. She always found something to yell at you for.
How could I act like that, you winced as you recalled the fight you just walked away from.
Poor James, who you yelled at for not being mad at you. It really was just like her to get upset over something so irrational. You felt ill over the similarity, and you were overwhelmed with a sense of impending doom.
You couldn't let yourself be doomed to your parents' fate. You wanted to be kind, reasonable, rational. So, what wouldn't they do in this situation?
A safe assumption would be that they wouldn't feel bad, so you're already on the right track it seems.
They also wouldn't apologize.
Okay, yeah. Apologize. You could apologize.
You have to apologize.
Just go apologize.
But you just couldn’t get yourself to move. You were frozen in shame for your behavior, the only movement was the rise and fall of your chest from your labored breath.
James Potter did not like feeling sad. It was unsettling, uncomfortable, so utterly unlike him.
Whenever it happened, he tried to hide from it. He'd lock himself away somewhere before he'd dare face it head on— or admit that it's there at all.
The last time he was sad, he let himself fall asleep in the common room just so he wouldn't have to face his friends back at his dorm. And when his childhood pet died, he didn't mention it for months, only alerting his friends to his cat's passing when Peter asked how old his cat was again.
It's not that James thought there was anything wrong with being sad. He definitely didn't believe in any of that nonsense that real men don't cry. In fact, he was always the first to offer his shoulder if any of his friends were upset, back pats and let-it-all-outs at the ready.
But when it was him, when he was the one with the lump in his throat and a pit in his stomach, he couldn't handle sadness anymore. It made him feel vulnerable, and he wanted to be the strong one, the brave one. The one who lights up a room with the force of the sun and brings humor and fun into everyone's days.
So, when he couldn't be that, he'd rather be alone. He'd rather sit isolated in a dimly lit room where the darkness can't touch anyone but himself.
His bed creaked under his weight as he shifted in place, the only movement he has made in several minutes.
He was trying to be still and let his mind focus on nothing but his breathing. He was especially trying not to think of your argument.
He counted out his inhales and exhales, just as he had learned years ago in divination class.
James took divination for one year only. It wasn't for him, but one thing from that class did stick with him— the lesson on mindfulness. Something about mediation and a clear head opening your mind to frequencies you may not normally be able to comprehend.
James wasn't sure about all that, but he quite liked the calmness of the exercise they did in class that day, even if he felt a bit silly doing it.
He finds himself repeating the meditation from that class when he's down. He much prefers a clear head to one with racing thoughts that give him that choked up feeling in his throat.
He was broken out of his feeble attempt at a meditative state when there was a knock at his door.
Hope swelled in his stomach. Maybe you've come to talk. Maybe he could smooth things over with you. And then he could stop feeling like this.
He tried not to look disappointed when Sirius walked through the door.
Sirius gave James a once over as the door clicked shut behind him, "What's wrong with you?"
"Me?" James forced a chuckle, "Nothing's wrong with me."
"You're sitting at the foot of your bed, starin' at the floor, shoulders slumped," Sirius' hand swept towards James' hunched form, "I know what upset looks like, Prongs."
"I'm not upset," James insisted still, "I'm just thinking. Is being lost in thought a crime these days?"
Sirius shrugged, plopping down on the bed next to James. His legs hung over the edge as he let his back hit the sheets, his arms sprawled at his sides.
James listened as Sirius puffed out a long, exhausted breath.
"You alright?" James asked, not bothering to look back, letting his sad eyes remain fixed on the floor.
"Ah, I see. Worried about me, are you?" Sirius guessed.
James seized the opportunity to excuse his demeanor. Besides, he wanted to talk about what Sirius had said earlier anyway.
"You did have a pretty nasty spat with your sister. And then you nearly collapsed."
There's a lull in the conversation for a moment as Sirius thinks.
"Your parents fixed me right up again. Gave me some nasty potion to help with the dizziness. Tasted like sewage but 'm good as new. They're off now, by the way, picking up some herbs they want to steep and feed me for these spasms I keep having in my hands."
James winced. Spasms, a potential side effect of being under the Cruciatus Curse.
"Sirius... about what you said happened. Your mother–"
"I don't want to talk about that," Sirius spoke quietly, somberly.
After a moment, Sirius added, "I don't want to think about any of them ever again."
James felt a pang in his heart, knowing Regulus was included in 'them'. You wouldn't have stood for it if you'd heard Sirius say that.
James' mind wanders back to your earlier argument, his earlier attempts to avoid these thoughts futile now. You were so adamant that you needed to go back for Regulus, ready to dive into some sort of escape plan, and that still scared the hell out of James.
He considered telling Sirius about what you wanted to do. One on hand, he knew Sirius would be on board with keeping you the hell away from there— keeping you safe. On the other hand, it felt like tattling on you to your brother.
James thought about the betrayal written across your face earlier. How hurt you were when you suspected James was choosing to believe Sirius over you. Confiding in Sirius now would surely, surely make it worse. And James didn't want to hurt you.
And yet—
"Thing is... I have to talk to you about something. About your sister... and about Regulus."
A flinch finally broke you out of your statue-like state when a sudden and distinct fluttering sounded above you. You expected to see any mundane bird when you looked up, but there was nothing there. You leaned around the tree to try to locate the source.
