life in words

I find it incredibly humbling to come back to an account that I invested so much time, love, and genuine dedication into as a young teenager - just to find that it still grows slowly, and the old content still gets interaction, now that I’m in my mid-twenties, and a completely different person. 

This space, and the group of people that cared enough to give me their attention and time throughout the years, will always be special and cherished in a way I cannot explain (for once, I have no words!). But after all this time, it’s time to start anew, and so this post is to thank every last one of you who helped make fuckereesworldofimagines what it was - still is?- today.  

I have created a new account, sedulous-snail, where I will be trying some new things that I am nervous to put out, as well as where I will eventually hope to provide content to people with the option to “tip the creator” so to speak. I know that is getting incredibly ahead of myself! But my family has grown and those hungry little gremlins have vet bills that my full time job isn’t covering - so I’m trying to start working towards getting some help with those. It is very important to note that this is an extremely distant pipe dream for my new account. 

At the present time, I will be focused on growing my page by finding creators to follow, reblogging content that fits my interests and inspires me, and getting comfortable back on Tumblr again. 

I will never be able to say how grateful I am for what this account did for my life, and how hopeful I am for the future - and the futures of every one of you who ever played a part supporting this account, and in turn supporting me. I look forward to learning this platform again, and intaking incredible content! 

You are all so very loved, and thought of. I hope to meet you again on my new adventure, but if this is where the story ends for us - thank you is an understatement, and take care. 

Hey guys, so I decided to post a little bit of some of the writing I did when I didn’t have internet. It’s really hard for me, because I haven’t felt as in-touch with my writing side as I’ve wanted to be in a really long time. 

It’s cool if you don’t like it, it’s cool if you do, this is just for me to edge back out there. I’m aware my grammar is probably crap, run on sentences, etc. it’s me trying to keep up with my brain. 

Anyway, this is “what is your favourite colour?” 

It comes around in different ways, different shades, more than a singular colour.

It’s there when you stretch out your stiffening body, your aching bones groaning as you change position for the first time in hours, too many hours, and before you know it you’re watching the sun quietly brighten the morning - it dances underneath the sun, those mingling shades that remind you of the beauty of a fresh start, and though your eyelids fight the too-real weight put on them, a faint smile pulls up the corners of your dry, cracked lips, it’s a glorious rebirth. 

It’s there when you’re laughing with a loved one, hand in hand as the autumn air dances around the two of you, and you zigzag back and forth to hear the satisfying crunch under the shoes your woollen sock-clad feet call home, because the fall has come to tell the leaves to kiss the trees goodbye, and their stunning array of vibrancy makes for a beautiful image.

It’s there when you’re a child, your skin kissed by the hot rays, droplets of water still falling from your hair as you lay out on your towel, squeezing your eyes shut as you look toward the sky, the blinding brightness of the sun illuminating the usual darkness behind your lids, revealing what you don’t normally see. 

It’s there when you watch the first splash of cream dance in a warm cup of Red Rose, inhaling deeply, eager for that first sip of liquid comfort as your hands wrap around the mug, the warmth radiating through when you need it the most.

It’s there in snippets of life. 

It’s the galaxy, even farther beyond what we could possibly imagine, peppered with stars, sprinkled with planets, the image so breathtaking, so one of a kind, that you wish you could dip a paintbrush in. 

It’s a pie, sitting on an overflowing table that draws people together, remains of the intricately carved gourd who just previously had cast it’s spectre-esque shadow shakily with the flickering light from within. 

It’s the dark swirling in a bruise, the boldness of a scar when the cold takes to your skin, a reminder that though you can be hurt, you are resilient, you are a walking story, and that story doesn’t have to be sad, it doesn’t have to hurt, too.

So, after all of the reading you had to do in part one, I’ll try to keep this one short and sweet! 

Basically in 2018 I had a lot of highs and lows, my life wound in some crazy directions, but it all taught me stuff I needed to know and I’m better for it, in all honesty - even though I didn’t think I’d make it through, I had the best support system & learned a lot about myself and my coping mechanisms. 

Part of what we went through included losing our internet, and even though it’s just wifi, it took away a lot for all of us. Including this place - one of my biggest outlets and something keeping me sane & bringing positivity. So I cannot even begin to explain how awesome it is to have it back! 

