... From The Trapdoor

--- Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: Breakout! Review ---

 Warning: Attraction Spoilers and Political Discussion Ahead

     On May 27th, 2017, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: Breakout! opened at Disney California Adventure to massive crowds and press coverage. The attraction was certainly not without its controversy leading up to its construction and opening due to the nature of what the “new” attraction would entail. From May 5th, 2004 to January 2nd, 2017, the space now occupied by Guardians was home to a popular and well known Disney attraction called The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. The closure of this attraction has caused a massive divide in the Disney fan community, as is often the case when a beloved attraction is closed or shuttered for another.

 --- History and Controversy ---

     To start, before discussing Guardians, one must know a little history behind the attraction that it replaced. The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror originally opened in July 1994 at Walt Disney World’s MGM/Hollywood Studios. At the time it was considered one of the most detailed and technologically advanced attractions ever created, and that assessment still holds up to scrutiny to this day. Next we move to Disneyland Paris, and, its sister park, the Walt Disney Studios Park. Shortly after opening, plans were in place to build a new variant of The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney’s European experiment, but Disneyland Paris came up short in expectations. The resort had a myriad of problems, from culture clashing designs to a problem that was becoming constantly clear in the Walt Disney theme park division: to many hotel rooms. Disney wanted desperately to keep people on their resort properties and as a result overestimated the amount of hotel rooms needed to keep said guests there. When the hotels failed to fill, so too did the parks and the Tower of Terror was placed on the backburner with its reserved spot shadowed by the Hollywood Tower Hotel’s logo.

 Meanwhile Disney’s newest park in the United States was having its own problems. Disney’s California Adventure, now Disney California Adventure, opened to lukewarm reviews. In its first year of operation, a ride was actually closed to improve guest satisfaction. A lot of complaints abounded about the park but one of the chief complaints was the lack of a Disney feel. In designing California Adventure, Disney Imagineers attempted to avoid placing known Disney characters in the park to give the park a unique feel. The characters were to stay in Disneyland across the way, California Adventure was to exist alone. This didn’t go over well with the public and so plans were immediately set into motion to build a new expansion with Disney flare. The aptly named “A Bug’s Land,” named after the Disney/Pixar movie “A Bug’s Life,” took over a section of the park dedicated to California’s Horticultural heritage and featured kid sized rides with a Bug’s Life theme. Following this, plans were pushed through to build Paris’ planned Tower of Terror at Disney’s California Adventure, in hopes of boosting park attendance. There was some hesitation to do this though. As many know, on September 11th, 2001, there was a massive terrorist attack in the United States that cost the lives of many innocent people and devastated not just the country, but the world as a whole. The words “Tower” and “Terror” became connected to the collapse of the World Trade Center buildings and the horrific events that unfolded that day. Disney was seeking to avoid having to use the words “Tower” and “Terror” with a burned out and destroyed high rise building but could find no alternative ways to go about it. Another issue arose with the planned location of the attraction. The Tower of Terror was set to be placed in the Hollywood Pictures Backlot area of Disney’s California Adventure, off a replica of Sunset Boulevard. This placement meant that the burned out and destroyed sections of the building would be directly in line with the Condor Flats Airfield on the other side of the park, leading to possible connotations of airplanes and destroyed Towers.