Instead of any random creature of flight, it was a familiar owl. And he was not in the tree, rather next to it, in a designated perch located on the other side of the thick trunk.
"Oh. Hello," you greeted the owl. He stared at you blankly, of course.
You've met this owl before. His name was Glory. You didn't know why, but James had named him, and you supposed that it was a name that James would have thought of.
You've received countless letters from James, all delivered by Glory. There were the long ones, which you mostly received during the times you were apart. Glory was good at discretely delivering them to your window. And if James also had mail for Sirius, he knew to deliver yours first.
James was always checking up on you over the holidays, making sure you were okay and telling you stories of his own time at home that would take your mind off of whatever horrible things were going on at Grimmauld Place.
When you were together, back at Hogwarts, James still sent you little notes whenever you weren't near. He knew how much you loved receiving notes from him, so he made it a habit. He would send notes about things he saw that reminded him of you, expressions of how much he missed you even if he'd seen you mere hours prior, declarations of love that he couldn't keep inside until the next time he'd be alone with you.
Oh, your sweet boy.
"I really messed up, didn't I?" You asked Glory. You chided yourself for continuing to try to talk to an owl. Not that owls weren’t smart. In fact, they were very intelligent, especially the magical sort. Glory could understand you, but it’s not like he had the ability to respond.
You imagined that Glory would tell you that you messed up big time if he did, though.
You pushed yourself up to your feet, wiping dirt and twigs off your pants when you rose. As you walked back towards the house, you wondered if your mother ever felt sorry like this, if she ever wanted to apologize sometimes. Surely, at some point she did. James' words come back to you about how we're all human, and you want to believe that maybe there was a memory lost in your mind of her apologizing to you.
You'd have been a wide-eyed little kid at the time, snot-nosed and teary-eyed after she yelled at you for spilling milk or leaving a toy in the middle of the floor. She'd wrap her arms around you and apologize for raising her voice. Then she'd shush and coo soothingly until your tears dried up and you could show her all of your baby teeth in a wide grin.
It was unnatural, the image of her in your mind like that, but your heart burned for it to be real. As sick as it was, you still yearned for your mother's love, even if it was a thing of the past.
Maybe your house really was a poison. Because if she had ever been gentle, one way or another, Walburga Black got colder and harsher over the years. She spiraled so deep into darkness that she seemed to want to be cruel. After all, to cast the Cruciatus Curse, you do have to really want it.
Each step you took was invigorated with a new sense of determination. Apologizing to James now, owning up to your mistake, it was only the first step of doing everything in your power to never be anything like that woman.
It felt like no time passed at all by the time you arrived outside of James' door. You didn't feel ready to face him, but you raised your fist anyway. Just when knuckles were about to meet wood, you heard a muffled voice from inside.
"What do you think?" James' voice asked softly. Then, after a beat of silence, "Did you hear me?"
"Yeah, James, I heard you," Sirius said. He had that far away kind of tone in his voice he gets when he's trying to distance himself from his emotions.
"And?"
"And I'm bloody tired of talking about him!" Sirius barked. Even from the safety of the other side of the door, you flinched.
"She doesn't get it. She'll never get it because it's him," your brother continued. "If she had known he wasn't coming she probably wouldn't be here either. If it's a choice, it'll be him over me in a heartbeat. He could've done the bloody spell on me himself and she'd still choose him. Merlin, she could've done the bloody spell if he asked her to."
If felt like the wind was knocked out of you. You bit your tongue until you drew blood, fighting the urge to cry out, as if Sirius' words physically wounded you.
Rationally, you knew that Sirius was just angry, that he didn't mean it. But the rational side of your brain hasn't been winning many battles today.
You vaguely heard James tell Sirius not to say things like that as you backed away from his door until you met the wall behind you with a thump.
There was silence from inside James' room for mere seconds before the door was ripped open. Sirius stood in the doorway, James behind him. You couldn't read your brother's expression, there barely was one. How typical of him to hide behind a blank stare.
You, however, were wide eyed with a hand clamped over your mouth, leaning against the wall behind you, sure you'd collapse without its support.
Sirius began to say your name and suddenly your hand was gone and the words were tumbling from your lips.
"How could you say that?" Your voice was strained, "I wouldn't ever do that– He wouldn't ever do that!"
Sirius' eyes bore into yours but he didn't say anything. You wished you could tell what he was thinking under that stupid mask of his.
"I shouldn't have to tell you over and over again that I love you both. You are both my brothers, you both mean the world to me. It's so irrational and– and foolish to worry about a choice that I'd never–"
You cut yourself off. The irony of being so hurt by Sirius' words were not lost on you. You had only just been accusing James of choosing Sirius over yourself.
"No, that's not true," Sirius bit back, "because that choice is upon you now. So, go ahead. Let's see if you can surprise me."
"What?"
"Choose me, stay here where it's safe. Choose Regulus, go right ahead and try to be his jailbreak. But when you can't convince him to leave, when he refuses, I won't be surprised when you choose to stay there too."
Your eyes flashed to James, who looks way too shameful for you to not put two and two together. You were conflicted; feelings of regret over accusing James of choosing Sirius over you were mixing with feelings of betrayal that James had ran right to Sirius with your words.
