I'm in love with my best friend. At least she was my best friend. We don't talk anymore. We haven't talked in a while. I think she knows. She's very smart. Very intuitive. She put a guy before me once and I got very upset. I've been trying to get over that since. I'm afraid of talking to her, because I think she'll see it in my eyes. I wish everything could be different, so I could be with her. Maybe if she figured herself out, she'd be open to us. Maybe if I figured myself out, I'd be open to us. We have a lot of growing up to do .It seems to be happening apart from each other. I'm just afraid we'll grow too apart. Â I want her so badly. I want to cuddle her, sleep next to her every night. I want to go for walks with her and go to new places with her. I want to have all the money in the world so I can get her what she needs .I want to go on dates with her. I want us to start afresh, so she can know the me I am becoming. I'm not who I was when I knew her. She probably isn't who she has been. I don't know if I can accept her if she changes too much. What if she doesn't want me anymore? Â It's a messed up situation. Too chaotic. Maybe one day, our ducks will fall in line.
