fun things & happiness

if infinite monkeys on typewriters will eventually write shakespeare then surely 100 million americans with pistols will eventually successfully assassinate the us president

I fear a lot of people learned to take good care of library books as children and instead of internalizing "leave shared community items as you found them as much as possible, because other people will use them too" they internalized "printing and binding a book imbues it with sacred energy and if you dog-ear a mass-market paperback you're desecrating the entire concept of written language"

I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine

’kill them with kindness” WRONG. Rohirrim‼️🐴 🛡 ⚔️ 🐴⚔️🛡🐴🐴⚔️🛡🛡⚔️🐴⚔️⚔️⚔️🐴🛡🛡🐴🐴⚔️🐴🐴🐴⚔️🛡🛡⚔️🐴🐴🐴⚔️🛡🐴⚔️🛡🛡⚔️🐴

boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever

they should invent a me without all the anxiety

i stay up late to be happy for a few more hours