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I hope I die soon

Im trying so hard to feel like I'm in an okay spot but then I see others just like me, same age. Looking exactly the way I wish I did. If only I had put in the work earlier id be where I wish I was today but nope now I have to barely start now and hope I see progress soon even though I know it doesnt work that quick 😔

Oof I want to just leave work. Just be away for a while. Im just exhausted. I hate life rn

I'm more terrified of the pain I'll have to endure to live than just dying. I'd rather be put out of my misery sometimes. I don't know what the future holds and it fucking scares me. I don't want to know. I don't want to feel the things I will have to eventually feel.

I can't keep dealing with all this bs

I feel so alone

Why do people switch up on their friends after a relationship? Genuine question because what the actual fuck. I was part of a trio. We were all close until one friend neglected our friendship and treated us like shit once entering a relationship. It was now just a duo, and we were close for years. YEARS. And now you're doing the exact same to me? Fuck this bullshit. I'm sick of friends.

I need to feel like I'm not broken. Why does everyone make me feel like I'm broken? Am I?

Bro gets upset that I doubt him "when he's good to me" as if he hasn't given me a million reasons to doubt him in the past based on the way he treated me. God forbid I don't put all my trust in you after you shattered it only a few months ago. I'm the monster for being suspicious, huh?

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm so tired. I feel like I'll never be happy, like there's no purpose for me. What's the point in life honestly. I can't do this. I can't keep going on. It's too much. For nothing.

I can't do this anymore. The trazodone with some alcohol looks tempting.