From the Comms Room

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by acaciapines

A man and a ferret walk onto a space station.

See, the joke here is that the ferret is the only non-winged daemon up in space, and the joke of THAT is those winged creatures are the only ones who can actually get around in a zero-gravity environment, at least, with any sort of grace. Plus, bird and bat-daemons are creatures of the sky: who the hell sends a ferret to space, when you have raptors that long for the skies anyways? But that’s alright. Communications Officer Doug-Rae Eiffel has a lot more problems than being the only ferret in a team that needs flight: because with traitorous crewmates, captains returning from the dead, and aliens just existing apparently, being a ferret tends to fall to the backside. And like, at least they ARE a person. That’s more than can be said for the more technological-based members of the crew.

But that’s just what life is like, 7.9 light years from Earth. Welcome, to Wolf 359.

Words: 8985, Chapters: 1/34, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Wolf 359 Daemon AU

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Renée Minkowski, Doug Eiffel, Hera (Wolf 359), Isabel Lovelace, Original Daemon Character(s)

Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Doug Eiffel & Renée Minkowski, Doug Eiffel & Hera, Hera & Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace & Renée Minkowski, Hera & Isabel Lovelace

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Daemons, (eventual) Crew as Family, POV Alternating, Artificial Intelligence, (and what that means in a world with daemons), Personhood and the different forms it takes, Unconventional Daemons, Daemon Severance/Intercision, lots of daemon lore!, Canon Rewrite: There's Daemons Now!, Ensemble Cast, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

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by ssrhpurgatory

A few weeks ago, Karl Kelley (terrible 90s alias Alexander Hilbert) made the mistake of masturbating in his office while fantasizing about his lab manager, and ever since then, she's been acting weird.

or: "I don't know why I'm writing a sequel to those two pieces from Kinktober 2020, but here it is."

Words: 4933, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of Accidental Kinktober Series

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Alexander Hilbert, Rosemary Epps (oc)

Relationships: Alexander Hilbert/Original Female Character

Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, 90s at Goddard Futuristics, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Begging

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by Trainwreck_WIP

The chances of running into one specific person in space, out of the entire human population, are nearly impossible. But Jacobi has never really had the best luck, now has he?

  In other words, I had the realization that Jacobi and Eiffel both worked in the Air Force around the same time and could have, theoretically, worked together.

Words: 905, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Daniel Jacobi, Doug Eiffel, Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: Prequel, Canon Compliant

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by 4AceOfSpades7

Hera feels a bit put down following yet another argument with Minkowski. She and Eiffel talk about it. Plus sticks and stones, venting into space, totally completely accidental death, epic pong battles, and being decimated.

Words: 781, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Doug Eiffel, Hera (Wolf 359)

Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Hera

Additional Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Eiffel simply just being a good friend, Casual discussion on how Hilbert sucks and should just be killed

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by LuckyxxxLuna

"G'night!" How dare Daniel Jacobi so casually walk away from tonight's revelations like that. Minkowski couldn't walk away from that. She couldn't just unsee what she'd seen on Jacobi's screen earlier today. Three counts of child endangerment. One count of kidnapping. Crimes attributed to one specific communications officer. Crimes attributed to one Douglas Eiffel. Crimes attributed to a man Renee Minkovski has never met. Doug's crimes keep Renee awake at night. She bullshits the Colonel, like the Colonel doesn't already know why Renee's knocking on the door to his private quarters at 4AM and requesting server access again. Renee thinks maybe she's found the other files she needs to prove his innocence, or to rip the bandaid off and make her face the reality. Renee doesn't know if she can listen to this audio file alone. The captain could easily handle this, right? The commander swears the captain and the computer to secrecy. The commander presses play.

Words: 3527, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Doug Eiffel, Kate (Wolf 359), Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace, Hera (Wolf 359)

Relationships: Doug Eiffel/Kate

Additional Tags: Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Intervention, Unplanned Pregnancy

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by MarlaHectic

Douglas Eiffel is trying to make this RIGHT this time around. However, as much as you try, certain ghost of the past are unavoidable...especially when they come within yourself.

Words: 923, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of Hephaestus Row (Downearth)

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio), Welcome to Night Vale

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Doug Eiffel, Hera (Wolf 359)

Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Hera

Additional Tags: Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dreams, Trauma, Self-Esteem Issues, Hera is a good friend, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Set in Welcome to Nightvale, With Magnus Lore, but is mainly Wolf 359, Second Chances, Doug Eiffel Needs a Hug, No beta we die like anyone working for Goddard Futuristics, Beholding Avatar Douglas Eiffel

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by yebabsoyl

On his first day of his senior year, Doug Eiffel is stuck in a class ran by the most insane woman he has ever met. Lucky for him, that woman assigned him a seat next to the new girl brand new Chuck Taylors. Friendship ensues.