This year I get to continue to be an auntie to three incredible little people, I’ll turn 21, celebrate 3 years with the love of my life, 2 years of being engaged, my cat’s 2nd birthday (and consequently my grandkitties 1st birthday - thanks fur kid for sneaking out the window at 3am and coming back pregnant) and a whole lot more! 

What I really want to be a part of this year is my creative writing, and that’s why I’m updating, because I want to get back to this! I might change the blog name (which you guys could help with), and I might do more of my own writing, not so much just imagines/ships. I’m not 100% on anything yet, other than the fact that I’m happy to be able to get back in touch with this side of myself. 

Please take the time to catch up, but if you don’t want to: TLDR - went through some life altering shit, had a life changing surgery, got wifi back, and am hopefully coming back soon with some original stuff and some request responses (if any requests come in). 

I really, really hope that you all had a good last bit of 2018, that you entered this year with love, hope and happiness. Remember how resilient you are, all that you’ve fought through to get to this point, and all of the people who have something positive in their lives because of you. 

I really wanna get in touch with people this year, and y’all know how open I am! So please, feel free to get in touch with questions, comments, requests, things you’re wondering about and want to know, anything! 

As per usual, thanks for sticking around, and I hope you stay a while, 

Hey everyone! 

I just wanted to pop in and leave a little update - I am hoping to be a bit more active in the next little while, but no promises, life is crazy. 

The last half of 2018 was a really hectic time for me, and not all of it in a positive way.

This part of the update is about the operation I had to have, I feel it’s important to talk about it because it does still impact me, and also because it’s a large part of my life that I don’t want to sweep under the rug - and I also want to remind people that if you think something is wrong medically, and everyone (parents, doctors, nurses, etc) keep trying to tell you it’s all in your head - NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR YOUR BEST HEALTH!! This took me SEVEN years of pleading - although I’ve had it my whole life - to finally get to the answer.

I got a really amazing job at a animal boarding facility on a really nice little farm, and I was over the moon excited about it. While working that job, I noticed that the lower right abdominal pain that has plagued me for over 7 years started to increase with the increase of my daily activity - to which I shrugged and said “Oh Emma, it’s just because you’re not used to this work!”. I shook it off, dealt with it like I have for such a long time, and pushed on. 

One night my fiancé (we’ll call her C) and I were laying in bed, there were some.. activities that we were relaxing after, and all of a sudden my pain came on full force. It was like I was shot, I rolled off of my side, hoping the change in movement would help, but nothing that I usually did to ease the discomfort was working. 

I talked to my mum (I don’t live at home, or even in the same city as her), and told her what was happening. C didn’t know what to do, she was trying everything to help, and eventually I drank the tea she made and tried my best to get some sleep. The next day it was worse, I went to work, and by the time I was done I could barely walk, I didn’t know what was happening, and I was getting annoyed. 

I went to the hospital, and they did a lot of testing but they were super confused and couldn’t truly see anything. They gave me some pain medication and told me to go home, but to come back if I noticed any symptoms from the list they gave me. By that night I was experiencing 3-4 of those symptoms, and knew something wasn’t right. 

I went back to the hospital, and they kept me this time. I had to fight the doctors every step of the way as they continually told me it was my endometriosis, and/or I was faking the severity. I finally lost it, crying to my mum and C, and they went after the doctors. It took a fight, but eventually I had exploratory surgery to see if they could definitively prove it was endo. 

Long story short, they were wrong. The endo I’ve been told will make me infertile & unable to ever have my own children.... was actually in its microscopic phase still, my reproductive organs are “pristine” and it was NOT the cause of this. I was supposed to have some more testing done, but the doctor got fed up and sent me home.

Weeks later I had the scopes done, and we came to realize that what was actually going on was so bizarre and rare that he couldn’t name one other case he’d seen in someone my age - or a case that had persisted like this for so long. 

Turns out that I was born with my cecum (part of the colon) not attached to the wall of my abdomen, spoiler alert: it’s kinda important to have it attached. For my ENTIRE life I’d had recurring cecal volvulus. 

To make that not sound so doctor-y, my cecum would flip over on itself and block off my entire digestive tract passed the point of the cecum. Everything before the cecum was halted & stuck, building up pressure and causing the pain - everything after the cecum could empty, but that wouldn’t help. 

On December 5th, 2018 I underwent a procedure to remove my cecum, and my appendix to be safe, and have my colon put back together without them.  I had an epidural, which really felt like nothing (not even the freezing needles hurt), and I was put under. When I woke up I was told that the surgery went well, I didn’t end up with a colostomy bag because he had successfully reattached the colon, and that in 6-8 weeks I’d be healed up fully - if everything went well. 