You'd let the guilt and betrayal sink in and shred you to pieces later. You had Sirius to deal with first.
"What is wrong with you?" you hissed. "How could you be so dim? Wanting our brother to be safe does not mean I'm choosing him over you."
"Color me unsurprised!" Sirius yelled, looking smug.
Your eyes began to burn, "Fuck you, Sirius!"
James tries to interrupt, "Er, hey, maybe we should–"
"Don't you dare tell me we need to take a step back from this conversation, James!"
James' mouth clamped shut.
"Don't yell at him!" Sirius squawks.
"You want to talk about choosing one person over another? Let's talk about it. Don't pretend you haven't given up on Regulus ever since you met his shiny new replacement!"
You'd feel real shitty about saying that in front of James later; the look on his face at your words was already burned into your memory.
"Don't turn this on me!" Sirius shouted.
"You're such a hypocrite. And an imbecile for thinking I care about you any less than Regulus. Of course I care about you both the same. And you may not believe it, but Regulus cares about you too!"
"That's–"
"I don't want to hear it," you interrupted, "I'm done. Say it James."
James looked like a deer in headlights, "What?"
"Say the thing!" you shouted.
"We need to take a step back from this conversation?"
Your arms flew up, gesturing towards James as you stared Sirius down with an exasperated look on your face. Your brother scoffed and stormed down the hall, disappearing to anywhere else in the Potters' home.
For a moment it was just you and James in the hall. Your eyes met and he looked anguished and far too apologetic. You knew that you were supposed to be the apologetic one, and you felt your heart begging you to let the sorrys loose.
It was too bad that the betrayal started settling in before the guilt.
"Sirius was right before. You are a snitch."
With that, you slipped back into your room and let the door slam shut behind you.
James remained in the hall for a moment longer, not knowing who to follow. He should follow one of you.
Instead, he decided to retreat back to his bedroom.
✠ Serpent & Sin [Tom Marvolo Riddle.] - Completed.
❂ Ash & Skylight [Charlie Weasley; Oliver Wood.] - In Progress.
⍟ Joke’s On You [Fred Weasley.] - In Progress.
♖ One-Shots ♖
❅ A Proper New Year’s Resolution [Sirius Black x Slytherin Reader.]
❅ “Beware the Mind and Ensare the Senses” [Severus Snape x Potions Master Reader.]
❅ Joke’s On You [Fred Weasley x Reader.]
*Note: The longer, multi-part series version of “Joke’s On You” is listed above.
♞ Ascribed Headcanons ♞
♢ Marauders and Sleep Edition
♢ Marauders and Physical Touches of Affection Edition
♢ Marauders and Halloween
Pt. 1 - James Potter
Pt. 2 - Sirius Black
Pt. 3 - Peter Pettigrew
Pt. 4 - Remus Lupin
♢ Marauders (+ Snape) and Secret Relationships
♢ Marauders (- Peter + Snape) and “Almost” Moments on Christmas Day
♢ How They Finger You
Pt. 1 - Marauders (- Peter)
Pt. 2 - Slytherin Leading Men (Snape, Riddle, L. Malfoy, & C. Lestrange)
Pt. 3 - Young, First Loves (R. Black, Pettigrew, & T. Lupin)
♢ Threesomes
Pt. 1 - James Potter & Sirius Black
♢ Things You Can’t Help But Do When Your Lover Makes Love To You
Pt. 1 - Remus Lupin
Pt. 2 - Sirius Black
Pt. 3 - James Potter
Pt. 4 - Rowan Scamander
Pt. 5 - Cyrille Lestrange
Pt. 6 - Severus Snape
♢ From Young Lovers to Proper Daddies
Pt. 1 - Sirius Black
Pt. 2 - James Potter
♢ Back to School
Pt. 1 - R. Lupin & J. Potter
Pt. 2 - P. Pettigrew
series summary being a professor at hogwarts always brought you an interesting day, but your past starts to reappear in odd ways: in the son of one of your former best friends, a dog you can't stop seeing, and an old crush getting the cursed job the school. it all looks to mean one thing--it's time to stop running from the things you tried hard not to think about.
warning none
a/n if you all are interested in seeing this continue as a series please please let me know!! im loving this concept :)
gif cred belongs to @rxmuz
harry, hermione, and ron were gathered in the empty classroom you were to begin a lesson in after your snack break--a habit they had grown into shortly after meeting you their first year. your feet were propped up on your desk as you ate your salad, watching harry pace and complain about his third-year classes already, despite only being a few days into the term.
"i think they're all riveting so far," hermione spoke bossily, shaking her head at the complaining boys.
"how would you know? you weren't even in potions today!" ron accused. you winked at hermione as her face flushed slightly. you knew her little time turner secret--it was a fate few students endured, but you had been one of the professors to recommend her for the honor when dumbledore inquired.
