Rhett Andy Hates Ur Guts

Fuck Sol, marry Dona, kill Clem*

I have a skin condition that makes it hard to tattoo my skin, but I managed to get a moth done on my upper abdo under my tits. You can see it in a low cut top, it's really hot. The wings spread to my ribs. Other than that, Cass and I did home jobs on our ankles. But the moth took literal days and a specialist tattooist so I dunno how many more I'd get. Love tattoos though. I'd love to look like G Flip if I had normal skin.

Are you asking if I've got a blonde bush? You people see my armpits don't you? Sometimes I think you won't be happy until you've seen every bare inch of our collective skin. It's fucking weird dude. The Band and I aren't planning on starting an OnlyFans but if we ever do, I'm sure you'll be the first to know.

Cass's pubes are pink though so just be mentally prepared.

It's called a performance you fucking idiot. Did you really think you had a chance with the fake dick strapped to my jeans? It's as long as my arm, you weirdo.

First of all, disrespectful to Fleetwood Mac. Stevie Nicks has been one of our biggest supporters and I don't like the fact you've even brought them up, gross of you.

Why couldn’t I be enough for you? I loved you but it was so easy for you to forget about me when I wasn’t around. I hate that you made me think I could actually be loved. You gave me hope just to fucking take it away. Just cruel.

I'm not gunna fuck or marry dudes. Not even imaginary.

I know you're probably on stage right now and can't answer but I'm about to go to bed and I just wanted to say I love and miss you. Can't wait for you to come home

*Ringing* {she doesn't answer}

*Ringing x5 until pick up*

Nah, that's not our style. We're too down to earth I think. We're never gunna hit super star status without remembering where we came from. And if you think we're both not already getting offers from famous people, you're kidding yourself.

I dunno. Same old. Maybe have a few pups by then if Sol is keen. I dunno about marriage. It's too much like a contract. Having a kid is way more impressive a display of love. I know Sol wants kids and I think she'd be a great mum. I just dunno who we'd get the gravy from. Maybe Derrick would be keen?

Look, I wanna say it's my girlfriend, Sol, but that wouldn't be honest. There's this chick who goes to literally every show. I see her all the time. And she like, she repeats outfits that I've worn? Which isn't hard you know, white singlet and a strap. But wearing a strap in the pit? That's unusual. I guess I was flattered until she got a perm to make her hair exactly like mine. And I think a boob job too, but to make them smaller? I don't have big tits. I dunno. Security knows about her because she's tried to jump out of dumpsters to chat with me. Like I get it, I'm hot and I'm great at drums, but fucking cool it.