I needed 30 staples to close my incision, which goes vertically from just above my bellybutton, around the bellybutton slightly, and down to just a few inches above the beginning of the pubic area. My body rejected the staples after around 12-13 days, so I had them removed, and one part of my incision healed a little worse for wear than the rest, but ultimately is okay. 

Tomorrow I will be 5 weeks post-op, my scar is healed entirely on the outside, but my internal work won’t be fully healed for another few weeks. I haven’t had my abdominal pain since the surgery, which I tear up at every time I say, because I was prepared to live a life of recurrent agony & be told it was all in my head.

I was prepared to have to live like that forever - and now, now I don’t have to pretend I’m okay, my family/friends won’t have to continually hear, “I’m fine, just my stomach”, I feel so much better - and that’s what I want for any of you guys suffering out there. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, raise your voice, and tell the doctors/nurses/etc, that they are wrong. That you deserve the best care. That you deserve to know what is really going on. 

Anyway, after an extremely long story, that is a little bit of what’s been going on! I’ll post another part of the update a bit later. 

If any of you guys have any questions, responses, intriguing thoughts - please feel free to send a message! My ask box is always open, always welcoming, and I am always open to what you have to say, very rarely do I find messages on here insulting/rude/something I won’t answer. 

As per usual, thanks for sticking around, I hope you stay a while, part two will be up soon. Good vibes to all of you <3 

Hi there! 

I’m not sure when this came in, I have been MIA and my tumblr has been silent really - but now that I have wifi back where I’m living, I’m hoping to be more active! 

Requests are never fully closed, but they’re never really open - my requests are kinda like purgatory I guess (here’s where the shrug emoji would go, lol). 

You are more than welcome to send in one, but please don’t get upset if it’s not done within a quick time frame - there’s too much to say, but essentially I will do my best to fill it whenever I can. I still have one waiting from probably near a year ago now - because I have been so far away from my writing.   

The feel of the keyboard as I answer these asks is pretty chill though, so maybe I’ll vibe with my creative side a bit more later/tomorrow. 

Thanks for your message - hope to see more, and sorry it took this long! 

Hey Jacqi, I am so sorry I go MIA for such long periods of time - I’ve also had no wifi for some months & just got it back. Please know that I think about your messages, and am so thankful for the fact that you check in - I can’t be anymore apologetic than I am to have left you for so long without a response! 

Hoping to be more active now that wifi is back. 

I am just over a month post - op from an abdominal surgery to correct what’s been plaguing me for my entire life, so that’s pretty awesome! Looking into moving and trying to find a job! 

I hope life has been good to you, and I’m so sorry I haven’t been around. I hope you’re doing well, and that this year brings nothing but the best for you! 

A/N: Hi! I’m so sorry for the delay on this one, life has been hectic and I’ve been awol again. This is a request for the reader always wearing oversized clothing, and having to defend themselves against body shaming. 

Rating: PG13

Warnings: Slight body shaming

Imagine... 

Your eyes skim over the bright, eye catching display lined up in the front window of the store, taking in the way the fabric encircled the mannequins, the way it fell into place and seems to catch in all the right spots. So different from the woman looking back at herself, the woman in the greatly oversized blouse and loose dress pants, “practically bellbottoms” Morgan had called them. 

In the background of your personal pity bubble was a chaos-riddled scene, starkly opposing the side of the street you stood on. Looking over a particular piece one last time, you popped your sunglasses back on and turned around to face the music once more. 

Police cruisers scattered the stained asphalt, some with doors still wide open, and men and women flashing badges weaved through them, trying to make some sense of what happened here. “Y/N, I could use some help if you’re not busy”, Rossi’s voice broke through the static of so many others and you quickly checked the street before making the quick walk over. 

He was standing a few feet away from the victim, his eyes glued on the young man’s, and you quietly joined him in silent contemplation. “I keep seeing something wrong with this scenario.. Something’s..”, he stopped, unable to find the words, “just look it over for me, tell me what you feel in your gut”. 

Your brow furrows, but you knew better than to question one of Rossi’s “feelings”, it was very rare that his hunch didn’t come to a head as a critical detail. Careful not to disturb anything, you take the pair of gloves he offers, and take a knee beside the man.

