Deranged TES Girlie (g/n)

In addition to those duties prescribed by the Jarl of the hold, the title of Thane comes with certain privileges beyond those of ordinary citizens. These include but are not limited to:

- The right to bear weapons and armor within the cities of the hold

- The right to attend the Jarl’s court, present motions, and vote in matters delegated to them

- The right to found settlements, levy soldiers, and claim unowned territory within the Hold (I see you Lawbringer users 👀👀)

- Exemption from domestic property taxes (farms and business venues remain fully taxable)

- The right to own a warhorse bred in Whiterun

- A lifetime permit to hunt and sell game within the Hold's borders

The settlement of Valtheim Keep was constructed around 1E 135 by High King Harald Hand-Free of Eastmarch in order to consolidate his authority as High King by controlling the thriving maritime trade on the White River. The station remained largely under the control of Eastmarch until the Tiber Wars, when it was ceded to Whiterun Hold as part of the redrawn borders of the unified High Kingdom of Skyrim.

When Skyrim was again split in two by the Civil War of 4E 200, the Imperial administration of Skyrim imposed an embargo on River Trade to and from Stormcloak territory, declaring any trade on the White River between Imperial and Rebel-held Holds an act of treason against the Empire.

With the hold coffers stetched thin by the abrupt cessation of trade, Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun ordered Valtheim and its adjacent supply depot of Fellglow Keep to be officially abandoned by the Whiterun Guard in the Fall of that same year, reassigning the men stationed there to bolster Whitewatch and the Western Watchtower in preparation to retake Fort Greymoor. (Thanks a lot, Mirmulnir)

Hey y'all, I've been thrown back into yet another skyrim binge with the GTS modpack and just remembered this blog exists. Here's some shitty hcs to make up for a year of not posting

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“Bloodskal” (alternatively spelled Bludskal or Blutskal) was the name of a Merethic-era clan from which the renegade Dragon Priest, Zahkriisos, hailed. The name reflected the joy they took in bloodletting, “skal” being used in the sense of a drinking-chant. It is not related to the term “Blod-Skaal,” an honorific used by the Skaal-tribes of Solstheim to denote honorary Skaal, outsiders who have proven themselves trusted allies to their people.

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When first awakened from Dimhollow Crypt, Serana only spoke Old Nordic, which made understanding her difficult. This is not shown in game for technical reasons, and to make things easier for the player.

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The Witch-Queen of Whiterun’s name, Jsashe, is pronounced a little differently then it’s spelled. The J is like the one in “Jarl,” while the E at the end is more of an “eh” than “ay.” Thus her name is pronounced like “Ys-Sasheh” or “Ys-Sasha”

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Unbeknownst to him, Gaenor the Bosmer is an illegitimate son of the god, Sai. He is blessed and cursed with extreme luck (not just the good kind)

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General Tullius's full government name is Saulus Tullius Augustus (Saul as in Saul Tigh played by the same VA)

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Emperor Zero was a Reachman. “Cuhlecain” is a corruption of Cuilleagan, or Culligan in English

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In ancient times, Jhunal was considered a Patron of Bards and God of Flyting within his sphere as god of scholars, though in modern times the role of Bard-God is attributed more to Shor, Dibella, or Kyne

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Nordic “Water of Life” is typically potato Vodka fermented alongside seasonal fruits and berries for flavor

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The Continent of Akavir was alternatively called Drahgkonheim or Dovrhagard by the Atmorans

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In Skyrim, being really drunk is a legal excuse for many non-violent crimes. This is unique among the human kingdoms, who typically follow the Marukhati doctrine of "All are guilty until proven innocent"

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Stolen from PT/TR

Bikonjikk, or ‘Horseless’ is an insult referring to poor Nords. It originated from Whiterun, but later spread across all of Skyrim as White Hold slowly grew to become the “Imperial City of the North” under the Septims’ rule.

A Draconic ‘Kalpa’ refers to cycles of Cosmic Time, the lifespan of the Universe as a whole, whilst the derived Nordic phrase ‘Kaling’ is a poetic term for an age of men. Roughly 70-80 years.

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The Silver Hand cuts deals with the Silver-Blood family for (can you guess?) silver to combat werebeasts. The Hand profits from this with a steady supply of equipment without the need to raid, while the Bloods benefit from added muscle to their own ranks and because Forsworn make up a significant demographic among these creatures in Skyrim.

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The City of “Reich Gradkeep” is simply called Reichgrad or Reichkeep by the locals, as the two words meant essentially the same thing. The Nord-appointed count of the region put both names on the map in an effort to not show too much favoritism towards either race

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The name of the Breton race is derived from the Altmeri word "Beratu", meaning half. The word "Beratumer" is used today in legal cases as a term to describe Non-Breton half-elves.