     Still Disney pressed forward and on May 5th, 2004, The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror opened at Disney’s California Adventure to praise and extremely positive reviews. Notable criticisms came about in the changes made to the ride system. MGM Studios’, hereafter referred to as WDW’s Tower of Terror, featured a popular and complicated show scene called “The 5th Dimension Scene” wherein the elevator would move out of the elevator shaft and travel down a hallway, transporting its riders into the Twilight Zone. This single scene was noted as being one of the primary causes for the attraction to breakdown on a regular basis, as loose objects, such as park maps or tickets, may end up landing on the sensors that guide the elevator through the hallway. When this section is the main factor in a breakdown, half the attraction is left operating, as the attraction layout and design incorporates two copies of the attraction’s ride system. Disney sought to change the design while still using the same aesthetic of riding a haunted elevator. DCA’s, and by extension the future Paris and Tokyo variants, all use the newer ride design that allowed a massive jump in capacity while still keeping the feel and flow of the original attraction. Comparatively, DCA’s is a bit more simplistic in technological design, while, in this writer’s opinion, advances and improves on the story beats of the original. Without the slow paced 5th Dimension Scene, the ride instead utilizes a few unique tricks to mess with the riders. A push backwards from the loading doors at the beginning, a haunted mirror, and drift back into reality. The newer variant hits all the points needed to give the Tower of Terror the haunted elevator ride of your life while still conceding to the compromises needed to fix a messy original. Disney attractions as a whole are often subjected to newer variants as technology improves, where an original (Something like WDW’s Space Mountain) can be surpassed by a redesign (like Disneyland’s Space Mountain).

     In July, 2016, Disney announced the closure of The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at San Diego Comic Con. Reports vary, but word is the announcement was met with either silence, boos, or both. Shortly thereafter, the famous Hollywood Tower Hotel sign on the face of the building was removed unceremoniously overnight, and scrims and scaffolds went up in the following weeks. If those reading haven’t already guessed, the Tower of Terror was my favorite Disney attraction, with particular emphasis on DCA’s version, so this change was already bitter to start with. I had seen Guardians of the Galaxy not long after it had come out on insta-watch on TV and I found it funny but I couldn’t find myself relating to the characters. Overall, a good popcorn flick for the summer but nothing to write home about. So, seeing my favorite ride replaced with an “alright movie” upset me. It has made me extremely critical of the changes and for that sake I will warn that my review will be looking at it harshly; and it should be looked at harshly. Disney attractions are supposed to be top tier. Nothing on Earth is supposed to match their quality and design. I am not alone in this sentiment too. Hundreds of thousands of fans of the Tower attempted to the very last days to save its life, and even now continue hoping for its return some day. So, on with the show: Here is my review of Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: Breakout!

 --- Review ---

     Upon first viewing of the building, either outside the park or on approach, the bright colors and pipework are eye catching. A symbol, the one of the Collector himself, shimmers in the California sunlight, placed directly center on the building. A black bar of nothingness separates the upper half of the building into two sections. The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror was designed as a permanent attraction, and as such, the attraction’s former design elements stand out in full. The pueblo deco/art deco influences are still heavy and evident across the building, albit with a new coat of paint and a healthy bit of glued on pipes and satellite dishes. The top half of the building is awash in bright oranges, yellows, golds, coppers, silvers, blues, and browns, with the aforementioned inexplicable black strip in the middle. According to the comic book released to help detail the ride’s backstory, the black strip is intended to make the section “go away,” similar to how backstage areas of theatrical shows are painted black to hide it from the audience’s view. This is blatantly poor design, as sections of a massive 183 foot tall building in the middle of Southern California cannot be made to just disappear by painting it black. Admittedly it does vanish with clever lighting at night, but the majority of people will see it in the daylight. This top half of the building was the first thing seen by many as the scaffolds came down on the construction of the attraction, and as such has had time to grow on many and become less of the visual eyesore it was from the get go. That isn’t to say it’s not ugly, it is horribly ugly, but it is nowhere as bad as the lower half, which I will get to soon. The shiny pipes and other various “design elements” are highly reflective in the sunlight, and from some angles can make the building appear to be a lighthouse in broad daylight. The building stands out visibly from various areas in Disney California Adventure, most notably the tied in themed Buena Vista Street. As was mentioned earlier with the concerns about building Tower in sightline of an airfield, the new burned out destroyed segments are still in line with Grizzly Airfield, though whether the roadway there is an airstrip still is uncertain at the moment. People looking for it can also see the building from Disneyland’s Main Street, but that has always been the case, albit less visually disruptive before.

