Angels Lie To Keep Control

i think when people see me they are seeing something else. either through me or in between me or anything besides the space i take up. they tell me i am driven but do not realize in that same drive i am drowning. it washes over me, grains of sand etching  'you are not enough’ in supple skin. i always feel a foot shorter than i really am. when i finally stand up straight and someone says, taken aback, ‘oh, i didnt know you were that tall’ i am tricked for a split second into thinking there is only one version of me. boys whisper in my ear they never want to let me go. want to know me in five years. in ten years. want to see where i’ll go. think i can do everything. i want to faint. i am doing nothing. i’ve spent hours staring back at my own eyes. the ground is littered in sketches that resemble me but i don’t quite recognize. something tells me i exist but never why. never where. never with whom.

Sometimes you were meant to be with them for a moment and not for a lifetime.