What I miss about not having an eating disorder :
*eating whatever you want
*going out to eat with family & friends
*life not being about restricting, losing weight, and fear of gaining weight
*living a normal, healthy life
*having energy & mind power at work
*not regretting every bite of low calorie food
*having a fucking personality
Why I Can't Give This Illness Up :
*GAINING WEIGHT GAINING WEIGHT GAINING WEIGHT
*I only feel safe, comfortable, and pretty when I'm underweight
*I'd rather be thin & depressed than fat & depressed
*Gaining weight will just make me 146647868890 times more depressed
*If I started eating again, I wouldn't be able to stop (it would turn into binge eating)
*If I commit suicide, I'll still be thin & beautiful in my coffin
*Being able to wear whatever I want
*I can't let go of my defined cheek bones, thigh gap, small waist, skinny wrist, feeling my spine & collarbones, feeling tiny
*Again, I'm depressed, lonely, and hungry but at least I can be skinny while doing it.
This is NOT promotion to not recover. This is personal. Stay safe lovies 💜