     Moving downward on the building, one comes to the former elevator doors that once allowed screaming guests a view into DCA and Disneyland before plunging into The Twilight Zone. Here, where the former lightning scar was, is what, according to the Disney Parks Blog, a section the building that appears to have been “attacked.” Now, let me start by saying that this is terrible design for a theme park attraction, especially in today’s political climate. Theme parks are supposed to be destinations that distract and remove you from the world beyond the park gates. Disneyland, for example, hides the entirety of Anaheim from the guests’ view, and that was intentional as, Walt Disney believed that Disneyland should be a place similar to a sanctuary. A location where one can forget their troubles and burdens for a few hours and enjoy some “real” magic. Having the tallest attraction in the Disneyland Resort, and by extension the tallest building in Anaheim, look like it was attacked, is poor in taste. Admittedly, the Tower of Terror’s lightning scar was similar in design, but the otherworldly purple and black scar made the broken building appear damaged by mysterious means. The burned and charred exterior of Guardians’ broken segments can be horribly offensive given the climate of today’s world, where attacks that have left buildings horribly damaged and people’s lives ruined have become uncomfortably common place. Reflecting on old rumors, this piece of the building was originally supposed to be covered up and enclosed to include a new “view into space” scene for the elevator ride. Rumors report that was cut due to the building unable to support the additional weight without massive structural work to match up with California’s strict codes for earthquake safety. Could this problem have been avoided? Certainly. Squaring off the scarred and broken sections to make it appear as if they were balconies and just normal looking building would have been easy and quick, but instead they sealed up the remains of the windows from the Hotel’s lightning scar and incorporated them into the broken remains of an attacked building.

     Moving further down, we get to the lower half of the building, most seen from the rides’ grounds and queue. This area is a complete mess. Sections are covered up with what looks like randomly placed junk and air vents. The colors are dingy and drab, with muted tans, browns, reds, oranges, golds, blues, coppers, silvers, greys, and blacks. The colors are similar to the upper sections of the building, albit with a dingier, dirtier, and more faded look. Notably, some sections appear as if the Imagineers ran out of paint midway through and started painting with another color. I am unsure if the reasoning behind the shifts in color brightness is due to the the lower and upper halves being two separate buildings, or what? Right now though there is an absolute visual clash between the bottom and top half and the only cohesion between the two is pipes and satellite dishes places haphazardly all over. The one redeeming section of the building is the small tower adjacent to the former lobby’s roof, just over what used to be the libraries of the Hollywood Tower Hotel. This part is gorgeously done with both the dingy and clean sections, featuring a dark blue and gold circuitry design and gold and copper accents. It is very much how I would picture a newer and revitalized Tomorrowland across the Esplanade. Other segments, are nowhere near as gorgeously done, which is a shame.

     At night, the building is lit by greens and oranges. With the building’s new spiky crown, some have jokingly called it a “pineapple.” A lighting designer friend found that the exterior lighting was a bizarre and semi sickening choice. From someone with a theatrical background in lighting, the colors of green and orange are chosen to create an uneasy and sick feeling in the audience. Where Tower’s dark blues and purples (jokingly called blurple) touched the soft tans of the building and created another atmosphere, the greens and oranges of Guardians clashes with the bright, garish colors of the attraction’s exterior, awarding it no favors. The boiler room is another notable misstep in lighting design, with more sickness inducing colors such as “dirty window yellow” and various greens. It was noted as looking as if “Disney gave their lightning designer either no time, no budget, or no tools to create something fitting the attraction, and instead did a quick job with what they had and walked away.” Strangely, I have not noticed any of the promised “things moving through pipes and glowing effects” on the exterior of the attraction at night. I am unsure if this was dropped entirely just before opening or is yet to come, or if I simply just missed it.

