steel your heart!

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

god said let’s make a girl who will be heart achingly lonely in her bones and always feel like a stranger in this world who doesn’t belong in any room she’s in and always has one foot out the door

a girl does start to feel optimistic in a patch of sun

how do you just get up and deal with the fact that there’s a last time for everything. there was a last time you sat on your dads shoulders and there was a last time your mom tucked you into bed. there’s going to be a last time you kiss your sister on the head and there’s going to be a last time you hug your best friend. there’s going to be a last time you feel exactly as you feel right now and there’s going to be a last time that person says i love you. i need to lay down

im so glad discovering music is endless 

what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become