emily

i’m scared, my mom was that person that just helped everyone even if they didn’t help her or even if she was in pain. she would put others first. she was the most kind, thoughtful, caring person. she always knew how to light up a room, how to bring people together. she was the glue to my family, without her it just doesn’t feel right. like yesterday night, my brother has anger issues and it gets worse when he drinks. he was yelling and shouting and smashing things on the ground, i was scared and my heart was racing. i mean i’ve been living with this my whole life and i was never scared but i guess since my mom passed i just know that she can’t talk to him and calm him down and i can tell that i’m way more sensitive then ever so that’s probably why. but anyway my mom was also not herself for the past two years but that’s a story for a different time.

so this is my first post, 8/5/22 at 11:55 pm. my mom past on the 11th and i guess this is gunna be a way to express what i’m thinking and how i’m feeling. i’m doing this because i have a hard time opening up to people and always found it easier to post something online which sounds weird but when no one even knows me on here it feels easier to say stuff. i’m also young and don’t know how to say stuff and not make it sound weird so i hope this will hopefully help me a little when going though this process.