     The surrounding grounds are almost entirely untouched. The former bus stop fastpass stand remains exactly the same as it was in the Tower’s former glory days, and the Red Car Trolley stop still remains, although now is notified as a stop on “Sunset Boulevard” as opposed to “The Hollywood Tower Hotel.” The former HTH logos from the surrounding grounds were covered up or sealed and any references to the Hollywood Tower Hotel were stripped out of Buena Vista Street in the weeks leading up to the Guardians’ opening. This is an unfortunate shame, seeing as the Tower is supposed to still exist in the overarching lore of the park. Early reports stated that the Collector acquired the Hollywood Tower Hotel and by noticeable references in the current attraction’s line that still seems to be the case. So why remove the references everywhere else? This is a heartbreaking loss to the beautiful theming on Buena Vista Street where nothing but hooks were left in place of the posters after removal some weeks ago. After the attraction’s opening, the posters were placed back on Buena Vista Street with a single minor change. All references to the “Hollywood Tower Hotel” were replaced with Carthay Circle Theatre, but nothing design wise was altered. The building on one poster still is the Hollywood Tower Hotel and the former HTH at the top of the other is now CTC for some reason. This feels lazy and inconsiderate to a former popular attraction and to the land that these posters rest in.

     The former fountain is now a sign displaying the Collector’s newest acquisitions “THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY” as they are now on display for you, his very own VIP guests to his vault of wonders. Walking in through the former entryway is a massive statue of the Collector himself, shining and splendid. This is an admittedly nice touch, as the Collector seems to be the epitome of greed and self indulgence. The former gardens of the Tower are now much the same, except with some cards identifying rare plant breeds from various locals. The real treat comes when you enter into the former lobby. Another honest admission is the showroom for the various objects the Collector has acquired is a mixed bag. On the one hand, we have more pipework and questionable paint and style choices, but the artifacts on display are excellent in quality. Each has its own unique character to it in its own right. From the dog, Cosmo, wagging his tail, to the Ultron bot lighting up, each has life and a unique feel. There is a hidden “Figment the Dragon” from Walt Disney World in one of the containment cases suspended from the ceiling. This is a strange addition as west coast park goers are less likely to know who Figment is and the long battle park fans have had with Disney involving him. Maybe a subtle reference to the loss of Tower, a beloved attraction, for something new. On the back wall of the showroom is a large TV screen where the Collector first welcomes you and shows you his newest “artifacts”. This gives some exposition early, as it explains that the Guardians got captured due to Star-lord thinking the VIP tour was extended to everyone. Heading toward the former libraries, we are greeted with big metal doors with a red light above it that changes to blue when the room is ready to be entered.

     Entering the former Libraries, we are now treated to the offices of the Collector himself. He unfortunately couldn’t meet us personally but he sends a greeting to us via another screen. This is where a beautiful Rocket Raccoon animatronic shows up, having freshly escaped. Rocket then reveals his plan to us on how to break out the rest of the Guardians and how he needs our help. This is also where the cast members’ role in the attraction comes into play. The cast members are supposed to be mistreated by the Collector, and aren’t ones to object to messing with him and his collection. These disgruntled employees are there to assist us and Rocket in getting the Guardians free. This is an odd choice for a role for cast members to play, especially ones who were mostly former Tower Bellhops. How much is that play disgruntled actually real is the question here? Once again, these rooms (the Collectors’ Offices) are absolutely amazing and really well done, which is something I expect of Disney. Cluttered offices seem to be a specialty (see Jungle Cruise, Indiana Jones Adventure, Flight of Passage, Tower of Terror … ) and this one is certainly not missing any pieces. A few Hollywood Tower Hotel references are scattered around in here for those looking for a hint of the past.

        After Rocket gives us our mission, and steals back Star-lord’s walkman, we venture into ……… the boiler … room. There isn’t much to look at here. The room is almost entirely unchanged from the Tower of Terror days, save for some new paint and lighting, not to mention the props were switched out but if you remember Tower’s basement, you know Guardians’ … boiler … room? I’m not exactly sure what to call it but it’s basically the same. A few references are scattered about in here too, with one big one being the old Matterhorn yeti, Harold. Why he’s there, I have no idea, but he’s in there. This placement is a massive misstep as the Matterhorn yeti is supposed to be a real creature in the Swiss Alps and having the animatronic just standing there stationary in a collection breaks show of not just the attraction he’s from, but the attraction he’s currently in. Another big change is the new elevator loading area design, or I should say Gantry loading area. The former elevator dials have been swapped out for blue/red lights (just like the ones above the doors leading into the offices from the showroom.) The ride has you go through a security scan here, which I expected to be either a completely terrible idea or something similar to Flight of Passage’s high tech scanning screen. Sadly we get the “wave your hand so I can scan you. Okay done.” This feels, again, in bad taste given that park goers already had to do one security screening for the day, why do we need another? Next stop, the Twil … sorry … your Gantry Lift.

     Boarding is exactly the same as before, row by row, seat buckles from left to right. The cast member assisting with your loading winks and nods at your mission set forth by Rocket before sending you on your way. Here is where the ride starts. The Collector welcomes you grandly to his newest exhibition of his collection when Rocket cuts the party short. He disconnects the sound system and somehow plugs the walkman into it. Here one of six songs starts playing, signaling the ride you get. Now, a noticeably missed opportunity arises here, the songs are not from the movies. No Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain, no Blue Swede’s Hooked On a Feeling. Surprisingly the only song that carries over is the Jackson 5’s I Want You Back, which is an odd choice for the attraction as is. That isn’t to say the songs are bad choices, just that it feels like a missed opportunity with the movies having such a huge and known collection of songs to just skip over that and pick some random ones. The ride, once locked into the elevator shaft, does not stop. It shoots straight up to the generator room which is promptly powered down amid flickering and sparks. For those former Tower fans, the layout of the building is pretty well known and can easily recognize this room as the generator room takes place in the former Hallway Scene. Strangely, from the earlier mentioned videos on the showroom and offices, the generator room is shown to be above the Guardians, who are suspended above a death pit. The only “canon” gantry is the far right (when facing the building) due to the former Hallway Scene and Mirror Scene layout. From my experiences, the attraction shows various scenes of either the Guardians escaping captivity, fighting off various creatures (including some large tentacle monster) and finally leaving. The ride does not stop moving. I can’t stress this enough. The only pause moment is at the generator room which takes all of about 10 seconds to go through. The ride continues in a constant 2 to 2 and half minute drop sequence. The other show scenes showing the Guardians escaping and fighting have the gantry moving up and down in short bursts throughout the entire scene. The elevator doors, sorry, Gantry doors, at the top of the Tower open once to allow a picture and there is sometimes a comment at this point about seeing Disneyland. The other sets of doors never open, and this view is, again, only seen once per ride cycle. For me, who would get weak in the knees after riding Tower, I find the attraction lasts way too long in the drop sequencing. People with motion sickness should avoid it, as should anyone who avoided Tower for any reasons (such as it being a drop ride.)

 After the Guardians have been rescued and escaped, your Gantry comes to a rest at the basement again and is returned to the loading bay. You exit through a hallway and into the photo viewing area. Notably, the consistency of the Collector being a terrible boss continues in the exit hallway with his Assistant winning “Assistant of the Month” every month since it started. The gift shop, according to a few internet sites, is set up to sell off the Collector’s stuff due to his collection being too large, or the employees being disgruntled enough to try and earn a quick buck on the side. The merchandise is, of course, entirely Marvel themed, with some pieces here and there dedicated to the ride itself.

 --- Additional Notes ---

 Before I wrap up here, I should talk a little about the state of this attraction and what this means going forward. This change to Tower was sudden, and appeared rushed from the moment it was announced to the closing and subsequent opening. Questions abound as to why it was rushed through so quickly. Early rumors spoke of a push from executives in the company for a Marvel presence in the parks, and by extension a ride. Hong Kong got its new Iron Man simulator attraction, but what about the parks in the States? Now many would cite the reasonings behind Disneyland getting Guardians due to the contract regarding Marvel usage in theme parks and Universal’s theme park division but that is simply not the case here. The restrictions cover most of the movie properties prior to Disney’s acquisition of Marvel, and the Marvel name but Guardians and a few others are absent from this. This is why Walt Disney World was able to do various meet and greets with Marvel characters. Disneyland Anaheim can still not use the Marvel branding/name which is why the attraction is not “Disney/Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: Breakout!” Another popular argument is the supposed loss of the Twilight Zone license. Now again, this is certainly not the case due to Walt Disney World’s and the much more expensive Paris version not being affected. Some have argued that the license is by park, which would make sense, but losing a license at Disneyland certainly means doom for the other attractions. CBS coyly teased their confusion about the change in a news article talking about the announcement of Guardians and how Disney would not reply to statements as to why they decided to change the attraction. This was a clever way of CBS basically throwing their hands up and declaring that it’s “not our fault guys!”