"i was there! we learned about the benefits of frog liver in healing potions!"
ron and harry looked to each other. "I actually don't know if that's true or not."
you let out a laugh before speaking, "it's just the second week, harry. it'll get better! patience is key."
harry huffed as he flopped into one of the chairs in the front row. "why can't i just take your class already?"
you shrugged. "i'll let you in." his head piped up. "if you can read my leaves from my old cup of tea for me." he sunk back down into the chair as you tutted, "have to know divination to take theory, harry. sad, but true."
he sulked for another moment before admitting, "i do like the new defense against the dark arts professor. lupin seems good."
the other two agreed and began to chat about it as you froze mid-chew.
when you heard remus lupin was taking the dark arts position, a rush of old, buried emotions came flooding back to you. your stupid schoolgirl crush seemed to take up space in your heart once again before you had even seen him again, and you cursed yourself for letting it happen. but remus was one of your best friends in your hogwarts days, and you had always wondered what could have been if you had ever had the guts to pursue something with him..
" .. professor? y/n!"
you snapped back into the moment, swallowing your bite as you gave your attention back to the trio. "sorry. got lost in thought. what's up?"
"did you know lupin when you went to hogwarts?"
your heart jumped unwillingly. "oh--yeah, of course. i don't want to air out his business for him if he hasn't said.. but he was very close to your parents, as well, harry." harry blinked in surprise. "but again, not my place to say without knowing if he wants all that to be said." the trio nodded.
"has he always had those scars?" ron asked, waving to his face.
you smiled a little. "yes. not those, specifically, but he always had a knack for getting new wounds back in our hogwarts days. never without a scratch."
"sounds like-"
"professor l/n?" all four of you looked to the open door of the classroom to see professor lupin himself standing with one hand on the frame, as if he had been summoned when you began to talk about him. your heart skipped while he swept his gaze to the students, lifting a hand in greeting, "hello harry, miss granger, mister weasley." they greeted him in return before he looked back to you as you swung your feet to the ground a little clumsily. you prayed your face wasn't as hot as it felt. "have you all seen a toad hopping about? had a student say he lost sight of him after charms this morning."
"oh, neville?" you laughed softly and the other three chuckled. lupin nodded. "no, we haven't seen trevor. we'll be sure to inform the owner if he's spotted, however."
lupin gave you a nod. "thanks." he paused for a moment in the doorway, looking like he was going to say something more, before patting the doorframe and moving away. after a moment you cleared your throat, swinging your feet back onto your desk and shuffling your fork through your salad.
"so, what were we saying before all that? something about divination?"
"you totally fancy professor lupin!" hermione scoffed. it was the first time you had seen her gaze properly off of her homework all afternoon. and she looked delighted about it, too.
now you knew your face was bright red. "you're loony, hermione. i'm thirty-five years old--i don't 'fancy' people."
"oh, what do you call it then?" harry grinned. "a crush? taking a liking too? or do we skip straight to pining at your age?" he dodged when your shoe came flying at him, but he was laughing the whole way. ron was chortling just as loudly.
"you three have lost it!" you declared, standing unevenly from your desk. "remus and i were good friends back in the day--nothing more, nothing less."
"remus, is it?" harry gawked, making the other two laugh and tease again while you stripped off your other shoe. the warning bell rang just then.
"you've been saved, you have!" you called as they scrambled to get their things together. "teasing a professor like a student--rotten children!"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
not another one... oh yes it is... and please, respectfully, strap yourselves in cos it's gonna be a ROUGH RIDE. and not in the way you're thinking, sorry, but get your minds out the gutters. gosh.
in other news, i hope you're all doing okay. part 17 won't be for a while as i'm back to work tomorrow and i'm going to be tired because i stupidly ruined my sleeping schedule the past few days. massive L.
i hope you've all had a brilliant day, and thank you so much for all the love and kind, sweet comments you left on part 15, it really made my day when i read through them this morning :') i'll reply to them all when i have some extra time this week!! <3 remember to take care of yourselves, please. and enjoy this. <3
warnings: swearing, slight altercation?, angst
A pair of cold hands grasped your scarlet cheeks, forcing you to look up and into their eyes in a desperate manner. "Bloody hell, Y/N," Remus whispered, his face twisting into an anxious mix of worry and concern. Gradually, you let your tearful eyes slink up meet his own, and another sob fell from your quivering lips. "I should have stayed, I'm so sorry." He sighed. You watched as his brows slipped together; hazel eyes flicking between yours as he brushed his thumbs gently against the apples of your cheeks.
"It's not your fault, Remus, please-" You shook your head viciously and squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall forwards.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Remus asked, his voice soft as a feather, cautious not to startle you.
"Yes- no, I... my shoulder, it hurts," You whined and winced as you lifted your head up to lean back against the cabinets of your kitchenette behind you. Another intense, piercing pain shot through your shoulder. "Fuck!" You hissed. Remus cast a furious glance in the direction of Ben's unconscious body.
"We're going to have to take you to Madam Pomfrey, Y/N," the professor sighed quietly, "I'm afraid Dumbledore will need to hear of this... matter." Instantly, your eyes darted to Remus and you sucked in a breath.
"No, I'm fine, honestly- please," you shook your head, "there's no point, I won't be here after he wakes up anyway." A defeated sigh left your lips as you let your eyes slide to where Ben laid, the burning words that he'd spat at you like vicious venom replayed in your head on repeat.
"What do you mean?" Remus frowned at you.
"He found out about Severus." A dry, pathetic laugh slipped from you. "He figured it out."
"What-" Though, before Remus could even finish his question, you interrupted him.
"He went through my drawers in my greenhouse."