Rossi rattles off what the report says, slowly, but with emphasis on the details he’s questioning. “It says there’s no defensive wounds, which makes us turn to the idea that this young man was incapacitated, someway unable to fight back - but look at his feet”. 

You’re instantly unsure of what he could possibly mean, his feet? Weren’t defensive wounds an arm/hand thing most often? But nevertheless, you appease his strange request and shift your weight over onto the other knee as you move to take a closer look. 

“I see what you mean”, instantly it’s clear, and you turn to look up at Rossi who’s smirking. “There’s cuts that shouldn’t be there, mostly on the bottom and near the toes, but why do you think those would be defensive wounds?”. He offers a hand and helps you from your crouched position, letting you dust yourself off before he continues. 

“Look at his wrists for me”, yet again you appease the man, but you were not going through the ordeal of getting on the ground again, so instead you lean over to look. As you catch sight of what he’s talking about, and try to deepen your stance to get a better look, you hear it. 

There’s an uncharacteristic lull in the shouting around you, just brief enough for you to catch the tail end of the undeniable sound of your pants tearing. Quickly you shoot back up, your face in the midst of burning up with a furious look of embarrassment already, and tug your blouse down over your bum. 

“Ligature marks, he was tied down, but only his hands and arms, leaving his legs and feet free to try and fight via kicking - you’re right that something’s off, why don’t you go tell Hotch?”, you prayed that your enthusiasm would send him running for answers, you prayed that he wouldn’t ask if you were okay, you prayed that he hadn’t even noticed, but by the look on his face you knew your prayers were going unanswered in this moment. 

He clears his throat and looks back to his file, clearly trying to stall while he thinks of a way to address the matter appropriately, and you take a few slow, quiet deep breaths while he does. “That store you were at, is it expensive?”, he keeps his voice low, not wanting to draw attention, “because if it is, put it on this card and we’ll find a way to make it a work expense, okay?”. 

You can feel tears prickling behind your eyes at his answer, you were grateful he’d let you do that when he could take the blame and have to cough up the money if it got flagged as an unnecessary charge. “Okay, but I don’t know if they sell my size”, that was the next hurdle the two of you had to jump, and it was one he really hadn’t thought of, as his expression changed to one of realization. 

As the two of you mill over what to do in that situation, neither notices the female deputy approaching until she’s too close for comfort. “Hi there, are you two Agents Y/L/N and Rossi?”, you can practically feel the buildup of embarrassment in your stomach as you realize there’s no clear escape. 

“That would be us, how can we help you?” you thank your lucky stars that he takes the lead, and the petite woman turns her focus to him, allowing you to breathe for a moment. 

“My supervisor said you had a little bit of a difference in opinion about my report, so I wanted to come over and introduce myself and talk to you personally about the problem”, she smiles, extends her hand, and the two of you take turns shaking it briefly. 

You hand the file back over to Rossi, and he nods as he flips through, his finger dancing along each sentence until he comes across the line he wants, and then he turns to look at you quickly, “actually, Agent Y/L/N was just going to head over to that store and see if they have anything to give us, why doesn’t she do that while we discuss?”. 

She smiles and nods in agreement, “efficiency at its finest, of course, but don’t get your heart caught up on any one thing in there”, she pauses, just long enough to look you over from head to toe and say, “cause honey, I don’t think they sell that size”. 

It’s like she sucked every ounce of oxygen out of the atmosphere, and you stare at her with an unwavering look of anger and disgust. “Excuse me?” you spit out, waiting for her to try and recover from what she said, but to your disbelief she digs a deeper hole. 

“Well, I was just saying cause they sell really nice stuff, but I see what you’re wearing and they don’t sell things that big so I’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt”. You couldn’t believe the downright audacity of this woman, trying to pretend like she was some saving grace. 

Without another word, you roll your eyes and, making sure the tear in your pants is covered, walk heavily toward the store, your footfalls strong and determined. As you step into the store, an associate motions at you to come over, and starts into her sales monologue, but you cut her off. 

“Look, I’m really sorry but I don’t have any time to waste, I just need to know where your size (INSERT YOUR SIZE) are, and if this is gunna cost me an arm and a leg”, her eyes widen at your to the point speech, and she just points in the direction of what you’re looking for. 

“We have a sale on right now so it shouldn’t be too bad” she mumbles, probably the sale she was trying to talk to you about two seconds earlier,  and you head off toward the back. 

