SELFISH

is it a crime that i believe in you?

deeply in the emotions come within loving you too.

is it a crime to believe that you and i are destined for a greater love ?

is it a crime to want love and affection

not just and erection?

is it a crime to believe that’s there’s trust in all the above ?

is it a crime to not believe in every word what you say?

is it a crime to feel insecure ?

is it a crime to question whether you want her?

you run through my mind night and day

all i’m asking for is to reassure

me.

is it a crime to want your body so deeply all

over mine?

is it a crime for me to want you all over me all the time?

i just wanna know that i run through your mind

too.

is it a crime to believe in us and all that we been through?

is it a crime to want the best for you?

to want nothing and no one else but you?

is it a crime for me to see you and i through history?

i just wish you’d see through the jealousy

i just wish that you could see me.

please , i beg of you, don’t make me feel like loving you is a felony

i want us to grow to be a happy family not a never ending tragedy

is it a crime that when it comes to you i get prideful ?

sometime i wish i was worth more to you, and that you saw what i deserve

nothing more than that of a title

is it a crime to be protective of you

to forget everything i’ve heard

and be there for now and forever?

is it shameful to want love and to want all the comes with it ?

is it wrong to want the truth and all that follows ?

is it shameful to want you all to myself ?

is it a crime to wish that you treated me with my heart?

even with all that’s been said, the cards that’s been dealt.

is it a crime to wish that it was me and not her ?

is it a crime that all i wanted was for your eyes to never wander

is it wrong to say that i’m selfish

MAY 15

may 15th i found out that my life changed forever

you came out of no where

you hit me right out of the blue

inside i felt a something i never even knew

inside was a baby that was half of me and half of him.

day by day that you grew inside me

i knew in my heart that i could do this

that i could hold you close and that i could protect you and i would know a world with you in it.

i talked to you hours upon hours and i realized how much your life really mattered

i grew close to you, i felt a love that i never even knew.

the thought that i’d be your mom, and the man of my dreams was gonna be your dad

it made me excited of what kind of life we would strive soo hard to give you

we wanted the best for you

and in that moment we knew

that maybe from our point of view bringing you into this world wasn’t the right thing to do.

as the day came closer and our lives together as your mom and dad changed forever

we’d soon have to live with a choice that would be with us and that we’d have to be there for eachother.

it’s now june twenty first

i saw the look on your daddy’s face and i knew he felt in my heart what i felt in mine. part of me hoped that he’d change his mind with me and realize that we could do this together,

no matter the weather

time goes by and i can hear our hearts pounding from a mile away.

my heart dropped to my stomach as i lay on the hospital bed

waiting for the doctor to speak

looking into your daddy’s eyes

the thoughts that ran through my mind , i began to fall weak.

finally the doctor says that your tiny little heart could beat

and right then and there i felt defeat

even if me and your daddy did decide to keep you in this earth with us,

my little baby bean little did i know you were never ours to keep

there’s not a single day , that i don’t wish i could just reach up to the stars and put you right back in my belly.

to keep you safe to have you close

to show you that i can do right by you

to show you how much you meant to me

i will always love you , little bean

you will always be in my heart and in my dreams

sincerely