ok sorry I'm even more long-winded today than usual but here's kind of a point I've been meaning to post about that's kind of adjacent to everything discussed directly below this:
I think one thing we don't give enough credit to when it comes to cults or high control groups is how much our need for community and acceptance as humans plays into their success.
like if you've ever looked at someone who you thought was reasonably logical yet they joined some weird group and thought "why the hell did they do that???" 9 times out of 10 I'd argue that it's just bc they're fuckin lonely.
Western culture especially is so hyper-individualistic, we treat the nuclear family as the end all be all of social interaction and like anything else is just a bonus, when as social animals we're hardwired to thrive on as much connection with others as possible.
So when people inevitably need that connection that our society doesn't readily offer, they get desperate. I'd argue that the need for a sense of community and unconditional support is the main motivating factor behind modern, dangerous, cult-y groups like Qanon or the alpha male Andrew Tate bros.
so yea idk that's something I'm always thinking about when interacting with people who are balls deep into some high control, seemingly ridiculous group ya know.......I think about how I'd feel if someone attacked my immediate or only emotional support system, even if they were justified to do so it'd make me defensive and scared of losing it. So I think keeping that at the forefront can sometimes help us to communicate with these kinds of people that can be so hard to understand.
Oof, yes. I had a very brilliant, emotionally stable friend join such a group after college. She would insistently invite us to their virtual Bible studies like how MLM girlies do it. Eventually I went, it wasn’t awful but wasn’t great either. But during it, I learned that they had met her after a breakup (that she had severely downplayed to us) that led to her losing housing (it was a messy) and that caused her to take a month off of her job in order to find herself and one of these members had been there on the street and connected to her. My friends and I discussed it quite a bit and wondered what it would have been like if we could have been there for her.
The group isn’t awful, but they encourage members to live together and date each other; they do EVERYTHING together. I think it’s great that she feels like she has 100+ made in friends, but at what cost to her friends and family outside of the group
This this this. Thinking back to the times I wondered if the fundie life is better and how they always seem so happy, it was always when I felt lonely /going through difficult patches in life and felt like I needed a community of people to lean on. This is exactly why I think the movie midsommar is such a masterpiece and it opened my eyes to how cults target people in their difficult times to capitalize on their pain
