IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT STEVIA IS, IT'S A FUCKING ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT. PLEASE DON'T EVER FUCKING ASK ME TO MAKE IT AVAILABLE IN MY CAFE, I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT.
ABOUT THE CAFE - ABOUT KARKAT - KARKAT'S RELATIONS
(jay's humanstuck coffeeshop AU.)
KANAYA, HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU REMIND ME OF MY MOM? LIKE IT'S FUCKING FREAKY.
Is That SoAlthough I Must Admit Now That You Have Mentioned It I Can Get RatherMotherly, I SupposeNonetheless, However ‘Freaky’ It May BeI Would Probably Ease Up On Channeling My Maternal Instincts If You Bothered To Take Care Of Your Hair And Paid A Little More Attention To The State Of Your Wardrobe
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okay yeah it might look a bit ugly, but come on… it doesnt seem that bad since everything back is to the way it was, and you dont have to buy it now, you can always buy it later, and besides, its not like they are going to stop making games for the 360!!
im not saying you should buy it, or give it a second chance (because thats dumb and not me)
but im pretty excited at halo 5, and if youre ever up to it, we can pay some other halo online one on one or something and ill totally kick your ass (:
IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING VCR, HARLEY. THEY DID A FUCKING THROWBACK THURSDAY AND JUST GRABBED ME BY THE NUTS AND THREW ME BACK INTO THE 90'S.
MAYBE IF CAPTOR WANTS TO WASTE HIS FUCKING MONEY ON THAT ABOMINATION, FINE. BUT THERE'S NO WAY IN THE SWEATY PITS OF HELL THAT I'LL EVEN CONSIDER GIVING MICROSOFT THAT MUCH OF MY MONEY EVER AGAIN.
I'M GROANING OVER THE THOUGHT OF HALO 5. HALO 4 WAS ALREADY A SHITTY RIP OFF OF COD. LET'S JUST STICK TO THE GOOD OLD NON-SHITTY CLASSICS.
i’ve never been big on xbox (ps has more games i’m interested in) but really i don’t care if the kinect thing is going big brother on me or not that a lot of extra money for a thing i’m never going to use!
like props to them to actually listening to their audience but it sounds like they’re just holding back on stuff they plant to implement in the future.
also again the forced kinect makes it wayyy out of my price range.
FIRST OFF, THE BIG ISSUE IS THAT THEY RELEASED THE GOD-AWFUL VCR WITH THAT BIG-BROTHER BULLSHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE, EXPECTING US TO EJACULATE IN OUR PANTS OVER THE FACT THAT THEY CAN POTENTIALLY RECORD US PERFORMING SEXUAL ACTS IN FRONT OF THE TV. THEN THEY THREW ALL THAT SHIT IN, "YAY! YOU POOR COCKSUCKERS CAN NOW WATCH TV ON YOUR FUCKING PLATFORM, AS IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE A COMPUTER!" AND BASICALLY WANTED TO BRAINWASH US INTO THINKING THAT WE NEED AN XBOX THAT FOCUSES ON ANYTHING EXCEPT GAMING! AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU PROJECTILE VOMIT DIRECTLY ONTO MICROSOFT, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP DELUSION YOU'RE PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH.
MY OTHER POINT RELIED ON SOME INFORMATION ABOUT HOW I PREFER TO GAME IN MY BOXERS, BUT I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THAT SHIT OUT.
As you hang up, you notice a scowl plastered over your face. It's not unusual, given the fact that you're always so incredibly high strung. (Who could blame you, when you're stuck in a cafe all day and have to come home to some shitty best friend you've had to deal with for years.) Dealing with people on the phone isn't so fun, either.
So you set your phone down on the table and grumble all the way to Sollux's room. You peer in, and he's doing the usual - eyes glued to his monitor, fingers tapping away at the keyboard. You watch him for a bit, feeling a wave of exhaustion overcome you. The sounds of him coding are very familiar to you, and in a strange way, very relaxing. You manage to walk in and flop yourself down on his bed, his familiar scent surrounding you.
