As someone who was hypersexual at a young age I love thinking abt Ciel’s psychology in that department soooo much
It’s such a private thing that nobody has ever glimpsed. A constant source of entertainment, desire, loathing, and shame for Ciel.
Nobody knows where his thoughts went after almost being sold by the Viscount Druitt. How he grappled with almost feeling disappointed the Druitt didn’t actually want to touch him himself.
Nobody realizes he walks around London thinking that every adult man he meets secretly wants him. Nobody gets how that both makes him feel powerful and worthless all at once.
Nobody will ever understand how he was set up to fail. That it wasn’t just his trauma that makes him feel this way— it’s also the fact he was never the chosen child. Always hungry for the attention his twin never lacked. And now the world has proved to him that the only way he has value is as Earl Phantomhive, or as a sex object.
Nobody will know that he believes the men who did this to him were sick, and he’s certain that his new, putrid desires are a result of whatever disease they were afflicted with. Passed on. Incurable.
Nobody, except Sebastian.