Scouring the seemingly endless shelves, you pull out a pair of black dress pants and stare at how tapered the legs were, could you actually pull this off? That fleeting moment of doubt was followed by the idea of the look on that woman’s judgemental face, and you were filled with a confidence like never before.   

It only took you five minutes to find an outfit, and save for the time you spent overanalyzing in the shop’s fitting room, you were in and out fairly quick and without any suspicion or asking where you were. As you slip your sunglasses back on and tuck a loose lock of hair behind your ear, you throw open the door and take a deep breath. 

Looking out at the sea of never-slowing people, you take one step, then two, and before you know it you’re power walking through the mob, straight toward Rossi and the “they don’t sell your size” melted away as the team caught notice of you strutting across the tarmac, head held high. 

“So the storeowner said she handed in the video from her surveillance cameras, and there’s nothing more to report” you say nonchalantly, as if you hadn’t just become a different person in front of their very eyes. 

Rossi’s face breaks into a grin, the first since he’d been frustrated with the lack of attention to detail in the report, and he claps a hand on your shoulder, “well done, thank you”. You smile back, and have to hold back laughter as you watch the officer eat every word she so quaintly spit out, and reach out a hand, to which she limply accepts to shake. 

“I have better things to do, more helpful things for the case, so I’ll see you around”, you turned on your heel and headed toward where the rest of the team was standing, sure that Rossi wouldn’t be too far behind now that the point was made. 

Spencer is the first to lock eyes with you, and his jaw drops slack for just a moment before he catches himself and shuts it, replacing it with a smile. “Wow Y/N, you look incredible”, JJ points out the way your shoes coordinate with the top you chose, and you smile sheepishly as you hadn’t even been trying to do that. 

“I didn’t think you wore anything your size Y/N, about time you gathered your confidence” Morgan teases, but Reid shakes his head and looks to you. 

A/N: Hey again :) I posted two lists of those ask things, I’m just hoping to get the activity and number of posts on the blog started back up again, but that’s a laugh cause nobody ever asks those so I’m just throwing paint at walls basically LOL! Anyway, this is a request for a sequel to THIS IMAGINE (2015 work - whoa) - Emma 

Rating: PG

Warnings: None that I can think of

Imagine... 

Spencer’s fingers drummed a steady beat along the arm of the stiff-backed, uncomfortably hot leather chair in the far too quiet room. His Adam’s apple bobbed with what seemed like a painfully dry swallow and he winced, barely noticeable other than in his eyes. 

You were watching him, acutely aware of every move that he made, from the other side of your therapist’s door. It had been three brutal, nightmarish months since you’d found yourself horrified, unable to catch your breath as the empty hotel room spiralled around you, the floor threatening to swallow you up at any moment. 

These last few months had brought forth far too many of your hallucinations for Reid’s liking, too many moments where you stared wide-eyed, tears the only movement on your pale, frozen face, at something he couldn’t see. “I thought you said it was only with extreme stress, or scarring images? Is that how you’ve been feeling?”.

A gentle sigh escaped through your chapped lips, and you instinctively dipped out your tongue, followed by teeth to pull on the peeling skin. This far too tiny square of glass must be there in the door so you don’t feel entirely boxed in, but you felt more like a caged animal that you ever had. 

“It is, but with being a rookie on a team like the BAU, extreme stress and scarring images seem to be what I signed up for, so I’m just going to lay in the bed I’ve made and it’ll pass when I acclimate”, that was how you wanted to do this, keep seeing what made you question if you could continue what you were doing until you didn’t see it anymore. 

That hadn’t been good enough for Spencer, who had scoffed at the mere mention of just letting it continue, and he’d shook his head as well as he’d dug around inside his bag. “I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think it could make a difference for you”, the card, emblazoned with a logo and contact information, had directed you here, where you watched him through a window and yearned to be home. 

You hadn’t admitted it to him that these things that you were seeing were confusing you just as much as they were him, you had no idea where they were coming from or how to make them stop - but the sudden flash of a notebook in front of the tiny window brought you to your senses, “shit”, you muttered as you hurried back to the seat you’d been offered ten minutes earlier. 

“Y/N, Y/L/N?” she didn’t wait for you to confirm before introducing herself, offering a hand, and you accepted politely knowing that Spence would shake his head at you. “I can’t discuss other patients, but I’m very happy to hear your referral was taken into consideration, let me just ask a few basic questions and we’ll go from there, sound good?”. 