"I'm not following." The professor offered you an apologetic, yet perplexed look.
You inhaled a deep, slow breath through your nose. "Severus had been leaving me notes everytime he'd taken something from my cabinets, be it asphodel roots or dittany.. so, in my pathetic way, I... kept them." You muttered, reluctantly glancing up at Remus, watching his eyes soften. You looked away, unable to stomach how he looked at you with pity. "In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have, but I was blinded by my feelings for him, and so... then when I had first started seeing Ben, he had also left me notes. But, of course, I didn't really care for him the same way I did Severus, so I shoved them at the bottom of my drawers, beneath..." You trailed off, unable to finish your thoughts. You felt so silly, pathetic.
"I see." Remus said softly, noting how you were struggling. His gentle voice silently soothed your racing mind.
You took a few seconds to speak your next words, still unable to understand the gravity of the situation you'd put yourself in. In fact, it felt like you didn't even want to acknowledge it. "Ben threatened to have me fired, and then blacklisted for every job in this area. So, Remus, I'm screwed, to say the least."
The professor paused for a moment, pondering on his thoughts. You were praying he'd speak soon before you went insane from the way your mind was beginning to chaotically brew up storms of worst case scenarios.
"Not quite," Remus's lips quirked up into a small, comforting smile. You could only frown at him in utter confusion. "It's not the most... erm, ...humane way of solving such a problem, however it is the only way." Your eyes widened at his choice of words.
"Remus, you're scaring me, what on Earth are you suggesting?" You whispered, eyebrows furrowing together in what could only be described as fear.
"We're going to need the help of another wizard, I'm afraid." He replied and stood up, groaning a tad. "Ever heard of the spell, Obliviate?"
The damp stench of the dungeons of Hogwarts was wildly familiar and a little emotionally testing for you as you stumbled down the corridors with Remus; his hand placed caringly upon your back. The amber glow of the lit torches illuminated the darkened path, and the quiet squelch of the wet, mossy floor echoed throughout the empty corridors as the two of you padded towards Snape's classroom.
"I'm sorry to have to put you through this." Remus mumbled from beside you, and you felt his fingers press into the back of you. "But Severus is the only wizard I know that's meddled with minds here at Hogwarts."
"It's alright." You swallowed awkwardly as the anxious and speedy beats of your heart began to pound in your ears once more. "He never liked Ben, so I'm sure he'll take great pride in performing such a spell on him." You joked dryly, earning a curt laugh from the professor beside you. A little smile formed on your lips at the sound of it.
"Even in dark times, your brilliant humour shines through." Remus hummed, offering a warm smile as he glanced down at you.
There was a moment of silence as you let yourself wander through the labyrinth of your mind.
"Do you think it will work?"
"Absolutely," Remus answered quickly, "though Severus and I have never truly seen eye to eye, I still acknowledge the fact that he's an incredibly accomplished wizard." He said, shrugging. "I haven't met many other wizards in my time that have come close to his abilities."
You let his words simmer in your brain for a moment, and suddenly you felt a little more at ease. Not that you doubted Severus, but from what Lupin had explained about the Obliviate spell, you were slightly worried. Would Ben remember something and come back with a vengeance? No, there was no way... right? He's not that... petty.
Before you could even finish your train of thought, three loud knocks from Remus's knuckles broke you from your daydream.
Almost immediately you wanted to run away from the door in front of you. But from the way Remus's hand was glued to your back stopped you from doing so.
The door to Severus's classroom creaked open, and all of the blood from your body felt as if it had drained away the moment the two of you locked eyes.
"Severus," Remus greeted quietly.
"Y/N." Severus muttered, his tone confused as his eyes snapped to Lupin beside you, and then down to his arm around your back. A short, sharp exhale of breath left his nostrils, and you knew that he wasn't too pleased about what he was seeing. "Lupin..." He drawled as he flicked his eyes back to yours, then to Remus's own. "What brings you here?" His voice was agitated, nothing new. You let your eyes fall away from the Potions Master, unable to look at him without having some sort of whirlwind of emotions stir up inside of you.
"May we come in? It's a matter of urgency." The professor beside you spoke with a serious tone that forced a curious frown to appear on Severus's pale face. Without saying anything, Severus moved aside in one swift motion and allowed his door to creak further open, silently inviting you and Remus inside.
Had it been just Lupin here, you knew he wouldn't have been so trusting.
Glancing up, you caught Severus's eye again, and that wave of gut-wrenching yearning had returned to your heart. As you looked away, you didn't see the way his eyes softened at you, wordlessly wishing he could return to the way the two of you had been.
Lupin guided you inside with his arm, earning another harsh glare from Snape as he passed by him. "Take a seat, Y/N." The shaggy professor mumbled, pulling out a stool for you to perch on. You obliged, of course.
"What do you so desperately need from me?" Snape drawled, sweeping his way towards you and Lupin; his biting glare quite obviously screaming at you to hurry up and talk. Wasn't it so kind of him to treat you like you were some sort of irritating insect, and not someone he cared about, albeit a little?
You clenched your jaw, swallowing as you opened your mouth to speak, but Lupin beat you to it. "Bluewater threatened to have her fired and blacklisted from every job in the area." Severus's black brows immediately shot together in confusion, then quickly softened, quite obviously realising why he'd demand such a thing. "If she is to keep her job and reputation, we need you to perform the memory erasing spell on him."