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"It's not rocket science" is an existing turn-of-phrase in TES due to the existence of Mananauts and the field of Aethernautics. However, the expression "It's not Tonal Magic" is used far more often to convey the same meaning.

Ship of Theseus = Ship of Topal

Occam’s Razor = Mehrunes’ Razor

Infinite Monkeys : Shakespeare = Infinite Scamps : Crassius Curio

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The word "Husky" doesn't exist in TES, the breed is instead called "Danstrar Sledhound"

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The word "Atronach" comes from Reachi, meaning approximately “Terror” or “Frightful Being”

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The Akaviri Potentates were alternatively called the “Surrogate Dynasty” or “Surrogate Emperors”

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The Medes derive their claim to the Imperial Throne from Cuhlecain, Emperor Zero of the Septim Dynasty. A traditionally very weak claim, but one they’ve managed to capitalize on and uphold through military might.

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The Druids revere Galen as a Saint who Mantled his God (Y’ffre), like Auri-El to the Altmer

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M’aiq the Liar is a reincarnating Ada, not quite a ‘god’ per se, but certainly an ancient spirit. He constantly reincarnates through his descendants, who are less ‘born’ and more ‘created’ through some kinda weird god-mitosis bullshittery.

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The Falmer who were taken underground by the Dwemer were used not for slave labor, but for horrific genetic experiments and a renewable source of souls to power their automata. (Pretty much just straight canon at this point tbh)

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The Reclamations Tribune is abbreviated as AMATHRA (Azurah-MAfala-boeTHRA)

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Skakmat was a summoned Daedric Titan, not a real dragon

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Dragonrend can serve as a counter to Dragon Aspect

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The Last Dragonborn is not cursed to be infertile, instead their children are cursed to be born still or die prematurely 🙃

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Many artifacts will have reactions with others when wielded by the same user:

Dawnbreaker and the Mace of Molag Bal will cancel out eachothers’ effects and constantly make angry noises; as will the Sword of Jyggalag with most of Sheogorath’s artifacts.

Artifacts of Azura, Boethiah, and Mephala will strengthen eachother’s enchantments; as will artifacts of Hircine & Dagon

The Crusader’s Relics will massively buff other divine artifacts such as Chrysamere or the Hammer of Stendarr, but will not tolerate any daedric artifacts. The armor will give you a single warning if you try to wield both and will disappear if you do so again.

Mixing artifacts of Sheogorath and Hermaeus Mora is just asking for a bad time, but the power it can grant you is unfathomable.

Mixing The Sword of Jyggalag or Vaermina’s Orb with Hermaeus Mora’s books can grant visual insight into the knowledge contained within. There’s no guarantee that you’ll like what you find, though.

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Other Artifacts of Jyggalag:

Helm of Stasis: Nullifies Status Ailments and Magical Damage, Suspends Emotion, Fortifies Intelligence

A comically large magic abacus

A set of scales that divides an object placed on one side, or combines two objects placed on opposite sides. This can include other artifacts, with the exception of Sheogorath’s.

A small box cavernous on the inside, organizes anything put inside, it is unknown by what metric things are sorted, except the items inside are always Exactly where the user needs it to be without ever moving.

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Chrysamere as another name for Penitent, the blade of Trinimac? (Mostly bc Gortwog had it tbh)

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Before the discovery of dragonhorn’s grounding properties, the Dragonguard (and later the Empire’s Blades) would hunt the dragons using hwachas and harpoon-loaded ballistae.

What if time-space in Tamriel, or rather the metaphysical Nirn, worked by different ideas of what are translated to us as cardinal directions? What if, instead of travelling to the future or past by going in a certain physical direction, there were different metaphysical "directions" one could travel on to reach different temporal and physical locations? I drew up some charts, thought myself real clever, and everything was good. Then I huffed a little too much skooma and started wondering if the different time models (kalpas, amaranth, etc) and accompanying philosophical / religious differences of different Tamriellic cultures could also be related to their respective “locations” on these "philosophaxes." (Confirmation bias? Never heard of her) These charts are the result:

Lyg as inverse of the center? As “Not Here” / “Not Now” / “Not Our Place”? The only adjacent-place truly inaccessible and all the more eldritch / strange for it?

Morrowind as Loveborne-Potential-Transcendence as described in C0DA? Alinor as antithesis Hateborne-Denial-Imprisonment where Walk-Brass would call home?

