Little Circus Freak

That fanfiction is between him and God.

HOWEVER, heres his self-insert

"Hey guys, sorry I haven't written in so long, I got put in prison for blowing up a space station (that was not supposed to happen btw) and then I got welded into a submarine and sent into the blood ocean.

Good news tho, I met God and It personally sent me into the PHM universe, so there should be lot more updates now.

I normally just post into the void. I'm not prepared for people actually perceiving me, wtf

Guys seriously....I avoid all asks that are along the lines of: "WOULD THE CIRCUS MEMBERS CARE IF MC WERE ---" Short, had certain hair, curvy, forgetful, had xyz disorder, etc. etc.

YES....THEY'D CARE....CAUSE THEY LOVE YOU.

Basically they'll all accept you.

If not? Write that fic.

What if the MC is scared of spiders.

-------------------------------------- What if Pierrot comes into the cafe one day just to find you frozen in fear, trembling, staring at this tiny little eight legged creature? Obviously he'd want to kill it right away. How dare this thing cause his beloved such fear? But maybe he'd also feel some anxiety. You're so afraid of just this small little thing. What more of him? Would you ever be able to smile at him warmly if you knew what he truly was? Now, what if you tell him not to kill it? "But aren't you afraid of it, my dear?" "I am, but that's not its fault. It's just existing. It doesn't deserve to die for that." Cue Pierrot's mind running wild with possibilities of you accepting him, of extending kindness to him even if you know what he is. Even if it scares you. You're trying to tell him how to trap the spider in a cup to release outside and he's only half listening because he's too busy imagining your future together. -------------------------------------- Now I'm personally a Pierrot simp through and through, but I could imagine this being fun with Harlequin too. He would immediately start teasing you, trying to scare you even more before eventually mercifully offering to be your savior and vanquish the foul beast. If you refuse his offer, he would just tease you more for being so soft-hearted. Telling you how silly you look trying to find compassion for something while you're so obviously terrified of it. But maybe, just maybe, a small part of him is touched by it, even if he'd never admit it. You would still not be spared from him trying to scare you with various fake spider props afterwards tho. Ideally trying to set it up so you'll jump into his arms out of fear. -------------------------------------- Is this anything? If you or anyone seeing this feels some spark of creativity from this, feel free to write your own version of the scenario. I would be so happy to see it. Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Sorry for the long ask. I must return to my cave now, for I fear being exposed to the sun for any longer may burn my skin. Farewell!

Harlequin, even if he is touched by your compassion, would fucking hold the spider, gently, by one leg and SHOVE IT I N YOUR FACE. LAUGHING.

THE MAN WOULD GET NO PUSSY FOR A MONTH FOR THAT (at least if we're talking about me). LIKE DAMN.

Also that scenario with Pierrot (where MC doesn't want him to kill the spider) was so cute I just gained five fucking cavities. Thank you for the FOOD <3 seriously, that is so sweet~ But as someone who is deathly afraid of spiders, I would straight-up be like:

"KILL IT PIERROT. KILL IT WITH FIRE! PROVE YOU LOVE ME DAMMIT!"

It's late. You're supposed to be closing up, but you're locked in a staring contest with a spider. Then out of the corner of your eye you see Pierrot (or Harlequin if you prefer) approaching the cafe and think "Thank god, someone who can deal with this for me."

As soon as you hear the jingle of the door opening you start pleading "Pierrot please help, there's this giant spi-"

And that's when it starts scuttling away at max speed because it's instinively afraid of his presence and you let out the most blood curdling scream of horror and jump right into his arms.

Overall, perhaps rather traumatizing, as all spider encounters are, but you get to be held by your clown husband, so it's all worth it in the end lol