Her voice was gentle and warm, as if she knew that you were irritated and unable to be on the same level as she was, and set that aside entirely. It was your turn to swallow heavily, nodding hesitantly as she smiled over her glasses. 

*Spencer’s POV* 

For the second time in the last hour, the receptionist had caught me staring at the door with eager eyes and smiled, followed by a reassuring word, “she won’t be much longer Dr. Reid!”, but like I said, this was the second time she’d said that in just over an hour. 

It wasn’t that I was worried that she was going to come out a horrible mess and tell me it was all over for her, it was that I was worried that she was going to come out completely well put together and emotionally unchanged. Again, not that I thought she was emotionally challenged or anything - this was just a really tough situation for her and she wasn’t sure how to handle it, and neither am I, but I don’t really know what I’m worried about, she’s good, she’s more than good, am I good? 

 A young boy comes in, his hand held tightly in that of who I infer is his father, they look so extremely similar. He reaches out his hand and is met with a bottle of water, oh how I wanted a bottle of water, but I didn’t want to leave the room, what if as soon as I left, she was done? She’d have nobody waiting and I’d feel horrible. 

“Dr. Reid, can I speak with you a moment?” it takes the older woman a few times before I register that I’m Dr. Reid, and that she wants to speak with me for a moment. I turn, tearing my eyes away from the vending machine, and meet the gaze of the therapist, “Y/N is all done her session, I just wanted a quick word”.

Y/N smiles weakly from behind that too small square, how useless are those? Put a real window in your room, and I wave back. “Sure, just a moment right?”, she nods, and I stretch with a loud crack in my knee as I move from my previous lookout. 

When we’re in the adjoining room, she takes a quick look through her notebook before she addresses me. “You know I adhere strictly to patient confidentiality, so I won’t breach that, but I just wanted to say thank you for referring to me, I’m glad to take it on, and I just wanted to ask a few favours.” 

*Y/N’s POV* 

Spencer steps back through the doorway and wastes no time in making his way to your now-open room. “Ready to head out?” he asks softly, and you nod, reaching for his hand subconsciously, it was comfort that you wanted right now. 

He didn’t press with any questions, just held your hand tightly and allowed you to vent, you went over what she had asked you, which was way too many questions about your childhood than you felt comfortable with, in your opinion. “Did she set you up with any next steps?”, he checked his way to make sure it was clear before leading the two of you across the street. 

“I’m going to come back, I agreed to 2-3 sessions a week as long as I can make it with our work schedule - but no excuses, I have to be there at least once a week. Otherwise, she mentioned a few meditation exercises to look into, and suggested this book, so do you mind if we swing by and pick up a copy at that place by your apartment?”. 

He nods, a slight smile on his face, and your brow furrows, “why so smiley there Dr. Reid?” you ask, and he just shrugs. 

“I’m just happy that you have some next steps to take, and that you’ve got a good head about it, and of course we can go I love that store”, he opens the driver’s side door for you, and waits before carefully closing it once more. You found yourself smiling, he was right, this was a good start. 

*One Week Later* 

You felt as though this week wasn’t much different than your usual, but what you did feel was the slightest bit of relief at the tiny difference in your hallucinations. They weren’t gone, of course they weren’t, this wasn’t some magical fix, but they had decreased by three so far this week. 

It was a battle you didn’t expect to be so strenuous, you were only about a quarter of the way through your new book, and your meditation exercises sometimes got forgotten about after a too-long day of being on your feet, and your sleep schedule wasn’t the best when you and the team were on the road, but you were still grateful for the little break you were getting. 

The aroma of coffee made you turn your focus, Reid was in the break room just out of eyesight, but you knew exactly what he was doing. You had been so extremely thankful for his help these last seven days, making sure he reminded you when it was getting late, and setting up your calming noises for you so you could meditate. 

He brought you coffee every morning, afternoon, and then decaffeinated tea at night, made sure you kept up with eating and drinking water, and had made it his personal mission to be your biggest cheerleader and shoulder to cry on when you got defeated, and you were really appreciating this new routine. 

As he re-entered the room, two mugs in hand, he came directly to your desk and set it down on your coaster for you. “Thank you Spence, really” you smiled, before reaching to catch him as he turned - it was a busy day getting ready to head out tonight - but he still made time for you. 

“Kiss me?” you asked, and he chuckled softly before nodding, and leaning over to place one softly on your lips, which were in much better shape after he bought the best chapstick he could find. He brushed your cheek gently, and as he straightened a piece of lined paper fluttered down from his jacket pocket, and you snatched it up before he could. 

