Here For The Chaos

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

Reblog if you remember a world where you maybe got 100 minutes of call time per month and they rounded up to the nearest minute even if your call was like two seconds long so you developed a type of ring code to let someone know you were near and hope they didn't accidentally pick up and waste your minute.

Actually I've decided this is a poem

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

this is so sad he doesn’t even know there’s a double barreled shotgun pointed at him

Pacific spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis)

obsessed with the fact that howl movingcastle, like, is the ideal portal fantasy protagonist. he's a welsh rugby-playing grad student who enters a magical world where he discovers he's a wildly powerful wizard. there's an evil witch out to get him and the king needs his help and there's a curse catching up with him. he has a magical creature sidekick and an orphan apprentice and a mentor who gets killed by the evil witch halfway through and a love interest under a terrible curse. the story is BEGGING for him to be the main character. and he's just like. no <3.

That's because he's a slitherer-outer (according to my girl Sophie)

You're right but don't say it like that

ive never wanted to send a death threat over a game before

tautological wordle answer

posts that make you open wordle

Oh boy better go try today’s wordle

WHAT THE FUCK

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

every fleetwood mac documentary i've ever watched is like "the band was at the height of their success, enjoying the fame rolling in from their #1 hit 'i know about the other woman, lindsey'. however, nobody could have sensed the tension brewing between members."

"the group initially disbanded immediately after the release of the single 'well get the fuck out if you're going to be like that', leaving thousands of fans shocked."

(writes something) god this sucks so bad. this is awful. i'm the worst writer ever. this is nothing. (rereads it a while after writing it) oh dude this is fire. i'm the god of writing. (writes something again) god this sucks so bad. th