Akha in Khajiit myths going "South" to never return, Alduin the "World-Eater"

Northwesterly High Rock as Loveborne Determinism, (likely unintentional) parallels with Christianity and thus west-european tropes by association? (as opposed to Gnostic Morrowind & Nihilist Alinor?)

Cyrodiil as True Center of Each Axis, thus its metaphysical dominance over all of Tamriel / Talos as the "King of the Gods"?

bosmer uncle ruckus, claims they're an ohmes khajiit (or the other way around)

virginalus loserus maximus, the one imperial that can’t get laid

bierhal salty-shaft, gay nord sailor

karlov sickle-hammer, nord communist

barak gro-bama, orismer emperor

Bretic / Yoku:

Razzier/Raider – (Bretic) Razzia + -er, descended from Old Yoku “Razwa*”

* French ‘Razzia’ borrowed from Algerian-Arabic ‘Gaziya,’ derived from classical Arabic ‘Gazwa.’ Yoku ‘Razwa’ is a backform of the original Arabic.

Nordic –

Vikingr (pl. Vikingar) when referring to Sea-Raiders/Pirates;

Throknir (pl. Throknrar) for Land-Raiders.

Dunmeris –

Reaver: Berserk madmer, derived from Aldmeris term

N’wah: “Foreigner” or “Barbarian”, sometimes “Slave,” carries criminal connotations

Altmeris –

Aprax; General term for social outcasts; commonly used for criminals, outlaws, exiles, foreigners, disgraced warrior or noble castemer, sexual deviants, the hulkynd, and others deemed ‘undesirable’ by polite Altmer society.

Nebarra (Same as N’wah, likely Cognates);

Reaver (for berserk madmer)

Cyrodiilic –

(Classical) Banditus, derived from Khajiit term. Ancestor of modern Cyrodiilic “Bandyta”

Khajiiti –

Baandari / Baandiit – Followers of Baan Dar. Carries little negative connotation, instead focusing on the cleverness and will-to-freedom embodied by the God and his followers;

West Bretic:

Syntax: Old English / Norman - [Name] Fitz*[Parent or Ancestor] d’[Homeland]

Inspirations: Portuguese or Flemish, with small French influence

Examples: Rogier FitzRufus d’Wayrest (Rogier, son of Rufus of Wayrest); Santiago FitzMarcos d’Camlorn

* descended from Old Nedic “filius”

East Bretic (West Reachi):

Syntax: Welsh Names, except ungendered - [Name] (m)ap/(m)ab [Parent Name]

Inspirations: Welsh names, Italian names

Examples: Fortunata ap Dugal (Fortunata, daughter of Dugal, assuming the name is genuine & proper); Dafydd ap Ruidri (Daveth, son of Ruidri)

East Reachi: Gaeltacht Names, Double Patronymic

Syntax: Old Irish, double patronym - [Name] Mac/Ui/Ni [Parent Name] Ó/Ua [Grandparent or Ancestor]*

Inspirations: Old Irish names, Pictish names (all, like, five of them that we know)

Examples: Céileachán mag* Eochagáin Ó Faoláin (Ceileachan, son of Eochaidh, descendant of Faolán***) Saoirse nic Shiúrtáin Ní Bhraonáin (Saoirse, daughter of Siúrtáin, daughter of Braonáin)

* please correct me if I’m wrong about how Irish names work, I don’t speak Gaelige

** c is swapped for g when followed by a vowel

*** Ó Faoláin is a very common name among Reachmen

High / Old Cyrodiilic Style:

Syntax: Pseudo-Latin - [Given Name / Praenomen] [Family Name / Nomen]*, [Nickname or Family Branch / Cognomen] OR Given Name and Patronymic/Matronymic (if a person belongs to no clan)

Inspiration: Roman Names, Italian Names

Examples: Tiberius Valerius Astrantus (Tiberius, descended from “Astrantus” of the Valerius Family); Flavio Edouardo Felice (“Lucky” Flavio of the Edouardo Family); Cadma filia Artoriae (Cadma, Daughter of Artorias) **

Notes: A lowborn Cyrodiil may occasionally be rechristened in High Cyrodiilic by the Elder Council in commemoration of some great act of service or dedication to the Empire. It is considered a tremendous honor, usually reserved for the greatest Generals of the Legions, the Bishops of the Nine Divines, and (historically***) politicians elected to a position in the council.

* The nomen is usually omitted in casual speech in favor of the Cognomen, denoting the family branch or nickname]

** Same as Irish, latine non loquor

*** After the oligarchic reforms under Pelagius Septim II, seats on the council became hereditary positions afforded only to the wealthiest citizens of the Empire.