Also! Choir class drama! Theater kid antics! Gay awakenings! Homeschoolers getting bullied (affectionate)! and more!

Words: 2015, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Hera (Wolf 359), Doug Eiffel, Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace, Warren Kepler

Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace & Renée Minkowski, Doug Eiffel & Hera, Doug Eiffel & Isabel Lovelace

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - High School, oh yeah baby the brainworms have been brewing this one up for a while, Not Beta Read, pop culture references, friendships, super bureaucratic english teachers, theater kids written by theater kids, this fic is sponsored by me projecting onto fictional characters

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by GoLBPodfics (GodOfLaundryBaskets)

"Can we... go back," Maxwell says, carefully, "to the part where I'm an alien?"

Words: 72, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Daniel Jacobi, Alana Maxwell, Victor Riemann

Relationships: Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Finale spoilers, a fix-it of sorts; just probably not the one you're looking for, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes

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by poorlittleminkmink

Victoire Fourier disappeared after the USS Unending Nightmare was complete, but disappearing and dying are two very different things.

Words: 1812, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death

Categories: Gen

Characters: Victoire Fourier, Elias Selberg, Alexander Hilbert, Isabel Lovelace, Mace Fisher, Kuan Hui (Wolf 359), Sam Lambert (Wolf 359), Rhea (Wolf 359)

Relationships: Victoire Fourier/Kuan Hui, Victoire Fourier/Isabel Lovelace, Victoire Fourier & Elias Selberg, Mace Fisher & Victoire Fourier, Victoire Fourier & Sam Lambert, Victoire Fourier/Elias Selberg, Victoire Fourier & Rhea

Additional Tags: most relationships implied, there’s not really explicitly stated relationships except kuan and fourier, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Character Study, her and hilbert aren’t kissing early on but it is implied that Something is there, fourier has a crush on isabel, Angst with a Happy Ending, kind of, Time Skips, In later chapters - Freeform, no beta we die like Hilbert

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by Qpi

Daniel Jacobi does not like space. Granted, he also doesn’t like jazz music, artificial grape flavoring, or ducks. But he especially dislikes space.

The launch shuttle shakes like Maxwell’s hands after one too many energy drinks, like a badly wired bomb before detonation, like Kelpler’s voice when he’s about to yell at them for doing something stupid. Jacobi prays to the God he doesn’t believe in that they don’t explode into a million tiny particles.

And they don’t. But really, it might have been a mercy if they did. Jacobi doesn’t like space, but he follows orders. Kepler's orders. And when the orders tell him to go to space? Well, guess where he goes.

Words: 2031, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Daniel Jacobi, Warren Kepler, Alana Maxwell

Relationships: implied Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler, Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler & Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: SI-5 (Wolf 359), Light Angst, found family but a little fucked up, Panic Attacks, Character Study, Canon Compliant, i mean it ends before the coup so you can decide if it's canon complainant or not, maxwell & jacobi are autism/adhd solidarity you can pry this hc out of my cold dead hands, yes this is named after a richard siken poem. next question, POV Third Person Limited, unreliable narrator? i guess?, POV Daniel Jacobi

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by drottkvaett

The ship hasn’t exploded, been hijacked by aliens, been taken over by a carnivorous plant, or done anything to warrant Cutter’s attention in months, and the little repairs and daily chores are making Jacobi want to die of boredom. He signed up for a high-octane secret agent lifestyle of explosions, secrets, and intrigue, not to be a glorified space mechanic with nothing to do. He’s black ops, for fuck’s sake. Always the grad school bicycle at heart, Jacobi decides that he is going to have sex this week if it kills him. Otherwise the boredom might kill him first.

Words: 3184, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Doug Eiffel

Relationships: Doug Eiffel/Daniel Jacobi

Additional Tags: Trans Daniel Jacobi, a bored jacobi is a dangerous jacobi, Casual Sex, offscreen jacobi/kepler, awkward (but hot) hookup with your annoying coworker

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by prismaticfyre, Qpi

“The universe is constantly expanding outwards at a rate faster than we can comprehend. And one day, it’ll collapse in on itself, and take us all with it.

We got our one-way ticket. This train doesn’t make any stops.”

Colonel Kepler tells a riddle and considers the concept of time. Plus, electric chairs, alien life, turtles, and a terribly hidden Richard Siken quote.

Words: 1059, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of The Entire History Of Human Desire

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Warren Kepler, Daniel Jacobi

Relationships: Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler & Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: Character Study, Screenplay/Script Format, Monologue, POV Warren Kepler, in the style of Episode 11: Am I Alone Now?, because SI-5 deserve monologues too, With thrilling themes such as: Time. Inescapable Circular Stories. Time. Riddles. And Time.

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by sh0rtwave (ac0lyte)

Doug Eiffel is in his second year at the prestigious Goddard University (don't ask how he got in - he doesn't know either). He lives with four of the most eccentric people he's ever met in a house that has far too many rooms. He goes to class (sometimes), does his homework (occasionally), and hosts a radio show live every Saturday. And, one terrifying night, he realizes he might just be in love with his best friend. The feeling doesn't go away, and it scares him to death. And it isn't even Halloween yet. This is going to be one hell of a year.

(Or, a story about being really in love with your best friend and really trying not to show it.)

Words: 7924, Chapters: 2/40, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Doug Eiffel, Hera (Wolf 359), Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace, Alexander Hilbert, Daniel Jacobi, Alana Maxwell, Warren Kepler

Relationships: Doug Eiffel/Hera, minor minlace, Doug Eiffel & Everyone, Hephaestus Crew

Additional Tags: nobody else was writing the 100k eiffera college au so i did, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, this au has taken over my brain SEND HELP, people get drunk btw, and theres like one offhand reference to the concept of sex but nothing explicit, basically just college student stuff thats the teen rating, Found Family, Fluff, lots of flashbacks to high school so ooo fun high school au backstory, bisexual eiffel truthing

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by fab_ia

After three minutes spent testing the strength of the things, Kepler sinks into the chair and relaxes his shoulders. “I have to say, this is one of the stranger ways to give someone a birthday present I've heard of.” He's faced with twin smiles, matching grins, and he offers his own in reply.

“Look at you,” one says.

“You don’t even know what we’re going to do to you,” says the other.

Words: 2921, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Multi

Characters: Warren Kepler, Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi

Relationships: Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler/Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: Edging, Teasing, Handcuffs, they love each other they don't say it but they do, kepler's birthday treat pt 2, bottompler, some nebulous time that i don't address, Vibrators, PWP

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by fab_ia

Jacobi has a hypothesis to test. While he hadn’t been the one to come up with it - that honour goes to Maxwell - he had suggested the test they plan to carry out.

Do you think, she’d said, picking a piece of sushi out of Jacobi’s Kepler-made lunch, that Kepler keeps feeding us like this because it’s how he shows he cares about something without having to say it?

Yeah, probably, Jacobi said, frowning at her.

Words: 6002, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Warren Kepler, Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi

Relationships: Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler & Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler, Warren Kepler & Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: happy birthday kepler, Birthday Cake, si5 care about each other and i will not shut up about it, Pre-Canon, Camping, food as a love language, I spent probably too long thinking about various things for this fic

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by poorlittleminkmink

Minkowski checks in on Hilbert after a long work day.

Words: 889, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Renée Minkowski, Alexander Hilbert, Dmitri Volodin

Relationships: Alexander Hilbert & Renèe Minkowski

Additional Tags: Fluff, Platonic Cuddling, Character Study, Ficlet, these two are friends thank you, i just think that they have an understanding of each other, like as people who come from immigrant backgrounds, minkowski just did everything in her power to erase her background in a different way than hilbert, no beta we die like Hilbert

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by academic_orpheus

high school is a challenge for everyone! but when renée gets dumped right before tech week for her spring musical, things start looking abysmal. fortunately, things start looking up when she befriends a certain girl from the band that, admittedly, intimidates the hell out of her.

Words: 2105, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Wolf 359 (Radio)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Multi

Characters: Renée Minkowski, Isabel Lovelace, Doug Eiffel, Hera (Wolf 359), Daniel Jacobi, Alana Maxwell, Warren Kepler, Rachel Young (Wolf 359), Marcus Cutter, Sam Lambert (Wolf 359), Dominik Koudelka (mentioned)

Relationships: Doug Eiffel/Hera, Isabel Lovelace/Renée Minkowski, Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - High School, theatre kids., and band kids., Theatre Kid Renee Minkowski, Band Kid Isabel Lovelace, slowburn, Doug Eiffel has ADHD, Autistic Hera, egregious references to Mamma Mia!