Of course, Severus would do anything for you, at this point, he'd kill for you. So killing the memories of a man he truly loathed was an easy ask.
"Done." The Potions Master cast a concerned glance at you, before looking back to Lupin. "Truth be told, it'd be my pleasure." Again, Severus looked back at you with his worrisome black eyes, staring, swiftly scattering themselves over your form; quietly trying to figure out whether you were hurt or not.
You noticed his quiet inspection. "I'm fine." You mumbled, sighing softly as you avoided his eyes once more, shuffling in your seat - but as you moved, your face twitched into a wince as your injured shoulder betrayed you.
"Yes, clearly you are." Severus muttered sarcastically as he padded towards you, reluctantly lifting a hand toward your arm. Your eyes snapped up to his, and you blinked at him, your jaw ticking with either anxiety or anger - you couldn't figure out which. "May I?" He whispered.
You gave a nod and turned your torso towards him, allowing him to inspect your injury. The second his fingers touched your skin, it ignited like a wildfire. You inhaled sharply, your body freezing at the way he trailed them down to your shoulder.
"I'll be outside." Remus muttered, noticing that perhaps the two of you need to be alone. He shuffled his way towards the door, and slipped out of it, the quiet thud and click of the handle signifying he'd left.
"Did he do this to you?" Severus muttered through gritted teeth, brushing his thumb over the colourful blotch that was beginning to appear upon the skin he used to worship. He hissed at the sight of your bruised skin, it was like someone had ruined a beautiful painting and thrown some sort of hideous concoction onto it.
He should have known better than to abandon you like that. Bluewater had always been a wildcard. He should have stayed by your side, he shouldn't have let his emotions get the better of him like he always did. Maybe then you wouldn't have this... abomination painting your flesh black and blue. Severus would never forgive himself for falling into the foolish trap of his insecurities. He'd never forgive himself for ever listening to the deranged demons that resided within his mind, silently calling him into the darkness; their devilish, silver tongues persuading him to fade into the lonely void.
You and Severus sat in silence for a moment, and your eyes had been glued to the ground ever since the Potions Master laid his hands on you. If you looked into his eyes whilst he was so close to you, you weren't exactly sure if you could stop yourself from doing something utterly stupid.
"Where is he?" Severus suddenly mumbled, a burning hot fire of rage and vengeance was quickly spreading throughout his body.
"My chambers, but-"
"Stay here." Severus immediately began to storm towards the door of his classroom, his long black cape billowing behind him with a vengeance that matched its wearer.
"Severus, don't hurt him!" You cried out, leaning forwards to try and grab his arm. You gasped as your injured shoulder unleashed an unbearable pain across your back, making you squeeze your eyes shut in agony.
"Don't hurt him? Look at what he's done to you!" Severus whipped around, furious. "You can barely move your shoulder without wincing like a wounded deer!" He stormed back towards you, and for the first time in a while, the irate look in his eyes truly frightened you. If looks could kill, you'd be dead on the ground. Though, he was not angry at you, his anger was only focused on one man.
"I don't care! Think about what could happen to you if the Ministry found out you harmed one of their own!" You exclaimed, praying that Severus would see through his blinding anger and choose to not do something foolish to Ben, despite how fierce his wrath was.
Severus paused for a moment as if to contemplate your words - though his consideration of your opinion was cut short as he whipped around once more; that vicious fire exploding inside of him like a deadly inferno. He was truly devoted to the thought of inflicting more harm than necessary to Bluewater.
At this point, you couldn't stop him. There was no way you could follow him with your injury. You watched on helplessly as he sweeped out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him. There was only one other person that could help you.
"Remus!" You yelled, cursing your weakened shoulder as you stood, breathing sharply in a dire attempt to lessen the pain that was slowly burning its way through your torso. "Remus!" You yelled once more, and immediately the door swung open, his familiar face adorned with an utterly worried look.
"What's wrong?" He questioned, quickly rushing over to you.
"It's Severus, he's gone to find Ben, you need to stop him, please," You panted, desperately grabbing onto the the material of his suit jacket that sat on his bicep. "I don't want him to do something he'll regret."
"Merlin," Remus muttered and nodded, turning swiftly to rush after the Potions Master. "Will you be alright?" He stopped to ask, running a stressed hand through his hair.
"Yes, yes, I'll be fine, now, please just go!" You sighed heavily and leaned against a table beside you, hissing as your shoulder was now screaming at you in horrific pain. You were truly starting to worry now, had you fractured it- or broken it? Ben had shoved you quite harshly...
Your eyes darted around Severus's classroom, lingering on the potion ingredients that lined the wall. The only thing you could do was wait.
Or potentially brew a potion to help your agonising pain...
Severus's thunderous footsteps echoed hauntingly throughout the castle corridors as he stormed his way to your chambers; his fingers twitching at his sides, eagerly awaiting the chance to lay his hands upon Bluewater, the way he did to you.
