Soul and melancholy

Sad to see the techno-optimism gone the way it went. It has happened with almost every major tech. PCs? Dead. Internet? Dead. AI? Dead. Technology is dead.

One of these days I'm just not gonna get out of bed anymore.

I hate fan fiction

When I felt the most artistic I didn't pursue it because it felt too cringe. It was either never real enough or it was too real. I didn't have the language and the experience to express what I had in my mind. Now I have it, but there's nothing in my mind anymore. Only emptyness, a void, a nothing. How can I give voice or image to such a sublime nothing? Wouldn't it be a sin to try to bring to the world a distortion of a pure form? It seems as if I was going agaisnt Being itself.

Underrated is not a word I use easily when describing a band. But Paradise Lost is absolutely an underrated band.

Death is the great equalizer. In the end we all go to where we come from: nothing.

You are not free by affirming yourself in any way. You are free only by doing acts of self-negation.

There is no real you hiding beneath the layers of the mask you call your personality. Your identity is nothing. You are a carrier of nothing, a present absence.

Sorry, but Leviticus was just mediocre. No wonder no one saw it.

How the fuck did I forget everything I learned about programming in about a year???

I hate all of you

You seem as tender as those warm little beasts I'm so fond of

The people in the Circus are not still human because the can feel. They are still human because they can still "die". They still carry the nothing inside of them. Caine can't. He doesn't have that nothing inside. He is not unnatural. Everyone else is. Caine, by design cannot choose death, cannot risk his life... Except when he does. When he ventures into the void. He doesn't have nothing but he is in nothing. He gets close to death and contemplates that going back to the humans in the Circus means he may risk death. He chooses it still. He doesn't make a decision which he cannot be confronted with but gets close to it. Caine becomes more by becoming less, ie. removing the twin AI/Bubble from him. This way he gets closer to become unnatural, just as humans are. This is what allows him self-reflection. He may not have, but he approximates logos.

I just want to life a peaceful life devoted to music.

Fuck your urbanite middle class liberal lifestyle. You are just a fascist.