His face burned bright red as you unfolded it, the handwriting wasn’t his own, and you started reading with nervousness heavy on your chest. 

Keep an eye on her eating and drinking habits, those make more of a difference than considered. 

A minimum of 8 hours is what she should be sleeping, I find the mind has a much harder time making things up when you’re well rested and clear. 

Find a soundtrack, not music necessarily, but sounds to accompany her meditation, that helps beginners find their calm easier. 

If you know of things that bring a positive reaction, try to keep up that positivity, and keep finding new ways to bring the reaction around.

Omg hi! I was so hoping you’d send in another message! I was really caught between him and Tony for some reason?? 

Like I just kept picturing Tony in all of the same situations, and I could see how he’d act differently, so then I’d throw Bruce in there and it just really bounced back and forth for a while before I finally felt like Bruce won out! 

I’m so happy he’s actually someone you love as a character - it would be extremely awkward if you didn’t oh god, then I’d be saying I could die. 

A/N - Hi everyone! It’s really good to be back writing actual imagines again, this was a request that has probably been awaiting my answer for months - because I haven’t been able to be active - but I’m getting to it now! The request is for Reid, post shot-in-the-leg-injury, being taken care of by Y/N

Warnings: None that I can think of 

Rating: P/G 

Imagine...

You watched with eager, worried eyes as he slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, tossing the covers messily over to your side, a grimace on his face. “Take it slow, remember what your surgeon said”, your voice was calm and mellow in the silent space between the two of you. 

He was stubborn, more than stubborn actually, and it had been the most difficult week of your life as you settled into your new position as his in-home caregiver, something he hated, but that just made it harder to do. “Yes I know, I can do it”, his tone almost made you roll your eyes, but you caught yourself, knowing it’d only spark a fire. 

A deep, poorly-stifled groan caught your attention as he rose to his feet, struggling momentarily to get his crutches underneath him, but you stood, unmoving, in the corner and allowed him to come to grips with the discomfort of the situation himself. 

He hopped across the room, his eyes never leaving the floor, and you let him lead as you called for the cat and shut the door behind yourself. “Anything for breakfast?” you murmured, coming around the corner into the kitchen as he sets himself up at the table. 

“I think I’m good, maybe just-” reaching for the cupboard door you answer his question before he’s even asked, and you close your fingers around the handle of his favourite mug. “Thank you” he smiles, “you know me so well” with a wink he laughs quietly, and your earlier frustration starts to thaw away. 

You watch the dark liquid, bubbling and hot, gush forward into the cup and you’re careful to avoid any spilling while you make light conversation. 

“So, any plans for today? How are you feeling?”, your sentence is punctuated with the sound of the spoon tinkling up against the mug, and he waits for you to join him at the table before he goes on about his schedule. 

“I’ve been thinking I should head back into work, see what I could do on site with Garcia, you know? They won’t have me in the field at all, but that’s probably a good start, right?”, he blows gently on the coffee, and the steam breaks for a mere moment of clarity above the cup, before returning and swirling up into nothingness. 

That was how you currently felt, as if you could float up into nothingness above the two of you, but would it be any better up there?, “You know, I don’t think it’s quite the right time for that yet, you may be pushing yourself too far too fast”. It was hard to differentiate whether you truly felt that way, or whether you were just too fearful to let him go back. 

You knew what his career demanded of him, because it was the shared career the two of you had that had brought you together in the first place, and you never got used to the stomach dropping feeling of a phone call that you weren’t expecting. 

Quickly, quickly, quickly, that’s the only word you felt like your supervisor ever said - didn’t she know that it was impossible to be any quicker when you were waiting on test results? You weren’t a damn machine. 

“Y/L/N, I wanted all of the information compiled and in the break room by noon, and it’s now one o’clock, where is what I asked for and why is it taking you so long?” her shrill voice was only beat out by the sound of styrofoam rubbing together on your list of most-hated sounds. 

Taking a minute to compose yourself, you can feel the strain of the saliva you swallow scratching against the dryness of your throat. “Well, ma’am, the clin-path lab is backed up by about an hour and forty five, or so they’ve told me three times already”. 

You tried to make her realize it wasn’t on you, but that was useless, “well if you knew they were busy, why wouldn’t you have handed in what I needed earlier, we have deadlines around here if you don’t care to forget about them”. With that, she had tsk-tsked you as if you were her scolded child, and turned on her heel to leave. 