That rotten bastard, Severus thought, he could kill him without a second thought right now. In fact, in the very back of the Potion Master's mind, he was truly considering it. The only thing Severus wanted to hear right now was Bluewater's bloodcurdling screams as he made him suffer through either physical or mental hell. All he had to do was lock the door, cast muffliato, and go to town. That was all too tempting for Snape. It was too easy. And that's what scared him.
As he neared your chambers, a stream of warm light began to pour out from underneath the door, and Severus deduced that Ben had awoken from Remus's spell. He quickly softened his footsteps and snuck towards your door, donning his wand in his hand. There was two ways he could go about this - he could barge in and surprise the bastard, or he could do it quietly. Perhaps the latter would be a little less idiotic.
Severus pushed your door open gradually with his hand, cautiously moving forwards as he pointed his wand into your chambers. A pained groan came from the floor, and the professor cast his eyes downwards and was met with an embarrassing mess shuffling around on it. Just the back of his head sent Severus into an blinding furious spiral, and he stormed towards him, grabbing the back of his top to hoist him upwards onto his feet.
"Get th'fuck offa' me!" Bluewater drawled, still groggy from Remus's spell as he pathetically tried to fight the Potion Master's hand that had a hold of his flimsy shirt. Relentlessly, Snape dragged him through the room, the scratching sound of Bluewater's shoes scraping across the wooden floor and Snape's pounding footsteps filled the silence. He yanked the boy upwards and dropped him on his arse, watching in delight as a pained look flashed across his face.
"Watch your mouth, Bluewater," Snape snarled, poking the tip of his wand into his neck, earning a glare from the boy.
"You." Bluewater spat, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "You sonuva' bitch! You slimy fuckin' bastard, how dare you-"
"How dare I? How dare you lay a finger on her!" Snape bellowed at Bluewater, his teeth bared in a ferociously fearsome scowl.
"I never touched her." Bluewater's lips quirked into a vile smirk, and this only fuelled Snape's burning hatred for the boy. Without a second thought, he kicked the side of Bluewater, sending him tumbling onto his side, screeching in pain.
"Don't lie to me, Bluewater!" Snape growled as he fisted the front of his shirt, pulling him up to his towering height, the tips of his toes barely grazing the floor.
"You miserable git," The boy hissed through gritted teeth as he had one hand glued to his throbbing side. "She'll never work again, Snape. All because of you."
"Don't push me, you foolish boy." Snape huffed, his chest heaving uncontrollably as his anger got the best of him.
"In fact, neither will you." Bluewater added, his tone cocky and ignorant. Snape couldn't control himself any longer, and so he threw the boy to the ground again rather harshly, forcing a cry of pain from him. He felt nothing. Nothing but hot rage.
"Severus!" Remus suddenly called out from behind him, panting. "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand fell to the ground.
Remus felt his blood run cold as Snape turned to look at him with a face like a maddened bull. "Just... calm down, Severus, take a moment," The professor said softly, holding out a hand to try and defuse the situation. As he stared at the furious Potions Master, he was sure he could see red-hot steam pouring out of his ears. "You don't want to do this, Severus. Believe me." Snape's shoulders rose and fell rigidly as he looked on in disbelief at Lupin. "Y/N wouldn't want this."
Your name rolled off of Lupin's tongue like a bullet into Severus's chest.
"You must've drugged her," Bluewater spoke again, his voice making Snape's eye twitch, "there's no way in hell that she'd choose to be with you. She hates you. The amount of shit we used to talk about you, Merlin..." The boy knew he was getting underneath Snape's skin.
"Severus," Remus tried again helplessly. "Don't react."
"Silence!" Snape practically snarled at Bluewater as the seething blaze inside of him ignited once more.
"You don't deserve her, and you never will. You really think she'd fall for some ugly, pathetic and old git like you? Perhaps all that time in the potion classroom made you delusional." Bluewater spat, shuffling forwards on the ground. "You should ask her about what happened earlier, between us, I bet you'd-"
"Stupefy!" Remus yelled, aiming his wand at Bluewater, watching as his body fell limp once more.
Snape stared at Ben's unconscious body, his mind suddenly becoming a warzone after his last words before Remus had knocked him out. What happened earlier between you and Ben? Were his thoughts true? Was Bluewater right? Did you hate him?
"Severus,"
"What?!" Snape hissed, turning to face Lupin with a hideous look upon his face. Lupin offered an apologetic cock of his head, before nodding at Bluewater.
"The memories..." Remus muttered. Snape clenched his jaw at the words.
Memories. Right.
The Potions Master slowly padded over to Bluewater, pointing his wand at his temple. He paused for a moment, contemplating his next move.
"Legilimens." Snape whispered, shutting his eyes as he delved into Bluewater's memories. Snippets of him as a child, happy and screaming with laughter flashed before Snape's eyes, and so he continued deeper, watching the moment he met you in the pub, and when you spent the first night together. The professor hissed at the sight as a pang of hurt and jealousy struck him in his chest. He pushed through, skimming through more and more memories, finally finding the one thing he was looking for. It was you and Ben, sharing a glass of wine in your bedroom earlier on.
He'd stood up and stumbled towards you, clearly drunk. "I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing it with his thumb.
"Yeah." You'd replied. Severus felt his heart drop at this point.
Slowly, Ben crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Severus felt his skin suddenly ignite with jealousy. "Ben.." You warned, sighing.