Low / Vulgar Cyrodiilic: Slavo-Italian

Syntax: English Style, drop the cognomen – [Given Name] [Surname]

Inspiration: Old Church Slavonic names, Greek Names:

Examples: Rislav Larich, Vasilii Alexei

Nordic Name Style:

Syntax: Kind of a blend between Slavic & Old Norse - [Given Name], [Patronymic/Matronymic] [Clan], In casual speech, the Patronymic is omitted among strangers, whereas the Clan Name is omitted among neighbors, friends, and family.

Inspiration: Germanic names, Hungarian Names

Examples: Sven Borgasson Proudmane (Sven, son of Borgas of clan Proudmane); Bael Junsson Iron-Skull (Bael, son of Jun of Clan Iron-Skull)

Orcish Name Style:

Syntax: [Name] gro/gra-[ParentName OR Homeland]

Inspiration: Turkish names, Mongolian names

Examples: Kurog gro-Orsinium (Kurog of Orsinium); Yamarz gro-Azog (Yamarz, (son) of Azog)

Dunmer Name Style:

Syntax: [Great House] [Given Name] [Minor house / clan / family]

Inspirations: Hindu Vedic names, Quenya/Sindarin names

Examples: Indoril Nerevar Mora (Nerevar, from the Mora family of Great House Indoril)

Notes: A person with a great house but no minor house (i.e. Sotha Sil) is either an orphan or a noble born to the main family / branch of the Great House (there’s probably a joke or folktale somewhere in that). Only foreigners and Ashlanders have no Great House.

Khajiiti Name Style:

Syntax: [Honorific]'[Name] OR ]Name]'[Honorific]

Inspirations: Iraqi names, Romani names, Sanskrit names

Examples: Jo'Basha (Scholarly Basha); Zhani'Daro (Clever Zhani)

Notes: Ta'agra does not use surnames, your guess is as good as mine for how their census works

Altmer, Falmer, Bosmer, & Ayleid Name Style*:

Syntax: [Given Name] 'len [Mother] [Maternal Grandfather] [Maternal Grandmother] 'ata [Father] [Paternal Grandfather] [Paternal Grandmother], 'cal [Surname]

Inspirations: Quenya/Sindarin names, Welsh names, Various medicine and shoe brands

*All elves descended from the Altmer have historically used variations of this naming pattern. The Kanuryai (Left Handed Elves), Dwemer, Chimer, Maormer, and Orsimer split off from the Aldmer before this became the standard. Bosmer historically used no last names, instead having adopted the custom from their neighbors (either Ayleidoon or Altmeri)

Redguard / Yoku Name Style:

Syntax: [Surname] [Given Name]* OR [Given Name] [Derivation(s)]

Inspirations: Semitic names, Japanese names

Examples: Gaiden Shinji, Sura al-Sentinel (Cyrus of Sentinel), Frandar do Hunding Hel Ansei No Shira (The Noble Sword-Saint, Frandar of the Hunding Desert)

Finding the Eye of Magnus? They're on the other side of the ruins translating Dovahzul inscriptions.

Books come alive in the Arcanaeum? They just finished a double all-nighter writing their Restoration midterm, slept right through the whole thing in one of the study chairs. Urag was PISSED.

Arniel Gane recreating the experiment that brought the Dwemer to extinction? They're busy heaving their guts out after helping Brelyna test a spell that literally turned them green (or, well, greener if they're an orc).

In the days of the Dragon Cult, great Nord warriors would perform ritual cannibalism on the bodies of defeated adversaries to add the power of the slain to their own, in imitation of their draconic masters.

Swordthane: proved themselves in battle or war; they are usually the head (or a high-ranking officer) of the hold’s armed forces. Sometimes acts as a bodyguard of the Jarl in tandem with the Housecarl and/or Shieldthane(s)

Shieldthane / Torc-Thane: Defended the Jarl's life or protected the hold against invaders in wartime; often serve in the honor-guard of the Jarl under the Housecarl

Lawthane: proved an exemplary peacekeeper and/or a steadfast commander in times of conflict; Often a secondary title of the Captain of the City Guard

Runethane: well-versed in the arcane arts and its uses in benefiting the city, the position is usually held by local Wise-Men or family of the official Court Wizard

Lorethane: preserver of the hold’s history; usually held by scribes, skalds, and adventurers who reclaim ancient relics for the hold; Almost exclusive to the Old Holds

Tradethane: a person vital to the economy of the hold, one who instigates trade or provides an invaluable service to the hold’s people. The Tradethane also serves as an advisor to the Hold’s treasury. The title is roughly equivalent to a Merchant-Lord in High Rock.