"I ordered the goddamn pizza," you mumble, not bothering to face him. "Said it would take like 20 minutes or something. When he gets here, you better answer the fucking door, because I'd rather cut off my balls than deal with the shithead delivery guy tonight."
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I HAD SO MUCH FUCKING FAITH PUT INTO THE MICROSOFT CORPORATION, SINCE THE XBOX 360 PROVIDED ME MANY YEARS OF SATISFYING ENTERTAINMENT (EXEMPT FROM THE HORRENDOUS EXPERIENCE I'VE HAD WITH LIVE, THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY SHITTY PREPUBESCENT BOYS TO ENJOY ANYTHING ONLINE).
AND THEN THE XBOX ONE CAME OUT AND SHATTERED MY DREAMS. FUCK MICROSOFT FOR NOT FIXING ANYTHING BEFORE IT BECAME BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TO THEM THAT THEY WERE GOING TO GO FUCKING BANKRUPT IF THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
I FOLLOW ALL THESE XBOX BLOGS AND NOW I JUST FEEL FUCKING REPULSED EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR POSTS.
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eugh fiine but you have two an2wer the door, ii hate talkiing two them. al2o no 2au2age thii2 tiime that 2hiit wa2 not made out of any meat ii could recogniize. not even the fake meat2.
EXCUSE ME, BUT KINDLY FUCK YOU FOR THINKING THAT I LIKE TALKING TO THEM ANY MORE THAN YOU DO. MOST OF THE DELIVERY GUYS ARE SHITTY ASS TEENAGERS WHO SMELL FAINTLY OF MARIJUANA.
(YEAH, THAT MEAT WAS EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS. I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED AT FUCKING ALL IF THAT SHIT WAS MADE OF DOG INTESTINE OR ANYTHING ELSE EQUALLY MORTIFYING. THE AFTERTASTE REMINDED ME OF WHAT YOU SMELL AFTER TAKING OFF YOUR PANTS AFTER A WORKOUT. SMELLY ASS. )
YOU BETTER PROVIDE THE TIP, YOU ASSFUCK. I’M DEALING WITH THIS SHIT FOR YOU. ALSO, SINCE YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH LEGAL TORTURE, WE’RE GETTING A FUCKING COMBO. ANY OBJECTIONS? YEAH? WELL I DON’T GIVE A FLYING SHIT.
Due to the amazing arrival of our new rpers (thank you to those who jumped in, and thank you to those who took the time to find our new lovely buddies), we are going to do some crazy time shenanigans and set our rp back to the beginning!
Right now, in our AU, Vantas Cafe has just opened and Karkat is hurting for employees. Sollux helps out of the goodness of his heart (this is where Karkat would laugh dryly). Rose stumbles upon a new gem in a suburb of redundancy and tries to ask her friends if they would like to perform at the cafe. Kanaya has just moved in with Vriska from France.
THIS IS JUST THE BACKGROUND SITUATION. Roleplays can be conducted by anyone, towards anyone. After it is apparent that everyone understands the plot and is willing to proceed forward, I, with some help from you all, will come up with prompts that will set goals for the au's plot progression.
But for now, have fun! Your rps do not have to revolve around plot. Roleplays that do not stick to the au's timeline should be tagged with #au.
Here are some further handy-dandy references that are free for y'all to pick up and look at:
The fic that our AU is based off of
Plot-important character info
Cafe geography/interior ref
And here are some tagging/rp formatting guidelines under the cut.
Always tag the user you're rping with.
Tags can be used as IC or OOC comments.
When rping plot, use what I like to call "fic format". example
Also tag the date while rping plot, to keep things less confusing and chronological. example: coffee6.2 would be an rp that was started June 2nd.
Simple rping, or "chat rp", should be typed using each characters' quirk. example
Tag pictures as #rppic so a user may blacklist pics for easier access to text posts. (I tend to reblog a lot as Karkat.)
NSFW RPS ARE TOTALLY FINE! As long as they're consensual, obviously. I recommend planning a nsfw rp before actually starting one. As such, nsfw rps are tagged as #nsfw.
Thank you, and have fun! Any further questions should be directed to me on skype! <333 ))
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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