"Whaat?" Ben had whispered back, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. He began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.
Severus watched on in horror as you shut your eyes. Ben's fingers lingered along the backs of your soft thighs, pulling a breathy sigh from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing into your flesh.
Immediately, Severus pulled out of Ben's mind. He couldn't watch anymore. He was right. Merlin, he was right. For a moment, he inhaled sharply, quickly regaining his composure. "Obliviate." He muttered swiftly, filtering through Ben's memories and erasing every single one that contained you or Severus.
"A job well done." Remus said awkwardly as he watched Severus sheath his wand. He frowned as he stared at the back of the raven-haired wizard, silently pondering why he hadn't moved. He stood there for another good few seconds, staring wordlessly at Ben's unconscious body. Then suddenly, he spun on his heel, storming past Remus and shouldering him rather harshly. He couldn't bear to look at anyone that reminded him of you, and unfortunately for Remus, he fell under that now.
He berated himself for even letting himself get so close to you. How could he have done this to himself? Of course you didn't just want him. He was just some sort of... twisted fantasy to you. And yet, he was still willing to help you get out of this mess. That's the undeniable power of love, he supposed.
Once you were free, he'd let you go.
As Severus walked away, he could hear Remus calling his name, but he turned a blind eye and focused on marching back to his domain, the one place he felt at home, even though it used to be your arms.
You coughed and sputtered as the smoke from the cauldron in front of you began to get a little too thick, lining your lungs with what felt like some sort of tar. Perhaps you added a little too much puffer-fish. It did smell a little... oceany. A defeated groan left your lips as you let your head hit the table - after all these years you still royally fucked up potions. Severus wasn't going to be too happy that you'd burned another one of his precious cauldrons.
Suddenly, the slam of a door caught you offguard and you jumped at the loud noise, whipping around to see a rather distraught-looking Snape. That was not what you were hoping for.
"Severus? Everything okay?..." You swallowed, watching as he slowly stalked towards you, completely ignoring the burning smell of the cauldron in front of you. He didn't answer you. "Did you manage to erase them? The memories?" You tried again.
"Yes." Was all he said, his eyes burning into yours with what felt like sorrow.
"What happened?"
"Why did you lie to me?" He suddenly asked, catching you offguard.
"What?"
"You were going to stay with him." He stated matter of factly, his voice quivering a tad as he tried to hide the indescribable hurt that was undoubtedly going to eat him alive.
"That's not true, Severus." You shook your head, your brows knitting together in a wild mix of confusion and hurt. His jaw clenched at your words.
"Do not lie to me!" Severus bellowed, sweeping away from you. You flinched at the volume of his voice.
"I'm not!" You cried out, attempting to follow him as he made his way to his desk. "Severus!" You cried again, making him whip around to face you, his eyes overflowing with hurt and misdirected anger.
"I do not have time for liars, Y/N."
"Severus, just please, explain what happened!"
"What happened between you and Bluewater earlier?" He inhaled with the same sharpness that pierced his chest as he spoke those nightmarish words.
Gods, how did he know about that? Ben must have said something to get back at him. You cursed the little bastard, but at the same time, this was also your doing. You gave into the selfish pleasure.
"He just kissed my neck, that was it, I promise." You said slowly, praying he'd believe you. Severus stared down at you, unwavering, his eyes glossing over. Your heart broke at the sight.
Perhaps you deserved this.
Severus paused for a moment, letting his black eyes study your petrified face. Clearly, you were terrified of losing him. He could see it in your eyes. That broke him. But it did not break him as much as the hellish thing he saw in Bluewater's mind. "I can't trust you."
This was your karma.
It suddenly felt as if the floor had given way beneath your feet. Your knees went weak, and all trace of feeling in your body went numb like you'd been paralysed. "No, Severus- please, you have to believe me-"
"I'm sorry, Y/N." Severus turned away from you as he felt a wave of unruly sadness and betrayal wash over him - something he hadn't felt in years. You desperately grasped onto his arm, the rough, black material beneath your fingers felt so uncomfortably familiar - and now it was going to be something you could only remember. "Let me go, please." The crack in Severus's voice made you release your grip.
This was it. He was really ending things between you two, for real.
"No," You sobbed. The pain from your shoulder injury felt like a pinprick compared to what you were feeling now. "Sev, please." Your cries broke his heart, and all he wanted to do was cradle you in his arms, and tell you everything was going to be okay - but he couldn't do that. Not now. Not ever.
You watched as his head raised upwards, his back still towards you. "Leave me, now, Y/N." Severus muttered and a trace of venom lingered in his words.
Without another word you left, making a straight beeline for Remus Lupin, wherever he was.
angst is my middle name, guys, i can't get enough of it. HA
Red and Green, Silver and Gold - Remus Lupin x Reader SMAU masterlist
part i - "Who's the Gryffindor Hottie"
part ii - "Remmy's Got a Crush"
part iii - "Collision"
part iv - "Conspiring"
part v - "Planning and Stalking"
part vi - "Incipient"
part vii - “Plan in Action”
part viii - "Y/n x Remus"
part ix - "Eyes Glued to Their Screens"
part x - coming soon...
Updates Every Friday :)
Meh @fuzzycalzonefestivaleclipse - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