With what felt like a ball of fury knotted in your stomach, you stood so abruptly your chair tipped, and clambered against the filing cabinet behind you, but it didn’t matter anyway because you were already on your way down to the lab. 

“What a bitch” you hissed, “what a vile, horrible woman! You think I would purposefully have late results? Of course not! Then I have to deal with you even more!” you ranted heavily to yourself, your body carrying you to your destination on auto-pilot, allowing you to let off the slightest bit of steam. 

Against your thigh, your phone began to vibrate, short and quick bursts made you clue in that it was a call, but you figured it was just from upstairs and you didn’t have the time, nor were you in the mood to answer her right now, so you let it go and it ceased moments later.

The tech’s barely flinched when the door opened anymore, they were overworked, underpaid, and running on nothing but caffeine and vending machine meals. “Y/N, I only have one set of results back, I’m so sorry I’m still waiting on the other two”, your favourite technician, Andy, handed you a manilla envelope. 

“It’s the toxicology” he adds on, before scurrying back over to his station, his hands reaching for new gloves as he wastes no time with formalities. Perfect, at least there’s something to hand over, you think as you reach for your phone. It had been buzzing since you stepped in, but Andy had quickly stolen your attention. 

“Y/L/N” you chirped, expecting the boss devil-woman on the other end. 

“Why haven’t you been answering? We’ve got an emergency, there’s been an incident” it was Morgan, and you immediately froze in the doorway of the stairwell, but only for a second before you shake off the ice seeming to latch onto your limbs. 

Your legs are pumping up the stairs, skipping you don’t even know how many steps at a time, and yelling into the phone as you hustle. “What’s going on? Where am I headed?”, you asked no more questions, you required no more answers in the moment. 

“It’s Reid, he’s been shot in the leg, he was conscious and directed EMT’s to the un-sub before himself, but he’s in surgery right now to assess the impact”, your stomach wasn’t just doing flips, it was performing a full floor routine as you flew passed the boss’ office. “We’re here, we didn’t travel”. 

You could still remember the way you had felt, feet pounding across the linoleum of the hospital floor, as you raced to find the room number that you’d barely stopped long enough to find out. It was kind of like how you felt right now, with him so eager to get back to what nearly took him from you. 

It felt weird, but you felt as though he was being selfish, why couldn’t he just wait it out like he was supposed to? You’d spent this last week making coffee and breakfast, lunch and dinner, helping him in and out of the bath, off and on the toilet in the earlier days, everything you could think of needing help with when you’re down a leg, you had helped with.

“I’m not sure, are you really, really ready for that? I mean, I know you just want to go back to the office, but still”, it came out quiet, nervous to upset. He sipped once more, before nodding. 

“I figured you would say that, and I also figured that I’d settle your anxiety before you let it get out of hand”, at first you weren’t sure how to take that, be offended or be gracious? It was all in what he had to say next. 

“I’m not going in today, I wanted to test the waters and see if you were okay or not with it, and I completely understand and appreciate that you’re not”, he took a minute to let you calm and become levelheaded. 

“I’ve decided to not go in for a few more days, I’m gunna wait out the rest of your time off with you” you felt your blood pressure start to fall from it’s heightened state, your stress beginning to peel back layer by layer. 

You hadn’t even thought of that, your time off would’ve still been in effect, and you weren’t allowed back at work until it officially ended, your boss had said “for your mental health” - but her tone had sounded more like “for my mental health”. 

“Okay.. So what’s next then? What are you planning?” you knew that if you could write it all down and have it planned out, it wouldn’t be so hard on you when he decided to go back. 

“What’s next is that you go pick a movie, I’m going to sit here and wish I could be of more help, and then we’re going to cuddle and watch what you’ve picked out, then we’ll se about ordering lunch in and go from there, sound good?”. You could’ve cried you were so grateful for him and his unrivalled smarts. 

Hey there! I actually was so shocked to get this message, I had to go back in my archive to August 2015 to find the masterlist that had this one on it lol! I usually don’t like bringing back old ones to sequel them - but this time I don’t mind doing it. I have a few other requests first, but then I will definitely revive Get In. 

I’ll link the first part here, and I’ll also link it again when I post the sequel. Keep in mind this is old work, so I fully admit that it comes from a lesser calibre (I believe), to what I can write now - so I really hope to breathe some new life into it when I post the sequel! 

Thank you so much again, here’s part one: