skyy, can you feel me?

JAKE: you excited to have me back?

JAKE: guess who is back on campus?

JAKE: it’s me.

LAUREN: I can't guarantee that. You know these hands stay ready. But I will give you an ice pack and a shot to make up for it.

LAUREN: Would linking up for a catch up session be too normcore, or are you committed to this plan?

MERCEDES: I don't think a shot will quite help with the potential black eye but we're getting somewhere.

SAM: But they're so boooooringgggg, please stay the rest of the day. We can just chill. I can give you a massage?

SAM: I guess we were both a bit occupied with other things, than talking about different gadgets. Although, I feel like that should just be one of the first conversations that one has when they get to know someone, so I'm sorry for not initiating it. Would you really bring one back for me :O ???? What did you wanna be then? I need to know the future aspirations of young Mercedes J now! Errrrr, no, so Hondo Ohnaka was a pirate Jedi, but he wasn't a /Jedi/. A pirate in the Star Wars universe is still very much a pirate, like we know them to be, whereas Jedis are there to protect, using the force against the Sith tradition, also known as the dark side. Big difference here. I'm actually gonna chill for a bit, I think; lay low - you've heard it from a million other people and you're gonna hear it from me too; January's lasted for about five years and I need to get back on track with the baseball season coming up.

SAM: You could make yeast rolls here later, and I could help you out?

MERCEDES: If that's the case.... no. Go to class, I'll see you when I see you.

MERCEDES: Occupied with other things has gotta be the most family friendly version of that. Remind me to drop that on my mom when she asks me what I'm doing. I mean, space pens are necessary as is space ice cream and food. I mean what kind of cool gadgets do you have? Of course, I mean everyone deserves a cool pen. I remember I wanted to be a professional ice cream scooper, I mean spending all day around ice cream still sounds great. I wanted to be an art appraiser like Whitley Gilbert in a different world, but I think I just wanted her outfits. And last I wanted be Beyonce in Dreamgirls. I mean, who doesn't wanna come out and do the Diana Ross shimmy? Listen, you just spoke a whole lot of Star Wars to someone who only knows about 9% of the terms boo. Oh shit, is Sam Evans about to take... a chill pill? You excited about the season?

SEBASTIAN: We’re done talking about it.

SEBASTIAN: I’m just lucky. It’s exhausting being nice to people, so I don’t bother unless I want something. He happened to take that the wrong way.

MERCEDES: your secret is safe with me.

In four words? All over the place. 

LAUREN: do I need to worry about you jumping out at me after a soft knock on the front door?

SAM: 11am is officially reserved for one Mercedes Jones 💪

SAM: Woah woah woah, we've known each other for like a year now, and you're only just bringing up the pen /now/?! Do you still have it? Duh, who didn't want to be an astronaut? I wanted to be an astronaut and an MLB player and a Jedi, and then I also wanted to be a cowboy because of my grandparents' ranch. Are you saying I could be the Florida-version of Indiana Jones? Because I'd be fine with that. I think Lauren might take some time out to help me, but you weren't the only one who told me to go to the store and get it

MERCEDES: and a reminder this is a quickie bc we both have class this afternoon 🤧

SEBASTIAN: I'll leave all of that to you because that's a look I couldn't pull off.

SEBASTIAN: I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd love to see you knock me on my ass. Pretty sure Evans would get hard from watching that.

MERCEDES: bitch was that a compliment? how'd it feel?

SAM: So that's a no then?

SAM: But it'd be so cool to be an astronaut though, wouldn't it? Like, flying to other planets and all that...that'd be a dream come true. I don't know, maybe my abs would get me famous? They're ab-ulous. Of course I can sew buttons back on my clothes, Momma Evans didn't raise her kids to not be able to do basic things. You don't wanna help me put my nuts in jars? Oh...I guess we can make peanut butter though. It ain't no sourdough bread, but it's something

MERCEDES: it's a no from me dawg.

[a beat]

MERCEDES: but keep 11am open.

SAM: So you're not up for a quickie before classes?

SAM: Listen, if I could be any type of famous, then I'd want to be the Neil Armstrong type of famous, but we can't all get what we want, so instead, I'mma consider being Reddit famous a pretty good start. No...but she's turning 60 this year, and I've decided to honor her by improving myself and following her ways. Which means that I need to be able to bake a quality type of bread, I have to learn how to crochet, and I gotta keep my nuts fresh in jars - not the bags that they're sold in

MERCEDES: 😒

SAM: Never too early 😉

SAM: Errrr, excuse me ma'am, I once went reddit viral so I beg to differ. Okay, but you see, the thing is, if I go shopping with someone, then I /will/ act ridiculous and joke about buying a leaf blower, and then still go through with it, so that's a thing that won't work. Orange yeast rolls? But...grandma Evans will be way more impressed if I turn up with a sourdough bread than orange yeast rolls...

MERCEDES: don't be fresh boy lmao.

SAM: Why?

SAM: A) I can sleep when I get old, 2) No, because then I'll get distracted by the snacks aisle, and D) If I do something easy, then I'm not doing anything to improve myself. It's a #NewYearNewMe, Cedes. Nobody's gonna learn anything if they don't throw themselves into a challenge sometimes

MERCEDES: it's way too early in the day to go through that train of thought.