 Why am I pointing this all out? Well, let me refer back to the original rumor leak and subsequent posts from the leaker. The posts detailed that the project was originally planned for Walt Disney World’s classic and original Tower. Now, that seems impossible right? Why would they even think of touching something that is considered sacred by almost all Disney fans? Well, that’s just it, Disney has proven before there is nothing sacred. Walt Disney World is no stranger to changes against fan favorites, and this would have been no different. Why didn’t it happen though? Well according to the post, the president of Hollywood Studios rejected the closure of one of the most popular and high capacity attractions in a park that is nearly under complete reconstruction, but Disney still wanted their Marvel attraction. Now, does any of this hold up to scrutiny? Yes. Particularly the lackluster exterior and boiler room. WDW’s and DCA’s Towers are very different rides that feature entirely different exteriors and a completely redone boiler room, but the lobby and libraries are almost entirely identical. If the project was planned for WDW’s Tower first, and scrapped, DCA’s got it next and required a rush job boiler room and exterior. Certain stylistic elements of Guardians would look much more visually appealing on the gothic points and spires of WDW’s Tower as opposed to the soft curved domes and boxy shape of DCA’s. Another element that was scrapped from even our version was the enclosure of the elevator doors so as to feature a view of space. WDW’s building would have allowed the enclosure of the exterior facing elevator doors much easier and without the hassle of California’s strict earthquake codes and building requirements. What I am getting at in the long run is that Disney determined The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at all parks worthy of being changed into an interior IP attraction, losing the gorgeous 1930’s hotel for a futuristic factory/warehouse. This is likely to remain unchanged, and I expect that Paris’ is next on the table for change, followed by WDW’s, no matter what the executives claim.

 --- Conclusion ---

 So, is it a bad ride? No, but neither was Tower. The ride system is true and proven and has been that way for over 20 years (WDW’s included.) The theme is where things are kind of a mess. Arguably, theming a Twilight Zone ride to an elevator drop ride sounds like a challenge, but it worked so well, and was done repeatedly because it worked so well. The Twilight Zone show was full of exposition and narrative. Every episode was a contained story and told you everything you needed to know from start to finish. The Tower of Terror did this as well, telling you everything you needed to know about the hotel, the missing guests, and that stormy night long ago. The ride had a slow build that gave more exposition and narrative, allowing you to fully wrap yourself in the lore of the attraction. The Tower ride system is good at that. Slow builds, tense anticipation, and a sudden thrilling adventure. It thrives on storytelling and that’s where Guardians fails the most. The Guardians’ story isn’t bad, completely the opposite, but it isn’t suited to the ride that it is on. Mission: Breakout! could have been an amazing coaster for example, flying through the Collector’s vast warehouse before blasting our way into space. Having a fast moving elevator that has no slow build defeats the anticipation and build that made Tower so memorable. People remember Tower for it’s lavish 1930’s theme, for the nervousness felt as the elevator ascended, knowing every floor you go up means just as many floors down. Guardians just shoots you up and down, flashing scenes of a story in front of you. Having it bounce around and move while the story that is there is displayed before you makes you lose the focus you have on it. Having characters say things that are barely audible over guests screams as the elevator drops makes having the characters saying anything pointless. Guardians has a lot of great points and moments. The showroom and offices are amazing and wonderfully detailed and furnished. I could spend hours looking at all the props and items throughout, soaking up the lore behind them, but the barely touched boiler room and the ugly exterior take so much away from the attraction, and the loss of Tower’s ultimately better told story makes the ride out to be lesser than the sum of its parts. When it comes down to it, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: Breakout! is a ride worth hitting once, but loses it’s luster fast when held up to the former Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

 Grade: C-